* Posts by Commswonk

1777 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Sep 2015

Salon told to change ad looking for 'happy' stylist because it 'discriminated against unhappy people'

Commswonk

Unfortunately...

...I cannot find a video of Monty Python's Lumberjack sketch with the opening sequence in a barber's shop, only the later song section.

However, I did manage to find a copy of the script; I hope commentards (or at least those old enough!) will be able to conjure the original up from memory.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/barber.php.

Isn't nostalgia wonderful...

Anyone else noticed that the top countries for broadband speeds are well-known tax havens? No? Just us then?

Commswonk

Lies... Damn Lies...

Statistics... and Internet Speeds.

I have all but given up on using a speedchecker here for the simple reason that the results returned by different speedcheckers vary wildly; not just by 1 or 2 % but anything up to >40% (IIRC). Different checkers seem to carry out tests from widely different locations; living in Lancashire I can cope with a server in Preston but Amsterdam? (Yes that really happened once. A test this morning was more local with Sheffield at the other end)

I know that in many respects it shouldn't matter that much with my FTTC probably being the limiting factor (wifi not used to this PC) but it is difficult to regard any given result as "reliable".

With a million unwanted .uk domains expiring this week, Nominet again sends punters pushy emails to pay up

Commswonk

Re: Competence? We've heard of it.

... it gradually became clear that what we thought was incompetence was, in fact, just greed and malice in more or less equal measure.

Interesting, as this illustrates a clear case where Hanlon's Razor does not apply. I will have to spend some time phrasing Commswonk's Exception correctly. Something like If (a) the internet, and (b) money, are involved then skullduggery is more likely than fuckwittery. Might need a little work to make it more widely palatable.

Dell: 60% of our people won't be going back into an office regularly after COVID-19

Commswonk

Re: I would hate to own commercial real estate

Cost of being a commercial landlord is the cost of interest = bugger_all% for the next few years

Er... not quite. There is the small matter of having to pay off the Principal as well, not just the interest on it. If your tenants have bailed out and your income has fallen markedly then you might find yourself defaulting on the loan that you used to buy the building in the first place.

And if the landlord is directly or indirectly a Pension Fund, what then?

Commswonk

Re: Extroverts hate it

Remember that extroverts recover from stress and get their energy by interacting with people face to face.

Leaving the "other people" praying for an early death, most likely as a result of all the oxygen being sucked out of the room.

Commswonk

Re: I get I'm in a microscopically small minority, but...

We have a lady on our floor who was a "talker" and I would hate to see what throughput she had during the average day.

I suddenly remembered this; an obligatory Dilbert:

https://dilbert.com/strip/1993-04-18

Commswonk

Re: I would hate to own commercial real estate

Time to look at how best to convert it to residential.

Well maybe... just maybe. In city centres income per square (unit of choice) for commercial purposes will be far greater than that generated by using the same building for residential purposes, particularly if there is a stipulation for "affordable" rent. As a result a building that is paying for itself by virtue of commercial use (and very possibly supporting a pension fund in the process) will not pay for itself (or the pension fund) when used as accommodation.

Now add into that unfortunate fact of the (probably quite high) cost of conversion from commercial to residential use and we finish up with a hopelessly uneconomic building. IMHO a change of use is only superficially attractive; in the longer term the financial reality is that there would be that there would be far more losers than winners.

The next few years could be rather bumpy for us all, including those for whom WFH seems like an instant win with no downside.

Huawei mobile mast installed next to secret MI5 data centre in London has 7 years to do whatever it is Huawei does

Commswonk
Coat

Re: Redacted

Or the spooks may be ok with the idea because they've done a risk assessment and decided it's not.

And that it's all a Storm Tempest in a Teacup.

Xi Jinping again urges China to home-grow more ‘core’ tech, faster

Commswonk

Re: @Commswonk - That's a Bit Rich...

If I read it correctly, it's not Chinese carriers close to US waters, it's the other way around.

You aren't reading it correctly, and I suspect deliberately. I am not disputing that US carriers are in the South China Sea, but that is International Waters that the Middle Kingdom is trying to annex by building artificial islands. Any US or other western naval presence is to remind Beijing that it has no right to spread its borders and thus threaten other countries in the region. And yes, Taiwan is another country. IIRC the UN has ruled on the status of the South China Sea, but as far as I can see China is more or less ignoring that ruling.

