* Posts by MAF

132 posts • joined 28 May 2015


I heard somebody say: Burn baby, burn – server inferno!


Re: "Yeah, but it's a dry heat"

No they're special. Treat them well.

Take them out for a trip in the woods....and leave them there.

US Homeland Security mistakenly seizes British ad agency's website in prostitution probe gone wrong


Re: "justice and fairness"

See the Superman: Red Son DC Comic series...

You'll never select all and mark as read again after this tale of peril... Oh, who are we kidding? Of course you will


Makes a change from the usual hole that IT users dig themselves into...

Remember that Sonos speaker you bought a few years back that works perfectly? It's about to be screwed for... reasons


Re: Or a Kryten icon...

Sonos is creating a Silicon heaven for it's products?

British Army down thousands of soldiers after outsourcing recruitment IT to Capita


Go traditional

They could just go traditional and set up shop in dark alleyways in places like Leith (Insert city here).

Rated PG for Press-gang...

Worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable and royalty-free: Amazon's Alexa NHS contract released


Re: Dead peoples health records

No the NHS Data privacy regulations protect living & dead patients and overarch the GDPR/DPA regs.

Christmas in tatters for Nottinghamshire tots after mayor tells them Santa's too busy


Ahem - Chairper-thingies to avoid any male-specific words FTFY


Bare-faced lies are a critical component in the tool belt of politics.


20% of UK businesses would rather axe their contractors than deal with IR35 – survey


Or as HMRC says "Taxes shouldn't be taxing" - muppets

Thanks, Brexit. Tesla boss Elon Musk reveals Berlin as location for Euro Gigafactory


Please not the old Southampton chestnut...


Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?


Re: Tobacco smoke

Working in the era of DecMates word-processing system used by our typing pool (That description is akin to carbon-dating). Yes, they smoked and drank at the keyboard and yes, their keyboards would stop working.

Would swap them for working keyboard and work on duff one. Shake it upside down to remove paper-clips, biscuit crumbs and staples (and once tinsel fragments!).

Most major mistake was to do a thorough job by infusing keyboard with Isoprop alcohol and watching in horror at the disgusting resultant yellow/orange nicotine solution draining out of the accursed device

Scariest thing about Halloween? HMRC and Defra systems still a risk to post-Brexit borders


Government message: Get ready for Brexit

Because we've done fsck-all on our side...

Conspiracy loons claim victory in Brighton and Hove as council rejects plans to build 5G masts


Re: Who cares?

I thought that they already had...

HP to hike upfront price of printer hardware as ink biz growth runs dry


Of course, it could result in people not buying HP at all


Used to be expensive well-built printers with expensive consumables but cheap 3rd party ink/toner available & usable with ignorable nag-ware about

used/'counterfeit' consumables

Move to cheap nasty inexpensive hardware with expensive consumables with 'chips' to stop 3rd-party (until subverted by 3rd parties)

Now move to pricier cheap-to-make hardware with expensive consumables with another lock-out

Do they really believe that we just exist to transfer money from our wallets to theirs regardless?

Oracle demands $12K from network biz that doesn't use its software


12K - so that's what two Oracle licences...?

Thanks-thanks to TalkTalk teen hacker: UK cops' first auction of ill-gotten Bitcoin nets £240k


Who needs that much Bitcoin

It would be ironic if the buyer was a State that was paying off Ransomware criminals...

Scotiabank slammed for 'muppet-grade security' after internal source code and credentials spill onto open internet


Re: Mean Mr. Mustard

Worse yet, one of the positive things about Microsoft buying Github was that they changed the free tier to include unlimited private repos. So not an excuse even for cheap-skates...

The wheels on the bus go round and... Oh dear. Chancellor Sajid Javid unveils spending review


Re: His father was a bus driver?

Reading that (Javids aside) gave me this ear worm

Lonnie Donegon https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Old_Man%27s_a_Dustman


Yes - it's those fun-loving Swedes...



How about a show of some conviction in this initiative - take away their ministerial cars & issue each MP with a bus pass.

Let's see how they manage like the rest of us.

There are other countries where the politicians use public transport after all...

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ


Appropriate GB quote for this article?

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

The purple SIM of fail: Virgin Mobile punters left in the dark with batch of borked cards


Could it be that the new sims are just red sims with a case of the blues...?

I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™


Moral: Never give your name

What's your name?

Don't tell him Pike!

Six-day cruise lies ahead for India's Chandrayaan-2 probe before the real lunar shenanigans begin


Several of the Apollo 3rd stages & LEM upper stages were lunar impacted.

