Posts by Aladdin Sane

8K? That’s cute. This display has 600 million pixels

Re: Oops

Splitscreen GoldenEye

Half of environmental claims about products are full of crap, says EU

Re: Lies, Damned Lies, and yet more Marketing Lies

Not lies, just...bullshit.

Surely you can't be serious: Airbus close to landing fully automated passenger jets

Re: This system will work perfectly...

You got a problem with Canada gooses then you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.

Native Americans urge Apache Software Foundation to ditch name

2000 unmarked graves

Those complaining about First Nations trying to protect themselves should read about recent news events. Native Americans were subjected to a genocide and are still recovering from it.

How not to test a new system: push a button and wait to see what happens

never turn anything off if you don't know how to turn it back on.

And that, dear reader, is why my marriage failed.

Someone has to say it: Voice assistants are not doing it for big tech

Re: Blind person's perspective

Obligatory xkcd.

Time Lords decree an end to leap seconds before risky attempt to reverse time

Re: Let it slide

Just divide the year into 1000ths.

Hail the Emperor.

Job 1: Get the boss on the network. Job 2: Figure out why Job 1 broke the network for everyone else

Re: I hope it was only the WiFi

No mention that it was work devices, so I'm guessing that their personal devices were being affected. It does mention that it was the Grand Fromage's personal fondleslab.

NASA's Artemis mission finally launches after faulty Ethernet switch delayed countdown

They didn't say which 29th August.

Croatian EV maker Rimac claims 412km/h speed record

Re: Not enough range.

smuggling firewood

My new favourite euphemism.

University staff voice 'urgent, profound concern' as Oracle finance system delays payments

Re: Responsibilities sought?

They're now the head of bogs and drains.

Microsoft's $69B deal to buy Activision Blizzard under investigation by EU regulators

Maybe, but if there's to be a 10th gen, this long term bet could pay off very well.

Sizewell C nuclear plant up for review as UK faces financial black hole

Re: Daft

clean coal power stations

No such thing.

Linus Torvalds suggests the 80486 architecture belongs in a museum, not the Linux kernel

Re: Lessons?

Are you saying Intel poured their cruelty, their malice and their will to dominate all life into the i486?

Data loss prevention emergency tactic: keep your finger on the power button for the foreseeable future

Maybe it was 15 very smalls?

Re: Another sign of the migration of El Reg Westwards?

More so than usual

We've seen things you people wouldn't believe. A planet, dense as a marshmallow, that would float on water

Isn't Saturn a massive floater?

Artist formerly known as Kanye reveals Parler trick: Buying the far-right haven

Re: 40K daily active users?

513k daily active

Senior engineer reported to management for failing to fix a stapler

Red swingline stapler.

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

OneWeb takes $229m hit from satellites not returned by Russia

Re: Westminster at work

Once the SA80 had been played with by the boys at H&K and the A2 variant produced, it became one of the best in the world.

Salesperson's tech dream delivered by ill-equipped consultant who charged for the inevitable fix

Re: Tales from the future

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.

This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15

Re: Written reports on pron.

Yeah, but he then had to provide a synopsis to his boss. Plot analysis can be tricky.

Heresy: Hare programming language an alternative to C

It won't have Bugs

They'll be called Bunnies.

I was just leaving.

Big Tech revenues under threat from EU law proposals

Oh no

If it isn't the consequences of their own actions.

Help, my IT team has no admin access to their own systems

Re: That's around £1,500 ($1,980) in today's money

Doesn't bother me, I only ever put a tenner in anyway.

IT blamed after HR forgets to install sockets in new office

Re: He who shouts loudest is often wrong

They're still all called Rupert

Zero trust? Not yet a must for most IT departments

Dunno, judicious use of a lump hammer can improve security. Also useful for reverse phrenology.

New flashpoint: US may ask Chinese tech firms to bin Russia

Your colleague owes me a keyboard.

Your app deleted all my files. And my wallpaper too!

Re: Or if you have a user who "knows what they are doing"

Surely K is just a really late term A?

Americans far more willing to hand over personal data

Re: @nematoad

Imagine how happy your ancestors would be if they could see you in your nice warm home with a full belly.

File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did

Re: Competition time!

You're correct.

Re: Competition time!

File extensions can be changed using the rename function. If they're hidden then they can't be changed. It removes the opportunity for fuck ups.

Privacy Shield: EU citizens might get right to challenge US access to their data

Re: rules are viewed by intelligence agencies as applying to other people

I was 11 when I first saw it, Jamie Lee Curtis certainly had an impact on me.

Re: rules are viewed by intelligence agencies as applying to other people

I maintain that True Lies is the last decent James Cameron film.

Russia's naval exercise near Ireland unlikely to involve cable-tapping shenanigans

Re: "It is considered deeply unfashionable to talk about Western cable tapping"

"It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."

― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Do you know what TikTok is? Then you might make a good magistrate, says Ministry of Justice

Re: Valar Morghulis

Decent rain coat will see you right.

Games Workshop has chucked another £500k at entrenched ERP project with no end to epic battle in sight

Profit before tax £88.2m

Or one decent sized Imperial Guard army.

Snap continues to make a spectacle of itself as it tries to trademark the word spectacles

Bunch of pricks

Up there with Peloton. Off they can fuck.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... a coding puzzle and it's a doozy

Re: I challenge you to use a better language...

The turtle moves!

GNU Sir Pterry

Swooping in to claim the glory while the On Call engineer stands baffled

Re: Hey Rob!

One night, a few years ago, a fireworks display was being set up at my rugby club. The lads doing the work has left the lights of the van on so they could see what they were doing, but this ended up flattening the battery. Wasn't room to push it forward so we tried bump starting it in reverse, coming very close to success. After a few tries, we had enough space to successfully do it going forwards.

Rugby players 1, diesel transit 0.

From the studio that brought you 'Mortal Wombat' comes 'Pernicious Possum'

And now I want one as a pet.

There's only one cure for passive-aggressive Space Invader bosses, and that's more passive aggression

Considering the size difference between me and most of my colleagues, I'd probably knock them on their arse.

See, when people invade my personal space, they first get a death stare, followed by instructions to get out of my space. Bob would've been told to fuck off very quickly.

The Ministry of Silly Printing: But I don't want my golf club correspondence to say 'UNCLASSIFIED' at the bottom

Re: An MP today would lose their seat for that

Misattributed:

Skinner: "Half the Tories opposite are crooks."

Speaker: "Please retract that unparliamentary language."

Skinner: "OK, half the Tories opposite are not crooks."

Re: Amateur Opera Society Newsletter

Were they using aria(l)?

Just leaving, don't mind me.

Labour Party supplier ransomware attack: Who holds ex-members' data and on what legal basis?

Re: The Other Lot

The Lib Dems?

Google's 'Be Evil' business transformation is complete: Time for the end game

Re: 42 huh

But it's not the meaning, it's just the answer. What we need is the question.

31-year-old piece of hardware not working very well: Hubble telescope back in safe mode over 'synchronization issues'

Design duration: 15 years

Current duration: 31 years

Expected duration: 36 years+

Several beers for all involved.

BOFH: So you want to have your computer switched out for something faster? It's time to learn from the master

That developer's going places. Possibly wrapped in a roll of carpet.

Instagram is testing feature that tells panicking users the service is broken again

Re: Oh FFS

It's not dead, it's just pining for the fjords.