* Posts by herman

1587 posts • joined 31 Jul 2007

If it were possible to evade facial-recognition systems using just subtle makeup, it might look something like this

herman Silver badge
Devil

Black is beautiful

Everybody should wear pitch black wagon grease makeup at all times.

You want us to make a change? We can do it, but it'll cost you...

herman Silver badge
Black Helicopters

IF statement change

I once changed an IF statement for $500,000. In the machine code, it amounted to a single bit change. OK, it was code used in a flight control computer for a fighter bomber, so a wee little bit of Systems Engineering, Test and Validation, QA and CM were also required...

EU open source study highlights economic benefits but says Union is 'on the back foot' with industrial policy

herman Silver badge

Err... Microsoft, Apple, Google and Facebook all depend heavily on FOSS. Microsoft Windows is a legacy system used only by a billion or so desktop computers. Everything else, from embedded widgets and cell phones to super computers - several billion devices - use FOSS.

Off yer bike: Apple warns motorcycles could shake iPhone cameras out of focus forever

herman Silver badge

Re: You're holding it wrong!

"Tap a pocket" - Like the Pope coming out of an Arabian bazaar: Tap Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch...

The day has a 'y' in it, so Virgin Galactic has announced another delay

herman Silver badge

No Ys in most of European days

Where I live in the middle of Europe, there are no Ys in the days at all, but there are a few Ks: Nedela, Pondelok, Utorok, Streda, Stvrtok, Piatok, Sobota.

You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

herman Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: I love the middle of Lidl

If tools are cheap enough then it doesn't matter if they break after the second use, but in general I haven't had cheap tools break on me - they just bend or deform a little and go out of true, which is much worse - since I cannot get myself to toss a worn/bent/wobbly tool away, I always think that I can fix it and still use it and then end up annoyed when the results are sub par...

==> Paris, since she is sub par...

herman Silver badge
Devil

Tools, tools, tools - never enough tools

I just got back from Hornbach. I went looking for a frost proof garden hydrant and came home with a Makita saw, a dowel jig and drill bit depth stops. As for the hydrant - I'll try again tomorrow at Bauhaus and goodness knows which nice tools I will then come home with and there are still Merkury Market and Obi, to explore also. This is what happens when my SO decides to go on a hen's holiday in the mountains, leaving me unsupervised...

Music festivals are back in the UK. So is the background bork

herman Silver badge

Re: This was a music festival

“Björk” - Well, if Abba was music…

Not too bright, are you? Your laptop, I mean... Not you

herman Silver badge

Re: Ah, a first time user

Man, I can still remember (and prefer!) the Wordstar key bindings. I think Wordstar was originally developed for an Abacus and that Adam used it to compose love letters to Eve in the garden of Eden.

Oh! A surprise tour of the data centre! You shouldn't have. No, you really shouldn't have

herman Silver badge
Flame

Heavy breathing call

I once got a support call when I was half way up the hill to a castle in Slovakia. The bladdy things are all on a steep hilltop.

A speech recognition app goes into a bar. Speak up if you’ve heard it already

herman Silver badge

Global meteor network

If you really want to see the apocalypse coming with your own sky observation camera, there is this: https://globalmeteornetwork.org/

herman Silver badge

Re: Bunker size

It is larger on the inside.

Perseverance rover drilled a rock on Mars and probably snaffled a core sample

herman Silver badge
Alien

They are just playing

A future mission is supposed to pick up the samples and return it to earth. It will be much easier for a future mission to just scoop up a shovel full of gravel and bring that back.

In space, no one can hear cyber security professionals scream

herman Silver badge
Black Helicopters

SATNOGS

There are many earth observation satellites that provide data streams that can be intercepted by hobbyists. See https://satnogs.org/

Bangkok Airways hit by LockBit ransomware attack, loses lotsa data after refusing to pay

herman Silver badge

Re: is this fake news?

Merseyrail may be on time, but staying on the rails is another matter: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-56393532

Adding AI to everything won't make sense until we can use it for anything

herman Silver badge

"AI/ML is the poster child here because it is uniquely good for obtaining vast amounts of venture money" - TFIFY.

Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick

herman Silver badge

"tap - Reboot, tap - Reboot" - I witnessed some percussive maintenance on a core memory array - a tiny piece of ferite dropped out eventually and then it worked.

herman Silver badge

Re: always in the last place we look

"why would you keep looking after you found something...?" - If it is an aircraft or a rocket, then you keep looking till you fully understand the root cause of the problem!

herman Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Bent pins

Try installing a Motorized Uniselector back into a Plessey Phone exchange rack without bending a contact or ten...

herman Silver badge

Re: Power supply on the floor?

Altzheimer's Light...

herman Silver badge
Pint

Re: The "inspector"

Ahhh... Ye good olde days when there were TWO channels on the TV...

herman Silver badge

Re: The "inspector"

Well, who would put a soldering iron behind his ear? That is a whole new level of specialness.

