* Posts by TomPhan

152 posts • joined 12 May 2015

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So you really didn't touch the settings at all, huh? Well, this print-out from my secret backup says otherwise

TomPhan

The Florida Man wants to remind you

Think of how much cancer that would cause.

Mirror mirror on the wall, why will my mouse not work at all?

TomPhan

Re: Foot switch

Foot pedals are in common use with transcription services to strop and start audio.

TomPhan

Re: re: Midget Porn Collection

Did autocorrect change it to "disks"?

TomPhan

Supposedly it was Solitaire for drag n drop, and Minesweeper for left and right clicking.

Stuck inside with nothing to do? Apple fires out security fixes for iOS, macOS, wrist-puters... and something weird called iTunes for Windows

TomPhan

Stuck Inside With Nothing to Do?

Don't I wish - been WFH for years so nothing has changed and I'm looking in disbelief at all these people saying they're climbing the walls after a week.

Sure, check through my background records… but why are you looking at my record collection?

TomPhan

Re: I suppose they'd raise an eyebrow or two ...

Father in law died, sister in law took his collection of rare jazz albums and sold it in a market before I could stop her. Any one of them was worth more than she got for all of them.

TomPhan

Gary Glitter

Isn't that the album where the hole for the spindle goes right through the image on the label in a most inappropriate place?

TomPhan

Re: Peter Gabriel

Part of Solsbury Hill is him saving "you're playing the record backwards" reversed.

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

TomPhan

No such thing as a stupid question

just questions asked by stupid people

It's Terpin time: Bloke who was SIM jacked twice by Bitcoin thieves gets green light to sue telco for millions

TomPhan

Weasel words

The phrase “cannot guarantee that your Personal Information will never be disclosed in a manner inconsistent with Policy” sounds like they want an out for everything.

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

TomPhan

We need a full sized poster

I bet there's lots of people who want to have that poster on their wall.

Who needs the A-Team or MacGyver when there's a techie with an SCSI cable?

TomPhan
Devil

Depends on how much you want to wind up someone.

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

TomPhan
FAIL

It could be worse

It took most of the day before the team investigating it at our company thought to look at any of the media to see if it wasn't an external issue.

Will Asimov fix my doorbell? There should be a law about this

TomPhan
Unhappy

If you want AI futures

Then "With Folded Hands" or "I Have No Mouth ad Cannot Scream" seem the most likely.

TomPhan

Re: A Double Edged Sword

Would you like some toast?

AppSheet. Gesundheit! Oh, we see – it's Google pulling no-code development into a cloudy embrace

TomPhan
Devil

Re: Borland Builder

Perhaps Microsoft will one day bring back VB6...

Apple calls BS on FBI, AG: We're totally not dragging our feet in murder probe iPhone decryption. PS: No backdoors

TomPhan
Thumb Down

The keys to the backdoor would never be leaked

After all, nobody has ever copied the keys to the NSA luggage locks

Want to live long and prosper? Avoid pirated, malware-laden Star Wars free vid streams – and pay to watch instead

TomPhan
FAIL

Troma, Full Moon, Kanopy, Brown Sugar, Boomerang

Given the ever growing number of legit streaming services, and the exclusives each one has, it's easy for someone to search and not know the link they're trying is dodgy.

Oi, Queenslander who downloaded 26.8TB in June alone – we see you

TomPhan

That was pretty much our attitude when we had to start paying Comcast another $50 a month to get "unlimited".

Doogee Wowser: The S40's a terrible smartphone, but a passable projectile

TomPhan

Hitting someone in the eye with a phone...

and there was no reference to that's how you make an iPhone? What sort of journalists in El Reg hiring these days?

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

TomPhan

You should really tag that with a spoiler alert,

In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze

TomPhan

Elm?

So where's the Stob story on this one?

TomPhan

Re: What's the new language half-life these days?

The Mythical Man-Moth is a far better read.

Taxi for Uber: Ride-hailing app giant stripped of licence to operate in London

TomPhan

Lieben heisst lieben

If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is: Nobody can decrypt the Dharma ransomware

TomPhan

Re: Can someone explain.....

Better still is when the data grows large enough to require two tapes for the entire system - so they put the first one in, let the process run, come back and see that the tape has been ejected and there's a message on the screen saying to insert a tape to continue... Decades ago, so no idea on the wording, but it was ambiguous enough that for a lot of the time both parts went onto the first tape.

TomPhan

Re: Can someone explain.....

You need to do the back-ups when nobody is on the system, so that's going to be the middle of the night, so why not let the security staff do it as part of their rounds. That was the logic used by one of our clients.

