* Posts by TomPhan

211 posts • joined 12 May 2015


BOFH: They say you either love it or you hate it. We can confirm you're going to hate it


offline backups on the recovery laptop?

So just how small is this company really?

BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon



So a spin-off where a fire engineer goes around swapping the labels on tanks and selling nitrogen at raves?

What is GitOps? This is the technical introduction you've been looking for


Re: For the love of...

Recently had a day long training course on "Agile" - not tailored to how we work and concentrating on the terminology. Cargo cultism at its finest.


Re: For the love of...

The only good thing is that the people who mandate training course on the subjects don't read El Reg - it's when Forbes or the like say TosspotOps it the latest thing, then we know to prepare for hours of learning nothing.

Devilish plans for your next app update ensure they never happen – unless you start praying


Re: Laundry Files

https://infodump.ghost.io/radio-and-podcasts/ for the related dramas.


Re: Laundry Files

As a follow up check out the Lovecraft Investigations podcast from the BBC. It's three of HPL's stories interwoven with Julien Simpsons "Pleasant Green" mythos, which has a lot of conceptual overlap with the Laundry Files world.

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection


Is it cheating if it's a photo of your office?

I still have occasional need to go into our expensive and pretty much abandoned building, so I've photographed various room, desks, and what the view is like from where a webcam would normally be. Perfectly appropriate backdrops.


Re: Books arranged by colour

Penguin book covers have different colours for different genres - green for crime, orange for general fiction, black for classics, etc - and plenty of people arrange them by it.


Re: "Set-dressing" has been going on for ages.


Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast


The most appropriate song was missed

Eat Y'self Fitter

Microsoft patches PrintNightmare – even on Windows 7 – but the terror isn't over


Bound to be some issues with a rushed job

After all, Microsoft has only spent 40 years writing Windows, you can't expect them to have got it fully working yet.

Go to L: A man of the cloth faces keyboard conundrum


Re: Calling upon a higher power

I was on a (mandated) training course this week where we were told not to use the term "standups" as it would be offensive to people who couldn't stand up. Instead we were supposed to call them "scrums" - it wasn't worth explaining what happens during one of those.

Who would cross the Bridge of Death? Answer me these questions three! Oh and you'll need two-factor authentication


Re: Ah Captcha!

My fear is that it's all happening real-time and there's a "self driving" car about to plough into a pedestrian if the right square isn't clicked within the next five seconds.

A hotline to His Billness? Or a guard having a bit of a giggle?


Rather than *A* Prince Edward?

We don't know why it's there, we don't know what it does – all we know is that the button makes everything OK again


Re: The knob......

A lot time ago there was a new entry system installed and everyone had a badge with a mag stripe to swipe - then it was discovered the data wasn't being read and you could use a credit card, a library card, or a video rental membership card just as long as it had one of those strips on the back. Turned out getting all the software to really read them cost much more than the company was willing to pay.

Big red buttons and very bad language: A primer for life in the IT world


Re: "Mike learned an important lesson..."

A sign saying "do not push that button" lit up.

Waymo self-driving robotaxi goes rogue with passenger inside, escapes support staff


We can't afford to repair bridges to stop them falling down, no way are roads going to have anything smart in them.

'Biggest data grab' in NHS history stuffs GP records in a central store for 'research' – and the time to opt out is now


But can you get your own data?

Following this story I've been poking around the NHS site to see how to get my own medical history - so far it seems the only is to register, in person, at a GP and asking them to print it out. Don't know whether it's worth flying across the Atlantic just for that.

Ransomware victim Colonial Pipeline paid $5m to get oil pumping again, restored from backups anyway – report


Re: $5 million for criminals

In reality the CEO will be in line for an increased bonus due to the brave and courageous leadership shown during this time of crisis.

Traffic lights, who needs 'em? Lucky Kentucky residents up in arms over first roundabout


Re: Drive on the right? Hello??

In the greater Seattle area you can go around clockwise if you're driving something too large to go around anti-clockwise.

Sure, your app is crap, but Windows won't tell. Promise


Cannot Start Application

Oh no, I use Application all the time.

Home office setup with built-in boiling water tap for tea and coffee without getting up is a monument to deskcess


I'm springing to the defense of a boiling water tap, it's an essential for the kitchen.

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user


Re: The endless story

Unfortunately so much of the outsourced Tier-1 is rated based on how quickly they can move an incident from New to Resolved, and if that means installing the first thing they find then that's OK. Particularly if it means another incident gets opened because they're also rated on how many incidents the deal with.

Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus


Re: What's the point of setting up a date with someone you're not allowed to meet

You take the screengrab when they've stepped away and then use it as your own background.

While truly self-driving cars are surely just around the corner, for now here's an AI early-warning system for your semi-autonomous ride


Took the theory test a long time ago, I think it was around 40 multiple choice questions, but what stands out is someone failing and complaining that some of the questions she got wrong were about the different rules that apply to teen drivers and as she didn't have any children she shouldn't be expected to know the answers.

