* Posts by Aladdin Sane

2718 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

They call me 'Growler'. I don't like you. Let's discuss your pay cut

Aladdin Sane

Re: Depends on your definition of growler I guess.

My dad was drinking in the American Legion:

Yank: Where were you boys during Vietnam?

Dad: I thought the Vietcong were doing fine without us.

Aladdin Sane
Pint

Re: Depends on your definition of growler I guess.

64 US oz is a smidge over 3.3 UK pints. So that's lunch sorted.

My dad was in the USA with the RN in the 70s, and said the matelots were delighted to find that Americans served beer in jugs, so they got a jug each.

It's that most wonderful time of the year when tech cannot handle the date

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

My automatic watch says it's 29th, what's the problem?

Apple's Titan(ic) iCar project is dead as self-driving dream fails to materialize

Aladdin Sane

Re: I don't get it either

I put a seatbelt on my shopping so if anything happens it doesn't splatter all over the inside of my car.

Security is hard because it has to be right all the time? Yeah, like everything else

Aladdin Sane

Re: Security is hard because it has to be right all the time?

It's also hard because it's the only example where you have people actively working against you Depending on your view on bean counters, of course.

European Court of Human Rights declares backdoored encryption is illegal

Aladdin Sane

That's why they're investing in quantum.

Aladdin Sane

Re: Well good thing the UK had Brexit

English is the lingua franca of the world.

Joint European Torus experiments end on a 69 megajoules high

Aladdin Sane

69 megajoules

Nice

With $1B to burn on green tech, HSBC seeks Google’s help

Aladdin Sane

HSBC

How simple becomes complicated.

Post Office boss unable to say when biz knew Horizon could be remotely altered

Aladdin Sane

Re: s/unable/unwilling/

I think because they were all convicted separately then the appeals have to be heard one by one.

Aladdin Sane

Re: s/unable/unwilling/

Unfortunately, that would set an extremely dangerous precedent where the government of the day can quash the convictions of whoever they feel like.

BT to spell out contract price hikes in pounds and pence

Aladdin Sane

It pays for the champagne at the shareholders meeting.

PC 'price hike' coming as cost of memory soars – analysts

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

That's not growth

That's a mild swelling.

Now if you excuse me, I have some Christmas lights to switch on.

HP customers claim firmware update rendered third-party ink verboten

Aladdin Sane

Re: "If a printer is connected to the internet, the update downloads automatically"

Brave of you to assume it'll work without internet access.

UK PM promises faster justice for Post Office Horizon victims

Aladdin Sane

Re: No Justice

Since you've been reading the transcripts I can only assume your heating bill is 0 as your piss is permanently on a rolling boil.

BOFH: The Christmas party was so good, an independent inquiry is required

Aladdin Sane

Re: it's 1030 and we have to open the bar

It was at the office, they probably slept/passed out there.

Halley's Comet has begun its long trek back toward Earth

Aladdin Sane

No mention of Odyssey Three?

For shame.

Nearly a million non-profit donors' details left exposed in unsecured database

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

Nail them

to a tree by their ears.

Microsoft Forms feature request still not sorted after SEVEN years

Aladdin Sane
Coat

Re: Don't rush them!

Hang on a minute...

Ofcom proposes ban on UK telcos making 'inflation-linked' price hikes mid-contract

Aladdin Sane

Re: Ofcom...

When I worked for a large bank anything that went the Ombudsman cost £250 in fees, so the complaints team had that level of authority to credit accounts. Cheaper in the long run.

Aladdin Sane

Re: If it's got OF in title going to get RIPPED OFF

Only Fans...

Wait, somebody's still getting screwed. Carry on as you were.

Aladdin Sane

Re: Shocked, of Hamel Hampsted

Was that direct from O2 or from a reseller? Direct they lock you in for 3 years but then drop the device part of the pcm when paid off. Reseller it doesn't change after the lock in period unless you ask.

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

Inflation rises are a sham. If they really needed to increase the price they would increase the new contracts in line as well, but the bastards don't. It's just to pad their already healthy bottom line.

Enterprising techie took the bumpy road to replacing vintage hardware

Aladdin Sane

The AH-64A is 48 years old. The AH-64D (on which the Westlands variant is based) is 30 years old. I'm not surprised it takes ages to boot.

