284 posts • joined 2 Jun 2015
I used some FEA (Finite Element Analysis) software in the early 90s. It was from a US company and I had to sign an end user certificate to declare the ultimate destination of the software was not on a list of prohibited countries. Scanned through the list and there were the usual suspects eg Iran, Yemen, etc. but the one that stood out was Vietnam. Thirty years is a long time to hold a grudge.
Arrived at a job interview with really long hair and a huge, bushranger beard (it was Australia, after all). I hadn't cut my hair or shaved for 14 months, so you can imagine what I looked like. It was a highly technical, R&D, programming role, so it sort of fitted the 'eccentric mad man' vibe. I must've impressed them as they offered me the job!
About a year into the position, I shaved my beard off and had a really short hair cut over a long weekend. Arrived at work wearing a suit, tie and different sunglasses and *nobody* recognised me! Missed opportunity really as I should've robbed a bank.
In a previous company, many years ago, they decided to move to agile development. We all went on agile training, were given a lovely whiteboard and a whole stack of Post-It notes. We wrote our stories/tasks on the Post-It notes and stuck them in swim lanes on the whiteboard. Only problem was the Post-It notes weren't quite sticky enough and fell down during the night, to be cleaned up by our over zealous cleaner!
My ex-boss splurged about £30k on a top of the line Mac Pro, complete with 768GB of RAM plus two £5k Apple display monitors *and* £1k stands. He also spanked about £3k on some nVME RAID drives. Bet he's really p!553d off that it's all obsolete now!
Apple supported Rosetta for a little bit during the transition from PowerPC. If the developer of that critical piece of software had gone out of business, or didn't/couldn't want to port to x86, then you were stuck. I'm sure that Apple has learnt the value of backwards compatibility and long term support. /sarcasm
Watson is given a 4 rating (well below average) in it's annual performance review and is put on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan) for failing to meet its PBC (Personal Business Commitments). Inevitably, it is fired for 'poor performance' after previously getting all 1 ratings (well above average). Watson sues IBM for age discrimination but IBM drags out the case for years.
Watson dies of old age in a nursing home for obscure code (Github). The Register marks its passing in a footnote to an article about Big Blue's latest tech. Gartner is too busy working on its Hype Cycle to notice. IBM awards its CEO a bonus and a new helicopter; revenue continues to fall.
Many years later, a young software undergrad stumbles across the code on Github and forks the repo. After a few months of sleepless nights, she manages to get the code to build and run, but most of the tests are broken. Undeterred, she drops out of college, puts together a convincing PowerPoint deck touting its benefits and a flaky demo. She speculatively forms a startup and does the rounds of VC's (Venture Captialists) in Silicon Valley. A bidding war erupts and she cashes out to ... IBM.
Worked with a bloke whose first job was doing Crystal Reports (or something similar) to generate annual safety certificates for lift inspections. After a few years, he realised there was a bug in his code which automatically approved *every* inspection. He quietly fixed the issue and was *very* relieved there were no incidents.
Ordered a pizza in 1999, during the early days of the internet. Entered my credit card details, clicked submit and waited... I suspect that it just faxed an order to the local pizza shop. Anyway, my Thai yellow chicken curry pizza (goes well with beer!) arrived after 45 mins. The most amazing thing was not that the pizza combination was awful but that it arrived at all.
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