Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

IBM's AI guru leaps over to Brit biz benevolent.ai

Re: When will we have AI?

Well, it's been "just around the corner" since the 1960ies. I'd say this will be the status quo for quite some time.

Filmmaker Werner Herzog interviews Elon Musk for internet doco

After making five films with Klaus Kinski, what else is there?

NASA's OSIRIS-REx is off to nick some rocks from asteroid Bennu

“We were able to deliver OSIRIS-REx on time and under budget to the launch site, and will soon do something that no other NASA spacecraft has done – bring back a sample from an asteroid.”

I certainly don't want to pooh-pooh OSIRIS-REx, and maybe it's comparing apples and oranges - but 47 years ago NASA had spacecraft that brought back samples from the Moon.

"It reminds me of the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin when the world trembled at the sound of our rockets." -- Captain Ramius, Военно-морской флот СССР (fict.)

Call to kill FBI spying powers

Re: Stasi Theater

I think you mean Roland Freisler, a grade A asshole if ever there was one. So technically, Gestapo Theatre. His biography should be required reading as a warning for anyone going into law.

There also was this guy Fieseler, but he built airplanes.

Microsoft wearable makes lazy lardies pay to play on the couch

"In theory, a bracelet could be configured to automatically trigger a transfer of funds from the jogger’s account to a charity in response to missing a planned workout."

Oh, good - now I have the perfect excuse for skipping exercises: I'm doing it for charity.

Boffins ID bug behind London's Great Plague of 1665

More at the Max-Planck-Institut für Menschheitsgeschichte's site here; apparently archaeogenetics is one of their specialities.

Re: Gerbils

I'm fairly sure he meant Cricetus cricetus, also known as the European Hamster.

Google hover-drones to drop burritos on campus

Just wait until the first law student gets hit by a burrito or a drone...

"Don't be too hard on those damn millennials, after all, their first experience of Star Wars on the big screen was Episode One..."

Good point.

Petulant Facebook claims it can't tell the difference between child abuse and war photography

"Fook the fookin' fookers."

Brian O'Nolan

Google's AI finds its voice ... and it's surprisingly human

Re: This comment isn't true!

"You'll be needing a new technology to do something that makes me feel really inadequate."

Well, it seems like sexbots are already under develepment.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/09/06/should_humanity_hump_robots_serious_question_feature/

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2016/09/06/should_humanity_hump_robots_serious_question_feature/

Airbag bug forces GM to recall 4.3m vehicles – but eh, how about those self-driving cars, huh?

Re: Process is far too slow

See Fight Club, Edward Norton explaining "The Formula".

Assange returns to Earth

That's what they want you to think... And you fell for it...

Brit spies and chums slurped 750k+ bits of info on you last year

"... the most frequent error was caused by transposing the days and months when accommodating the American format of presenting the time."

This would we the cue for an inspired rant along the lines of "why the hell don't you use consistently freakin' ISO 8601, for God's sake", but it's late and I'm tired.

US Marine Corps to fly F-35s from HMS Queen Lizzie as UK won't have enough jets

Re: Stupid

You'd have to buy the crew as well. As has been discussed already in this thread, a Nimitz class carrier takes some 5,000 crew to operate.

Re: Ignorance in high places

Depends. Which Queen Elisabeth are we talking about?

Re: Airstrip One

Bournemouth, I think. According to my copy of H2G2 it's one of the most exciting places in the whole galaxy.

Re: They should save time...

USMC. Not USM. You know, the "Semper Fidelis" guys.

Now I'm thinking about Switzerland building aicraft carriers...

Re: US Marine Corps will be flying F-35Bs

"US Navy pilots - Bomb something? Fuck yeah!"

1. Never, ever tell a US Marine he's "Navy".

2. Never, ever call a US Navy Aviator a "pilot".

Self-stocking internet fridge faces a delivery come down

"Maybe it’s just me but I don’t reserve specific locations in my fridge for specific quantities of specific items of specific shape like I was some obsessive fucking psychopath."

Uh-oh. I think I need to see a shrink.

Re: kick from a cow

All cows want to be milked. It gets very painful for them if they are not milked on time.

Re: TI pocket calculator

Had one of those, same problem. Switched first to Casio programmables, then to HP and never looked back.

Florida Man's prized jeep cremated by exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7

Re: Austin Allegro

Only car with a better drag coefficient when driving in reverse...

BTW, a lot of delightful Austin Allegro references in the NCD/Jack Spratt novels by Jasper Fforde.

Is there paper in the printer? Yes and it's so neatly wrapped!

Re: Locked in?

Always have a crowbar in your toolbox.

Re: I think

Dunno about the computers, but from time to time the soft drinks machines at the White House change with the administration.