Along with sensor packages near LEM lower stages they provided info about moon geological structure.


Choc-a-block: AWS sues sales exec for legging it to Google Cloud. Yup, another bitter battle over non-compete clauses


If shoe were on other foot?

Additionally, if they dismiss an employee then they (AWS) ought to pay gardening leave for the period of the cause in addition to any redundancy package.

Also, an employment contract can be terminated by either party. Once the contract is terminated, surely any clause is null and void?

Oracle told to warp 9 out of court: Judge photon-torpedoes Big Red's Pentagon JEDI dream


Re: TWO Star Trek references??

Speed Standard by five

Blackburn ain't big enough for the both of us: Mr Creamy and Mr Whippy at the centre of new ice-cream war


Return to the Cold War days?

Drone fliers are either 'clueless, careless or criminal' says air traffic gros fromage


'clueless, careless or criminal'

Pretty much the classification for most MPs these days too...

Brexit: Digital border possible for Irish backstop woes, UK MPs told



In the interests of transparent democracy the plans and report will go on public display.

Published on a bus.

Bill G on Microsoft's biggest blunder... Was it Bing, Internet Explorer, Vista, the antitrust row?


MS & music

Cough, cough, Zune, cough....

2,500 years ago, these folks weren't cremated – but their funeral-goers were absolutely baked: Earliest evidence of pot smoking discovered


High society

Didn't realise that the Tory party existed then!

UK Space Agency cracks open its wallet, fishes out a paltry £2m for Brit plans to return to orbit


2M to develop non-existent infrastructure.

Chris Grayling isn't involved is he...?

Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin successfully lobs another capsule beyond the edge of space


Bell-curve of driving ability

That depends - have you seen how some taxi drivers drive?

So, that's cheerio the nou to Dundee Satellite Receiving Station: Over 40 years of service axed for the sake of £338,000


New Reg unit?

That's about the retirement pension of 3 MP (just saying)

Kent bloke incurs the anchor of local council after fly-tipping boat


Did he appear at a caught herring?

Who had 'one week in' for a Making Tax Digital c0ckup? Well done, you win... absolutely nothing


Colour me shocked - really...


Campaigners cry foul over NHS Digital plans to grant policy wonks and researchers access to patient-level data


Re: Sod off.

Actually you (or rather your surviving relatives) can.

NHS data protect differs from 'normal' data protection in that the patient identifiable data is protected for the deceased as well as the living.

At last! A solution for those unable to wrench their gaze from Windows 10... Er, it's Your Phone


Missed a trick with the name

Should have been MePhone to further distance it from iPhone

Holy sh*tsnacks! Danger zone! Edinburgh Uni's Archer 2 super 'puter will cost a cool £79m


Re: For that money...

Wow, that's a really Deep Thought... :-)

NASA's crap infosec could be 'significant threat' to space ops


Re: apparently too small of a budget

Ever read "The Cuckoo's egg" by Clifford Still? German hacker was in several military & scientific systems and the NSA just sat there sipping on authors information and did sweet FA...

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist


Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

Cloud Attack Dogs option - You mean Azure-Nuts 365?

While this CEO may be stiff, his customers are rather stuffed: Quadriga wallets finally cracked open – nothing inside



Have they tried looking down the back of the sofa?

How do you solve a problem like Galileo? With a strap-on L-band payload, of course!


Re: when has spending money on a Nigerian scheme ever gone wrong

Also he will never bite as they actually HAVE a satellite. He's only interested in splurging tax-payers money on companies/orgs that don't actually have any assets...

How big is the UK space industry? It hauled in £14.8bn for 2016/2017 – report


Re: Space Brexit?

Yep - let's chuck it out of an airlock...

A Delta IV Heavy heads for space at last while New Horizons' fumes OK for 'future missions'



Musk's rocketeers - surely we can abbreviate this further.

I propose Musk-eteers...

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate


Scotty mis-quote

Ye canna change the laws of the State...

American bloke hauls US govt into court after border cops 'cuffed him, demanded he unlock his phone at airport'


Re: Like many laws, a smokescreen for dominance

$2500 ? That's Trump change...

Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit


And Reese-Mogg is a Robot in a man suit - strange times...

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner


I miss the Register recipes

I'll just leave this here and retreat to a safe distance (Probably China or Australia)


China on its way to becoming the first nation to land on the far side of the Moon


Clarke time

I'm sure they'll let us know about any Black monoliths they find



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