* Posts by trevorde

284 posts • joined 2 Jun 2015

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AWS Aurora PostgreSQL versions vanish from the mega-cloud for days, leaving customers in the dark

trevorde

Obligatory xkcd

https://xkcd.com/908/

Who cares what Apple's about to announce? It owes us a macOS x86 virtual appliance for non-Mac computers

trevorde

We don't owe you anything! You owe us! We own you!

Best wishes

T. Cook

IBM made ‘top-down’ efforts to fire older workers, says US employment discrimination watchdog

trevorde

No one is safe

Especially if you're a woman:

https://www.theregister.com/2020/08/28/ibm_whistleblower_wins_22k_compensation/

DPL: Debian project has plenty of money but not enough developers

trevorde

Re: Ubuntu et al

Per the headline, the issue is devs, not money.

Q: How does hydrogen turn into a metal? A: Hang on a second, I need to train my AI supercomputer first

trevorde

Quantum computing

We just need more cats

Brexit border-line issues: Would you want to still be 'testing' software designed to stop Kent becoming a massive lorry park come 31 December?

trevorde
FAIL

Don't panic!

Grayling's in charge of this one!

Hidden Linux kernel security fixes spotted before release – by using developer chatter as a side channel

trevorde

Given enough eyeballs, all exploits are shallow

What a time for a TITSUP*: Santander down and out on pre-Bank Holiday payday

trevorde

SNAFU

Upgrading a critical system. On a Friday. Which is payday. At the end of the month. Before a Bank Holiday long weekend. What could possibly go wrong?

IBM ordered to pay £22k to whistleblower and told by judges: Teach your managers what discrimination means

trevorde

And what happened to the managers?

Probably a promotion and fat bonus for showing so much initiative. Maybe a private reprimand for getting caught. It is the IBM way.

Palantir: Never made a profit, we do something with family-separating ICE, we just lost $580m – please join our IPO

trevorde

Re: Bait for some corporate mega-sucker

At least Autonomy was (allegedly) making a profit

What legacy is IBM really shooting for? Cheating its own salespeople out of millions? Here we go again, allegedly

trevorde

Truly uncapped commissions

One of our friends owned a company and used to fret about how to give her sales people *more* commission. She knew the more they made, the more she made. Sales people from across the industry were lining up to work for her.

Not now, Gartner. We've had enough of the future to last a lifetime: Meet 'Formative AI' and 'Algorithmic Trust'

trevorde

New phase on Hype Cycle

"Tomb of Regret"

just after "Peak of Inflated Expectations", it is where technologies go to die before being resurrected several years later to reappear on "Innovation Trigger" eg virtual/augmented reality

India selects RISC-V for semiconductor self-sufficiency contest: Use these homegrown cores to build kit

trevorde

Can't forgive, won't forget

I used some FEA (Finite Element Analysis) software in the early 90s. It was from a US company and I had to sign an end user certificate to declare the ultimate destination of the software was not on a list of prohibited countries. Scanned through the list and there were the usual suspects eg Iran, Yemen, etc. but the one that stood out was Vietnam. Thirty years is a long time to hold a grudge.

Sun welcomes vampire dating website company: Arrgh! No! It burns! It buuurrrrnsss!

trevorde

Appearances can be deceptive

Arrived at a job interview with really long hair and a huge, bushranger beard (it was Australia, after all). I hadn't cut my hair or shaved for 14 months, so you can imagine what I looked like. It was a highly technical, R&D, programming role, so it sort of fitted the 'eccentric mad man' vibe. I must've impressed them as they offered me the job!

About a year into the position, I shaved my beard off and had a really short hair cut over a long weekend. Arrived at work wearing a suit, tie and different sunglasses and *nobody* recognised me! Missed opportunity really as I should've robbed a bank.

NHS tests COVID-19 contact-tracing app that may actually work properly – EU neighbors lent a helping hand

trevorde

Will anyone use it?

I'm looking at you, Dominic Cummings!

