* Posts by Prst. V.Jeltz

2681 posts • joined 17 Sep 2015

Maybe there is hope for 2020: AI that 'predicts criminality' from faces with '80% accuracy, no bias' gets in the sea

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: 5 violent burglars on a BBC one programme yesterday and they all had "the look@

All the lesbians i know have ex husbands and children

(2 of , now married to each other)

With intelligent life in scant supply on Earth, boffins search for technosignatures of civilizations in the galaxy

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Evidence?

Surely the thing to look for is (the original plan A) radio transmissions that are opbviously intelligently created? these will be beaming out from the planet , so more easily detected than measuring the amoutnof poluution , or the amount of fast food joints.

When we start recieving Alien Allie McBeal ...

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Reminds me of a song

"Especially the last line of the lyrics of this one"

Without looking imma gonna guess thats the Eric Idle universe song , the last line being

"Theres bugger all down here on earth."

wuz i right?

Faxing hell: The cops say they would very much like us to stop calling them all the time

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: I mourn the fax machine

This really grinds my gears. There ibsolutley no reason for anyone to queue on a phone line . they could ring u back in the order people called them , but thats another story.

What i really resent is that big utility companies dont have a "Ticket" system where you can log your beef , by typing in a form , they get round to looking at it then transfer the conversation to you to read their reply and react , and so on , back and forth.

simple. Like we do in I.T all the time.

Instead the closest you get are these stupid chat bots that after an hour of chatting advise they are powerless to do anything becasue thay arnt sure its you , so someone will call you on the phone - which they dont

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Fax will never die!

good points. People keep touting fax as "secure" , but it isnt really.

The only saving grace is I reckon you'd have to be in the vicinity of the sender or reciever to tap the line, whereas with email you could be anywhere .

It reeks of "Security by obscurity"

Anybody with a mind to could find a business they know is receiving a lot of card details or whatever by fax , fit a tap on the line and leave an automatic harvest running for months

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Fax will never die!

" to pay most of the monthly bills"

how the hell does that work??

You fax them a copy of some £10 notes? :)

no , seriously , who , how ?

Apart from just faxing your card details to some machine ...

how does that work?

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Fax will never die!

Amazing, presumably due to cushy govt / educayional contracts there was wasnt any need to compete , innovate ,modernise, provide usable software or any of that tricky stuff

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Been on the receiving end before.

good thinking!

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: I used to repair fax machines...

I had to support fax machines , along with the pcs, right up to a couple of years ago.

Out of the hundreds of calls there was rarely anything wrong , it was always them dialling the wrong number , or the other number not answering OR in fact the other number not sending.

People just dont realise they are making a phone call , and there are some easy diagnostics they can do themselves, like "does that number look like a phone number???" or try ringing it from a normal phone.

Although , in the user's defence , I once saw a hideous looking error on the little LCD , totally incomprehensible jargon , that after some googling i discovered meant "out of paper"

Folk sure like to stick electric toothbrush heads in their ears: True wireless stereo sales buck coronavirus trends

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

maybe you should try the ones AC above suggests:

" You can get magnitudes more battery life with non "true" ones that have a wire between the earbuds."

Then you can clothes peg them to your collar for security.

I've never liked any of these devices as i dont like being out of sync with the surrounding environment, not hearing local noises , and singing loudly and unconsciously at anyoner in the vicintity

Might have to get some in an attempt to eliminate feedback in zoom/whatsapp chats etc

PC printer problems and enraged execs: When the answer to 'Hand over that floppy disk' is 'No'

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Ah IT 'managers'

i guess he's only worried if someone upstream finds out

Health Sec Hancock says UK will use Apple-Google API for virus contact-tracing app after all (even though Apple were right rotters)

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: I heard a rumour

i thought they got this "nhsx" to do it . are they nhs or brotherco?

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

there a time thing too.

"within 2 metres for more than 30 seconds" , or is it 30 minutes"

Either way if it was me the speed i walk through town , thered be no triggers

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Why not?

The Politicain I heard on radio 4 , explaining why they were "shelving" it didnt seem to even understand what it was for.

