* Posts by Stratman

732 posts • joined 25 Jul 2007

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Twitter ticks off Trump with new 'Get the facts' alert on pair of fact-challenged tweets

Stratman

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

Post it twice, for the terminally hard of understanding.

Breaking virus lockdown rules, suing officials, threatening staff, raging on Twitter. Just Elon Musk things

Stratman
Thumb Up

Re: Elon Musk Is An Ass

^^^^A somewhat under appreciated post.

UK COVID-19 contact-tracing app data may be kept for 'research' after crisis ends, MPs told

Stratman

Anyone want to buy a Windows phone?

As per title. The Windows phone store went to its grave some time ago, not that they'd make a version for WP anyway.

Blackberry too?

Tesla sued over Tokyo biker's death in 'dozing driver' Autopilot crash

Stratman

Re: Took delivery of a Model 3 just yesterday...

Interesting that Tesla appears to treat the speed limit as a target.

Assange should be furloughed from Belmarsh prison, says human rights org. Here's a thought: He could stay with friends!

Stratman

Then again, anyone who spilled American secrets would be treated pretty well in Russia.

Spyware maker NSO can't claim immunity, Facebook lawyers insist – it's time to face the music

Stratman

Re: Pot? Meet Kettle...

Can we not hope they both financially cripple each other to the point of disappearing

My initial reaction was to agree, but further reflection tells me all the money would end up in lawyers' pockets. That's bad.

Motorola casually trots out third UK release in as many months: This time it's a 'Lite' take on the Moto G8 Power

Stratman

Ooh, a replacement for my Windows phone I thought. Simple, long battery life, reasonably priced etc. Then I saw it has 6.5" screen. I don't really want to walk around with a small television in my pocket, so what phone do I want? I'm not interested in the camera, I've got a camera for that. I'm not interested in streaming endless pop videos or hilarious youtube pranks. Make one of these with a 4.5 or 5 inch screen and I'll buy it

The Windows Phone keeps ringing but no one's home: Microsoft finally lets platform die

Stratman

Re: The best interface

I still use my Lumia 520 running 8.1 as my only phone. It does everything it did on the day I bought it, namely phone calls, SMS and email. It has some handy things like a calculator and it syncs with my Office Outlook calendar. Easy to use too. I'll keep using it until it breaks or I can't live without a phone that's also a heart monitor or tells me how long it's been since I last looked at it, or one of a thousand pointless other things.

The silence of the racks is deafening, production gear has gone dark – so which wire do we cut?

Stratman

Now happily retired, I used to work for a world famous UK based broadcasting corporation, in TV outside broadcasts. Way back when we had live limited overs cricket on Sunday afternoons, we were happily well into the first innings when all the fans started rhythmically speeding up and slowing down and bulbs got brighter and dimmer. I glanced up at the incoming voltmeters which were swinging up and down like a fiddler's elbow. The AVRs on the input couldn't keep pace with the swings so there was only one thing for it. On a live, non repeatable broadcast I reached up and hit the breakers, turning off the technical supplies to the kit and removing cricket from thousands of tellies up and down the country. The dividing door between us engineers and the production gallery popped open and an inquisitive looking head poked through.

We explained if we hadn't done it we'd have lost the programme completely as every fuse would have blown whereas now, once we get to why it happened, enough kit will have survived to get something on air. many OBs are powered by a portable generator (think the size of a bin lorry) so our capo di capi went off to pass the time of day with the genny man. It turned out he had a minor problem with the stabilisation control system on the generator so though he'd use the time fault finding. He bypassed the system completely, then grabbed hold of the engine speed controller and started to give it a good workout. While the error of his ways were explained to him we'd been on our hands and knees, scrabbling around behind dusty bays replacing fuses. We lost about five minutes of airtime in total and came out quite well in the subsequent enquiry.

Next year's Windows 10 comes bounding into the Slow Ring, which means 19H2 waits in the wings

Stratman

It would be nice if...

...the default home network settings weren't effectively "Thou shall not network".

Chinese sleazeball's 17-year game of hide-and-seek ends after drone finds him on mountain

Stratman

Being incommunicado for seventeen years he was probably unaware drones even existed, and wouldn't have seen the need to foil them.