When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers

herman Silver badge

Re: spare nuts

And the next day, pour a cup of oil on the ground under his car…

herman Silver badge

Re: iFixit

My favorite gentle persuasion tools are a medium sledge hammer and a crow bar - especially effective when used together.

herman Silver badge

Re: Two observations:

Ice tray? Then after a while the ice will be melted, the screws will be wet and your next martini will have little screws in it…

Lost in IKEA? So, it seems, is Windows

herman Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Windows FP

Hmm, the Windows Flat Pack Edition has lost a screw... it figures.

Paris - since she lost a screw or two too...

China, Russia, India, and pals agree to create virtual satellite constellation

herman Silver badge

Satnogs

For those interested in building your own satellite ground station, see Satnogs: https://satnogs.org/

Beige Against the Machine: The IBM PC turns 40

herman Silver badge
Devil

Re: Edlin

Bah, the standard editor is ed.

herman Silver badge

Re: Whee, another distraction

The PSU will likely blow up the moment you plug it in though. Electrolytic capacitors have a limited lifespan.

herman Silver badge
Pirate

Ayup - even war ships are retired after 30 years.

herman Silver badge
Flame

Crime against humanity

I think that in retrospect, IBM should be sued for a crime against humanity: Selecting Billy Bob to supply the software, held the art of desktop computing back for decades.

You MUST present your official ID (but only the one that's really easy to fake)

herman Silver badge

Re: It's an anachronism anyway

Quite. My wife now has different surnames in her two countries of citizenship.

herman Silver badge

Re: It's an anachronism anyway

Oh come on, Ms Anonymous Coward is not that hard to spell.

Great reset? More like Fake Reset: Leaders need a reality check if they think their best staff will give up hybrid work

herman Silver badge

It Depends…

If your work is IT based, then sure, you can work from anywhere. However, there is a whole world out there beyond your basement hideout that works differently.

Windows 11 comes bearing THAAS, Trojan Horse as a service

herman Silver badge

Re: WebEx

The devs of Webex left and founded Zoom.

UK celebrates 25 years of wasteful, 'underperforming' government IT projects

herman Silver badge

Re: can they learn? Are they teachable?

With 25 years of mismanagement experience, they certainly can mismanage anything.

Teen turned away from roller rink after AI wrongly identifies her as banned troublemaker

herman Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Multispectral Cameras

The problem is not with the facial recognition software. The problem is with the bad hardware. A half decent multispectral camera system will work much better.

Cyberlaw experts: Take back control. No, we're not talking about Brexit. It's Automated Lane Keeping Systems

herman Silver badge

Re: I Have A Lane Awareness System

Where I live, some roads consist entirely of partially filled potholes, with no trace of any original road surfacing or markings. As a result, the lane keeper system can be rather annoying.

herman Silver badge

Re: "Tesla’s Autopilot [...] can drive in a single lane..."

Err... I have worked on 5 helicopter projects. They can pretty much sit like a brick in the sky sometimes.

herman Silver badge
Thumb Down

The Pothole and Bicycle Finder

The lane keeper system in my car makes it hard to avoid potholes, bicycles and broken down vehicles. So it is firmly turned off.

The lights go off, broadband drops out, the TV freezes … and nobody knows why (spooky music)

herman Silver badge

Re: Shibboleet

Actually, it is very easy to get good service at a phone company call centre - just swear profusely at whoever eventually answers the call - you will then be bumped to a very nice and super competent sooth sayer person, who will fix the problem for you. At the end of the call you can apologize for the bad behaviour if you want.

As Europe hopes to double its share of global chip production, Intel comes along with $20bn, plans for fabs

herman Silver badge
Devil

Re: Great News!

No worries, the eventual oversupply of slow Intel 15 nm chips (good for embedded systems) will eventually benefit everybody outside the EU.

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light

herman Silver badge

Re: Hang on.. its monday

'Denatonium benzoate' - Foul stuff - worse than Mace. Basically causes an Asthma attack.

herman Silver badge

Re: All these comments

'Over 9 centuries' - Over that long a period the Church had several competing calendars. Medieval dates is a crap shoot.

herman Silver badge
Flame

Re: Anything with a network connection can be scanned

You forgot tracking the LAN cables.

herman Silver badge

Re: Old school methodology.

Aup, that is why SNMP servers are so popular.

herman Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Diesel...

Ooooh, I can just imagine the result of welding a cap on a fume filled Bradley...

herman Silver badge

Re: Definitely pick which battles you want to fight...

Toxic Polyurethane fumes are reserved for the Manglement. That is why C-level offices and board rooms always have overstuffed furniture with lots of polyurethane foam.

herman Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Definitely pick which battles you want to fight...

Cable counters... don't go and work for the military - everything is tracked, even light switches and cover plates.

BOFH: Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can listen to you ... It keeps me stable for days

herman Silver badge
Alien

Phun and games

Do not taunt the happy fun ball.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021