"We found from the trial in the isle of wight that people wouldnt listen to an alert on their phone , so we shelved the app and now we have the phone call system"

Great! now you've got a friendly human voice and no actual contact tracing data save for the vague guesses of some of the infected people.

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: NHSX devs apparently superior to Google devs

Where did you read all that? how does the phone know if its lost? is there such a thing as low power bluetooth? does that mean my phone is constantly on the lookout for lost iphones?

Thats not my experience of it , at best it seems to say - well last time the phone bothered checking in it was *here* , and at worst "I forgot"

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

You mean how it can think that your in contact with your neiebour even though theres a wall between you?

Yes i've thought about that.

I'm kind of the "every little helps" school of thought.

Whereas everybody else seems to be of the "if we can think of one single disadvantage ranging anywhere from 'its impossible' to 'i dont like the colour' then the whole things a non starter.

imagine this:

Sherlock homes: "Commisioner , i have detected the killer has only one leg due to his gait"

Commisioner: "Plenty of non killers have one leg too so fuck off Holmes"

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

not everyone who has a smartphone can be arsed to carry it everywhere

I cant be arsed to go to work , or do the washing up , but i do for various reasons.

Fighting an outbreak of a contagious disease is like fighting a war , in that it requires a soupcon of co-operation (or coercion) from the populace.

Sitting at home bitching saying things like "well what if I dont want to carry a phone" is not the attitude!

If i were in charge i would implement this simple solution:


"Cant / wont / too lazy / too obtuse to get yourself a smartphone ?


Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Even if the actual government contact tracers call, how are you supposed to answer their questions?

As a techie i find it staggering the the govt appears have just given up on a tracing "app" and just said , "nah we'll just get a load of people with telephones and if anyone gets it we'll ring them up and see if they can remember who they went near to."

This was technology's time to shine .

Then again it would never have worked looking at the comments underneath the news stories about it.

People seem to think if they use the app they'll be rounded up and shot.

It wasn't just a few credit cards: Entire travel itineraries were stolen by hackers, Easyjet now tells victims

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Stelios & EGM


Chicago: Why I just grin like a dork... It's my kind of Bork

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
Paris Hilton

"If it is the error we think it is, then it gets thrown when all available connections are in use"

yeah, i thought that too

Beer gut-ted: As many as '70 million pints' spoiled during coronavirus pandemic must be destroyed in Britain

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: K'in eejets.

I know right?

huge marketing blunder , a lot of people avoid "lite" beer for fear of not getting enough alcohol

No one seems to realise its about the calories

Mirror mirror on the wall, why will my mouse not work at all?

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: obvious

so clearly had both the chops to piece together a home PC and the experience helping others fix tech over the phone."

Maybe the former , but obviously not the latter. Its a totally different skill

The end really is nigh – for 32-bit Windows 10 on new PCs

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Amazed it took them this long

I dont think the reason is the PC , there CANT be many 32 bit laptops left , more likely people , probly even in industry have installed 32 bit on newer hardware out of some paranoia about compatitbility

Driveway karaoke singer who wanted to lift lockdown spirits cops council noise complaint

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: It's about choice

he has, according to the articve

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: One song is too much

I put up with other people's shit in the expectation that they will put up with shit I might enjoy. It's about balance, tolerance, equability, reasonableness and compromise.

The cure ->

"No Jason , its Madness this week."

Been waiting 30 years for the correct setup line for that quote.

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: One song is too much

Ted, who is also accused of playing "You'll Never Walk Alone" during happy-clappy time on Thursdays

"You'll Never Walk Alone" !

Isnt there something about that in the Geneva Convention?

DBA locked in police-guarded COVID-19-quarantine hotel for the last week shares his story with The Register

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: What a shit hole

heat tho!

Dosent warm weather kill this virus? i think i read that .

if so , it dosent stand a chance in Oz

Singapore releases the robot hounds to enforce social distancing in parks

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Picture discrepancies.

That snakes head looked absolutly horrifying , doubly so when it turns out to be retractable.

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: "Spot the robot dog"

see Spot run!

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: I'm so angry I can't think

methink you windows is not set up very well by your company software slingers.