Having some difficulties with geography makes me think you might be a proud citizen of the greatest democracy on the planet.

I am not having any difficulties with my geography; neither am I a US citizen; you are wrong on both counts.

I await your response once your government has told you what it is.

Commswonk

That's a Bit Rich...

From the Article: State-owned organ China Daily characterised one such skirmish - TikTok suing to avoid a US ban - as “gunboat diplomacy”. ®

Given what the Chinese are reportedly attempting in (I think) the South China Sea that accusation comes into the category of "pot calling kettle black". The only difference is that the Chinese are likely to use real gun - boats.

Be very afraid! British Army might scrap battle tanks for keyboard warriors – report

Commswonk

Hahahahahahahahahahaha....arrrgh.... <Thud>

A bridge too far: Passengers on Sydney's new ferries would get 'their heads knocked off' on upper deck, say politicos

Commswonk

Re: Thinking outside the box

The Goon show called it 65 years ago:

Can I include Little Jim with...

He's fallen in the water.

Seems a pity to miss him out, given the subject.

50%+ of our office seats are going remote, say majority of surveyed Register readers. Hi security, bye on-prem

Commswonk

Re: Not here

The Director wants to see people working

Perhaps this represents the dropping of a penny; if people are working productively from home then it is just possible that the organisation (whatever it may be) doesn't require quite so many managers as was previously thought.

What? Fewer Managers? Unthinkable!! Get everyone back at their desks!!

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

Commswonk

Tea Junction?

Perhaps; I was wondering "saucery", resulting in a Magic Roundabout.

Pass that Brit guy with the right-hand drive: UK looking into legalising automated lane-keeping systems by 2021

Commswonk

Re: Automated Lane Keeping Systems (ALKS)

The government is seeking to permit the technology on roads with speed limits up to 70mph (112kph).

The Day Common Sense Died.

UK govt reboots A Level exam results after computer-driven fiasco: Now teacher-predicted grades will be used after all

Commswonk

I have come across three business cards from Principle Engineers in my career..

Shirley you don't want engineers to be unprincipled? That would make them politicians...

Commswonk

Re: The problem

Worse, we're led by idiots who don't know they are idiots.

Dunning Kruger effect, methinks. The "See Also" at the bottom of the Wikipedia page on the subject is interesting, in a rather frightening sort of way.

Commswonk

It's almost as if trying to award people grades without any solid evidence is a really hard problem.

Given that Grades are based on a range of actual marks I cannot see how anyone can regrade a candidate without starting with the marks originally awarded or in this case estimated. For some the loss of a single mark will result in dropping a grade, for others it might require that 10 marks be deducted.

Perhaps one needs a PPE for everything to make sense; the whole thing is something of which Kafka would have been proud.

Commswonk

Is there anything that the successive governments of the UK can not fuck up by bloody useless software ?

Do you really need to ask that question?

If yes then the answer is NO

Struggling company pleads with landlords to slash rents as COVID-19 batters UK high street. The firm's name? Apple

Commswonk

Re: My heart bleeds

Proving the fact that Apple can be petty and selfish. It would cost waaaay more to relocate than the few months diminished income via shops. It takes lots of moohlah to build an Apple Store. Just accept you have been told "No" and move on.

Normally a shop will determine its financial viability on the basis of income per square foot* and on whether that figure is rising or falling for any particular location. Given that Apple stores are more places of worship than trading posts they are more likely to be cost centres than profit centres, so I suspect that Apple is simply pushing its luck here.

* Other measures are available, or so I am informed

No wonder Brit universities report hacks so often: Half of staff have had zero infosec training, apparently

Commswonk

University of York!

Whereas all the others are at the University of Bork, I daresay.

UK.gov admits it has not performed legally required data protection checks for COVID-19 tracing system

Commswonk

History Repeats Itself...

IIRC Matt Hancock came up with an App for something some time ago and was roundly ridiculed for his efforts because of some glaring security blunder. He, of all people, ought to have known better than to play fast and loose with personal data collected in the name of Covid - 19.

On a not entirely unrelated point it would be interesting to see the results of some decent research carried out by qualified psycologists into why those who rise to the top of the dungheap that is politics are such complete fuckwits. It seems to be an inescapable truth.

Commswonk

Re: But of course

Do you seriously think it would have been any different under the Corbynistas?