VMware 'rebalances' with layoffs that converge hyperconverged team

trevorde
Trollface

VMware - now part of IBM

'Regular workforce rebalancing' - just have to give C-suite huge bonuses and it sounds like the perfect cultural fit for IBM

/troll

What looks like a global pay freeze, sounds like a global pay freeze, but isn't a global pay freeze? Ask IBM

trevorde

Business as usual

"We will still be having our six monthly rounds of 'Resource Actions' and 'workforce rebalancing' "

Softbank confirms talks to offload Arm as it posts rebound profit

trevorde

You could say the same thing about Manchester United (football club)

EY to outsource compute function, sending 800 staff into the loving arms of... IBM

trevorde

Clock has started

One year to find a new job or its 'resource action' aka 'workforce rebalancing' aka 'redundancy'

Self-driving car supremo Anthony Levandowski sentenced to 18 months in the clink for stealing trade secrets from Google's Waymo

trevorde

All for nought

He stole all that technology and Uber's self driving cars *still* manage to run people over

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

trevorde

Smart assistants only need to understand one thing

Me: Alexa! Shut the f*$k up!

Alexa: [stops playing music or whatever it is saying]

Is that croaky voicemail of your CEO just a Fakey McFake Fake – or does he normally ask you to wire him $1m?

trevorde

Re: a "software-generated voicemail message"

We should get scared when AI impersonates a Boss in real time, rather than a pre-recorded message

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Hang on, the PDP 11/70 has dropped offline

trevorde

Clean Agile Development

In a previous company, many years ago, they decided to move to agile development. We all went on agile training, were given a lovely whiteboard and a whole stack of Post-It notes. We wrote our stories/tasks on the Post-It notes and stuck them in swim lanes on the whiteboard. Only problem was the Post-It notes weren't quite sticky enough and fell down during the night, to be cleaned up by our over zealous cleaner!

Amazon's auditing of Alexa Skills is so good, these boffins got all 200+ rule-breaking apps past the reviewers

trevorde

Best. Alexa. Skill. Ever.

Me: Alexa! Tell me a fart joke.

Alexa: The fart skill is not enabled by default. Would you like to enable it?

Me: YES! YES! YES!

Alexa: [starts telling fart jokes]

ReactOS hits a milestone – actually hiring a full-time developer. And we've got our talons on the latest build to see what needs fixing

trevorde
Trollface

2020 ...

... will be the year of the ReactOS desktop

/troll

Cornwall councillor suggests authority paid £2m for Oracle licences that no one used on contract originally worth £4m

trevorde

Cheaper option

Than wrangling with Oracle's licencing team :-(

Road trip on Mars: Thrill as Curiosity rover races up to 0.06 miles per hour. Marvel as it takes a mile-long detour

trevorde

Real reason for detour

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2313986/Clarkson-proud-Tracks-left-Nasas-Mars-rover-reveal-obscene-penis-picture-red-planet.html

Languishing lodash library loophole finally fitted for a fix: It's only taken since October to address security bug

trevorde

Bus Factor = 1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_factor

One does not simply repurpose an entire internet constellation for sat-nav, but UK might have a go anyway

trevorde

Brexit technology

What's wrong with a brass sextant and clockwork chronometer? If it was good enough for Captain Cook, it's more that good enough for us!

Apple says if developers are unhappy with its App Store decisions, it will entertain appeals against its rulings – and even its own rules

trevorde

Smells like

App Store theatre ie all for show with the same result

Apple to keep Intel at Arm's length: macOS shifts from x86 to homegrown common CPU arch, will run iOS apps

trevorde

Cock of the walk one week, feather duster the next

My ex-boss splurged about £30k on a top of the line Mac Pro, complete with 768GB of RAM plus two £5k Apple display monitors *and* £1k stands. He also spanked about £3k on some nVME RAID drives. Bet he's really p!553d off that it's all obsolete now!

AWS won't sell facial-recog tool to police for a year – other law enforcement agencies are in the clear

trevorde
Trollface

FTFY

Rekognition has been found to misidentify criminals as members of Congress ...

MacOS on Arm talk intensifies: Just weeks from now, Apple to serve up quarantini with Kalamata golive, reportedly

trevorde
FAIL

x86 support for at least one year (maybe)

Apple supported Rosetta for a little bit during the transition from PowerPC. If the developer of that critical piece of software had gone out of business, or didn't/couldn't want to port to x86, then you were stuck. I'm sure that Apple has learnt the value of backwards compatibility and long term support. /sarcasm

All-electric plane makes first flight – while lugging 2 tons of batteries aloft

trevorde

Recharging time?

Will probably have to exchange batteries at the destination

Watch an oblivious Tesla Model 3 smash into an overturned truck on a highway 'while under Autopilot'

trevorde

Re: Call it what it is

Wonder how many people would use it if they called it 'Artificial Guessing'?

