Posts by Sleeping Dragon

Microsoft assaults our senses with 'viral' Bing video

Oh Dear God...

Scrubs his eyeballs with bleach*

*Not recommended for small children, TCP is much better for younger eyes.

WTF - 'nuff said.

Boffins boil down witch-repelling brew

How Times Change

Being of Pagan beliefs myself, it's nice to follow these little stories into how our country and it's history have been coloured by such interesting traditions.

But things change over time - nowadays we witches and the suchlike tend to cast off evil spirits and curses with a bloody large stick with a nail in it until said nastiness is very, very sorry indeed.

Personally, if I wanted to piss into a bottle and clog it up with nasal hair or whatever the hell it was, I'd join a Masonic lodge, they love that sort of thing.

From the tech. point of view, they should really leave the DNA alone. Nobody is going to be interested, it's not going to provide any further insight into why the bottle was made, and if some budding genealogist/geneticist traced the family line, that family might not appreciate having witchcraft woven into their family tree, TYVM. It's funny, some people can get a bit upset about that sort of thing.

Linksys router ripe for remote takeover

Default passwords

If this attack only works with the default passwords in place, then it should be rolled out to everyone using a WAG54G2. Let's cull the herd of users and admins who forget one of the basics of good security - use good passwords.

Mines the one with the cattle prod in the inside pocket.

HP targets compulsory redundancies at EDS UK

Aaarrggghh...

Any company who uses the word "synergy" should be hung, drawn, quartered, boiled in oil, hung again, then nailed to the highest tree by their eyelids and left for the crows.

EDS had a bad reputation before HP bought them - the CSA debacle was just too big a cock-up to be ignored.

I wish anyone looking for work post -EDS the best of luck - don't put them in your work history on your CV.

The Mac OS 10.5.6 update saga continues

Re: Hmm

Quote: Looking through the responses, it's pretty easy to tell who can and who cannot afford a Mac.

Really? You must be fscking psychic then. I can easily afford a Mac, several of them in fact; but if I wanted a PC that required what is essentially a reinstall, then I would have purchased a Windows-based PC.

Native-Linux music player Amarok gets major overhaul

No thanks.

This seems like bad timing to me. KDE4 is still too immature and buggy to make for a solid platform. I'm a keen KDE fan and went over to Gnome for my Ubuntu 8.10. Whilst Amarok 2 is a welcome addition, it's going to be a long time before we see anything like 1.4 functionality on it.

Definitely a castle built on sand.

Lapland New Forest website suffers 'unusual technical problems'

Not surprising

I live about five miles from the place. It's based on a site called Matchams Leisure Park, you can find it on Google Earth if you do a search - "Matchams, Ringwood, UK".

The has also been the home to a market, race track, off-road bike tracks, go-karts, and all other manner of activities that can be done in dirt and mud.

The whole site is a joke, has been for years. They've done nothing more than take as much money as they can whilst spending as little as possible. It took several years to lay proper paths within the market, and that was only because they got fed up with dragging market shoppers out of the mud with a crane.

We won't be sorry to see it go, we're only sad that so many people got ripped-off by this place - again.

India plants flag on Moon

Congratulations

Now that India have joined the Space Race by dropping stuff on the moon, we can now stop sending millions of £££s of taxpayers money for those unimportant things like medicine, food, and shelter. It seems as though India has enough money now to spend out on a few luxuries...

IPS dismissed 14 over data protection

Not good enough

Find the best, pay them well, but God help them, if they abuse the powers given to them - send them straight to jail. With power comes responsibility - and consequences.

Microsoft unveils 'lightweight' Office for Web

Not a chance

I can imagine a whole bunch of MS Office users playing with this for a while and quickly realising that it doesn't have those oh-so-useful features that they love. It's why most MS products are bloated now; the customer expects features, lots of them. If you pay for something, then that something better have all the bells 'n' whistles.

Online apps are fine, but if you're going to charge for them, bundle them into a full enterprise cloud service. This could get to the point where users can't tell the difference between a desktop app and a cloud app. All they're going to see is that they're being charged for something that has fewer features than OpenOffice. Even a dedicated Windows ME user can see where that's going.

