* Posts by Jimmy2Cows

1950 posts • joined 6 Feb 2015

Humble-bragging ServiceNow CEO tells anyone who listens: 'Our destiny is to become the defining enterprise software biz of 21st century'

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Re: BINGO!

Yet he somehow neglected to mention how such enabling pardigm shifts are via smart blockchain-secured AI running machine learning in hybrid clouds.

Surprisingly amatuer for a tech CEO.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
Angel

Re: Spot the issue:

He forgot to say "manifest destiny"...?

Congratulations Peebles. Felicitations Queenzieburn. Openreach is bringing you FTTP (yes, they're real places)

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More like BT couldn't be arsed to pony up the cash for rural rollout because it would impact their profits and shareholder value, so the taxpayer, again, has to cough up 5 billion to make it happen.

And of course all that £5Bn will go toward rural rollout. All of it. No? Yeah. Thought not.

Expect further boosts to shareholders and executive bonuses, while the actual rollout is far less expansive and takes far longer than expected. Then BT will rattle the can for another £5Bn because the last one clearly wasn't enough to get the job done.

Thieving bunch of self-serving cunts.

Firefighters to UK Home Office: Yeah, maybe don't turn off emergency comms network before replacement is ready

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Mushroom

Rigorous testing

Don't worry, there'll be no need to run the two systems side by side for a while because ESN will go through the same thorough, rigourous and detailed testing we've come to expect from other multi-billion pound government infrastructure projects.

[Icon: Thusly expected outcome the first time there's a major incident and the comms network buckles under the strain]

IBM talks up open cloud, downplays vendor lock-in as it signs public cloud framework with UK.gov

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

So you're saying our government shouldn't try to maximise value for taxpayer money, and instead just accept the first price offered?

Someone made an AI that predicted gender from email addresses, usernames. It went about as well as expected

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Headmaster

Re: My gender pronoun is:

Lose 1 Internet for confusing title and gender pronouns.

At historic Apple, Amazon, Facebook, Google CEOs hearing, congressmen ramble, congresswomen home in on tech market abuse

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Re: Only Jeff bothered to find an interesting room for the video-chat hearing ...

True, however you will also notice split between stupid and meaningful questions was along gender lines, not party lines. Thus party affiliation didn't seem to affect question relevance.

Two large flightless birds walk into a bar... The pub's owner was not emused *ba-dum tsh*

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Re: Don't blame the birds...

Yeah no sense getting into a flap about it.

Chinese ambassador to UK threatens to withdraw Huawei, £3bn investment if comms giant banned from building 5G

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Not the optics Huawei needs right now

Well done, Ambassador. Well done. Whether or not Huawei in really controlled by the Chinese gov. this surely can't help that perception. Which the polar opposite of what Huawei needs right now to not be banned.

Virgin Galactic reveals giant mirror feature in cabin design for Beardy Branson's space bus

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Never let reality interfere with a good* design.

*For typical marketing interpretations of "good", which usually don't align with any real-world interpretations.

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FAIL

Marketing circle-jerk

The spaceplane was designed to provide “safety without distraction, quietly absorbing periods of sensory intensity and offering each astronaut a level of intimacy required for personal discovery and transformation."

Helping things along are “halo windows” that “are used to subtly reflect back and therefore elevate the human responses to each of the contrasting stage of flight.”

What a complete load of pretentious, meaningless, utter bollocks drivel.

Face masks hamper the spread of coronavirus. Know what else they hamper? Facial-recognition systems (except China's)

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Holmes

Down with this sort of thing!

Hmm. I'm usually the first to say "Careful now..." when someone says "all [XYZ] look the same". But this perhaps gives some non-racist credence to that trope - if recognition criteria really do vary by race.

So, for a given observer of given race, if their recognition criteria are significantly different compared to those a different race, it's harder for this observer to recognise individuals of said race at a glance. Hence the observer may claim "all [XYZ] look the same" without it being a racist comment. Whether the observer is actually generally racist is a different question.