I came on to say the same thing but found that you had beaten me to it. However, the point is so relevant that I feel that repeating it here is worthwhile.

IMHO a Corbynist government would have been an even bigger disaster.

Trump gloats, telcos weep, and China is furious: How things stand following UK's decision to rip out Huawei

Commswonk

Re: NSA Backdoors in Cisco and Juniper kit?

Can Boris and Donald spell "hypocricy"?? Clearly not!

Shame that you couldn't either...

Don't make any sudden moves: Huawei urges UK government to wait before declaring it 'unreliable'

Commswonk

It will be interesting to see what uniform DC has designed for him.

Should that not have read:

It will be interesting to see what uniform DC has designed for himself.

GCHQ's cyber arm report on Huawei said to be burning hole through UK.gov desks

Commswonk

Re: Can't have the Chinese take over from US spying, old chap

It appears Downing Street has yet again been played by the Americans. It's like an infection you just cannot shake.

Probably true, and if so it's a truth that I regret. However, I would still see it as the lesser evil by quite a large margin.

Commswonk

Re: Can't identify the smell

However, from Snowden's leaked papers we know that the 'merkin spooks have inserted back doors into exported Cisco kit. So they're no better. Nokia, who knows?

A perfectly fair point, but IMHO the present situation regarding Huawei is only a small part of the much greater problem of actual or potential Chinese influence being to the detriment of wider British interests. Any involvement of foreign interests in the UK is there because the foreign interests see it as being to their benefit rather than ours, much the same as if I buy shares in company X it is on the basis that I hope that in the long term it will benefit me.

Shame we don't have our own hardware capability really. Past gov. policy was to favour the finance industry gamblers over manufacturing though.

Just stop thinking about the companies that the UK used to have; it's simply too depressing for words. If the names still exist it is only for the purpose of Badge Engineering. I think the way British electronic manufacturing has disappeared down the drain should be seen as a mark of shame.

<sniff>

Commswonk

Re: If only

If only we had some sort of committee that could be convened to handle matters like this.. an Intelligence and Security Committee if you will.

Well yes, quite. However, any advice or "decision" from that committee would still be based on input from others; it has not, and could not have, and independent intelligence - gathering capabilities of its own.

On top of that, the I & S C is made up of politicians, and by all accounts many of those suspected of being "captured" by Middle Kingdom interests are current or one - time, er, politicians.

As a simple member of the public I expect a British government to make sure that it puts British interests ahead of those of any other country, and at the moment I worry that that may be far from the case.

UK.gov announces review – not proper inquiry – into Fujitsu and Post Office's Horizon IT scandal

Commswonk

presumably there needs to be some investigation into who knew what before criminal charges can be brought because at the moment nobody really knows who should be prosecuted?

Perfectly true, but that investigation must be carried out by trained investigators with possible suspects interviewed under caution; a "review" is likely to fog the issue, and indeed gives the suspects the opportunity to fog it.

Just look at the way Grenfell was/is going, with the next batch of participants wanting (and IIRC getting) immunity from prosecution on the basis of what they reveal to the enquiry.

Commswonk

Re: Sigh of Relief

Paula Vennells will be praising god on this decision.

I would like to think that God will find some way of reminding Paula Vennells of the Ninth Commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness...

Quite what form that reminder might take I don't know.

Commswonk

The first things should be (a) any criminal prosecutions against the Post Office and/or Fujitsu and/or members of staff responsible...

OK; IANAL but IMHO the Post Office & if appropriate Fujistu should be on the receiving end of a criminal prosecution for Malicious Prosecution, and the responsible individuals (as opposed to the bodies corporate) be on the receiving end of appropriate punishments.

The prosecution of the sub - postmasters was pursued in the face of mounting evidence that something was wrong with Horizon but they pressed on regardless, even to the point of shutting down a formal enquiry that they themselves instigated when it was becoming obvious that the findings were turning out to be unfavourable to their case and even trying to get the trial judge to recuse himself because he seems to have spotted what was going on.

Paula Vennells CBE "for services to the Post Office" should be put under immediate review because she headed up a course of action that actually brought the Post Office into serious disrepute.

The government is the PO's sole shareholder and I have a strong suspicion that its proposed "review" is intended to prevent any serious investigation into the action that was taken, not facilitate it. At the same time, of course, it is allowing soldiers who served in NI during the troubles to be harried for events that took place 40 years ago with prosecutions being a distinct possibility as a result.

