* Posts by Ken Moorhouse

2204 posts • joined 26 Jul 2007

Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Satya Nadella

Is probably leaning back in his chair right now, muttering "yes, we have now arrived, geneticists have finally agreed that Microsoft is superior to even genetics."

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Re: if MS simply added an import wizard...

Upvoted your post for the general sound advice offered, but your suggestion (above) did make me laugh.


Those of us using OpenOffice are well-served with options - prompted-for - when doing similar operations.

British Army does not Excel at spreadsheets: Soldiers' newly announced promotions are revoked after sorting snafu

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Firing Range

You 'orrible little man, if you don't select the whole range, you are going to end up in the firing range. And as the Army doesn't fire people, you know what that means, don't you?


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Was Rank stored in Column E?

If so, the Fifth Column is to blame.

Frosty the plaintiff: Yeti Data flings surprise trademark sueball at Snowflake

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I wonder if...

...they will settle?

Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history

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Re: Lift Testing Towers I Have Known

Thanks for the link.

I don't think the architect of it would take too kindly to it being classified as a Listed Building.

Does the explanation about the jagged top apply to The Shard?

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Re: regularly got a taxi from the station that went past it.

The landmark that most intrigues me about Northampton is the lift testing tower. A tower built specifically for testing lifts. (Yes, really).


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Gateway shop

I'm sure that had a store in Covent Garden.

I think round about the time of Escom. Ha, Escom opened shops everywhere, thinking that people would continue to buy from them, even though the prices started to head northwards. Escom were indelibly engraved in my memory when I had to explain to a client (still a client to this day!) that the UART's they used in their hardware were different to those of other companies, which is one of those non-visible consequences of buying cheap. This was to do with faxing from a program which worked on other pc's, but not on Escom's. I had some fantastic diagnostic tools in those days which could (among other delights) display Post Codes when you stuck the board into a PCI slot.

Microsoft forked out $13.7m in bug bounties. The reward program's architect thinks the money could be better spent

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Re: I've never used an IDE so I don't know how QA highlights bad code

Instead of testing the overall program as a "black box" to see whether it works, one writes code to test - if necessary - every single line of the code to make sure every line works as it should.

Simple example: Let's say I increment a counter every time an event occurs:-

i := i + 1;

If that counter exceeds the maximum allowed for that value, and i wraps-around then - well, the "black box" may still work, but there is an error in there which might only occur once every 248 days*. How do you test for that? Line-by-line analysis is easy, you ask the question: this line of code I've written, how can it fail?

Sometimes no fault is discernable, the code may go all around the houses, visiting every possible value before spitting out the correct value. Profiling the code will determine whether the counter has been simply incremented, or whether it was (say) decremented right through the entire integer range (with errors swallowed) to rest on the value above what it was last set to. There may never ever be an error, but the program spends a hell of a long time "thinking" before spitting out a result.

* I believe Boeing have a problem that manifests itself after that time period. Ok my explanation may be simplistic, but these kind of glitches are often as a result of something simple that someone has obverlooked.

Days after President Trump suggests pausing election over security, US House passes $500m for states to shore up election security

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Re: Select on screen, print the vote

Even that is contentious. Is it possible for the software to filter the list shown on the screen? How do you prove the list shown on the screen has not been filtered?

Plus not everyone will know to scroll down: Does the user interface enforce the entire list to be viewed before selection is allowed?

If the "Select" button doesn't function (which could be due to the software having been programmed with an ulterior motive in mind) then the voter's right of privacy is destroyed by the need to call someone to point out the problem with their Vote plainly visible on the screen.

Pencil And Paper Is The Only Option.

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Re: The illusion of paper trails


Interesting insights you have presented (2 posts). Keep 'em coming.

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Re: What a terrible headline! In English

There is a word that describes the seeming intentions behind the wording used.


Leaky AWS S3 buckets are so common, they're being found by the thousands now – with lots of buried secrets

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Re: what makes you think it would be any better at securing its internal systems?

Cloud marketing implies you can lay-off all those well-qualified IT staff clogging up the Overheads on the company's annual figures.

Contrary to this, companies still need their IT staff.