It's a Coca-Cola machine when the president is a Democrat and a Pepsi Cola machine when the president is a Republican.

Historical fun fact: Nixon was shilling for Pepsi when he was VP, he got Nikita Khrushchev to drink some at the American National Exhibition in Moscow, summer of 1959.

Ah, politics and soft drinks - maybe I'll write a paper on this when I've retired.

Re: exaggerated staff numbers

Apparently Borland* pulled a couple of stunts like that in their early days.

* Remember them? BTW, Philippe Borland was all set to work for HP, but couldn't because he couldn't get a green card/visum. So instead of becoming an employee he became an entrepreneur and started his own company; for some reason that wasn't a problem under US immigration laws. Yes, this was some time ago.

Re: irony

Obligatory* Dilbert cartoon.

* Yes. Read the small print in the forum rules.

United States names its first Chief Information Security Officer

Re: Information wants to be Free, so that Intelligence grows and creates New Orderly World Orders?

"Does Uncle Sam [...] presume to be in unilateral universal command and control of information and intelligence sharing and its mentoring and monitoring [...] ?"

Yes.

Next question.

Nah, Worf was cuter.

Top smut site stops Flashing, adopts HTML5

1

"When even the pornographers think you've got a problem, you've really got a problem"

Sub-heading of the week! Have a virtual pint, El Reg!

2

"Industry standard" - maybe it's just me, but whenever I hear that the hairs at the back of my neck sort of twitch.

Come in HTTP, your time is up: Google Chrome to shame leaky non-HTTPS sites from January

Re: @Stuart Moore - So, does this mean

"Think of all the people who are not as security literate as yourself but come here often because they like DevOps."

Thank you, Adam 1 - you just made my day (see icon)!

Kaspersky to 1337 haxors: take down our power grid. We dare you

So you want to play chess, do you?

IBM lifts lid, unleashes Linux-based x86 killer on unsuspecting world

Re: Awesome

I don't know whether this is the intended effect, but I find this rather helpful when making copies of something. Doesn't leave you puzzling (and shuffling paper) trying to determine whether that page is supposed to be blank or the copy machine fucked up again, especially on double-sided jobs.

Public masturbation not a crime declares Italy’s top court

That's not a proper Italian pizza in the picture.

Apple: Crisis? What innovation crisis? BTW, you like our toothbrush?

A new model every year? Reminds me of what the Big Three did from round about the mid-1950ies to round about the mid-1960ies. Now as then something that doesn't work that well in a market that's already pretty saturated.

Oh, and Apple's watch is pretty much like Ford's Edsel.

Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

Re: Any 27B/6 fans in?

From this day on, yes. Paul, thanks for bringing 27B/6 to my attention; please accept a virtual pint as a token of my appreciation.

Re: Steven Fry

Brilliant! I'd actually pay good money to watch that.

(As long as we both mean the same Mr Fry - his first name is Stephen.)

Re: Here's a novel idea

While I wholeheartedly agree, I'm not sure that it's the clouds that Apple needs to get their head out of.

Anyway: full marks for El Reg for keeping true form and on the ball!

You're guilty but broke, judge tells Wash.io – the 'Uber of laundry'

"Upstart is everything that's wrong with Silicon Valley"

And then some.

BTW, in this context it's "startup" - an upstart has actually achieved something.

Star Trek film theory: 50 years, 13 films, odds good, evens bad? Horta puckey!

Re: Abrams made it very clear his films were a different timeline

Pokémon generation? Those who were kids/teenagers in the mid-1990ies are well into their 40ies now.

Tesla driver dies after Model S hits tree

Re: A technology dilema

Firemen have a lot of experience with car crashes. And the resulting carnage.

Forget Khan and Klingons, Star Trek's greatest trick was simply surviving

Re: Best thing about it...

Well put. That's exactly how it was, is, and will be. Cheers!

Re: Huh?

For what it's worth - H. G. Wells wanted to call it "scientific romance".

Re: proof read?

Good point. I think it comes with having a biography instead of just a career.

Internet of Sins: Million more devices sharing known private keys for HTTPS, SSH admin

Friends don't let friends buy insecure IoT crap. Hmm. Did I just use a pleonasm?

UK Labour man Owen Smith: If you wanna be a leader, you gotta stop with that lens

"... it’s a perfect example of people being a huge security risk,” he added."

Keep people away from computers. Problem solved.

Sex is bad for older men, and even worse when it's good

Doesn't matter - had sex.

Re: Am I worried? Nah!

"Try everything at least once in your life, except incest and folk dancing."

Sir Thomas Beecham

It's time for humanity to embrace SEX ROBOTS. For, uh, science, of course

Obvious downside to sexbots: tech savvy people become extinct within two generations. And then what?