Baby alert! Japan Air lets passengers book seats far away from screaming abdabs

Stratman
Megaphone

Noise cancelling headphones.

They work with braying businessmen, raucous ruggerbuggers and serial snorers too.

Belgian F-16 pilot rescued from power line after emergency ejection

Stratman

Hmmm.... 'Security' or 'Emergent Tech' ;-)

Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence

Stratman

Obviously Easyjet would charge to be allowed to breathe on their flights.

They'd do special offers though, where breathing in would be free and you'd only pay to breathe out.

Stratman

Where e'er thee be, let thy wind go free

Need to automatically and securely verify a download is legit? You bet rget this new tool

Stratman

Re: Not a panacea

Blockchain! We need more blockchain!

Giffgaff goody-baddy-bag billing faff: Ofcom fines operator £1.4m for overcharging folks by almost £3m

Stratman

Overcharge by £2.8 million

and get fined £1.4 million. Here endeth the lesson.

Outraged Virgin slaps IP trolls over dirty movie download data demands

Stratman

From now on I'll stop downloading the film when it's 99% complete and I'll be in the clear. Result.

Pity you can't download the last bit first, after the housmaid/nurse/fitness instructor has said "Its hot in here isn't it".

Industry reps told the UK taxman everything wrong with extending IR35. What happened next will astound you

Stratman

Re: Unsurprising

Get rid of NI, bundle it in to Income tax

Don't upset the Pensioner Vote, we're a powerful lobby. NI was deducted from our contributions on the way in to the schemes. By adding it to income tax we'd pay it on the way out as well, a double whammy.

We may be old but we ain't stupid. Any party proposing that would lose a lot of votes.

Oh snap! The road's closed. Never mind, Google Maps has a plan...

Stratman

Re: A Guess

Scotland has two seasons, June and winter.

Billy Connolly.

Assange rape claims: Complainant welcomes Swedish investigation's reopening

Stratman

He said the move compounded the release of recordings of Assange made at the embassy, noting that a complaint has already been filed over that incident.

said the lawyer of the man who found fame and fortune releasing recordings which others would prefer not to be released.

Ok Google, please ignore this free tax filing code so we can keep on screwing America

Stratman

The Land of the Paid For

On so many levels.

London's Metropolitan Police arrest Julian Assange

Stratman

BBC News have just reported (1318) he's been charged under a US extradition warrant in addition to his alleged bail offences.

Stratman

Re: Interesting timing ....

Worst airport on the planet without any other to come close.

You've not been to Chambery then...

Overzealous n00b takes out point-of-sale terminals across the UK on a Saturday afternoon

Stratman

Re: I'm liking the "Who, me?" features, but shouldn't the title be changed to "Management fails"?

It's the same the world over. As the saying goes, whenever top management royally screw up "Deputy heads will roll".

We don't want to be Latch key-less kids: NYC tenants sue landlords for bunging IoT 'smart' lock on their front door

Stratman

Are the required applications available for all phone operating systems, or are those who prefer Blackberry or Windows phones permanently excluded from their home?

Blue Monday: Efforts to inspire teamwork with swears back-fires for n00b team manager

Stratman

While covering a world-famous dog show for a world-famous broadcasting corporation many years ago, we had to rig quite a bit of extra gear in a couple of portacabins. We named them Additional Recording and Sequencing Empire and Field Editing and Compilation Kit.

Nobody who thought they mattered spotted it.,

Stratman

Re: Management omission...

Or it could be said the bosses instructed them not to swear and were ignored. The root cause was instructions not being followed.

Lunar lander's brief jaunt will place Israel as fourth country to make soft landing on Moon

Stratman

Question

Why will it take about six weeks for Beresheet to reach the Moon, compared with Apollo's three days? What factors come into play?

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Stratman

Rather than limit access, give everyone in the LoTF a hundred guns free of charge. Give every newborn a hundred too. It may take a few generations but eventually only the smart will be walking around. Who knows, things may get to the point where the populace are begging for gun control while the NRA's raison d'être has disappeared.

The USA deserves guns. The more and bigger the better.

