Posts by Dippywood

Seville: Famed for blue skies and now Blue Screens of Death

Obligatory Airplane: was Re: "Sevile"

Don't call me 'Shirley!'

Poop-peeping toilet attachment has a different definition of 'end-to-end' encryption

Am I the only one who thought

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE splash Arhhhhhh ?

Apply here to win a Microsoft Ugly Sweater. It's uglier than ever

Peak MS...

October 27th 1955...

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Gates)

Microsoft's lack of quality control is out of control

MS seem to have a habit of putting their foot in it - the leg-end that is their quality control.

VodafoneThree to offshore UK network jobs to India

'The merger was sold as “building Britain’s best network"'

That was a typo - it should have read “building Britain’s best notwork."

UK government says digital ID won't be compulsory – honest

"You never know, Palantir might even decide to get involved if that consultation meets its level of satisfaction and the contract is worth enough money."

No, no, no. Too many words - I suspect the correct form to be: "Palantir might even decide to get involved IF the contract is worth enough money."

VMware's in court again. Customer relationships rarely go this wrong

I doubt that there is any reflection at all...

DARPA’s Cylon raider autonomous fighter jet advances to next phase

Re: Refusing a bombing run

> Insert obligatory Dark Star reference here

Oh, alright, but this is the last time.

Before the megabit: A trip through vintage datacenter networking

Don't forget ARCNET

"In the late 1970s, wired local area network technologies emerged (Cambridge Ring, Token Ring, Ethernet)..."

What, no ARCNET? See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARCNET for a quick trip on the Token Bus...

China orders trial of aged care robots that can cook, clean, and provide emotional support

China orders trial of aged care robots

Am I the only one who read this and thought - Why, what have they done? What sort of trumped-up charges have they brought against them?

Instead of the 'death van' will they be collected by a scrap-merchant once found guilty?

WINE 10 is still not an emulator, but Windows apps won't know the difference

Fat Shaming

...which allow a single process to contain a mixture of Arm64 and x86-64 code...

Fat binaries rear their (ugly) heads once more

Microsoft confirms there will be no U-turn on Windows 11 hardware requirements

Obligatory

And don't call me Shirley!

Win a slice of XP cheese if you tell us where Microsoft should put Copilot next

Re: Order Order!

Just subject it to intelligence compression and let nature take its course...

Kyrten knows how.

And Christmas. Beats a reindeer sweater on the naff-o-meter.

Why be so cruel to Dabbsy? Take your punishment like a real person!

Combine with Recall

So that Recall can tell you, at length, why Recall is such a bad idea.

Judges not impressed by Amazon, SpaceX's attempt to have NLRB declared unconstitutional

Couldn't Land That One

The appeal seems to have undergone a RUD.

Virgin Media to stand up rival network operator to BT Openreach

Re: More BS from Vermin

"AFAIK BT's removed all the aluminium cable already"

Oh, but I wish that were true. There were standing orders to remove when found, but that program stopped, and my area is still lumbered with it.

Fragile, noisy and not suitable for (A)DSL or even FTTC - I'm stuck with Vermin until one of the FTTP solutions happens by, with Openreach having no published plans as yet.

Aluminium is the bane of my street.

Re: More BS from Vermin

The wonderful decision to use aluminium was, as far as I know, a GPO decision from the '60s (running into the '70s), driven by cost.

Universally recognised as a stooooooooopid idea...

Meta accused of enrolling undecided EU users in ad-sponsored platform

Like it will make any difference...

"Meta on Monday said it plans to ask EU users of Facebook and Instagram to make another choice: whether or not to share information across the two services."

What a wonderful track record Meta has for keeping its word on such things. Say 'yes', say 'no', they'll gobble your data anyway, just like they promised not to for WhatsApp.

Cutting-edge microscopy reveals bottled water has 'up to 100 times' more bits of plastic than previously feared

Peckham Springs

Don't tell Del - he'll market it as "Now with Added Plastic."

England's village green hydrogen dream in tatters

So it all turned out to be...

... just a pop in a test tube.

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

Re: Simples!

No it doesn't!

Trump is shown to be an android manufactured in Chi-na (thus explaining his awkward pronunciation of the name) with his 'brain' being shown to have been coded in APL- it was therefore write-only making bug fixes impossible. Over time, 'upgrades' were performed by simply adding layers of buggy code to the system until behaviour became more and more erratic.

TS Not BS

For the first time Truth Social will contain an irrefutably true fact.

NASA geeks code new tricks to model rocket plumes and avoid a lunar dust-up

Supersonic hot gas not that awesome for rocky, dusty surface?????