'Sophisticated' cyber attack on UK Labour Party platforms was probably just a DDoS, says official

TomPhan

Conservatives win, Brexit probably happens, which could mean Europe and Britain have less influence and power. Pretty much in line with Russian goals.

Heads up from Internet of S*!# land: Best Buy's Insignia 'smart' home gear will become very dumb this Wednesday

TomPhan

Re: This is inevitable

You turn off your TV?

IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen

TomPhan

Re: Overtime

One of the two time reporting systems we have to use goes from Sunday to Saturday, but has to be completed by Friday morning. So Friday and Saturdays hours are known to be fictitious.

Radio nerd who sipped NHS pager messages then streamed them via webcam may have committed a crime

TomPhan

So the ones which aren't outdated can be retained? There's plenty of places in hospitals where the only working alternative to a pager is someone running into every room looking for someone and telling them the message.

Rekognition still racist, politicians desperate over deepfakes, and a good reason to go to (some) music festivals

TomPhan

Dazzle camouflage (which is where the phrase "razzle dazzle" came from).

Lies, damn lies, and KPIs: Let's not fix the formula until we have someone else to blame

TomPhan

We have a target of patients not waiting longer than 10 minutes - so the trick is to call patients before that then have them sat in a room till someone can get to them, because that time isn't monitored.

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

TomPhan

Did they promise to get the body in the coffin in the ground on time?

Ebuygumm doesn't break t' Nominet rules, eBay and Gumtree told

TomPhan

Re: As a Yorkshire lad

But if we're given it for free, of course we'll take it.

TomPhan

Re: Careful with money?

One definition was that a Yorkshireman was a Scot with the generosity squeezed out.

COBOL: Five little letters that if put on a CV would ensure stable income for many a greybeard coder

TomPhan

Re: 60 years of Algol 60

30+ years ago I'd get phone calls from customers whose mainframes had crashed, and have to tell them which switches to flip to enter each line of the bootstrap (the bootstrap loader to be honest, just enough code to get it to read the disk and load the real bootstrap).

TomPhan

Re: IF Year > 50

The days when software security meant getting a strong enough elastic band.

Multitasking is a myth: It means doing lots of things equally badly

TomPhan

Re: The English language includes support for lists

I want barbecue sauce and prawn cocktail flavour.

TomPhan

Re: Explaining jobs

I thought high streets were for bookmakers and charity shops?

Though I guess banks could fit in either category.

BOFH: We must... have... beer! Only... cure... for... electromagnetic fields

TomPhan

Re: EM sensitivity is like UFOs

You've heard of "lines of code", that's what the chemtrails are, they're rewriting the cloud.

TomPhan

Re: Irradiated Haggis

standing on a wall

4691 irradiated haggis standing on a wall

and if one irradiated haggis should accidentally mutate into something which could walk away

there'd be

4690 irradiated haggis standing on a wall

Consumer campaign to keep receiving printed till receipts looks like a good move – on paper

TomPhan

Re: Fade Away

The thermal printing only lasts a few weeks.

TomPhan

email it to the company

If a company asks for an email address for something that doesn't require one I'll give them an address based on the company's domain - usually support@ or abuse@

UK Supreme Court unprorogues Parliament

TomPhan

Re: Regardless of which side of the fence you are on.

They normally break for the conferences, and with the way being PM changed ownership some sort of recess would have been expected, but the length and the timing was what upset everyone.

If Boris had said it was for a couple of weeks there probably wouldn't have been the cases.

Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains

TomPhan

Re: Cup of Brown Joy

Makes sure you're wearing your tea trousers, not your fighting trousers or your time travel trousers

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

TomPhan

Re: No one mentioned..

And it's always unexpected

TomPhan

Re: Really?

Many call centres can disconnect is they hear abusive or threatening language, so swearing is a good way to lose your place in the queue.

Though when I was writing software for builders suppliers that rule would have meant that nobody would have ever had a problem escalated to them.

TomPhan

Re: Scripted

The co-op used to have a service where you decided on the funeral, the will was drawn up, and they'd act as executor. My parents used this, and when the time came the co-op did all the dealing with banks, utilities, etc, all I needed to do was apply for death certificates.

Now it's Terrance Dicks' turn to regenerate: Golden-age Doctor Who mainstay dies aged 84

TomPhan

Hand brake

The LHC only makes that noise if you leave the hand brake on

Tempted to play with that Chinese Zao app for deep-fake frolics? Don't bother if you want to keep your privacy

TomPhan

Search?

Just waiting for someone to figure out the URL structure so that ZAOvideo can be searched.

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