* Posts by Andytug

278 posts • joined 17 Apr 2015


You think the UK coronavirus outbreak was bad? Just wait till winter: Study shows test-and-trace system is failing


Re: Youre the herd, this is a cull

Yep - just look at the pics of the audience at the last Conservative party conference.

Nokia 5310: Retro feature phone shamelessly panders to nostalgia, but is charming enough to be forgiven


Re: There's also room for two SIM Cards

The photo of the inside definitely shows two SIM slots (SD card slot is at the top by the look of it).

Rest is still true though.

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree


I can't imagine any tweet they could have put from the POTUS's account that is any more unbelievable than the ones he normally puts out...…..

The red panic flag would possibly only be raised if the tweet was intelligent, correctly phrased and cogent.

Finally, a wafer-thin server... Only a tiny little thin one. Oh all right. Just the one...


Not blown one up, but it helps if they are live....

Following a planned power off for electrical work, 06fartooearly on a Monday, I come in, fire up all the network kit, lights come on in the right order, everything goes green as it should, lovely. Go to the server cabinet, start them all up, all the usual whirry noises, fans, lights, etc. Fantastic. Then my ears pick up a regular beeping noise, one not normally heard. WTF?? While my half awake brain processes this, all the servers shut down and there is silence again. Mild panic ensues. Press power again, nothing. Beeping continues. Finally look at UPS at the bottom of the rack....oh-oh, red lights all round. No power. Phone electrician on call...…

After the inspection one of the RCDs hadn't been replaced correctly, so the entire rack had no power. All the servers fired up on UPS power, which then promptly shut them all down gracefully before it ran out of battery power.

Lesson learned, check everything for red lights. Even the stuff right at the bottom...….

How do you run a military court over Zoom? With 28 bullet points and a ceremonial laptop flunkey, of course!


Re: If the Boris Johnson Junta decides to declare Martial Law

Well... they do say that one more look and your heart goes Boom.....

Only true boffins will be able to grasp Blighty's new legal definitions of the humble metre and kilogram


Re: Candela

Isn't that because the contruction/use regs still specify the max in terms of power consumption (55/65 watts) which is only relevant to halogen/incandescent bulbs, not LED, gas discharge or Xenon/HID? A 55W LED light is about 4-500W in brightness.


Is that also the reason why it inexplicably keeps reverting to "Letter" instead of A4, especially if the paper guides aren't 100% spot on the marks?


Re: Me too

Or the 660ml (double 330) bottles many lagers are sold in.

750ml is already a bottle in wine and spirits terms so would work best I think.

Wow, Microsoft's Windows 10 always runs Edge on startup? What could cause that? So strange, tut-tuts Microsoft


2004 update to blame?

2 out of the 3 laptops I've upgraded to 2004 recently (all different manufacturers) had a brief issue after reboot where they opened 100+ Edge windows on startup. End Task in Task Manager stopped it, but could be connected?

Bite me? It's 'byte', and that acronym is Binary Interface Transfer Code Handler


Not coding, but similar effect....

The admin console of Novell Networks allowed for the sending of IM's to people. Didn't get used very often, except for a couple of the PFYs to annoy each other. One day this was occurring, so one PFY logged off to (he thought) put a stop to it.

Unfortunately the IMs are based on user IDs assigned at login, and when someone logs off that ID is often immediately assigned to the next user that logs in, if it's within a few seconds.

So ……..that was why a senior manager called up to ask why his PC has a message in the middle of the screen saying "STOP IT!!!!".

Could have been a lot worse though!

The end really is nigh – for 32-bit Windows 10 on new PCs


Probably just as well, given how much RAM it uses..

4GB limit doesn't leave much for apps and programs...

Quick Q: Er, why is the Moon emitting carbon? And does this mean it wasn't formed from Theia hitting Earth?


It's the high carbon content of the soup..

...made by the soup dragon.

French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle


Re: Double ejection

Even worse, it had partially gone off... From another site......

As I understood it from someone involved in the Rafale community the command eject system was live and was triggered by the rear ejection. The initial sequence for the front seat was complete (pyro gases triggering canopy, seat harness retraction etc) but failed at the very last step - the main cartridge for the front seat gun itself. Apparently the front seat sequencer was energised / impinged by the pyro gases but rather than sequencing correctly it exploded and was physically blown free of the seat mounting structure.