However, whether they will be inclined to work in an administrative, rather than a technical capacity is another matter. Having to spend hours dealing with reset password requests is not my idea of a fullfilling day's work.

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Re: When you outsource all your expertise to Amazon, what do you expect?

Succinct. Like it.

Microsoft confirms pursuit of TikTok after Satya Nadella chats to Donald Trump

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Re: They screwed Skype, they screwed LinkedIn

You've hit the nail on the head.

Yes, I know, but with a big enough hammer the effect is the same.

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Tik Update Tok

Prediction: If this happens, expect lots of ideas for the letter "I" and letters "S", "U" and "P".

An irritating itch down the back of your neck? Searing midsummer heat? Of course, it can only be SysAdmin Day

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Re: using placeholders

I think Jake needs a thesaurus.

Icon: Nearest I could find to a J*ke Alert------------------------->

Face masks hamper the spread of coronavirus. Know what else they hamper? Facial-recognition systems (except China's)

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Re: see That Wiki if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Looks like a quack to me.

Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic prices

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Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic[s]

That might actually be helpful to sewage companies to predict where the next "fatberg" might be.

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If they underestimate their figures...

...they can always blame it on a major cock up.

Feeling unInspired? We can't help much with that, but there is a new .NET 5 preview and an Azure DevOps roadmap

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For anything to do with Arm development, the "Extinguish" term is deprecated, they can give it the "Elbow" instead.

Microsoft pulls dust covers off Dataflex: Low-code data access from Teams

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Re: UK local government careers services

The Health Authority I did work for used to need their system tweaking periodically. Hence my first thought too.

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Re: Dutch ergonomic office products

That DataFlex might also have a right to be upset too, even though MS office products aren't known for being ergonomic.

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Re: Anyone told Data Access Corp?

That was my immediate thought too.

Maybe they are currently being assimilated under the EEE paradigm..

Only EU can help us, pleads Slack as it slings competition complaint against Microsoft Teams

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the market has embraced Teams

The "E" word is a shot across the bows at Slack, maybe?

Just remember what else "E" stands for.

Microsoft Q4 sales up, profit down, shares down. More importantly, someone reboot the CEO. He keeps repeating 'tech intensity' over and over

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

The 365...

The 365 in Microsoft's product naming has been widely discussed.

But hang on a minute.

Is "Office" really the correct name for it?

In the New Normal shouldn't it be called Home xxx?

Microsoft can then at least claim that the 365 represents the number of days you should be spending at home, self-isolating.

Nominet shakes up system for expiring .uk domains, just happens to choose one that will make it £millions. Again

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Re: So we do have to keep the .co.uk domains?

I've got a client who ONLY has a dot uk. So needing the correspondng co.uk sounds spurious to me.

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

RE: The auction will be advertised and there's more likelihood of somebody noticing it.

All those successfully auctioned addresses will be harvested by parasites offering to build websites, etc. so that's a reason not to buy at auction.

960 LinkedIn employees will be let go... If only there was some kind of 'social network for suits' to assist job hunts

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Re: If you have never had an account but want them to stop emailing you

Just change your name by deed poll to Jizhammer Buttflower. Zippy won't mind a few extra notifs.

About ready to POP3: Day 6 of email wobbles at UK2 after services provider Tucows suffers 'service failure'

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which offers professional email hosting

Now if they were to remove the "T" from that service...

Cisco restores evidence of its funniest FAIL – ethernet cable presses switch's reset button

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Re: prevent the insertion of plugs upside-down

Whoops, I'm guilty.

It's the lesser of other evils though, such as removing an earth pin from another plug and sticking that in, or using a screwdriver.

I've always regarded MK as the "bellwether" for mains electrical stuff - if they do something "then it must be ok".

(Reminds me of an advert of theirs they used to run in electrician's magazines which showed a big pile of discarded MK packaging in a corner. The slogan was "you can tell the quality of an electrician by the mess they make").

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

"Snagless Cables"

Cables without snags?

Surely "boot cables" would be a more appropriate name?

