* Posts by Prst. V.Jeltz

2971 posts • joined 17 Sep 2015

BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine

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Re: A little power

cos i dont trust it to turn the light out when i close the lid

I have the same problem with the fridge

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Re: A little power

The laptop should be named after the tag,

people who give ,e.g, science dept computers hostnames like "IsaacNewton" are asking for trouble.

so a Echo %computername% or at a push a win+pause will sort you out.

Its be worse if the tag was visible when laptop open , because then when working normally - on a docking station with real screens you'd have to open it , and it would freak out when you closed it again.

...dont get me started on tagging mobile phones.

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I was thinking " dont really have these problems now we're working from home"

Then read the description of the Mission Control / Bond Lair equipment and got jealous ....

I would drive 100 miles and I would drive 100 more just to be the man that drove 200 miles to... hit the enter key

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Re: Taken literally

I'm gonna start putting backspaces and arrows into peoples passwords

"Hi , yes your new password is Idiom123 , left , left , left ,backspace t"

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Re: cyber cafes

WTF? Cyber cafes stopped being a thing ~20 years ago.

yeah ok pedant , bad example :)

how about

Shared student house

Office computer

University Library

community Library

yo mommas computer

or are you suggesting there is no need to log out of things anymore ?

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are you sure (y/n)

This whole story is basically a version of when we turn away from one machine (patient) assuming it can get on with progressing some kind of repair based progress bar only to come back after the estimated time to see that it popped up a "are you sure" or other stupid question.

The absolute WORST example ive seen recently is the "log out" button on banking websites.

Whats the greater risk?

a) The user has pressed log out and that wasnt what they wanted to do , neccessitating an "are you sure?"

b) The customer presses log out and fucks off , leaving the machine unattended in the cyber cafe for the hovering shoulder surfer to pounce on a subbornly NOT logged out Machine!

it beggers belief.

i cant imaginr how much money is being stolen this way.

I'm looking at YOU Santander!

It's the end of the world as we know it, and we should feel fine

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We've fixed the problems. Not all of them, but the standards are settled, the memory and compute are more than adequate, the graphics as good as our eyes, and the software does what it's told. Like the dog chasing the car, now we've caught up and we're puzzled about what to do next.

Well , looks like we've finished!

hurrah , everyone can have the afternoons off now

Start or Please Stop? Power users mourn features lost in Windows 11 'simplification'

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Re: application launcher

they want to use their applications that run on Windows.

um, how are you goingto use those on your I.T. supported Linux?

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was about to post same .

the huge advantage a pc has over a smart phone is a big scree n and mouse abd keyboard to navigate with , and they want to cripple the pc via the menu, to take that functionality away!!

like the article says they tried that in W8 - fking disaster

why do it agian??

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Re: Widgets!

trouble is with customising all that shit is , you have to do it on multiople computers ,

then one one needs a rebuild , then you get a new one ,

or you borrow someones pc , or go to it to fix it

then they change the fking OS again ..

i just dont bother customising or id be continually doing it

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its not all bad

best thing about current W10 start menu:

you can search it just by typing and avoid havid to look / navigate its hideousness

worst thing:

its entirely fucking random wether you will be able to "attach to start menu" any given shortcut or file

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Re: Loss of the ability.....

Hands off my peanuts!

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Re: Windows 2000

start menu wise , yes i agree

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i dont care about the OS.

I've got visual studio and SSMS into the start menu , the multitude of comms apps we have to use into startup folder

dont need much else

when i do i use keyboard shorcuts or search the start menu to avoid having to navigate it

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Re: Soorry, no

yes , i was really delieghted when the task bar , both at home and at work decided to start broadcasting news and weather at me a couple of weeks ago.

its especially great when it produces a massive empty grey rectangle that covers the screen and wont move or go away until its decided what the temperature is at wherever it thinks i am.

Never Knowingly Underborked: Double trouble at Southampton's John Lewis

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" chaff system, which was running on Win95."

you have to be shitting me?

If it had to be Microsoft I'd rather run it on Dos 6 , loads quicker and a hell of a lot less to go wrong : )

Breaking Bad or just a bad breakpoint? That feeling when your predecessor is BASIC

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Re: The problem

Who said they were two different statements?

both tales might be those months.

just expressed two different ways... which is inconsistent and annoying

stick to yyymmdd !

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Checking the option would ensure the outputted binary was compatible with its predecessors.

Stuff like that is exactly what they never teach you in any kind of coding class .

You learn in a compiler or dev environment , see some output , learn the language , then .... class dismissed!

Please, no Moore: 'Law' that defined how chips have been made for decades has run itself into a cul-de-sac

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Re: That's a relief


I dont want to come over all "Bill gates" with his' 640k is enough for anyone' gaff

but by now surely we have enough!