So the pilot got to land a cabriolet, having been subject to a power retract of his harness and with an explosively damaged seat underneath him.

Forget about those pesky closures, Windows 10 has an important message for you


That's the latest feature update - that tries to reserve 9GB of HD space for future updates!

So will never install on a 32Gb eMMC machine where Win10 already uses more than 20Gb of the 28 or so Gb of actual usable space.

I have moved everything possible to a USB stick (update folder, filesystem, etc)....no joy.

Why do you write an update that even when the update cache is on a different disk insists on still trying to reserve it on C:?????

What's inside a tech freelancer's backpack? That's right, EVERYTHING


Even worse if your work uses Surface Pros.....

Sum total of ports, 1 USB one DisplayPort.

Lovely lightweight tablet laptop it may be, but I have to carry a mains adaptor, a USB Hub (with a separate power adaptor lest you want to plug more than one thing into it as it may run out of power....) which also has the Ethernet port in it, and a displayport adapter if I want to use any external monitors (plus VGA/HDMI lead becasue nowhere ever has one).

Plus mug, coffee, chocolate, the usual stuff.....

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


Cynical is what an optimist calls a realist...


Optimist : The glass is half full

Pessimist: The glass is half empty

Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be

IT: Bring me a full glass, I've nearly finished this one......

Disk stuck in the drive? Don't dilly-Dali – get IT on the case!


It can be even worse if the heater is on top of the desk..

…~~~wavy lines~~

Back in the day when the office had lovely white plastic-cased Fujisu PCs, for the important people only.

One Important Person was cold, and placed a fan heater on top of their desk, on a box. Then went to the toilet for some time, during which the heater fell forwards.....on to the PC base, blowing right on it. The result looked like Mr Soft's (from the Softmints advert) PC, only the internal metal casing stopped the whole thing from flowing off the desk like lava. Very lucky not to cause a fire.

Admins beware! Microsoft gives heads-up for 'disruptive' changes to authentication in Office 365 email service



"we strongly suggest you switch to Outlook" on mobile, the native mail apps won't work.

That'll be popular...….

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save data from a computer that should have died aeons ago


Re: Serial overflow...

Or RFC 1149...

Internet's safe-keepers forced to postpone crucial DNSSEC root key signing ceremony – no, not a hacker attack, but because they can't open a safe


Re: One of the locking mechanisms wouldn’t retract

As you find out if you try to use it on the valves of brass musical instruments when you've run out of proper valve oil.

Works brilliantly for 30 seconds, then gums everything up due to the water present in the player's breath......

Dual screens, fast updates, no registry cruft and security in mind: Microsoft gives devs the lowdown on Windows 10X


Re: Way to go...

M$ seem to have given up with accessibility, witness the update that removed almost all the scaling options from display settings, forcing users to install third party apps to get them back. If you're on a works PC with GPO lockdown then you can't do that...….

It's official: In May, Microsoft will close the door, lock the vault, brick over the entrance of dreaded Windows 10 1809


Re: And yet it still lives...

You can also go the whole hog and put all the documents, apps, files etc plus the Windows update directory on the USB stick (involves cmd and mklink) ...but then the 1903 update comes along that tries to reserve 8Gb on the HDD for "future updates".....and that one won't install no matter what you do as there's no way there's 8Gb spare on a 32GB hard drive.

Not managed to find a way round that yet.

Starliner snafu could've been worse: Software errors plague Boeing's Calamity Capsule


Re: "re-verifying flight software code"

Plus, now we have the internet, it's far to easy to download/copy/paste someone else's code into your work without checking it properly, or whether it'll work with the code you already have. Thus saving money and keeping the manglement happy.....

Uncle Sam tells F-35B allies they'll have to fly the things a lot more if they want to help out around South China Sea


There was a TV programme a few monthsw ago showing one of the first RAF guys to fly the F-35B...

Rather embarrassingly his first attempt to fly it was delayed when the plane wouldn't let him log in...they had to pull the cameras out while a maintenance chap sorted out the login bit, then he could fly.

