* Posts by Aladdin Sane

2495 posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

Have no idea WTF is going on with the Oracle-Walmart TikTok deal? Don’t sweat it, here’s our latest rundown

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Re: Muppetry

I'm more concerned about who exactly has their hand up his arse.

UK Parliament's human rights committee pushes for better protections of coronavirus contact-tracing data in law

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World beating

FML

We don't need maintenance this often, surely? Pull it. Oh dear, the system's down

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Trollface

Re: An ex employer did that too.

"forgotten"

Cops called to Singapore golf club after 'wrongdoers' use scripts to book popular timeslots

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Re: It really is resource misuse

I'm pretty sure The Orange One uses a Dunlop 1 golf ball.

The power of Bill compels you: A server room possessed by a Microsoft-hating, Linux-loving Demon

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Re: Trumpet

Isn't a Trumpet the spawn of Trump?

I AM ERROR: Tired of chewing up your RAM? Razer tells gamers where to stick its special gum for the RGB crowd

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What does Soylent taste like?

It varies from person to person.

Salon told to change ad looking for 'happy' stylist because it 'discriminated against unhappy people'

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Re: I'm with Richard

Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?

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Terminator

Re: How I feel in the office

Multiple instances of time travel shenanigans have left me no less than thirty-seven times older than the universe itself. My various body parts, now rusted and barely functional, have been replaced at least fifty times each (except, ironically, all the diodes down my left side).

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Terminator

How I feel in the office

There's only one life-form as intelligent as me within thirty parsecs of here and that's me.

Mate, it's the '90s. You don't need to be reachable every minute of every hour. Your operating system can't cope

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Gimp

Re: Unless you WANT to be a slave to email, that is ...

Don 't kink shame me

What would you prefer: Satellite-streamed cat GIFs – or a decent early warning of an asteroid apocalypse?

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And then you'd have to vent that gas once it's in orbit, or make it air tight. Either way you're creating more problems for not very much benefit.

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Hubble cost 4 billion USD for a 2.4 metre mirror telescope, Gran Telescopio Canarias cost 130 million EUR for a 10.4 metre telescope. Considering a shuttle launch at the time cost 450 million USD, we can surmise that satellites are seriously pricey. For what they're looking to do, ground based is still the best option.

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Re: If only there were some kind of paint with 99.999% absorbtion

What about red doors?

Some lucky web developer just scored $20k to scour Facebook out of Neil Young’s website

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Mushroom

Anti GMO but dependent on insulin from GMO corn. He's a hypocrite. Also, I think Pono is a good indictment of how tech savvy he is.

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

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Greg House? Is that you?

Google extends homeworking until this time next year – as Microsoft finds WFH is terrific... for Microsoft

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Those are mostly the same folk who cite defence against a tyrannical government as reason for owning guns...

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Are you sure you're not me? I've come to the conclusion that I'm no longer working from home, I'm living at work. The lack of separation is tortuous.

From 'Queen of the Skies' to Queen of the Scrapheap: British Airways chops 747 fleet as folk stay at home

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Re: BOAC

Here was me thinking it stood for Boeing Only Airways Corporation

The reluctant log trawler: The buck stops with the back-end

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Who's the guy from IT

Who'll defenestrate you and me? (BOFH!)

You're damn right

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Seems like the web developers need to meet a lift shaft.

Beware the fresh Windows XP install: Failure awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

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Re: The Need For Chewed Wires...

My brother once had to tell our mum that the hoover went bang and tried to bite him. He'd tried cutting through the lead with the breadknife, fortunately he was wearing his wellies at the time. 30+ years later, they still have the knife with a perfect semi-circular hole in the blade.

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Re: The Need For Chewed Wires...

Some people unplug devices before cutting the cable.

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Coat

Have you tried

Chewing on the cable?

It's National Cream Tea Day and this time we end the age-old debate once and for all: How do you eat yours?

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Gimp

Nothing tops clotted cream.

Icon just because.

Fasten your seat belts: Brave Reg hack spends a week eating airline food grounded by coronavirus crash

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Re: Price...

He took away their turkey twizzlers, the same generation then took away his restaurants.

'One rule for me, another for them' is all well and good until it sinks the entire company's ability to receive emails

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Coat

Al

Was Chevy Chase involved?

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

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Re: Simple Response.

He'd smash the Carol Baskin Savage dance, and you know it.

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Re: Simple Response.

Anybody else love the image of Trump doing a TikTok dance?

Dude, where's my laser?

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Re: It's Been Done...

And I thought tank plinking was overkill

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Coat

But the Death Star was blown up by proton torpedoes fired from an Incom T-65B X-Wing starfighter.

Mine's the one with the technical manual in the pocket.

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

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Re: Too many return() statements in the code?

It's a very relevant branch of the RN

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Re: Similar to...

"It's a dead cert", well, nine time out of ten.

Obligatory request for a Sir Pterry icon

Data centre reveals it modeled interiors on The Hunt for Red October sets

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Re: Fun!

Just going to leave this here, with no comment.

Reg fashion special: Top designer says 'video chat accessories' are in for spring!

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Re: What would we do without fashion?

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Oscar Wilde

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

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Re: Methane Explosion

They ask for the blandest thing on the menu, obviously.

Cricket's average-busting mathematician Tony Lewis pulls up stumps

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GNU Tony Lewis

Mind how you go

It's time to track people's smartphones to ensure they self-isolate during this global pandemic, says WHO boffin

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Re: And I don't live either below the waves or on a boat

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

First impressions count when the world is taken by surprise by an exciting new (macro) virus

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Re: Warnings ignored?

Why would you leave bootnotes?

Apollo astronaut Al Worden – once named most isolated human being of all time – dies aged 88

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GNU Al Worden

Mind how you go.

British Army adopts WhatsApp for formal orders as coronavirus isolation kicks in

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Trollface

Re: Is this Standard WhatsApp?

You wanna try saying that to my face?

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Re: Is this Standard WhatsApp?

End to end encryption that the government can't crack?

Broadcom sues Netflix for its success: You’re stopping us making a fortune from set-top boxes, moans chip designer

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Re: FRAND

We all know that the best compression is middle out.

US prez Donald Trump declares America closed to those flying in from Schengen zone over coronavirus woes

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Green card holders and the immediate family of US citizens get a pass.

Well that's just fucking stupid.

Yelp finally gets its chance to tell US Congress how Google screws its listings service every minute of every day

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Re: Yell just need to put some effort in

Yelp <> Yell

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

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Trollface

Re: catalogue

Laminated book of dreams

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You can roll up the rest of the newspaper and use it to whack dunny spiders.

It is 50 years since Blighty began a homegrown and all-too-brief foray into space

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Re: The Beatles?

Could do drum and bass

Bloodhound gang handles the pan again to get back to Hakskeenpan

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C-Stoff wasn't exactly nice, and didn't help that the 2 looked identical.

Have I Been S0ld? No, trusted security website HIBP off the table, will remain independent

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Pint

Deserves several of these ----->

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