Bad news for WannaCry slayer Marcus Hutchins: Judge rules being young, hungover, and in a strange land doesn't obviate evidence

Stratman

Re: Don't care what country it is

Part of the UK's police caution goes something like "It can harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court", although they don't spell out how keeping schtum can harm it.

Stratman

Re: 18 months he has been held ...

Because they're paid per hour, not per job?

Cop films chap on body-worn cam because he 'complains about cops a lot'. Chap complains

Stratman

"Pa, he's usin' them book words pa!"

Yay, we got a B for maths. Literally, a bee: Little nosy nectar nerds smart enough to add, abstract numbers

Stratman

Some summers ago

a robin in my garden cheeped three times, a few seconds later it cheeped four times, then five, then six, all the way up to fifteen cheeps. T'was most entertaining listening to it.

Post-Brexit plan for .EU tweaked: No dot-EU web domains for Europeans in UK, no appeals, etc

Stratman

Re: In case anyone wonders where the EU got its reputation for thoughtless bureaucracy....

the only way he will get it it to build it himself ( at the expense of the American taxpayers )

I though Mexico was paying for it. I'm sure he mentioned it a couple of (dozen) times.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

Stratman

Just look at Youtube tomorrow, for "Wikid pikz of Gatwick, innit. Click to subscribe"

Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

Stratman

Re: It's simple...

Don't forget to raise the pitch of the last word in a sentence by a perfect fifth.

Google actually listens to users, hands back cookies and rethinks Chrome auto sign-in

Stratman

Developer goes rogue, shoots four colleagues at ERP code maker

Stratman

Re: A gun is involved in every single mass shooting.

I suppose you could point your finger and go "bang"

Or point a 3D printed gun and watch you finger go "bang"

Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

Stratman

I bet there's some interesting physics around the firing of a bullet into the surface, starting with Newton 3

PPI pushers now need consent to cold-call you

Stratman

Rather than attempt to fine the disposable cold calling outfit, make the company who hires them responsible for their actions. No more washing their hands of activities carried out in their name and at their behest.

Chap asks Facebook for data on his web activity, Facebook says no, now watchdog's on the case

Stratman

Am I to assume from all this that Facebook stores data on those who do not have an account with them?

I have never had a Facebook account, do not have one now and can't foresee me ever having one, so if they do hold data on me I wonder from where they received consent? What information would I need to give them in order for them to positively identify me in a GPDR request?

Microsoft takes another whack at killing off Windows Phone 8.x

Stratman

I have a Windows 8 phone which I use for well, er, making phone calls. As an added bonus it also picks up my emails when I'm out and about. Until it stops doing either I'll carry on using it as it fulfils my phone needs.

It even has a replaceable battery.

Google responds to location-stalking outcry by… tweaking words on its BS support page

Stratman

Maybe the EU are hoping Google keep on tracking and just pay the fines as a cost of doing business. After all, the UK's soon-to-vanish contributions will need to be replaced.

London fuzz to get 600 more mobile fingerprint scanners

Stratman

Re: Too one-sided

Or maybe wet your finger with a plastic solvent before pressing it against the officer's scanner.

I have a golf GPS device with a touch sensitive screen (Garmin Approach G6). Said screen has developed several baked in fingerprints caused, as far as I can work out, by suncream.

Jus' sayin'.

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Stratman

Re: Magical policing

Another apocryphal social worker story.

A little old lady was mugged after collecting her pension. As she lay on the ground, battered and beaten, a social worker happened by. He looked at the old lady, shook his head and said "Whoever did this needs help".

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Stratman

Re: "Don't talk to the ATM..."

Back when the BBC televised cricket there was a director who would always say "Thank you" to the pre-recorded prompt which said "last ball" as the sixth ball of an over was about to be bowled.

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Stratman

Re: Reminds me of French sales

As our boss said with a knowing grin querying "extra vegetables" when authorising an expensive overnight claim, "Were they red or white vegetables?"

Tech support made the news after bomb squad and police showed up to 'defuse' leaky UPS

Stratman

Re: We shut down central Edinburgh with a fridge

The firemen were absolutely fuming

Very good

Stratman

AC wrote "you've just confessed to a heinous crime"

With an uncalibrated uncertified speedometer...

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