Posts by golfcaddy

Guess who left a database wide open, exposing chat logs, API keys, and more? Yup, DeepSeek

Re: All Live Operational Virtual Environment Systems are Go.

WTF?

Pixies keep switching off my morning alarm, says Google Pixel owner

Sorry not sorry

The band's frontman has apologised, but of course he's not sorry because now thousands of people, like me, who have never heard the track or played it on Spotify before, are playing it on Spotify to see what all the fuss is about.

I must admit to quite liking it, so I've now added The Pixies to my playlist. As if there wasn't enough royalty coverage this week...

Not for children: Audacity fans drop the f-bomb after privacy agreement changes

Re: Strike three

Call it Audacious. Much like the developers plans.

IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

A classic IT jargon tale...

Does anyone remember this one? Some good old computing references in here..... I remember being emailed this one around 20+ years ago....

Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His

broadband protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous

input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

One evening he arrived home just as the Sun was crashing, and had

parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus

that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring

the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself, "She looks

user-friendly. I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin 32-bit

floating point processors, and inquired, "How are you, Honeywell?"

"Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly

and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.

Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone

tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my base address?

I'll output a byte to eat and maybe we could get offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted 8K,

"I've been recently dumped myself and a new page is just what I need to

refresh my disk packs. I'll park my machine cycle in your background

and meet you inside." She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her

solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a global variable! I wonder if

she'd like my firmware?"

They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche and

chips and a bottle of Baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and

expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional

acknowledgements although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest

and least critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the

old line, "Would you like to see my benchmark subroutine?" but Mini

was again one clock tick ahead.

Suddenly, she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the

full functionality of her operating system. "Let's get BASIC, you RAM"

she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his hardware policing

module had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing its

output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about.

"Core," was all he could say, as she prepared to log him off.

Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and opened

her device files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully

packed root device and was about to start pushing into her CPU stack,

when she attempted an escape sequence.

"No, no!" she cried. "You're not shielded!"

"Reset, baby," he replied. "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child

processes," she protested.

"Don't run away," he said. "I'll generate an interrupt."

"No!" she squealed. "That's too error prone and I can't abort because

of my design philosophy."

But Micro was locked in by this stage and could not be turned off. Mini

stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his main

supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and went to sleep.

"Computers!" she thought as she compiled herself. "All they ever

think of is hex!"