Mine's the retro anorak with a copy of Word Perfect 6 in the left pocket.

EU to stock internet criminal database

Hell no...

EU... Government... Database.

*runs for cover*

It will only take one EU G'mnt inbred fucktard responsible for the database to handle the data in an inappropriate way, and that will blow the case for the prosecution.

Let's make it simple - given the news about the UK losing all manner of data - WE DON'T TRUST YOU. WE NEVER WILL. YOU'RE ALL PATHETICALLY INEPT AND SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALLOWED TO HANDLE A POSITION INVOLVING ANYTHING MORE COMPLEX THAN PISSING YOURSELF IN THE OPEN STREET.

Mine's the splash-resistant one deflecting the output of inbred G'ment officials.

Fancy nipping for a quick two-thirds of a pint?

Man/Woman in the middle

Pints are for the blokes, halves for the girls. This new measure is something in-between.

"I'll have a Gender-Bender please barman... you are a bloke, right?"

PH, she'll serve it up regardless of gender.

OpenOffice 3 goes native on the Mac

Linux Version

The download was fine, the software is great. Some good improvements over 2.4. The language is definitely UK English, it spotted the errors with "neighbor" "color" and "Bush is a great President".

All in all, a nice successor in the OpenOffice range.

Mine's the one with the Concise OED in the inside pocket.

Bloke knocked up kebabs close to corpse couch

Made me wonder...

... why that last kebab I had tasted a little bit like real meat. I think I need to honk up.

STOP! because kebabs are full of saturated fats and you'll probably die on your sofa if you eat too many.

Apple shares plunge after Jobs 'heart attack'

A grand opportunity

I hope Steve takes this time in hospital to reflect upon what he's done and go to the trouble of offering a device that's actually damn USEABLE. Macbook Air? Try burning to disk. Oh wait... you can't.

iPod. I want to move my music around to a device of my choice. I paid to listen to it, I at least deserve the right to listen to it on any device I see fit. Oh, DRM rears its ugly head.

I know, let's make a phone call. The iPhone seems to do the job. Yep, I can make a call on that. Fantastic. I can also do that on any other phone. I want extra features? Sure, I'll hand over my credit card. $999.99 for a fancy icon was an INSANE idea. Mobile internet and GPS are nothing new and certainly aren't exciting or unique to Apple.

Apple products are very pretty, and even work up to a point - and that point is where decent functionality costs extra. I have tried plenty of Mac products, I'm a fairly open-minded type of guy, but there has been nothing to compel me to buy Apple goods.

Steve, get well soon (if it's true), you're a very intelligent guy and I respect you, but your products SUCK. There's something about a laptop that's more than an inch thick - it feels substantial when you pick it up. Despite the obvious weight of larger laptops, they feel like they're going to last longer than five minutes. Sony seem to have this problem too, their products are too thin, too flimsy and too damn fragile to be practical.

PH, she likes her plastic toys nice and thick too.

MoD man 'faces Official Secrets trial' for leaving files on train

No news here

Slap on the wrist really. Gets comfortable job in a distant but quiet department, pension is safe.

HP loads PC with nonexistent web browser

Well done HP...

... for trying to solve some of the shortcomings of the OS.

UK launches major road signage review

Automated signs

Gordon Brown should be fitted with GPS so that all road signs can be automatically rotated to point to "Twat" with the distance given in miles.

Ubuntu lovers slap Canonical over Firefox EULA

If you don't like it, don't use it.

Nobody is putting a gun to people's heads and forcing them to agree to the EULA. You can use Iceweasel or Opera if you prefer. Konqueror is an excellent alternative as is Epiphany.

If Mozilla want to preserve their trademark, that's fine by me. It doesn't reduce the functionality of the browser, I'm not being charged money for it, and it doesn't force me to use it exclusively on my system.

I can understand why people are disappointed by Mozilla's decision to do this, but if you really want to stick it to 'em... ask for a refund.