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

bin there

Microshaft !

On the other hand , its a bit old , predictable , boring and childish.

Ex-Imagination Technologies boss tells UK Foreign Affairs Committee: Britain needs to stop overseas asset stripping

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Britain needs to stop overseas asset stripping

I thought this was going to have something to do with the British Museum when i read the title

What's worse than an annoying internet filter? How about one with a pre-auth remote-command execution hole and there's no patch?

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: It wouldn't make the slightest difference.

indeed, but you failed to correct me on pedestal


Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: It wouldn't make the slightest difference.

ok , dont get up on your pedal stool , it was a bit of a damp squid after all.

Google is a 'publisher' says Aussie court as it hands £20k damages to gangland lawyer

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Things go into the public record . fact . end of story. for better or for worse . you cant start editing it.

With no google and no internet , there would still be microfiches of newspapers detailing all kinds of things.

see also Barbara Streissand

Lars Ulrich makes veiled threats of another Metallica album during web chat with Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Most bands are in it for the money

Well ,you gotta admit he was , technically , right about it being theft.

you wouldnt steal a policemens helet and then shit in it would you?

Home taping is killing music.

oo not heard that debate in a while , i guess cos the music industry did change , and now you can legally access a lotta music a lot cheaoper with spotify , youtube , and paisd download of single song.

People come up with all kinds of excuses for music and video privacy , normally

waaaah: its a ripoff , its too expensive , so i'll copy it.

Funny how with items you cant replicate with a cd writer , you've suddenly got money for.

Like those £100 Nikes

Nine million logs of Brits' road journeys spill onto the internet from password-less number-plate camera dashboard

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Another shining example of glorious modern technology being used to keep track of where everywhere is and fight crime!

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Massive invasion of privacy

Surely that means mass surveillance is ok, if the left and the greens are fine with it?

Royal Navy nuclear submarine captain rapped for letting crew throw shoreside BBQ party

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: I think the real cause for disciplinary action....

nobody outside was ,thats the point

Elevating cost-cutting to a whole new level with million-dollar bar bills

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

in order to itemise a customer's bill and point the finger of guilt at who ordered the wine and which greedy so-and-so had three starters.

I cant wait for the day this happens.

Restaurants are supposed to be about service , so why cant they do something about the awkward scrabbling around to get the bill together, even if you are splitting it evenly its difficult.

Ideally everyone would swipe a cashcard on the way IN then , eat whatever they want, get billed appropriately and piss off at the end without waiting around for the bill and then discussing it for 30 minutes whilst missing last orders at the pub across the road

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

The curse of RS-232 strikes again in part two of our serial series

Was that last word necessary?

Iran military manages to keep a straight face while waggling miracle widget that 'can detect coronavirus from 100m away'

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Oh ye of such little faith

My Elephant detectors working fine too, going from results so far ...

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: you may laugh

reasonable until the scientists analysed it and proved that it had occurred naturally

Looking for a tech job? Have a browse – there are plenty of roles in our biggest listing yet

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Employers seek devs, support, and engineers all over the world

ok , i think i know what a dev is.

Whats an engineer?

and why isnt a "support" an engineer?

Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Apropos of nothing...


"its funny cos its true" has never been truer ,

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Sales

its not so much how as why.

i'd try twice.

then try it with a /? at the end (which would work if id written it)

then either give up or look for the code behind it

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
Thumb Up


I'm sold!

Sounds better than a normal pizza, which i only keep in the freezer for emergencies

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Re: Savagery?

Clockwise or Anticlockwise?

Coronavirus lockdown forces UK retailers to shut 382 million square feet of floor space

Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

Analytics house GlobalData has calculated that British retailers have shut 382 million sq ft of floor space since the UK's coronavirus lockdown on 23 March, causing a £14.5bn drop in sales – though it claims that equates to roughly £200 of delayed or cancelled spending per each local.

This is fantastic news! people are at last being forced to see that they dont have to constantly buy shit off the high street , and then put their old shit in big bags and take it to the 'poor people' dumpster at the supermarket, or worse the recycling centre


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020