* Posts by Jimmy2Cows

1950 posts • joined 6 Feb 2015

You have the right to remain on-prem, but you should really head for the cloud, UK plod told

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: We probably need a new acronym for that.

Can't we just call it CLUSTERFUCK?

That's what it will become once all that lovely sensitive data is on private potentially foreign hosts who can lose access, lock-out on a whim etc.

Yes, that's exactly where sensitive citizen data should be held.

UK Ministry of Justice: Surprise! We tested out biometric tech in prisons and 'visitors' with drugs up their bums ran away

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

"...visitors weren't cross-checked against any databases..."

So how exactly was their identify verified? As that was apparently the whole point of this biometric harvesting exercise.

Three-quarters of crucial border IT systems at risk of failure? Bah, it's not like Brexit is *looks at watch* err... next month

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: This is what you get when MPs have never had to negotiate anything other than their expenses ..

You're suggesting they wouldn't happily take the money...?

These are politicians remember. Saying they want to close the situation and move on doesn't mean they actually want that. I'm sure they'd grudgingly "settle" for weekly mountains of cash in the meantime.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Simple system

African or European Swallow...?

Cops told live facial recog needs oversight, rigorous trial design, protections against bias

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Say wot? Surely you're trolling. Or off your meds.

AI should only detect people of interest to the cops, and ignore anyone not of interest. Skin colour is completely irrelevant.

Brave claims its mobe browser batt use bests whatever you're using. Why? Hint: It begins with A then D then V...

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

CPU... uh... pressure...?

Well there's a CPU metric I've not encountered before. Is it all the bullshit hot air from ads building up inside the CPU?

Watchdog asks UK.gov to reissue freedom of information guidance after councils are told to STFU about Brexit plans

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

The reason is we're boned, as at all local, regional and national levels of government there is no actual clue what to do in the event of no deal.

Just like they never expected to lose the referendum so had no contingency plans when they did, they have diddly squat plans for no deal because they don't believe it will/can happen. Failure of imagination.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: A bit late...

You think they have plans? Actual, real, implementable plans...!?!

More likely fingers in their ears and singing lala lala lala lala... lala lala lala lala...

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Maybe we should save the panda and instead let ourselves dwindle into extinction.

But then who would be left to save the panda? Let's face it, they're shit at saving themselves.

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Ummm... refueling...?

Doesn't use "fuel" so cannot "refuel". Presumably means "needing its batteries replaced" given the 100-cycle degradation.

Wish people would stop dumbing things down to the point the meaning changes competely.

The UK's Cairncross Review calls for Google, Facebook to be regulated – and life support for journalism

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Some suggestions for the CMA...

...CMA will be able to identify how efficiently the online advertising market is working...

It's not. At least not for consumers.

...and what remedies, if any, are needed...

1. Kill it with fire;

2. Nuke it from orbit;

3. [Insert preferred cliched destructive remedy of choice].

What a re-leaf: IBM's AI smarts to tell 'leccy companies when their bushes need trimming

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

...produces datasets based on satellites, drones, aerial flights, IoT sensors and weather models

Or... and hear me out here... you could, oh I dunno, have an actual employee walk/drive/drone the cable route and eyeball it. You know. A "job".

Can I have my $1.5 billion now?

Seems like someone will have to do that anyway. To verify the AI positive are indeed true positives, and especially if the AI spews out a bunch of false positives which will rapidly lower trust in the results.

Solution looking for a problem.

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

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Re: Critical Mass?

Space-Time Coffee-tin-uum

German competition watchdog tells Facebook to stop combining user data without consent

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the fierce competition we face in Germany

From whom...?

If you're going to lie, at least try to make it believable.

London's Met police confess: We made just one successful collar in latest facial recog trial

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

No but it ruins their trial so is a flimsy premise to arrest someone "on suspicion of X", wind them up so they raise their voice a tiny bit, then fine them for public order.

Lack of illegality has never stopped the cops before. Certainly won't now. It's all about sending a message.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: *just* one successful arrest?

A couple of true positives doesn't make up for the mountain of false positives, if the claimed 98% false positive rate is to be belived.

Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: 4k for a fridge?

Well if it somehow makes someone part with 4k, I'd say it's a pretty smart fridge. Smarter than the buyer, at least. Hmm probably that's not a high bar.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge


Satan will be snowboarding to work.

Also, when are ASA going to grow a pair and actually punish retailers for misleading consumers? Saying "must not appear in this form again" is the same as getting away with it.

Make an example of them, enough that it's not absorbed as cost of doing business: you made £X from this dodgy promo where you mislead your customers, your fine is £X * 1000.

You got a smart speaker but you're worried about privacy. First off, why'd you buy one? Secondly, check out Project Alias

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

you could simply not put the creepy things in your home

This. A million times this.

What's Farsi for 'as subtle as a nuke through a window'? Foreign diplomats in Iran hit by renewed Remexi nasty

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Seems like standard diplomatic practice

Surely every nation is at least trying to do this to all foreign diplomats on their soil.

