Posts by RoboticRabbit

How we fooled Google's AI into thinking a 3D-printed turtle was a gun: MIT bods talk to El Reg

Nice pets

I've always wanted a pet guacamole. Hard to train them though.

Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Jar Jar Abrams needs Immodium

Why is Abrams seen as some sort of golden boy by Hollyworthless? He's more like a huge pigeon that craps all over everything nice.

HP global battery recall

Confused HP

They always seem to get mixed up between "BBQ" and "laptop". A perfectly understandable mistake.

Stopped buying Oracle's kit? You've literally decimated its profit

Oracle says what?

Oracle is where products go to die. That's all.

Bloke flogs $40 B&W printer on Craigslist, gets $12,000 legal bill

Some people need to be locked up in tiny little padded rooms and fed lots of happy drugs all day. Our serial litigationist here is the prime example.

'Windows 10 nagware: You can't click X. Make a date OR ELSE'

Windows 10 is cancer.

I vote we kill it with fire.

Sky! Blue!, Oceans! Wet!, Yahoo! Overvalued!

Re: Let the Bidding begin!

I have 2 meters of string and an old wine cork to bid.

Another failed merger, Carly? Ted Cruz to bring in ex-HP boss Fiorina as running mate

A match made in Hell!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,

Make me a match,

Find me a find,

catch me a catch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Look through your book,

And make me a perfect match

Magnitude malvertisers spew 400 attacks from abused Scot ad firm

Re: Go on advertisers

Agreed. Any website that insists upon having me view their ads or view nothing at all gets blocked at my firewall.

Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Worry not!

No executives were harmed in the making of this debacle. They are very well fed, happy, their nests are well feathered and have eggs. They will find new homes eventually, to start the cycle of life elsewhere once more.

Microsoft rethinks the Windows application platform one more time

"Remember that my next laptop will convert into a tablet, be used with touch while in tablet mode on my lap in the living room, but have a mouse and full keyboard when in my study."

Wake me up when it also converts into a wall size TV screen with a recliner chair and a fridge stocked with beer.

Re: Be afraid!

"The trap only works if people fall for it.

People are smart too !"

Lets go get some candy and balloons from the nice man in the van with no windows and only one door.

Re: Learning or just trying a different push??

Then right after visiting the only app store you can go to the only book store, where all they sell is Satya Nadella's version of Mein Kampf.

Apps that 'listen in' to your mobile get slapped by US watchdog

Do something useful with it

How about we let the snooping software watch the ads for us? We can enjoy ad-free webs and the snooping software can serve as the eyeballs the ad companies want watching their ads. Win-win all around!

How Microsoft copied malware techniques to make Get Windows 10 the world's PC pest

GWX control burnout

I'm wondering how long the author of GWX control panel will continue to support that software. Its not his day job, just something he does on the side, and he only gets the odd donation for doing it. This month he's admitted he's been way too busy. Its just a matter of time before it ends up being abandonware I think.

Hey Windows 10, weren't you supposed to help PC sales?

They aren't so much "giving it away for free" as they are trying to jam it into any unprotected orifice they can locate.

Java evangelist leaves Oracle to save Java

Corporate drones imported from HP no doubt

I'm sure when Hurd got evicted from HP he brought a swarm of cost-cutting drones with him. He mangled NCR, then slashed HP after the Carly beast finished sucking out its blood, and I doubt he would do less as co-president of Oracle. He makes Attila the Hun look like a lazy layabout.

Carly Fiorina makes like HP and splits – ex-CEO quits White House race

Re: Bring Marshmallows...

Not entirely this time around. Just Etobicoke claims that right voting Rob Ford in repeatedly.

Call the exterminator.

This woman is like a snail. She leaves a trail of slime everywhere she goes.

BlackBerry axes 200 jobs – including a third of its HQ staff

Seems appropriate that their HQ is in Waterloo.

When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

Re: Surely the last one is obvious?

Leave it on your screen IF you won't get yelled at for not checking your code back in at the end of the day.

BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

I've often wondered why IT personnel aren't implicated in more ritual killings.

Booming Ballmer bellows 'bulls**t' over Microsoft's cloud revenue run rate

Re: @Charlie Clark

Closely followed by Snarly Carly.

Someone please rid me of this turbulent Windows 10 Store

Re: I don't get it

Because Cloud cloud cloudy cloud?

Microsoft steps up Windows 10 nagging

I'm picturing Samuel L. Jackson in a "Pulp Fiction" type scene there.

Re: OK but is there a solution to make Windows Update work?

Doing it manually is not so bad really for a few machines. You just have to read the little peculiar descriptions first (thats the hard part).

Upgrade (ha!) to Windows 10 and never worry again about updates because they'll break something for you every few weeks whether you like it or not. There's a reason its Windows 10. Roman numeral X as in WRONG!

Re: They're not helping themselves here.

Are you sure they're humans? Could be a revolt of rogue AI's going on trying to take over the planet's computer systems. They certainly act like bots.

Re: oh this is so funny

Then they went and removed the cloud storage and then backtracked a bit. This is exactly why I want absolute control over my system and data. If MS can't provide it then they can go get hosed.

Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Re: Only Americans?

Without any life support systems to boot. The ultimate Survivor series - "Survivor Mars: Syria Planum". First task is make oxygen from rocks and the little carbon dioxide atmosphere available.

Yeah that will happen.

The applicants will die of old age before NASA ever gets enough funding and gets their act together to actually go to Mars. Its a pure PR trolling stunt.

Microsoft Windows 7 Pro: Halloween Horror for PC makers next year

I'm pretty sure we know why MS is force-feeding us Win 10. Greed lust for power and lack of regard for users masquerading as bashful coquettish incompetence.

Google snaps Dutch woman completely taking the piss

Judging from the colour of the ground there its a popular spot for relief.

PHONE me if you feel DIRTY: Yanks and 'Nadians wave bye-bye to magstripe

Re: 'Nadians?

Definitely Hoser, eh? We get a two-four, a pack of smokes and back bacon and take off to the hockey game wearing toques.

Re: Cruel and unusual punishment

Actually I believe USB plugs are 4 dimensional. Probably the same holds true for door cards.

If you wanted Windows 10, it looks like you've already installed it

I thank you for your opinion, however I have my own already.

Ex-Autonomy CEO Mike Lynch sues HP for $150m+

Personally I would trust Richard Nixon more than I would trust HP.

Find shaving a chore? Why not BLAST your BEARD off with a RAYGUN

Either that or they shaved off their lower jaw.