Hubble Space Telescope is back in the game after NASA fixes gyro glitch

Aladdin Sane
Pint

Those folk at NASA have earned several of these---->

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus

Aladdin Sane

Re: More Beria than BOFH.

Nah, none of those reprobates would actually get their hands dirty.

World's largest nuclear fusion reactor comes online in Japan

Aladdin Sane

Re: Hope this goes well

The Swiss watch making community are gonna love this.

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

Aladdin Sane

Re: Profit on rockets

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise a kid

Aladdin Sane

Steve Jobs returns from the dead and bitch slaps Zuck and Musk in a battle-royale.

We challenged you to come up with tech predictions for 2024 (wrong answers only) – here are some favorites so far

Aladdin Sane

Looks like, and the Discovery shuttle

AI threatens to automate away the clergy

Aladdin Sane

Favourite way of dealing with major mental health issues as well.

Pope tempted by Python! Signs off on coding scheme for kids

Aladdin Sane

At least it's not 40 days and 40 nights.

Aladdin Sane

Re: Coding with Biblical proportions

If in doubt, douse your computer with holy water.

NASA and Boeing try to chase the contrail clouds away

Aladdin Sane

Obligatory xkcd.

Teens take a million metaverse Ryanair flights in Roblox

Aladdin Sane

Re: Bathroom?

There's no actual term for the room in question, it's euphemisms all the way down.

Scripted shortcut caused double-click disaster of sysadmin's own making

Aladdin Sane

Re: It is mandatory to have a Oh No Oh Second experience

Quickly followed by an "Oh shit oh shit oh shit"

Aladdin Sane
Headmaster

Re: It is mandatory to have a Oh No Oh Second experience

"an Oh No" not "a Oh No"

UK splashes £4B to dive into next-gen nuclear submarines

Aladdin Sane

Re: Continuity of workload

I came here to mention the Dreadnought class, but in my heart I knew it would have been said already.

How is this problem mine, techie asked, while cleaning underground computer

Aladdin Sane

Re: "......the mine had closed."

If there's a minicomputer still down there it's likely been underwater for quite some time. There's a reason mines need to be pumped.

Also, South Crofty has an incredibly heartrending piece of graffiti -

'CORNISH LADS ARE FISHERMEN AND CORNISH LADS ARE MINERS TOO BUT WHEN THE FISH AND TIN ARE GONE WHAT ARE THE CORNISH BOYS TO DO?'

The story goes that the graffiti was being written along the wall outside of South Crofty Mine when a policeman came around the corner. Having taken it all in, he apparently turned and walked away and left them to finish the job.

Largest local government body in Europe goes under amid Oracle disaster

Aladdin Sane

The games actually turned a profit. The problem is they took up the manpower that could've been used preventing the current shitshow.

Decades-old Home Office asylum system misses EOL deadline, no new timetable in place

Aladdin Sane

Brave of you to assume the border checks are working

Tesla is looking for people to build '1st of its kind Data Centers'

Aladdin Sane
Headmaster

1st of its kind Data Centers

First of their kind, Shirley?

Larry Ellison a major contributor to Blair Institute vaccine database plan

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

Fewer likeable.

LG to offer subscriptions for appliances and televisions

Aladdin Sane

Re: Wrong

pay £2.50 to stream another half an hour of affirmations made especially for *you*

Cheaper than ladies of negotiable affection.

Or so I've been told.

The number’s up for 999. And 911. And 000. And 111

Aladdin Sane

Re: "...local radio hams to dig themselves out from their cellars..."

I assume you sit in the lotus position and say "Ohm"?

Aladdin Sane
Coat

The new number is 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3

Experts scoff at UK Lords' suggestion that AI could one day make battlefield decisions

Aladdin Sane
Coat

Re: Mmmmm let me think...

It's a mess

Data cleanser did its job, but – oopsie! – also doubled customers' bills

Aladdin Sane
Coat

The money was just resting in his account.

Mars helicopter went silent for six sols, imperilled Perseverance rover

Aladdin Sane
Mushroom

Perseverance has an onboard Patriot battery.

Alien rock causes cosmic disturbance in New Jersey home

Aladdin Sane

Re: To be fair...

Gravity's a myth, the Earth sucks.