* Posts by Roq D. Kasba

642 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2015


Coughs and sneezes spread releases: Microsoft's Cosmos DB is getting a freebie tier but you're not meant to know yet

Roq D. Kasba

There is no truth!

Yep - in fact this week I was looking for a "serverless" cloud DB service with small data requirements for a few months for a prototype system I would want to scale. A free month isn't enough to develop against it in my spare time, but being able to have a free forever tier means I have the time to do a full development and I'm in the right place to upgrade to a paid account if the project works out

Don't break your swanky new Motorola Razr, you probably won't be able to get it fixed

Roq D. Kasba

" it's early days for foldable phones"

Made me giggle, anyway

Two missing digits? How about two missing employees in today's story of Y2K

Roq D. Kasba


At least it was still under a byte!

Roq D. Kasba

Re: DBase IV 'databases' (use this term as loosely as possible)

Win2k3 is one thing, but SQL 200, ouch! ;-)

Roq D. Kasba

Re: real issues

I wish that didn't sound entirely plausible

A sprinkling of Star Wars and a dash of Jedi equals a slightly underbaked Rise Of Skywalker

Roq D. Kasba

Re: No surprise there then

All driven by an entitlement to risk free profit. If instead of spunking $200M on a film and the same again on marketing, how about making them at the (still excessive) $20-50M mark, then a fuckload at $5M so you have fresh ideas and fresh blood coming through?

I make movies that get real distribution, you can make a perfectly servicable movie for a million money's, and if you want to scatter in some extra chrome, $5M gets you quite a lot. That's a whole street of houses worth, so of course it gets quite a lot. Instead there's a lot of highly dubious accounting, insane paydays above the line, bringing the director's mates in for unnecessary "main character" cameos, and treating the audience with contempt. Arguably they deserve it for still going to support this tosh.

Five years in the clink for super-crook who scammed Google, Facebook out of $120m with fake tech invoices

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Good accounting

There are some very noteworthy high street brands who

1) Unilaterally discount invoices by 3-5% in return for paying them within their contracted period and.or

2) Unilaterally decide that 105 days to pay to small suppliers is better value to them as a line of free credit than trading honourably.

Roq D. Kasba

Re: He should of just hit normal people

Some might say the return rates were criminally low.

This isn't Boeing very well... Faulty timer knackers Starliner cargo capsule on its way to International Space Station

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Grown up.

Maybe whilst that case is under appeal (and it has extremely good reason to be appealed TBH, the jury potentially made judgement under the wrong variant of whatever the local defamation standard was - calling someone a child rapist is defamitive per se - in and of itself) he's learnt his lesson and is keeping schtum?

With a warehouse of unsold AR goggles, Magic Leap has a brainwave… let’s rebadge ‘em and sell to business!

Roq D. Kasba

AR in table top games

I like the technology behind the Tilt Five offer - not trying to be all things to all comers and able to be affordable accordingly

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot

Roq D. Kasba

Vulture Piss


You can easily secure America's e-voting systems tomorrow. Use paper – Bruce Schneier

Roq D. Kasba

Obligatory Tom Scott


Didn't see it elsewhere

Let's talk about April Fools' Day jokes. Are they ever really harmless?

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Go and have a barBQ

I love those emails shortly followed by recall requests

Tesla big cheese Elon Musk warns staffers to tighten their belts in bid to cut expenses (again)

Roq D. Kasba

Re: I don't get it...

We lose a dollar on each but make it up with volume!

I suspect there's not actually that much of Musk's own cash in these projects, but a lot of local and national government money/tax breaks/incentives plus a bunch of hype cash from Silicon Valley

Russian bots are just for rigging US elections? They hit home, too: Kid stripped of crown in TV contest vote-fix scandal

Roq D. Kasba

SELECT DISTINCT... would solve these things somewhat

'Software delivered to Boeing' now blamed for 737 Max warning fiasco

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Management's job

If you outsource your production, you outsource your reputation. You don't get to cut corners then blame the other guy.