Microsoft runs a data centre on hydrogen for 48 whole hours, reckons it could kick hydrocarbon habit by 2030

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Re: Hydrogen is not the answer

Hydrogen can't be stored "easily". It has a habit of making its way through a variety of different container materials, causes hydrogen embrittlement leading to container vessel failures, and either requires:

a) massive volumes to store a significant mass, or...

b) cryogenc storage to get down to manageable volumes, which in turn needs massive amounts of power to keep it cold. And you don't want to be near it if the cooling system fails.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Hydrogen is not the answer

Downvoted for needless hyperbole.

EU orders Airbus A350 operators to install anti-coffee spillage covers in airliner cockpits

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Joke

Re: Design error

Hmm can't have cup holders left or right of each pilot... so put them in the middle, directly over each pilots' groin. There's nothing like hot liquid over delicate personal 'equipment' as an incentive to focus the mind and reduce spillages.

USA seeks Moon and Mars nuke power plant designs ready to fly in 2027

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Re: It was insulted...

Did you say something to upset it?

Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory

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For me, 7 was the pinnacle. Windows went rapidly downhill from there to the data-slurping, UX-fail mess it is today.

Russia tested satellite-to-satellite shooter, say UK and USA

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Definitely a nuclear option. Think very-well-funded nutjob, or a rogue nation that doesn't give a shit about the rest of the world's satellites. But then even rogue nations tend to have an ally in China and/or Russia, and obliterating your ally's assets is rarely a smart move.

So I'd go with the nutjob. Global ransom.

[Left pinky touching right corner of mouth]:Pay me 1 meellion dollars or I wipe out the world's satellites.

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It is unusual, but not unheard of, to launch things into retrograde orbit.

From the sometimes-dubious font of all knowledge that is Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_satellites_in_retrograde_orbit

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Yeah I know, and fixing a satellite is a valid non-threat reason for one satellite to approach another.

Indeed, whatever was moving at 700kph could be a component from the target satellite that was removed and fired into a decaying orbit, for burn-up disposal.

But Occam's Razor works both ways, and satellite repair tech can equally be used as an offensive weapon. Ergo it is equally probable an offensive capability was being tested on a defunct Ruskie bird.

Blowing up a satellite leaves a lot of debris that could damage other orbital Russian assets. Pulling something off a target disables it without the debris field.

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Why does it have to be fast-moving? If this was really a weapon test, I expect it was a missile without a warhead.

Popping out a missile that moves under its own power makes far more sense than shooting a projectile and dealing with the Newtonian implications.

Orbits are almost always enitrely predictable, plus a missile could alter its trajectory - harder for a projectile.

Once the killer satellite is in a similar orbit to the target, the delta-v needed for a missile to reach the target is relatively small.

Again, if a weapons test, this may have been an on-orbit deployment and guidance test, seeing the the missile can launch and reach its intended target.

Amazon's auditing of Alexa Skills is so good, these boffins got all 200+ rule-breaking apps past the reviewers

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: & why exactly would Amazon care about this?

Exactly this. Saying there's robust auditing, then fake-apologising when something slips through the gaping audit holes is cheap. Really doing robust auditing is not. Since most users will never know, or don't care, or both, there's no impetus to improve.

After banning Chinese comms bogeyman, UK asks: Huawei in this mess? It was a failure of capitalism, MPs told

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Holmes

Re: Ha

Ordinary for ministers and their mates. The "special" kind for the plebs who can't afford their own minister.

VMware to stop describing hardware as ‘male’ and ‘female’ in new terminology guide

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Really?

Only EU can help us, pleads Slack as it slings competition complaint against Microsoft Teams

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Re: Slackbot is the worst

Bundling Teams with Office doesn't force people to use it. If Slack really is better than Teams, it should be able to stand on its own.

Used both, not a great fan of either. I'd say equally irritating to use, just in different ways.

Sick of AI engines scraping your pics for facial recognition? Here's a way to Fawkes them right up

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Re: Artificial Competence

Given the typical failure rate of most AI projects, Artificial Incompetence seems more apt. So still AI.Just not the "I" we are led to believe.