So much computing power we invent bitcoin to for it to pointlessly slave over.

In the '80s, satellite comms showed promise – soon it'll be a viable means to punt internet services at anyone anywhere

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With traffic traversing thousands of miles under the sea, rather than tens of thousands of miles up to a satellite and back

The majority of satellites orbiting the Earth do so at altitudes between 160 and 2,000 kilometers.

So its about the same distance isnt it?

Ah, I see you found my PowerShell script called 'SiteReview' – that does not mean what you think it means

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Re: help?

My scripts dont need a /help or a /? because if you havent put the right parameters in the help comes up rather than an attempt at execution.

I try to think of all the things a user might do wrong , but i dont think i'd have seen this one coming.

what would you have had him put in his get-help section?

"not for porn sites" ?

Roger Waters tells Facebook CEO to Zuck off after 'huge' song rights request

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Re: Noddy Holder

I remeber my Dad saying that , in the early 80s sometime.

I'd imagine whatever tax benefit there was has long since been stripped away.

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Re: Not Now John

I was/am struggling to imagine what the angle would be using that song in "promotional material" for instagram

How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful

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Solution - bin all of that stuff and replace with laptop kept behind the tv

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my gf has a "sound bar" that absoluelty cant be operated without the flimsy remote.

I'd warn you about the brand but i forget it ...

Tesla owners win legal fight after software update crippled older Model S batteries

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Re: Carbon neutral

"Ice cars can be serviced by the owner reducing service costs to merely parts and tools."

well , thats a policy decision for the "right to repair" folk to battle out.

nothing to do with wether the vehicle is electric or not.

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Re: Carbon neutral


"You clearly know nothing about maintaining cars"

I know an awful lot about maintainnig cars ,

I have more time underneath a car than anyone here im willng to bet.

And i agree with that other guy

The work is in the engine, as is the maintenionace

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Re: Carbon neutral

"You do know that starting an engine is where the bulk of the wear occurs, right?"

People have always said that , I'm beginning doubt it .

A cold engine maybe.

A warm one stopped for 20 seconds at the traffic lights , effect on wear: less than negligble

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Re: Carbon neutral

In the UK at least, this has been standard on any fuel injected car since at least the '90s

True dat , I have 1990 Supra and the Air/fuel mix gauge i fitted because of the horrendous mpg it gets , shows no fuel being used when coasting in gear

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Re: Green vehicles...

I takes 9 barrels of Oil to manufacture a car .

Much as id like to believe that Landrover philosophy , i doubt it stacks up.

It is shocking however the age and condition of most cars sent to be scrapped these days, given that engines will do 200k miles easily , and bodywork no longer rots like it did in the 80s

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Re: Software Engineers

i've just ditched apple and returned to Android because all of a sudden my iphone was "too old" to order a beer in Wetherspoons.

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Re: Carbon neutral

I turn my truck off when at the traffic lights , the big junction anyway.

It takes fooookin ages to cycle round to green again , and having that big diesel engine hammering away , vibrating at low rpms makes it feel like its going to shake bits off the vehicle :)

Apple is happy to diss the desktop – it knows who's got the most to lose

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Re: "Apple is, after all, the professional’s platform"

Apple is for the people who work on making things look good

yeah , but its still a mystery to me why.

its not like a mac does anything a windows machine cant do.

in 1993 yes , but times have moved on a little since then.

The only thing about the situatution thats the same is the price differential.

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Thumb Up

That Harvard Guy's bio ....

Excellence. Quality. Science. These are just a few of the words that have been applied to the illustrious research career of James Mickens. In the span of a few years, James Mickens has made deep, fundamental, and amazing contributions to various areas of computer science and life. Widely acknowledged as one of the greatest scholars of his generation, James Mickens ran out of storage space for his awards in 1992, and he subsequently purchased a large cave to act as a warehouse/fortress from which he can defend himself during the inevitable robot war that was prophesied by the documentary movie “The Matrix.” In his spare time, James Mickens enjoys life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, often (but not always) in that order, and usually (almost always) while listening to Black Sabbath.

Man found dead inside model dinosaur after climbing in to retrieve phone

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Re: To die for a phone

maybe you should start by going to the Municipal Hall and ask for help ?

well , no

Each situation is different - it depends on the size and species of the model dinosaur , which vary wildy.

Same applies for any other location you drop your phone.

If I dropped it into a municipal flowerbed while photographing the flowers , id probly attempt to recover it myself before' going to the Municipal Hall and ask for help'

If however I accidentally dropped it into the Kola Superdeep Borehole (40,000ft) I'd probably not attempt to recover it myself.

