* Posts by Aladdin Sane

2475 posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

Beware the fresh Windows XP install: Failure awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

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Re: The Need For Chewed Wires...

My brother once had to tell our mum that the hoover went bang and tried to bite him. He'd tried cutting through the lead with the breadknife, fortunately he was wearing his wellies at the time. 30+ years later, they still have the knife with a perfect semi-circular hole in the blade.

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Re: The Need For Chewed Wires...

Some people unplug devices before cutting the cable.

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Coat

Have you tried

Chewing on the cable?

It's National Cream Tea Day and this time we end the age-old debate once and for all: How do you eat yours?

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Gimp

Nothing tops clotted cream.

Icon just because.

Fasten your seat belts: Brave Reg hack spends a week eating airline food grounded by coronavirus crash

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Re: Price...

He took away their turkey twizzlers, the same generation then took away his restaurants.

'One rule for me, another for them' is all well and good until it sinks the entire company's ability to receive emails

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Coat

Al

Was Chevy Chase involved?

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

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Re: Simple Response.

He'd smash the Carol Baskin Savage dance, and you know it.

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Re: Simple Response.

Anybody else love the image of Trump doing a TikTok dance?

Dude, where's my laser?

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Re: It's Been Done...

And I thought tank plinking was overkill

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Coat

But the Death Star was blown up by proton torpedoes fired from an Incom T-65B X-Wing starfighter.

Mine's the one with the technical manual in the pocket.

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

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Re: Too many return() statements in the code?

It's a very relevant branch of the RN

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Re: Similar to...

"It's a dead cert", well, nine time out of ten.

Obligatory request for a Sir Pterry icon

Data centre reveals it modeled interiors on The Hunt for Red October sets

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Re: Fun!

Just going to leave this here, with no comment.

Reg fashion special: Top designer says 'video chat accessories' are in for spring!

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Re: What would we do without fashion?

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Oscar Wilde

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

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Re: Methane Explosion

They ask for the blandest thing on the menu, obviously.

Cricket's average-busting mathematician Tony Lewis pulls up stumps

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GNU Tony Lewis

Mind how you go

It's time to track people's smartphones to ensure they self-isolate during this global pandemic, says WHO boffin

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Re: And I don't live either below the waves or on a boat

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

First impressions count when the world is taken by surprise by an exciting new (macro) virus

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Re: Warnings ignored?

Why would you leave bootnotes?

Apollo astronaut Al Worden – once named most isolated human being of all time – dies aged 88

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GNU Al Worden

Mind how you go.

British Army adopts WhatsApp for formal orders as coronavirus isolation kicks in

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Trollface

Re: Is this Standard WhatsApp?

You wanna try saying that to my face?

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Re: Is this Standard WhatsApp?

End to end encryption that the government can't crack?

Broadcom sues Netflix for its success: You’re stopping us making a fortune from set-top boxes, moans chip designer

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Re: FRAND

We all know that the best compression is middle out.

US prez Donald Trump declares America closed to those flying in from Schengen zone over coronavirus woes

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Green card holders and the immediate family of US citizens get a pass.

Well that's just fucking stupid.

Yelp finally gets its chance to tell US Congress how Google screws its listings service every minute of every day

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Re: Yell just need to put some effort in

Yelp <> Yell

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

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Trollface

Re: catalogue

Laminated book of dreams

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You can roll up the rest of the newspaper and use it to whack dunny spiders.

It is 50 years since Blighty began a homegrown and all-too-brief foray into space

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Re: The Beatles?

Could do drum and bass

Bloodhound gang handles the pan again to get back to Hakskeenpan

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C-Stoff wasn't exactly nice, and didn't help that the 2 looked identical.

Have I Been S0ld? No, trusted security website HIBP off the table, will remain independent

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Pint

Deserves several of these ----->

Our 'solution is killing us in a number of areas' IBM said about doomed £175m Co-Op Insurance project

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Coat

They're not weasels, they're meerkats.

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Simples.

Death and taxis: Windows has had enough of clinging to a cab rooftop in the London rain

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Re: Manure in the cloud

Wouldn't that lead to a shower of shit?

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

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Coffee/keyboard

Is anybody else clenching now or is it just me?

Northrop Grumman's space zombie slayer grants Intelsat 901 five more years in orbit

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Pint

Well deserved

Pope tells his followers to log off for Lent

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Trollface

give up useless words, chatter, rumours, gossip

So, the bible then?

Sophos was gearing up for a private life – then someone remembered the bike scheme

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Wafer thin mint level.

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Still better attention to due diligence than apparently happened with Autonomy.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

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Re: I voted for BREXIT

So what were you promised?

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Headmaster

Re: pease of mind

You absolute pudding.

Flat Earther and wannabe astronaut killed in homemade rocket

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Obligatory xkcd is obligatory.

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I want to go out of morbid curiosity.

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Gravity's a myth, the earth sucks.

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Re: not linear but curved

Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.

Realme's 5G handset is a bargain at €599 – but it's only for cool young people. Sorry

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Re: can't challenge China

HTC is sort of made in China.

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Facepalm

Re: can't challenge China

Except it is Chinese

This is your last chance, HP. There's no turning back. You take blue poison pill, the story ends. You take the red Xerox pill, you stay in Wonderland

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Re: re: So Xerox is lending money from a bank

It may be accepted by the common folk, but we woz learned better.

If you're struggling to keep new year resolutions, try NGTS-10b, a mere 1,000 LY away. One year is just 18 hrs

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Depends on the relative velocity of the object.

Ofcom measured UK's 5G radiation and found that, no, it won't give you cancer

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Coat

Dangerous levels of EMF

It's unbelievable.

Come on baby light me on fire: McDonald's to sell 'Quarter Pounder' scented candles

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Re: All candles at once

Only if there's a little toy

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