SEC drags Silicon Valley AI upstart to court over claims of made-up revenues, investors swindled out of $11m

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Due diligence is more than just "show me some bank statements"

Yeah, it's fraud, but it seems like there wasn't enough DD from investors who got mugged off.

Faking a bank statement would be almost trivial these days, so shouldn't enough to tick the DD box. But the banks aren't going to just hand over confidential account information, balances, deposits etc. to just anyone who asks, so how does one verify?

I still think the investors should have dug a bit deeper, instead of seeing a unicorn and going through 3 (three!!) funding rounds before pulling the plug.

Uncle Sam adds fresh group of 11 Chinese firms to Entity List over human rights abuses

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Re: @AC - Agree

You think the Secret Service won't forcibly eject him from the White House the second a new president is sworn in?

UK intel committee on Russia: Social media firms should remove state disinformation. What was that, MI5? ████████?

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seen no evidence of successful interference in the EU Referendum

Well... it helps to try looking for evidence. If you don't look then of course you won't "see" any. But what the hell, it was only the key vote of a generation. Finding any suggestion of outside interference would have thrown the result into doubt, which of course the Tories didn't want to happen. Nothing to see here. Move along.

India drops the bar on e-commerce seller's listings: You want to sell it? Tell us where it came from from then

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: An excellent move

While we're at it, do the same for car adverts, the ones showing models you can't actually buy in the UK. The ones where the small print reads "Vehicle shown not available in UK".

In that case, you shouldn't be allowed to advertise that in the UK. Show us something we can actually buy here, you misleading fuckers. Stop being lazy and dubbing a single advert to reshow in multiple countries. Oh... the UK offering is a bit crap? Improve the UK offering, then.

Here's why your Samsung Blu-ray player bricked itself: It downloaded an XML config file that broke the firmware

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Re: smart

Common misconception, deliberately designed to mislead the challenged of thinking (i.e. the average consumer).

"Smart device" is one of the biggest misnomers around. These things aren't "smart" for us. They're "smart" for their manufacturers, raping and pillaging our every interaction to provide them a wealth of marketable data.

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Did you read the article? Really read it?

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Why...? Just Why?

Or, you know, manufacturers could just make them work out of the box. Test them properly. Give QA sufficient resources to actually test them properrly. Novel concept, I know.

I don't care if that makes a new telly cost an extra 30, 40, 50 quid. I don't buy one every month, it's an occassional purchase, and I'd rather be confident it's been properly tested and it will actually work straight away, over a cheaper one with the highly desirable feature of randomised remote borkage.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: ...what happened to...

Beancounters, obv's. We don't need the extra storage for that. At 0.6c per MB that's a whole 5c per device we'll save, and I'll get a bigger bonus (which costs the company more than the savings I've "made").

Seven 'no log' VPN providers accused of leaking – yup, you guessed it – 1.2TB of user logs onto the internet

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Headmaster

Re: Cab

Well I cab* say it, but I'm not so sure you cab*.

* For anyone hearing a "wooooosh" sound... "can"

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: naive

1. Combined with timestamped endpoint IP logging, up-to-date geographical data for IP assignments, and timestamped CCTV at said endpoint... perhaps.

2. See 1 (caveat: endpoint may not have CCTV).

3. Only if they've obtained that cipher alreadys.

4. Probably not. Perhaps if 3 is true. But this assumes security services give a shit about doing anything in time to make a difference. They don't. The miniscule possibility of doing stopping "terror" is the carrot to gain ever-widening snoop powers. The stick is "look what happened because we didn't have blanket access to XYZ".

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: Money Talks ...

The point is these VPN providers shouldn't bullshit their customers, usually the one's who aren't IT-literate, by saying they don't log anything when they blatantly do (and, depending on jurisdiction, legally must do).

We know it's naive at best to think VPN providers won't log everything, even if only to cover their own arse. Many people looking for a VPN provider won't know that.

Judge green-lights Facebook, WhatsApp hacking lawsuit against spyware biz NSO, unleashing Zuck's lawyers

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No gun nut, but why would a maker of something be liable for how some random customer uses it?

Are kitchen knife makers liable when someone is stabbed using one of their knives? Are van manufacturers liable when some loon decided to mow down pedestrians on a bridge?

