Posts by DivisionBell

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years

@Huxley

I say old chap, I was weaned on Marmite, I'll have you know.

Are you Australian? (No sexual offence meant.)

Windows Vista has been battered, says Wall Street fan

@Glyn

I would say you are more of a curmudgeon than a luddite.

Swedish authorities pull plug on female Elvis

It's better than...

Georquesha.

Yes, I actually know two young ladies named Georqueshæ (or is that Georqueshas?).

Topless Liverpudlians confined to tropical fish stores

Liver-boobs

Just to clear up the topless liver-birds in tropical fish shops legal issue, this law was enacted to allow ladies working in said shops to extract chosen fish for a customer from the holding aquarium without getting their blouses wet and subsequently having to work a whole day in sodden discomfort. The law-makers clearly hadn't thought through the potential delights of a day-long wet t-shirt contest but I applaud their sympathy for the well-being of Liverpool's lady tropical fish vendors.

Hey car thief! Gonna shut you down

Software?

I think you mean "embedded hardware" don't you, mate. ;-)

Apple lobs $100 credit at iPhone buyers

Good job, Jobs

Jobs is both an idiot and a genius: He should never have kowtowed to the twits who paid $600 for an iPhone by giving a rebate of any sort (the idiot) but, realizing what twits they are, he is now luring them into his stores to spend even more (the genius).

Brilliant!

The iPhone was *offered for sale* at $600 - no one forced anyone to buy it. I wanted a T-Mobile MDA when they came out and they were offered for $400; I declined. The MDA is now going for $80; I'm thinking about it.

68 days is actually what everyone is whining about, not the $600. I think it's miraculous that Jobs waited 68 days at all. It was really quite considerate of him.

Eurostar inaugurates UK high-speed track

Thomas the Tank Engine

As a nipper in the countryside, I traveled to school in the next village by train for a year. That was the year before that f*&^%$# idiot Beecham closed most of our railways and tore up all the tracks. England gave up its extensive railway infrastructure and now languishes in a predominantly automobile society instead of what could have been a country with a better rail system than Switzerland which, since the early eighties, boasts at least one train per hour to every other station in the country. In other words, this mess is entirely our own stupid fault.

Acer to grab Gateway for $710m

Worth the waitt?

Why is a $710m price tag worth the wait over a $7bn offer 10 years earlier? I took the day off yesterday and, of course, need some re-training today but I just can't figure this one out. Compac's offer was (almost) ten times greater (and that's using the US version of a billion). Someone please explain...

Stripogram councillor rocks Devon Lib Dems

All good fun...

Stripper outs Lib Dem Church member, two Inches short.