Mine's the one with the Mozilla receipt in the inside pocket.

Columbia set to resurrect Ghostbusters

Do It Well...

... whether you think GB1 and GB2 were good or bad films, they defined an era in film. For those diehard who still love them, they had better produce something amazing for the third one or it's going to die.

Sure, there's going to be the high popularity simply because of the title of the film and the cult that follows it, but even the Joe Average sheep population ain't gonna forgive Hollywood for turning a great memory into a stinker.

Mine's the one covered in slime.

Blazing Vaios: Sony's hot-tops hit the UK, too

Pretty... but badly made

I've seen this sort of thing from Sony for many years. They design some clever stuff, then try to put it into the small possible chassis they can think of. They're (in)famous for it.

The big problem lies in the fact that this stuff is so damn flimsy that it breaks/falls apart/catches fire as soon as you look at it. Take a good look at the PSP. Beautiful design, works brilliantly, but it's about as robust as Gordon Brown's credibility. It might actually be stronger if it were made of glass.

Sony seem hellbent on putting so many components into such a small frame, that I'd swear blind that they are using some form multi-dimensional PCB technology to create a handheld games console that can play games, videos, microwave small meals, save small children from wild animals, make phone calls, deliver emergency medical aid to 3rd world countries, etc., but none of it is worth shit if it breaks when the wind changes direction.

Sony - read this: We don't care about small. Our western obesity means our fingers our too bloody big and clumsy to handle the small crap you build. Try building gear that we can drop on occasions, that can survive a bit of rainwater, perhaps even (hold on... steady now...) make it past the warranty with all the dullness and uneventfulness of a housebrick.

Paris - she knows when she's holding something big, hard and longlasting.

45th Mersenne prime discovered (possibly)

@ Peter Timon

Oh really, does it solve World Peace? Can we generate 0-carbon electricity from this discovery?

No? Then why bother?

What's the point of discovering n th precision of a number or equation if it does nothing to preserve humanity or the world around us?

You might as well collect stamps and count then number of Penny Blacks you have.

Paris, because even she isn't such a waste of space.

Nice to see...

...such clever minds take time out from other pursuits like finding cures for cancer, sustainable food production, and how to increase my bandwidth so that I can download porn faster than mankind can create porn sites to host it all on?

OK, joking aside, really, what's the point?

Paris - porn, she knows what I'm talking about.

Wind turbines put bats under (low) pressure

Learn from this one.

There will always be complication from any emerging technology, we just have to be a little more aware on what comes up on sonar.

Even if it's a little hard to guess about these complications, we might just have to wing it.

Maybe we need to pay for better scientists in this field, applying a little bit of BatFink - ing to the problem.

* ducks for cover *

Nuns face off in online beauty contest

Wow! Nuns!

Nothing like a woman in a nun's outfit.

Wait...

She's at least 80 years old.

(tries to forget the image by scooping out eyes with a blunt spoon)

gOS - a Google good OS for your Mum

Not bad for a beta

Whilst most of us *nix fans would love a OS we can take apart, we do need to remember that for most people out there this is their first introduction to such a system.

Before we can start to introduce the excellent power and flexibility of a desktop Linux, there needs to be a simple point from which Joe/Jane Average can stumble around and play without having the worry of breaking things. There's nothing to be gained by swamping a new Linux user with all the features under the sun and watching them look bewildered.

I believe gOS offers and excellent balance of use and flexibility. Yes, it's based on Ubuntu, so the software is there for admins later on.

There's no reason why gOS shouldn't do very well.

Paris, cos even she can understand something as simple as gOS.

BlackBerry clamshell pair leaked online

Wow...

looks like a sack of shit. Boxy, flat, and whatever curves do exist are in totally the wrong place and look like they belong to a Motorola.

Hey, Blackberry, better luck next time.

UK bank chief stung in ID theft scam

A Serious Matter

Time and time again we see such utter stupidity allowing the poor and unfortunate public to be ripped off by poor banking practices...

No, wait, who am I kidding....