Partial beer print horror as Microsoft's printer bug fix, er, doesn't


Re: Would you like a flake in that pint?

Jack Carter would disagree.


What happens when cancel culture meets Adolf Hitler pareidolia? Amazon decides it needs a new app icon


Re: Pareidolia is evolutionary essential



Hitler to a T

Who can forget his infectious smile, his tanned face, and his blue mustache?

BOFH: 7 jars of Marmite, a laptop and a good time


The real Master only needs to say "I am the master and you will obey me"

You can drive a car with your feet, you can operate a sewing machine with your feet. Same goes for computers obviously



Pop quiz: You've got a roomful of electrical equipment. How do you put out a fire?


You've got a roomful of electrical equipment. How do you put out a fire?

That's a hardware issue, don't know why you're asking us.

Two wrongs don't make a right: They make a successful project sign-off


Re: Just for reference, it's not a tripod

"Multiple stories" = two


Re: Four baking potatoes

It's four potatoes and a Brexit bonus potato.

OpenAI touts a new flavour of GPT-3 that can automatically create made-up images to go along with any text description


So that's why the fighting machines had four legs

The new coin design must have been drawn by it.

Windows might have frozen – but at least my feet are toasty


Re: Cold breeze

Standard dress for the Pacific northwest.

Cats: Not a fan favourite when the critters are draped around an office packed with tech


You need a cat to avoid meetings

As soon as a cat appears in any of the squares in a meeting everyone has to talk about the cat, optionally dragging their own cat into view, and thus you stop talking about the boring things (ie work).

What does my neighbour's Tesla have in common with a stairlift?


Re: White Oil

Listen closely, someone nearby is talking about Baader–Meinhof

A 1970s magic trick: Take a card, any card, out of the deck and watch the IBM System/370 plunge into a death spiral


That was when Software Security meant using two rubber bands to keep your deck in order.

I work therefore I ache: Logitech aims to ease WFH pains with Ergo M575 trackball mouse



Big range of trackball mouses from them, and they're a company who doesn't want to ignore 10% of the population.

BBC picks SiFive RISC-V chip for Doctor Who programming-for-kids kit – with Jodie Whittaker narrating


In keeping with the recent Doctor Who -

will it mean that the bugs were really the fault of the humans all along?

Let's... drawer a veil over why this laser printer would decide to stop working randomly


Re: Low IQ or low volition?

You first make sure everyone knows they should reboot their PC as part of the end of day routine, then you start a job running which automatically reboots any that keep getting left on.

Amazon tells ISPs: I can be your Eero, baby. I can ease your Wi-Fi pain. I will block bad sites forever...


Re: Thanks But No Thanks

Must be nice to live somewhere with a choice of ISPs.


Re: Almost...

You can use your own with Comcast* but if you rent their badged version they'll give you a discount on some features (eg instead of $50 for unlimited data pay $10 to rent a router and unlimited data is only $15).

* being Comcast this will change depending where you live and which operator you spoke with last.

Microsoft? More like: My software goes off... Azure AD, Outlook, Office.com, Teams, Authenticator, etc block unlucky folks from logging in



LAN, it's like having your own cloud.

Help! My printer won't print no matter how much I shout at it!


I don't want to stereotype doctors as arrogant...

But more than once we've had a call about a printer needing paper and the person who had 10 minutes to call the help desk about it is too busy to put any in.

Das Keyboard 4C TKL: Plucky mechanical contender strikes happy medium between typing feel and clackety-clack joy


The $139 usually doesn't include local sales tax, which can be anything between ) and 10%, whereas the £139 includes VAT.

QR-code based contact-tracing app brings 'defining moment' for UK’s 'world beating' test and trace system


Re: Absolutely NO lies necessary!!!!

That's all the cannabis shops are allowed to take.

Typical '80s IT: Good idea leads to additional duties, without extra training or pay, and a nuked payroll system


Re: whoops - wrong disk

"Remove the valve. If it is worn, replace it." - so if it's worn then you put it back, if it's not worn you don't put anything back.

Mate, it's the '90s. You don't need to be reachable every minute of every hour. Your operating system can't cope


Just checking everything takes up the work day

Currently I can be contacted via: Teams, Yammer, email [Outlook and web based], SMS, pager, telephone [Avaya on my laptop, a desk phone, a work issued iPhone], notifications from Office components, WhatsApp.

Perhaps one day there'll be enough time to do some work as well.

Life with Amazon's fitness band: Upload your half-naked pics to see how fat you'll look without exercise. You now sound stressed – relax!


It'll be used in the War Against Stress

Jen, if this needle goes past here, you're fired. Does that make you feel stressed at all? Does it? Jen? Are you sure? Jen? Does it? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?



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