I hope they're not expecting to use these things on QRA (Quick Reaction Alert).....

Facebook loses control of its own Twitter account in hacker attack – and more news


"Remember to visit trusted news sites"

That's if you can find any.....

Contractors welcome Lords inquiry into IR35 before tax reforms hit private sector but fear it's 'too little, too late'


Re: Aboyt effing time too

Given that Google, Amazon, Facebook, etc have more resources than most governments and operate outside of nation boundaries as much as possible they will probably never pay tax.....

This AI is full of holes: Brit council fixes thousands of road cracks spotted by algorithm using sat snaps


Re: AI 101

Blimey, that's even better than the orgone blasters site (although much easier to read, lacking the multicoloured text and thousands of exclamation marks).

Makes David Icke look quite sane. I particularly liked the bit where they go on about remaining still like a hunted animal....while travelling to Egypt. Teleportation, clearly...

Vulture discovers talons are rubbish for building Lego's International Space Station


At the risk of being shot down by Lego purists

For those on a limited budget, try Blox (available in WIlkinson's in the UK).

There is a Space Shuttle (on an amusingly far too-small gantry) among other things, and it's about 1/3 of the price of Lego (but is compatible).

My 11yo daughter spends most of her spare cash on the stuff-it's taking over the house....

Bargain so far, at Xmas, a 2ft long racing car transporter, with pits, tools and 2 cars (160 stages in the instructions) - £17 in the sale.

UK to Chinese telecoms giant: From 5G in Tiree to the Isles of Ebony, carry me on the waves… Sail Huawei, sail Huawei, sail Huawei


More trade war dressed up as security theatre

If the NSA and GCHQ can't tell what network traffic etc is coming out of Huwaei's kit and where it's going, then they better get rid of their security chaps and get new ones.

This is far more about forcing people to buy US kit (or we won't give you a nice Brexit trade deal, etc) with the added bonus of the NSA's own backdoors in it to make it easier for them to slurp data, then any kind of security concern about China.

Beware the Friday afternoon 'Could you just..?' from the muppet who wants to come between you and your beer


Re: I must be lucky then or have better friends.....

Don't think anyone I know went the netbook route.....I do have a couple though, a Toshiba (which is on Linux Mint and works fine, once I put more RAM in it) and a Lenovo Miix which is on Win10, but only has a 32GB SSD - which is really 28GB, so once Windows is on it can't even do it's own updates without a USB stick in the side. Cost very little though (2nd hand)so OK for chucking in a bag, use cloud storage/USB to stop it using the SSD.

A lot of netbooks came with Win 8 too, which was also a PITA...…..


I must be lucky then or have better friends.....

Have sorted out many issues for friends, never asked for payment but always been bought a few beers or a bottle of wine for my trouble (despite not asking), or when I've asked them for help with something I can't sort (e.g. gas plumbing, mains electric) the answer when I ask them if I owe them is "No, don't want anything, you sorted my/my (insert family member)'s computer out".

The parents on the other hand...….all I can say is you can hate on Apple as much as you want (and I do) but since they got Ipads instead of laptops my life has been considerably quieter, just the odd "is this email dodgy" query every so often.

Clunk, whirr, buzz, whine. Shared office space can be a riot and sounds like one too


So many things emit 50Hz noise, or a harmonic of it..

Pretty much used to that, but for odd ones.....

The one gadget that winds me up in our house is the Wii, if the kids have left it on you can hear it upstairs! (It's on a rigid built in MDF unit under the TV, right under our room, and the vibration from the disk drive travels right up the chimney breast.).

I am afflicted with "engineers ears" though, I blame my grandad. For example I can tell if just one the revolving arms in the dishwasher isn't spinning, just from the noise it makes.....


Simple cure

Turn the stereo up until you can no longer hear the rattles!

No horrific butterfly keys on this keyboard, just you and your big, dumb fingers


Didn't they do one that you could project on to a wall, as a demo?

IIRC you had to kick a football at the relevant keys to type...…..not sure how you ctrl-alt-del though!


The laser keyboards (and this) do have one potential application though

A dentist friend bought one as it meant less infection risk, the (easy to sterilise) worktop was then also the keyboard, as opposed to a dust and bacteria-trapping conventional one.