This'll make you feel old: Uni compsci favourite Pascal hits the big five-oh this year

trevorde
Pint

When I were a lad...

Cut my programming teeth with 'Think Pascal' on a Mac, then 'Turbo Pascal' on MS-DOS. 'Delphi' and 'C++ Builder' were years ahead of their time. Makes me all misty eyed and nostalgic now. Time for a beer!

Before IBM started axing staff, it told them Q3 2020 would be super-busy with post-lockdown catch-up jobs

trevorde

Take some leave DCM

Don't Come Monday

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters

trevorde

Just like a movie

Logan's Run

Rust marks five years since its 1.0 release: The long and winding road actually works

trevorde

Follow the money!

Unfortunately, it still leads to javascript :-(

IBM to GTS staff: Not volunteering to leave with a redundo cheque? We'll give you a helping hand

trevorde

I thought companies had given up on voluntary redundancies because all the good people take it and they get left with the dead wood. Mind you, with the number of Resource Actions at Big Blue, all that's left is probably dead wood by now.

trevorde

At least one full time job

At this rate, Employee Consultation Committee (ECC) will be a permanent position!

If at first you don't succeed... IBM finds Watson a new job: IT ops and cloud-to-the-edge computing in the 5G era

trevorde

What happened next

Watson is given a 4 rating (well below average) in it's annual performance review and is put on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan) for failing to meet its PBC (Personal Business Commitments). Inevitably, it is fired for 'poor performance' after previously getting all 1 ratings (well above average). Watson sues IBM for age discrimination but IBM drags out the case for years.

Watson dies of old age in a nursing home for obscure code (Github). The Register marks its passing in a footnote to an article about Big Blue's latest tech. Gartner is too busy working on its Hype Cycle to notice. IBM awards its CEO a bonus and a new helicopter; revenue continues to fall.

Epilogue:

Many years later, a young software undergrad stumbles across the code on Github and forks the repo. After a few months of sleepless nights, she manages to get the code to build and run, but most of the tests are broken. Undeterred, she drops out of college, puts together a convincing PowerPoint deck touting its benefits and a flaky demo. She speculatively forms a startup and does the rounds of VC's (Venture Captialists) in Silicon Valley. A bidding war erupts and she cashes out to ... IBM.

Find your wallet, Apple: Ex-engineer adds eight more patents to lawsuit seeking credit for his developer work

trevorde

Patents are worthless

Worked in several companies where colleagues were named as an inventor on the company's patents. In all cases, they were awarded a beautiful certificate of achievement, in a handsome plastic frame and round of applause.

Red Hat’s new CEO on surviving inside Big Blue: 'We don’t participate in IBM's culture. It’s that simple'

trevorde

Mandatory Participation

Resource Actions

workforce rebalancing

firing older, experienced, expensive staff

offshoring

Elevating cost-cutting to a whole new level with million-dollar bar bills

trevorde
Thumb Up

Rubber Stamp

Worked with a bloke whose first job was doing Crystal Reports (or something similar) to generate annual safety certificates for lift inspections. After a few years, he realised there was a bug in his code which automatically approved *every* inspection. He quietly fixed the issue and was *very* relieved there were no incidents.

The rumor that just won't die: Apple to keep Intel at Arm's length in 2021 with launch of 'A14-powered laptops'

trevorde
Trollface

Irrelevant

Apple have less than 10% (and falling) of the desktop market. Further, they don't care about backward compatibility, unlike Microsoft. Thus, Apple can do what they want because NO ONE CARES.

What's vexing Linux-loving Gophers? A few things: Go devs want generics, easier debugging

trevorde

Caught in the middle with Go

Learnt Go for a project at work, after 20+ years C++/C# experience. I can't decide if it's an up market C++ or a down market C#.

Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style

trevorde

WORST. PIZZA. EVER.

Ordered a pizza in 1999, during the early days of the internet. Entered my credit card details, clicked submit and waited... I suspect that it just faxed an order to the local pizza shop. Anyway, my Thai yellow chicken curry pizza (goes well with beer!) arrived after 45 mins. The most amazing thing was not that the pizza combination was awful but that it arrived at all.

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

trevorde
Trollface

Bargain!

I thought the price was per wheel, so $699 for four is a steal!

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