And this is on top of only having a single point of failure with a software patch to avoid having to recertify the airframe. And their cuntyness with Bombardier recently. Frankly Boeing deserve a good kicking right now so the shareholders wake the fuck up and hold the board to account.

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Management's job

Pathetic weaseling out itself tells you the culture is completely fucked up that they're not taking responsibility or accountability for software they designed, ordered, bought, tested, installed and resold.

The attitude tells you the company is not to be trusted with responsibility.

IT bod who does a bit of everything: You might want to specialise if that pay rise proves elusive

Roq D. Kasba

Generalist / DevOps

It's all in a name...

UK comms watchdog mulls 5G tweaks: Operators want moooooar power

Roq D. Kasba

Re: no 5G in Russia soon

Mischief and paranoia distract from real events.

We've read the Mueller report. Here's what you need to know: ██ ██ ███ ███████ █████ ███ ██ █████ ████████ █████

Roq D. Kasba

I'd have gone with ████.

Canadian woman fined for not holding escalator handrail finally reaches the top after 10 years

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Other escalator laws


Surprising absolutely no one at all, Samsung's folding-screen phones knackered within days

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Pretty well Inevitable for an Alpha Version

Especially as they're made out of greased eelskin and so slippy that you need to add a case just to carry them...

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Roman Senators

As long as I can *still* wear my toga in public I'm all for it!

Enough about me, why do you hate Kaspersky so much? Revealed: Insp Clouseau-esque bid to smear critics as shills

Roq D. Kasba

Lambert is a very regal name...

...he's usually accompanied by his Butler

BT Tower broadcasts error message to the nation as Windows displays admin's shame

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Wait until it gets hacked.

I prefer lowercase "o"'s, personal taste

It's not your imagination: Ticket scalper bots are flooding the internet according this 'ere study

Roq D. Kasba

Far worse than you think

Ticket sales aren't just "open the floodgates and first come first served", they're released in tranches - a rush on the initial release is great for stimulating demand and news, but that initial tranche might just be 10% of seats. The ticketing agencies then release some/what they can of tickets through the "secondary" market sites. Promoters own the ticketing companies. And don't imagine the acts aren't complicit - their slice of secondary sales is contractual if the management company have any savvy at all. Freelance scalpers are a good bogeyman to point at and go "oooooh they're evil" when it's institutional scalping.

Surprise, surprise, yet another cryptocurrency creator collared, hit with $6 million fraud rap

Roq D. Kasba


A friend wouldn't listen to sense about the *amazing opportunity* he was being offered to get in on an Initial Coin Offering for (yetanothergenericstringofnumbers). I pointed out that he didn't understand the investment or the product or blockchains or trading or even the people punting the opportunity... and he *still* went ahead.

You can't save people from themselves sometimes.

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

Roq D. Kasba

Guess the disaster

I watched a great Casualty once - a runaway mobility scooter which narrowly avoided people, somehow wasn't crushed by traffic, almost went into the river...and then tipped over sideways. The director had fun taking us on a "Final Destination"-esque stream of near-misses.

Dratted hipster UX designers stole my corporate app

Roq D. Kasba


ClickUp is a fairly competent teamworking programme, but their default UI is multiple mid-greys, making it utterly awful for anyone over the age of 40.

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

Roq D. Kasba

Re: I've stayed at one of the Tokyo ones.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4ONhC6PnpI I see two human-styled robots, plus one raptor.

Who wouldn't want to be checked in by a raptor?

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Memories

There's a classic aviation joke that a cockpit could be staffed by a pilot and a dog. The dog is there to stop anyone from touching the controls, the pilot is there to feed the dog.

Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)

Roq D. Kasba

I learnt to test my WHERE clauses on a DELETE with a SELECT first

The hard way.

'Year-long' delay to UK 5G if we spike Huawei deals, say telcos

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Marconi

You mean dotcomboomandbust1.0?