Just because they've not been caught yet, doesn't mean it's not happening everywhere.

Judge! snuffs! Yahoo!'s attempt! to! settle! 2013! megahack! class-action!

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Go Koh!

Nice to see she's still kicking arse.

Now let's see some contempt proceedings for the unauthorised firms.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: can't blame the lawyers for this proposal

Who would you blame then...?

This is 100% on the lawyers, screwing their clients to maximise their own returns. Scum. Yeah it's always been like this, but it definitely should not be.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Optional

Sounds like blatant contempt to me. Make an example of the lot of em, fucking parasites one and all.

Crispest image yet of Ultima Thule arrives on Earth, but grab a coffee while the rest downloads

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: The rubber ducky comparisons are right on.

Well, I for one decry your anonimised cowardice.

Fine, we'll do it the Huawei, says Uncle Sam: CFO charged with fraud, faces extradition to US over Iran trade claims

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Just curious

Any sovereign nation e.g. US can impose sanctions. It's up to the rest of the world to decide if they agree or not.

Hell, Vatican City (world's smallest nation by area) could do the same if they felt like it. Would anyone take notice...? Probably not. But it doesn't mean they can't do it.

If the rest of the world doesn't agree they are free to continue dealing with e.g. Iran so long as they do it outside US judicial juristicion.

The issue here Meng is alleged to have presided over, and hid, involvement of Huawei's US tentacle in trade deals with Huawei's Iranian tentacle.

Which like it or not puts it firmly in US judicial territory as an illegal breach of their sanctions imposed on Iran.

Data flows in a no-deal Brexit are a 'significant' concern – MPs

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Scaremongering

Look how much time they've already had to organise anything. And they have exactly fuck all actionable plan that would actually pass parliament to show for it.

May and co. clearly can't organise a pissup in a brewery. What makes you think they'll do better with more time?

Apple: Trust us, we've patented parts of Swift, and thus chunks of other programming languages, for your own good

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: SUN once said the the same positive things about Java Patents and licensing structure

Sometimes it's just not worth the effort trying to convince someone they're wrong.

Or they don't want to be drawn into a flame war.

Or you can't argue with stupid.

Lot's of reasonable reasons to downvote without backing it up.

FCC accused of colluding with Big Cable to game 5G legal challenge

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Corruption in public office...

...should be considered treason, and punished as such.

UK.gov told: If you want public to trust surveillance cam strategy, throw money and manpower at it

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Panopticon

To help ensure the Code of Practice is extended to cover all the bodies it should have covered from the outset, in a nationally coordinated and cohesive manner, while ensuring plod and various large public bodies can't take the piss.

Noble, ambitious, definitely required, but I'm not optimistic for success and even if it ever pans out they'll still take the piss.

Intel applies hobnailed boot to countries where its men and women workers aren't paid the same

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Sure

Why? Methinks maybe a point was missed. She hasn't been there as long as he, since she only just started and presumably starting at the lowest rank in the salary band (let's assume he also start at the lowest rank in that same salary band), while he's been there years.

In a truly fair system, loyalty/tenure/inflationary/whater pay rises will apply the same to both over time, so once she's been there 5/10/whatever years she should be at the same salary he reached after his 5/10/whatever years.

Or are you suggesting she should start with no time served at the same salary band he is on after time served, just because... eqaulity...?

Look out, kids. Your Tinder account is about to be swamped by old people... probably

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: who are the vultures here :o)

Lawyers are the only ones who ever score in class action law suits.

My inner sceptic says that's the only reason they bother bringing them.

My inner pragmatist says it can be a lot of work, hence cost, to bring a class action.

My inner sceptic reminds my inner pragmatist lawyers need work, are often parasitic scum sucking moluscs, thus look to create work benefiting themselves far more than their clients. Shit, we can't even starve the bastards.

Q. China just landed on its far side, the US woz there 50 years ago – now Europe wants to mine it? A. It's the Moon

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Yeah leaving huge piles of grey dust and rock, great big holes in the ground... shit like that would really spoil the moon.

Poor efforts at wit aside, you make a valid point. Humanity hasn't got a great track record of careful exploitation. Who would enforce such rules though? It's frontier territory out there. We'd need some kind of space-based law enforcement. A "Space Force" if you will.

Looming EU copyright rules – tackling Google news article scraping, installing upload filters – under fire from all sides

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: No one is entitled to earn a living from doing what they want, what their dream job is.


Everyone is entitled to that. The trick is finding such a job. Many people don't, a lucky/skilled some do.

Are you saying those having a dream job somehow aren't entitled to it? That they should be doing something they hate instead?

UK.gov plans £2,500 fines for kids flying toy drones within 3 MILES of airports

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Total BS, if it captures a tiny dot moving (i'm assuming video here) thats evidence enough.

Ummm... yeah... prove that tiny moving dot is a drone and not a bird, plastic bag, other litter or whatever.

Hardly evidential.