We live so fast I can't even finish this sent...


All just distraction whilst the real money is made elsewhere

Hey! Look at the shiny thing/the idiot in charge/the morons on TV! Don't think!

Cheque out my mad metal frisbee skillz... oops. Lights out!



If you discourage people from being honest and owning up, it often takes longer to fix things.

Managers need to be very careful what they wish for, hitting people over the head with statistics is another one that can often drive poor behaviour.

Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room


Re: Yep, had a very dodgy HP tape array in the noughties

Someone should do an appendix to the BOFH manual, on the documented 101 uses for a bent paper clip.

Mine: to remove 2FA smart cards inserted into the gap between motherboard and CD drive, conveniently placed 3mm below the actual smart card slot (Thank you HP for that inspired piece of design!).

Xbox Series X: Gee thanks, Microsoft! Just what we wanted for Xmas 2020 – a Gateway tower PC


The Wii came with a stand for it to go vertical

Ours still is :) Worth keeping for Mario Kart alone.....and tenpin bowling!

GlaxoSmithKline ditches IR35 contractors: Go PAYE or go home




You seriously believe a politician's promise? Especially one with a track record of being, at the least, economical with the truth?

Wanna buy a bridge?

Vote rigging, election fixing, ballot stuffing: Just another day in the life of a Register reader


Re: side issue of green beer

The real version is a "Green Monster", a pint of Snakebite (half lager half cider) plus Blue Bols and vodka. Lethal.

BBC tells Conservative Party to remove edited Facebook ad featuring its reporters


Impartial? Question Time anyone?

Same people in the audience over and over again, with ties to parties (activists etc)?

Not sure there has been any genuine impartial media in this country for a long time.

Beware the trainee with time on his hands and an Acorn manual on his desk


Re: No one has mentioned Elite?

Me too, and my brother managed to get through all the universes and back to the original one again.(think there were 8 altogether?).

That code that could never run? Well, guess what. Now Windows thinks it's Batman


Good old Novell networks...

Not really an error code, but similar effect.....

The admin console of Novell Networks allowed for the sending of IM's to people. Didn't get used very often, except for a couple of the PFYs to annoy each other. One day this was occurring, so one PFY logged off to (he thought) put a stop to it.

Unfortunately the IMs are based on user IDs assigned at login, and when someone logs off that ID is often immediately assigned to the next user that logs in, if it's within a few seconds.

So ……..that was why a senior manager called up to ask why his PC has a message in the middle of the screen saying "STOP IT!!!!".

Could have been a lot worse though!

Close the windows, it's coming through the walls: Copper Cthulu invades Dabbsy's living room


Also, wifi is all very well, but....

if I had a quid for everyone that complained to me that their broadband is slow and "Virgin/Sky/Talktalk/whoever said I'm getting eleventyhundred megabytes" when using 802.11g wifi (max 56 megabits if router on top of a telegraph pole in the middle of an empty field) I'd have enough for a darn good weekend away...…

If you want speed, use wires. (or fibre, although never seen that inside a house. Yet).


I've seen a house like that

with all the audio kit wired from room to room with BT style multicore (80 thin unshielded wires in a cluster). $DEITY knows what the crosstalk was like.

I've had it with these motherflipping eggs on this motherflipping train


Re: On the other hand...

You can drink a whisky in the shower, but it'll take a long time.

Bet you can't guess what I'm wearing, or where I'm wearing it


Problem is it's only a matter of time before someone makes giving false metadata an offence...

As you must have something to hide, right? Think of the children you must be a terrist, etc, etc.

You WILL be monetized like it or not, which is the real reason. Corporation governments don't like people they can't steal money from...

40 million emoji-addicted keyboard app users left with $18m bill – after malware sneaks into Play Store yet again


Re: Why?

Because the standard ones are cr@p.....

I use SwiftKey on Android, but work won't let me update the iPhone one, which I always struggle with. Yeah I know, fat fingers probably.

SwiftKey allows all sorts of things, like drag/drop sizing so you can balance fat fingers with how much of the screen you're prepared to lose.

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'


Re: Entering the Star Trek phase..

What, you mean they're going to make those Bullingdon initiation rites compulsory for all?



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