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Price

£75 with an ePaper screen, just take my money! I wanted a YotaPhone for the epaper screen, but not for the rest of the phone. It would be ideal to compliment my snazzy top-end awesome flagship, somewhat limited video abilities, rudimentary framing etc for the camera, tiny pocket convenience, 4 weeks battery, bloody awesome.

Roq D. Kasba

Waiting for the unbranded knockoff priced right

I'm sure you can get this 90% right for £50, and someone will.

Pencil manufacturers rejoice: Oz government doesn't like e-voting

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Use a pen!!!!

That Tom Scott video ought to be a public information film.

OM5G... Qualcomm teases next Snapdragon chip for phones: The 855 with a fingerprint Sonic Screwdriver, er, Sensor

Roq D. Kasba

Re: It's all about the bass

So loud you have to repeat yourself, in fact ;-)

Blockchain study finds 0.00% success rate and vendors don't call back when asked for evidence

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Blockchain is perfect

Stable genius.

Giraffe hacks printers worldwide to promote God-awful YouTuber. Did we read that one right?

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Get me a babysitter

Nathan Barley incarnate.

Microsoft: You looking at me funny? Oh, you just want to sign in

Roq D. Kasba


Far too few NONCE gags here in the comments.

Boom! Just like that the eSIM market emerges – and jolly useful it is too

Roq D. Kasba

Re: cold day in hell

I thought that for a couple of iterations, but suddenly spotted a great carrier subsidy-based deal where the flagship phone was bundled. The SIM-only contract for the same data/calls/texts was £27/month, the package just £30, so it made a heap of sense to pay 24months x £3 for the device.

But at the contract end I'll be quite open to going SIM only again...

Dot-com web addresses prices to swell, thanks to sweetheart deal between Uncle Sam, Verisign

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Can someone explain this to me?

@Mongo I think you mean "repopulate the swamp"

Imperial bringing in budget holograms to teach students

Roq D. Kasba


There's no more to say

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Roq D. Kasba

How about John Snow?

The discover of epidemiology and avid collector of pump handles.

Samsung’s flexible phone: Expect an expensive, half-bendy clamshell

Roq D. Kasba

Re: I still think a bifold device will be a market failure

>>>porn is in 16:9<<<

that's a 69 with a spare prick.

Spent your week box-ticking? It can't be as bad as the folk at this firm

Roq D. Kasba

I had the opposite experience

Big company had an outsourced payroll system which required a server on the corporate network to have a very special (poorly locked down) configuration, and for the outsourced payroll company to use a shared login to access it monthly. Terrible topography, unforgivably bad, but that's what happens when you let HR manager their own IT and bring in their own contractors.

Anyway, this thing was badly out of date, a massive security risk, and the company (a very, very big computer company) main IT security branch were on the warpath having a tidy up after a lot of lines of core product code were stolen. The hardware was on expensive extended warranty, the server took loads of rack space and needed attention. Turned out this "critical" system was just to allow a few thousand people electronic access to their payslips. Many would anyway print a copy on the company's printers.

For less than the price of the warranty, security violation special monitoring, rack space and power let alone license fee and development time, I worked out that we could print and post all the payslips directly to everybody's homes each month. This was turned down for appearances sake for a tech company!! They would rather pour money into a shit old system breaching all security guidelines, create extra policy work for everyone, all sorts out of embarrassment.

Roq D. Kasba

Re: references

Yes, the beauty of feint praise to condemn

Enigma message crack honours pioneering Polish codebreakers

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Polish contributions

They've always been present in my understanding of the affair in the UK, perhaps in the circumstances UK and Poland have a lot of shared history regarding WW2...

Roq D. Kasba

Re: Missed opportunity

She may be less physically sprightly then she was 75 years ago, in fairness.

Article Removed

Roq D. Kasba

Really? This is bizarre.

I hope this actually is a joke, I did even check if it was a ¡Bong! article.

So I am invited to use pay pay to pay for a thing, which I then use to pay for a thing.