Just being picky, but how is 'supersonic' defined in vacuo ?

The inner pedant has escaped....

CompSci academic thought tech support was useless – until he needed it

The correct response...

... would be to proclaim loudly "You need a pee!"

Twitter now worth just a third of what Musk paid for it

Linda Yaccarino's GoFundMe Page

Would it raise $10K before that's all that Twitter is worth?

EU tells Twitter 'you can run but you can't hide' from disinformation policy

If they won't pay rent it's unlikely they'll pay any fines. A running strategy might actually work, at least in the short term...

US ban on China chip exports rebounds, causes 2,700 job losses

Re: Politics shouldn’t enter science and technology

Or, think of this, we could always license that jet engine stuff to them on the promise that they would only use such things for military purposes...

After all, they gave their word, didn't they?

Microsoft to stop accepting checks from partners

Some of our 'U's are missing...

I sure that it is only a matter of time now until some U's go missing, and certain words are Z-ised. That's Zed-ised, not Zee-ized, which would be wrong in at least two ways.

Intel finally takes the hint on software optimization

Been There, Seen That. Collect T-Shirt at Reception.

Around the early 2000's. Intel had a professional service division that offered exactly this service, as well as 'we will help you to migrate to Intel' and assorted other things.

Of course, this was not 'core business' and Intel Solution Services was wound up in 2008...

Systemd supremo Lennart Poettering leaves Red Hat for Microsoft

Re: The Opposite Of Defenestration

I'd go with fenestration.

Mars helicopter mission (which Apache says is powered byLog4j) overcomes separate network glitch to confirm new flight record

Re: I think we can consider this an air-gapped system

Indeed - the air itself is vacuum-gapped

Sorry Jeff...

...exploitation of the Log4j bug on Mars is a million to one..

With apologies to Jeff Wayne:

The chances of anything happening on Mars are a million to one, they said

The chances of anything happening on Mars are a million to one,

But...

Have you tried turning server cores off and on again? HPE wants to do it for you from GreenLake

Silicon-On-Demand

Too many cores for your wallet?

Ah, SOD it!

Miscreants started scanning for Exchange Hafnium vulns five minutes after Microsoft told world about zero-days

Re: Hobson's choice then!

...patch fast and then have your systems go down cos the supplier has burped out a bad patch.

Down == safe. Not the 'safe' you want, and possibly permanently 'safe.'

But safety first, recover what's left of the business later - it is the modern way.

How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash

The ' loopy Scot retro-wavers the Rezillos' are still using Stingray to announce themselves...

...the end of which can be heard at the very start of this: https://ianbmedia.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/good-sculptures-in-brighton-as-the-rezillos-zero-in-on-concorde-2/

Cybercrooks targeting UK organisations started 2020 strong only for attacks to wither away by Christmas

Already?

"Compromising every web-connected server and service you can find gets tiring after a while – and by the end of 2021 internet criminals targeting British companies were as fatigued as the rest of us"

I know that lockdown has distorted our sense of time, but the end of 2021? I missed it - how can that be?

Under that pile of spare keys and obsolete cables is an IoT device: Samsung pushes useful retirement project for older phones

At the risk of being boring...

https://galaxyupcycling.github.io shows another introduction - from 2017, no less.

It seems that the project has taken a little time to reach fruition...

Pork-tracking website problems add extra crackling to US-Taiwan-China tensions

On Monday, the FDA ’fessed up to an error

Pork Bork!

Ericsson warns investors: This Biden fellow coming into the White House may look to resolve China trade dispute...

...so far no evidence has come to light that proves Trump's assertions.

Now why does that sound familiar?

Hey, over here, I'm talking... Academics help computers figure out which way you're facing when you speak

"Which could be useful for AI assistants as they'll know whether you're barking orders at them or the kids or the TV"

What's the point, not one of the above will pay attention anyway!

Excel Hell: It's not just blame for pandemic pandemonium being spread between the sheets

Re: Ye Olde English Proverb

The 'tools' are normally management...

TikTok wins reprieve as judge rules it can stay in American iOS, Android app stores for now

....all while managing the most severe public health crisis in a century.

'...managing...' - really?

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

...won't be finished until April...

Which year?

England's COVID-tracking app finally goes live after 6 months of work – including backpedal on how to handle data

Re: (thanks to Cummings)

Make sure you drive to the test - and take the family along too...

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village

Stereotype Time

Openreach engineer, Michael Jones -> Openreach engineer, Jones the Broadband.