Pretty much anything can be used as a weapon; that doesn't make the manufacturer responsible when used as such. Even weapon manufacturers.

Want to blame someone for ease of gun availability in the US? Blame successive US governments and legislators for allowing it to continue.

Imagine surviving WW3, rebuilding computers, opening up GitHub's underground vault just to relive JavaScript

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Holmes

Re: "need" for the deep frozen GitHub

Mostlyt self-agrandisement, with hints of appearing to look out for user assets.

Look how important and great we are! Look how far we'll go to secure your data!

Copying the data to tape (as long as any needed binaries aren't more than 100KB) and sticking it all in a deep hole is far easier than setting up globally and regionally redudant, resilient, fail-over capable storage with effective disaster recovery.

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Re: Oh dear

Now now, these days it's too much to expect people to think ahead. Have an idea, run with it, ignore/shout-down/fire anyone who disagrees, because they clearly aren't with the programme.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

No binaries over 100KB

Doesn't that potentially render a lot of the stored code unlinkable? Anything in with 3rd-party library/executable dependencies is going to be screwed.

Pointless exercise IMHO.

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Isn't ritualistic purposes the go-to explaination for the unexplainable?

Apple warns developers API tweaks will flow from style guide changes that remove non-inclusive language

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Re: Software As A Career SJW

Search and replace for [offensive term of the hour] is far easier than actually writing good code. These morons can make a career out of it. No end of things evoke feigned offence.

It doesn't help that upper management seems to tolerate this nonsense, instead of telling them to get back to work or face the consequences.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
Joke

Primary/Secondary

I am outraged, OUTRAGED, at the proposed use of Primary/Secondary as a replacement for Master/Slave. Such terms only serve to further promote an exclusionary perspective whereby some are seen as more significant than others, and as a rabid loony SJW with nothing better to do with my time, such perspectives are wholly unacceptable to my delicate snowflake sensibilities.

I care naught about technical clarity and precise terms. Inclusive language must always be a primary consideration. Technological innovation and improvements are of limited secondary interest.

THIS. CANNOT. STAND. Down with the use of primary and secondary!!!11!!1!

UK smacks Huawei with banhammer: Buying firm's 5G gear illegal from year's end, mobile networks ordered to rip out all next-gen kit by 2027

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Re: If security and national interest really were the issue...

Sidelining for a moment the now-questionable decision made years ago to allow China to partner the Hinkley Point C and Sizewell C reactor projects...

Pretty sure BWR designs are already well proven. These new ones need less uranium. Yeah China has a stake in the project; that doesn't change the basic design being proven.

But I say never lets facts get in the way of a good rant.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a charred white dwarf star blasted across our galaxy by an ancient semi-supernova

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Holmes

Re: Surely it's Dave's cueball...

Wasn't that playing pool with planets?

Trump U-turns on foreign student crackdown: F-1, M-1 visa holders allowed to study online mid-pandemic in the US

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Re: Treason

So many questions....

Care to explain how this is treasonous?

Does that make the colleges and tech companies treasonous also?

Is treason against people (i.e. not the State) even possible?

Will you push to change the two-party system you clearly despise so much, or will you just whine about how much a failure it all is?

As the FCC finally starts tackling its dreadful broadband maps, Georgia reveals just how bad they are

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Can't even cut its strings. Could sever the hand that's up its arse, though.

Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

Re: fine the companies for gaming the metrics in their favour

Sounds like the metrics were designed deliberately to be gamed in this manner. I don't seem any fines coming from this. Cable co's will simply claim they were working to the letter of the law, and if law makers don't like that they should change the law. Which does finally seem to be starting to happen. Of course, it's a given Pai will do all he can to slow that.

You're testing them wrong: Whiteboard coding interviews are 'anti-women psychological stress examinations'

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Re: Whiteboard coding - never done it, never ask anyone to do it

Exactly this. Whiteboards are a terrible way to wite code, but they can be geat collaborative tool for exploring ideas, getting your point across visually, and just generally working shit out. If you want to use a whiteboard in interviews, do it for the right reasons.

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