The sub - postmasters deserve better than this; in fact we all do. Much better.

The UK's favourite lockdown cheese is Big and Red but doesn't require a stinking great audit after consumption

Commswonk

Re: Cheddar why?

Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player

Just in case anyone is wondering how a bouzouki player got into the discussion, here is why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1JWzyvv8A.

Memories... memories...

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

Commswonk

a more meaningful and longer interaction

Sounds very like some sort of euphemism to me. In which case "I should be so lucky..."

Commswonk

Re: Unhearing government

@Lotaresco: "Supporting ministers’ priorities, enabling effective operation of public services and improving people’s lives." Either it's not very good at its job or it's not consulted for these mass-communication efforts.

OR (and IMHO much more likely) data security and the minimisation of the risk to the public from contact - tracing based scams simply isn't a ministerial priority. Why would this application be an exception?

Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Commswonk

Oh No Surely Not...

In a decidedly low-tech scheme, the plan is for those testing positive for COVID-19 to get phone calls from NHS tracers, who will ask them who they have been in contact with.

AIUI the "NHS tracer" will not tell you who it is that you have been (or may have been) in contact with that has reported developing symptoms. On the strength of that you are supposed to tell the "NHS tracer" the names and contact info for any others with whom you have been in contact since.

Put another way any 'phone call from an "NHS tracer" has to be taken at face value without any obvious means of verifying that the caller is indeed an "NHS tracer".

OTOH anyone claiming to be from my bank has to be ignored along with any other caller with suspect credentials.

No wonder the Health Secretary was laughing...

TWAT

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

Commswonk

Re: Can't beat this

I heard about this years ago and assumed it was made up.

Quite understandable that, but read on...

On another occasion a highly experienced (Police) Driving Instructor was driving away from <redacted> and failed to take a fairly gentle bend in the road and finished up in a ploughed field.

Thereafter said bend was known locally as <Redacted>'s Corner. I don't know what the outcome of the investigation was although I do know who carried it out.

On yet another occasion there was a disgreement between a Dog Van (no canine occupant at the time) and another vehicle at a clearly marked and properly signed crossroads with clear lines of sight which the driver of the dog van seems to have ignored. Sadly I don't think I can expand on that story because to get the full flavour of it I would have to reveal the location and other factors that add to the overall entertainment value and those would identify the Police Force in question.

Commswonk

Not Just a Maritime Problem

Once upon a time, many years ago, I worked for <redacted> Police. One Saturday night a patrol vehicle did a check on a car park that was completely deserted except for (a) the patrol vehicle and (b) a single, solitary car parked more or less in the middle.

Do I really need to say what happened?

Well anyway; happen it did, to the merriment of about 3500 people with the certain exception of the Officer who was driving the car at the time.

Openreach boss denies BT selling stake in UK's national broadband plumber

Commswonk

Re: Cash in before the collapse

It's a shame I can't work out if you're joking or ignorant.

I think it's the latter, given that the AC in question doesn't seem to know that Macquarie is Australian, not American.

Commswonk

Warning: Weasel Alert...

From the article: ...BT Group CEO Philip Jansen saying: "On separating out of Openreach in terms of looking at the value of that as an individual entity, I mean, the answer is 'not now'.

Not now is not quite the same as No, is it?

UK housing association Places for People hands £21m to Salesforce to look after CRM and job scheduling

Commswonk

Eventually you get to treat this sort of thing as a warning sign.

I suddenly remembered this Dilbert: https://dilbert.com/strip/1993-06-16

Commswonk

My Eyes, My Eyes...

...designed to simplify the "operating landscape to be supported by an enabling integrated property management solution."

When oh when is someone going to develop an add - on that strips "management documentation" of such self - evident bollocks?

A burst of hysterical laughter from the perpetrator's loudspeakers (fitting thereof to be mandatory) for the first offence followed by the same laughter from every other employee's speakers (with a pop - up to identify the guilty) if any offending text is not removed by the next "save".

Somehow the idea of the above makes me feel better...

As nice as Pai: FCC chairman comes out in favour of Ligado Networks' 5G proposal, despite criticism from airlines and military

Commswonk

Re: F*** the f-ing military.

However, a fair attempt. Please take note for further improvement.