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

See how you fucking like it! Hey, bank bosses, get your damn act together and start remembering that it's OUR money in those accounts, not yours.

Mines the one with the contents of a HBOS wastepaper basket stuffed into the inside pocket.

Samsung SGH-F400 music phone

B&O

I can't believe people still fall for that B&O crap. They make very pretty things, but nothing I would call "quality".

Microsoft running on at least 220,000 servers

When I saw that title...

... the first thing I though was - "At long last, Vista Ready hardware".

Paris, because even she appreciates big hardware

BT slams bandwidth brakes on all subscribers

Introducing UKOnline

Hey, they're nice guys, my 8mb connection sits at an average of 7.2mb, there's no throttling, they have decent/patient UK(!) based tech staff who actually know what they're talking about and running on Linux isn't a problem.

Like anything else in life, you get what you pay for, I cough up £20/month for a business line, but the service on UKOnline is absolutely first class.

Tux likes it hard, fast and with nothing slowing down his rhythm.

Gov pulls plug on prison PlayStations

Must be some from of typo

Must be a misprint - that almost looks like Common Sense running freely in the Prison Service.

Not to worry though, I'm sure some of the lags will moan that it breaches their Human Rights and they'll have them back within a couple of weeks - plus a few of the latest games thrown in as an apology.

Mine's the one with the serial number on the back

Microsoft eyes AOL takeover

They are perfect for each other

They both produce shit software, give shit service and do all that with a smile on their face and their hands in your wallet.

Mine's the one with a Linux distro and independant ISP contract in the pocket.

Microsoft touts trustworthy browsing with IE8

Flame me... I Don't Care

I just saw "Microsoft", "Security" and "Web Standards" in the same paragraph.

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

(pauses for breath)

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

MWHAHAHAHAHA

Windows XP SP3 sends PCs into endless reboot

No problems here

I've had two friends upgrade to SP3, one on Intel, one on AMD. No problems with either really. Whilst one of them was waiting though, he had a play with my Ubuntu box.

He's upgrading again very soon... >:-)

HD DVD firesale begins on eBay

X-Box may still be the saviour

It wouldn't surprise me if MS took the tech off Toshiba's hands and carried on integrating it into the X-Box. It would suit them perfectly, vendor/tech lock-in, $$$'s not wasted on X-box HD-DVD development and they could ship it to desktop/server machines as removable mass storage. Sell it cheap for PC users and slow down Blu-Ray integration into the desktop machine for years to come.

MS have been sparring in the home entertainment arena for years so having their own DVD format would just be the next logical step.

Flash-based iPlayer is go

At long last...

Yeah, I'm on Linux, I tried it, it works. Not bad either. For a beta it's pretty smooth and by the time they've ironed out a few wrinkles it might even add up to a half-decent player. If you're trying to view from outside the UK, use Opera and look for the proxy Widget. You should find a proxy there in the UK to run through.

Worn out your vibrator? Relief is at hand

Recycled Rabbit

The Recycled-Rabbit. Hmmm, is that going to be a new buzz word?

Chinese couple give birth to @ symbol

Not a lot to say

!

is all I'm going to say on the subject

Thomson DTI 6300-16 TopUp TV Anytime DVR

This box sucks

We've got one, and it's been nothing but trouble since the day we got it. It crashes every damn day, the only solution is to pull the power and wait for it to reset.

We waited with baited breath for the first software update, TUTV were good enough to write to us explaining that they had experienced troubles with a lot of boxes and the update would correct these issues. No, it didn't. It still crashes, it still sucks.

I have been sorely tempted to connect that USB port up to my *nix box to see what's hidden away. Perhaps an install of MythTV might do a better job.

Microsoft Windows patent will spy for advertisers

Oh no...

My poor little *nix box won't receive such delights as adverts for suppositories, hearing aids, enlargement pills, holidays in war-torn countries, sex toys and hot dates with women of perhaps *questionable gender*. I think I'm gonna cry...

NASHA ashtronauts too fly to drunk

DUI

Mach 20? Was I going that fast officer?