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken

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Re: Three broken laptops.

"Electrician swore he wasn't at fault and charged a huge call out fee"

How the fuck did he get away with that?

What could he possibly say that would move the blame anywhere else?

Also they needlessy bought three more laptops off you?

where is this gravy train?

civil service?

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Re: Up time

its a bleedin fiddle!

that Microsoft pulling the same shit as the irritable user and lying: " of course ive turned it on and off"

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counterpart for those full of gorm?

you could say the same about my gruntle levels

Oops, says Manchester City Council after thousands of number plates exposed in parking ticket spreadsheet

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Re: Swiss number plates

insurance due for the most expensive of the set of vehicles.

Thats exactly the kind of logical common sense ive been waiting to come to this country .

never gonna happen

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Re: Swiss number plates

handbrake slips and the car rolls down the hill

whatta load crap - the owner is still responsible

I suppose the car might come alive too and start chasing people.

The reason its the car is to milk more money from customers.

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Re: Swiss number plates

I had a car insurance policy that covered me for any vehicle I owned

ah the good old days.

It wasnt really "Any vehicle you owned" - you were meant to keep them informed of any changes and theyd charge appropriately , or cancel

They just didnt want to be bothered issuing new certs when people change car

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Re: Swiss number plates

if any of those cars are classics - it may be possible to put them on a multiple vehicle policy

tried that: regular multi policy wont accept anything slightly unusal

So imagine my excitement when my "classic" insurer announced multi car and priomised they could insure the whole fleeet however weird and wonderful it is...

They found an excuse to exclude BOTH my classics somehow

one was not old enough and one was TOO old somehow ...

different rules for ladder chassied pickup , and moncoque sports car

I cant remeber the details appart from being absolutlely flabbergasted and losing the will to live

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the person who should be insured, not the vehicle!

and I have to pay insurance for each and every one.

and road tax! i'm only driving one at once!

...dont get me started !

The robbing cunts refuse to acknowledge that a NCB is proof of a good driving record by only letting you use it on one vehicle!

(excuse my language, thats one of a handful of times ive used that word in my entire life)

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all good reponses , and lets not forget , all those things can happen becasue the dvla do indeed hand these details out to Tom ,Dick and possibly Harry

'Biggest data grab' in NHS history stuffs GP records in a central store for 'research' – and the time to opt out is now

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Re: Not that hard to fill in a form

If you don't know how to put text and a signature into a pdf, why not spend a few minutes finding out rather then composing an angry response on this forum about how printing and scanning is all too difficult.

Its more a question of wether the person recieving the modified pdf , as opposed to scannedpdf.jpg

will accept its authenticity.


why even ask for a signature?

to prove its you?


why does nobody get this yet?

we know all about passwords now - The KEY fact being its checked against the copy on file

this just DOES NOT happen with a signature

We even bolster the password system more with hashes and 2FA

...And yet when it comes to the really important stuff , like buying houses , or wills , or Power of Attorny

we chuck all that out of the window

and regress to the primitive

"Make yer mark here sunny...

... iffen you dont do the riting , you can just put a X"

(forcing us to all dig our printers out and go through this utterly pointless rigmarole , often having to post the paper to people for them to scrawl on it)


Chinese rocket plunges into Indian Ocean, still lands sharp rebuke from NASA

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Re: Relieved

I dont think astronomer Jonathan McDowell was trying legitimise the idea of letting space junk fall randomly , he was assuring people that this wouldnt be a tsunami inducing extinction event when it lands, which no doubt a large number of people were thinking.

Accidentally wiped an app's directory? Hey, just play the 'unscheduled maintenance' card. Now you're a hero

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"to screw up completely requires a computer..."

On a remote site , i borrowed a colleagues laptop and needed to get / update some files on laptop for the job at hand .

I thought a Robocopy / MIR might do the trick nicely.

The thing with /MIR is if you dont get your path exactly right every file in the destination folder becomes the enemy.

A sinking feeling was rapidly growing as a saw an unexpectedly large amout of deletions scrolling past.

The thing was ripping through the win\system32 folder like a cancer, gutting the OS.

After a hasty Ctrl-C the machine managed to stay alive for few minutes like a wounded soldier riddled with bullets, before passing away.

I was pretty red faced as we knocked off for the day. I bought the after work pints and rebuilt the machine next day.

The Wight stuff: Marconi and the island, when working remotely on wireless comms meant something very different

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I thought there might be mention of

"The Morse code message that rebooted WWII resistance - 80th anniversary Thursday, May 6, 2021 6:30 PM 7:30 PM "

at the National Meseum of Computing TODAY



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