You forgot the See Me.

Ex-TalkTalk infosec exec's equal pay and unfair dismissal claims tossed out at tribunal

Commswonk

They effectively dropped in a Project Manager, to lead up their SecOps team

I came on to say much the same thing, although I would not have said "effectively" because that's exactly what they did. In fact the move proved to be ineffective.

Square Peg meets Round Hole.

Again.

India allows half of IT services workers back to the office next week

Commswonk

Here's hoping...

.. that it's not the half that work for the Technical Department of Windows.

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much

Commswonk

Re: "#MeToo"

PCSO's have no authority and can be ignored, they are just civilians with the power of citizens arrest, same as everybody else, that's it.

Wrong, I'm afraid, at least in this case. Under Section 8 of the relevant regulation para 12 (a) (ii) a PCSO has powers under the regulation

Only an officer of the crown can stop you and ask questions.

Not entirely certain about that. They certainly do not have powers of arrest but they can legally detain someone pending the arrival of a sworn constable to effect an arrest. Also see the sentence above about Para 8 12 (a) (ii)

Commswonk

I have just seen on the news the chief of Nottinghamshire police saying that at currently they are not going start searching peoples shopping to see if their journey was essential. But they might begin to do that if people don't heed advise to stay at home.

I heard that on the R4 News at 1800; I may have misheard but I thought it was Northamptonshire. It was then reported that the CC had retracted after getting a broadside from some politician or other.

It that sort of abuse of power if they do start doing that, that will stop people being behind the police during this crisis.

No it's much worse than that; public support for the police generally will be withdrawn and may / will take a long time to recover.

I am sure even with the emergency law that was passed it did not give police the powers to rummage through your shopping

No it didn't, but I think there are other statutes that will be used as a reason excuse to carry out a search. Forewarned is forearmed; best to let them get on with it unless you have something you really shouldn't on your person or in your bag. It'll be a nice waste of time for them.

Commswonk

"#MeToo"

Mrs Commswonk and I ran foul of a couple of PCSOs when we drove 2 miles to a local park to have a walk. They were insistent that this was against the law, and (when pressed) even tried to use the current Statutory Instrument to back themselves up. Someone in authority had decided that a 2 km limit applied, which is utter bollocks; the S/I is quite clear about what the restrictions on movement are; see Section 6 of http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/350/made.

Somewhere along the line either the College of Policing and/or the National Police Chiefs Council had taken it upon themselves to come up with restrictions that were simply not included in the S/I. I find it deeply worrying that any part of the police service should think that it/they have the power to rewrite the law to say and mean something other than what it actually says.

Anyway within 48 hours the police (nationally) backed away from this sort of nonsense; I would like to think that my blistering email & letter to the local Police & Crime Commissioner* (who, from his website, was supportive of this sort of policing) had been a part of that rethink but somehow I doubt it.

I find it equally bewildering that Government & Ministerial spoutings are often still at lesser variance with what the S/I actually stipulates; read it - it is easily one of the most easy to read and understand pieces of "law" I have ever encountered. (Disclosure; IANAL)

* Lancashire, in case you were wondering.

Who's going to pay for Britain's Aunty Beeb to carry on? Broadband users, broadcaster suggests to government

Commswonk

Re: Ha

Let the people who use the BBC pay for it and let everyone else get what they want without propping it up.

Sorry but that idea is fundamentally flawed. Channels 3, 4 & 5 are paid for by advertisements. Even if I don't have a television if something I buy has been advertised on television then a part of what it costs me goes to the advertising and television companies, notwithstanding the fact that not having a television means that I did not see the advertisement in the first place.

In short I would be "propping up the independents" even though I was not watching their (often horrible) programmes.

No point in replacing one wrong with another...

Commswonk

Re: April Fool

@ Jellied Eel:

+1 for "Beebonomics" :)

BT providing free meals to coax its healthy customer support staff back into office as calls rocket amid pandemic

Commswonk

Indeed it isn't. While I can enjoy a bit of BT - bashing as much as anyone in this case it might not be wholly appropriate. Part of the "non - triviality" is replacing the one "desk top" per call centre worker *on duty* to have one laptop per employee, whether on duty or not. Apart from being able to get hold of that many laptops quickly (none to be had now I suspect!) the costs would be high and we all know that in the end it won't be BT but its customers that pay for it all.