Big Red's big pay gap: $13,000 gulf between male and female Oracle staffers – reports

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: All else being equal...

Indeed. It (dons asbestos underwear) ignores the glaring fact that certaintly in the UK women are legally entitled to 12 months paid maternity leave, while men are not.

2 weeks paternity leave really isn't the same thing.

Not sure about the US but there many enlightened countries with similar rules.

On this basis alone there's are a vast difference. Men and women doing the same job in the same company, to the same level on the same terms, are not actually on the same terms.

To be truly comparative, one needs to compare the additional cost of such female-only benefits perhaps aggregated over the average employment duration of those claiming maternity leave. This alone may drop the difference significantly.

Anyone calling this out regularly gets flamed as a sexist mysoginst pig.

Oh well. Flame on!

Say GDP-aaaRrrgh, streamers: Max Schrems is coming for you, Netflix and Amazon

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge


Again with Brexit. WTF has this got to do with Brexit?

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: "we could not simulate the lunar environment"

Oops, lander not satellite.

Further research suggests this experiment was never meant to survive past lunar nightfall, therefore achieving what it set out to. That or the Chinese are saying that was the plan all along, to save face.

Whole thing hasn't been helped by the original pics being of the control experiment back on Earth, not the actual experiement on the moon. Just gives it an air of incompetence, or fakery, or both. Not saying those are true, just these kinds of mixup can lead to such thoughts.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: "we could not simulate the lunar environment"

Yeah it's not like they couldn't already know the lunar night gets really cold.

Could have at least simulated effect of that here on the dirt ball before bunging it into space, then built the satellite to maintain the correct environment throughout.

China's really cotton'd on to this whole Moon exploration thing: First seed sprouts in lunar lander biosphere

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: It won't grow for long though

Think you missed the joke icon...

Unless you really think the "dark" side of the moon is actually dark. In moon context "dark" means unknown/unseen, not unlit.

SpaceX sends Iridium-8 into space while Musk flaunts his retro rocket

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Employee Reviews: -10 to +10

Nice idea. Which is why it'll never be allowed. Too much PC-ness these days. But still, nice idea.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Their commercial footing is just fine.

I appreciate it's much easier to run your mouth and not bother to look shit up, but you perhaps should research the reasons behind the current shiny design before berrating it for looking like something out of an old comic. The switch from carbon fibre to high grade stainless steel is not for shits and giggles.

I suggest looking up things like "Hot metal structures", "thermal mass", and the reasons for the surface being polished. Apparently the shiny finish is better at withstanding and rejecting the heat from the re-entry bow shock, than a matte surface.

Though how long it remains shiny under those conditions... be the mother of all detailing jobs after landing.

Google Play Store spews malware onto 9 million 'Droids

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Clickbait. This is el Reg after all. Clickbait which worked exactly as intended, since you're here commenting on it.

Americans are just fine with facial recognition technology – as long as they get shorter queues

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Tech ignorance

Bang on, I had the exact same "Ok... how...?" question. Thank you for raising this, and raise one of these :) -->

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Look out below!

Nope still under. And flatter.

The antisocial network: 'Facebook has a black people problem,' claims staffer in exit salvo

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: no, just no.

Why not?

The way to challenge hate speach is to let everyone see what these morons are saying and openly condem those views, present different perspectives and actively work against the hate.

Banning hate speach doesn't eliminate it, just moves it underground where it can't be monitored and challenged. Thus creating a focussing effect for those who might buy into whatever is being said. No one to counter the views espoused.

Freedom of speech means, well, exactly that, even if that speech offends some people.

Angry Googlers demand bosses pull the wings off 'Dragonfly' censored Chinese search engine

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Nice to know that everything is okay....

You off your meds or something? This has to be the worst piece of incoherent drivel ranting there's been on here for quite a while.

Tech sector unites in attempt to avoid Oz's anti-crypto push, again

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

“The technology's ahead of where the agencies are at the moment”

So? Catch up!

But that's too hard, so break the internet for your country instead. Bell ends, the pair of them.

1,700 lucky Brit kids to visit Apple Stores for 'Year of Engineering'

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Only 1700 kids...?

100 field trips with an average class UK class size (~30) is 3000 kids.

Will there be some sort of lottery to pick the unlucky ones, and how do I guarantee my son can opt out?

Black Friday? Yes, tech vendors might be feeling a bit glum looking at numbers for the UK

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Ignore it

long enough and hopefully it will go away.

Facebook to appeal against ICO fine – says it's a matter of principle not to pay 18 mins' profit

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Does seem a bit ludicrous.

Much as I dislike FB I have to agree it feels like issuing a fine without evidence UK users were actually affected. Feeling something is possible isn't proof.

If they did leak UK user data then yes, fine the crap out of them. Max possible under law, one fine per leaked user. Just have the proof usually expected of a civilised justice system, otherwise we slide back into presumption of guilt simply by accusation.

Burden of proof should always be on the acuser. Yes, even when the accused is FB.


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