Apple warns developers API tweaks will flow from style guide changes that remove non-inclusive language

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Re: master/slave

Who knows they might flip flop over some of these choices in the long run.

See you after the commercial breakdown: Cert expiry error message more entertaining than the usual advert tripe

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Re: Heineken

In the States I believe their adverts were the complete opposite....



(Hmmm, I wonder how many posts before Jake arrives?....)

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an unexpected expiration left its online player shorn ...

Don't you mean Shaun?

Truly the Zombie Apocalypse has arrived.

Oh sure, we'll just make a tiny little change in every source file without letting anyone know. What could go wrong?

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Re: pre-printed with serial numbers) from a locked store

Reminds me of when I was working for the Signals Computing department of London Underground.

One day we had a delivery of stationery, which we chucked in the stationery cupboard without any further thought. A while later, someone opened the box to find that it was pre-printed cheques. They were intended for the Payrolls department.

Actually, security was pretty tight in our building. One day there was a bit of a queue to get in. A rather irate guy was arguing with the security guard on the door. "I cannot let you in as you don't have the correct pass, I'm going to have to report you to the building manager", to which the reply was "b b but I AM the building manager".

Email? Oh yes, this is about email. I liked Groupwise. You did however have to watch out for how ISDN was configured for these systems though as repeatedly dropping and picking up the line to process emails could be costly. Once an ISDN line is up it should be kept up for the minimum charging period.

Moved on to becoming a dealer for Mdaemon which addresses most of the issues others are including in this thread.

Pokémon Go players fined for breaking down-under COVID-19 lockdown rules

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Couldn't the creators of Pokémon Go...

Couldn't they have simply turned off the locations of these mythical creatures, or change the name of the characters to give strong hints?

For instance Picadrycough or Pokégohome

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Re: always a factor in FS events

Sounds like Thirst Saturday would be a better name for your gatherings.

You've then got the perfect excuse for extending the idea to other Saturdays.

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

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Re: Pub electromagnetism

A great place to demonstrate the corkscrew rule.

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New Patrons to the Pub, particularly those of a Hooray Henry disposition...

...will need to go through an induction process to check they understand the rules.

If not they can always shuffle off this mortal coil.

All in all it's just another bork on the wall: For pity's sake, begs signage, climb onto the pub's roof and boot me up

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The Broadway, a 2km walk from the All England Lawn Tennis Club

Sounds like it could be a net fault.

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

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Re: "algebra and geometry"

A lot of people say that the stuff they learned at school in maths is not real-worldly useful.

Many years ago I was approached by a well-known manufacturer of lock devices to supply them with a database which allocated and documented lock combinations to customers. Some combinations were not possible due to the holes weakening the lock. Historically they worked this out by trial and [expensive] error, but a quick pre-process using a bit of Pythagoras solved their problem automatically.

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Re: my result was quite interesting as they didn't often see people with such strong opinions!

You could have said that one of your strengths was being able to analyse complex situations and be able to join up the dots.

Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

Re: Douglas Adams Douglas Adams and Crysis

If you'd spread that comment out over three posts you might have got three times as many upvotes.

Uh oh, will probably get told off now by HR poster for STBO.

GitHub is just like all of us: The week has just started but it needed 4 whole hours of downtime

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What is going on? The Microsoft-owned company...

Eh... 2+2=...

We've paused Sigfox roof aerial payments, says WND-UK, but we'll make you whole after COVID

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Re: So they have a technology which is based on using other people's resources

BT do this with the wifi on their home routers, they keep it very quiet though.

Indonesia slaps 10 percent tax on three Googles

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The nation on Tuesday posted news that the following entities are now to collect VAT:

Can't make head nor tail of that link.

Must be in Javascript.

Boolean bafflement at British Airways' Executive Club: Sneaky little Avioses - Wicked, Tricksy, False!

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That stretch of water...

Looks suspiciously like a tailings pond.

I suppose that's what you expect to get for false avios.

Microsoft sues coronavirus phishing spammers to seize their domains amid web app attacks against Office 354.5

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Re: 07/07/2020 13:04:41 - ( 2911) 250-SIZE 20971520

They've repurposed the term "bulk email" by the look of it.


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