Posts by Paul Herber

Users claimed they'd never seen a spell checker and panicked at the sight of red squiggles

Re: "this is just how MS Word works"

How about EN-SH (Shakespearean) and EN-CH (Chaucerian), as well as EN-PI (Piratical).

Aaaar.

Re: Simple fix

That has the smell of something going SKU-whiff.

Speakers were plugged in but he was sitting in the cone of silence ...

Re: "this is just how MS Word works"

Trinidad has three different English dialects ...

Re: Don't check that, check this

"using 5G..."

That's down to 4.8G now ...

Rights groups brand Home Office's AI age guesser for asylum-seekers as biased and inaccurate

Re: "the age-gated Interwebs"

What if there were a Mr Starmer who suddenly found out that he had been reading his name wrongly all this time and he was a Keith after all!

2,000 retired Google Pixel phones get a second life as a private cloud

Re: WOW!

"50 years ago ..."

100 years ago one would have told ones manservant to take the paper for you!

Re: Google Folds?

This won't work in the Manifold Valley then as Google will want a monopoly.

Re: WOW!

That created health and safety nightmares so ditches were dug around them to keep people out. Even so these dumps were in use for many, many years. Hengeing their bets probably.

Silicon? Huh, we didn't even have germanium, or any other summer flowers.

Microsoft faces down sueball, capacity problems in series of challenges

Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Capita is about to sail past deadline to fix civil service pensions scheme

The thing I love best about deadlines is that whooshing sound as they go past.

AI is code – and can't be prompted into being smarter

Re: In support of Plain English

But imagine a warning on a parachute.

THIS PRODUCT IS NOT DESIGNED TO BE USED MORE THAN ONCE WITHOUT BEING REPACKED BY AN APPROVED RIGGER.

Riggers do things with rigour.

World Cup AI predictor now lets users ask daft what-ifs

Re: "What if the players are replaced with each country's largest native rodent?"

Somebody once moved my cheese.

Re: Team Register

er ... guys'

Pedantic? Moi? Yes!

What if they all picked up the ball and ran (a la William Webb Ellis) or started bowling googlies from the pavilion end after tea. Might add a bit of interest.

That's out.

This is your BIOS speaking. Please fix me. Your PC is broken

Re: Lucky the text didn't default to Chinese

The French find it difficult to stomach colons.

Re: Hungarian

Do they have words for hovercraft and eel in Klingon?

"... not buying enough repeaters... "

How often did you tell them?

I was trying to enable a route to integrate some fish puns.

But, yes, I hang my head in shame at my mistake.

This is Chapter 1 in The Life and Times of Talkie Toaster.

Well, I think it's all a load of Pollacks.

Windows bowls a BSOD at sports fans

Re: The Rules of Cricket

But what about lunch and tea?

Suddenly everyone understands what LBW means! Large Blue Window!

Met Police boss threatens to cut 700 frontline jobs after Palantir deal blocked

Re: Clever fellahs

... and the security guard arrested for assault upon the (alleged) shoplifter?

" nipping out for food"

So, tell us what happened to the doughnuts.

Lucrative - of similar derivation to a word often preceded by "filthy".

Re: Pram

Good riddance is frequent term in these circumstances.

The Chronicles of Riddance.

My version of Palantir tells me it is quite likely that Mark Rowley will start considering resigning from his current position if he doesn't get his own way.

Memory and personalization make AI more likely to tell you what you want to hear

Re: A new el'reg unit

The Epstein Coefficient trumps everything.

Re: A new el'reg unit

Starmer and Mandelson - Burnham both.

Logitech knows when to fold 'em

You are obviously holding it wrong!

Department of Work and Pensions' answer to AI job fears is a bot to polish your CV

Re: Levelling the playing field

Sorry, that chart didn't come out at all well.

Re: Levelling the playing field

Sorry, the protocol is quite clear ...

Rejection script application script

sleep HELO

<-----------------|

HELO ?

| \

| n \ y

| \------ RJCT---->

v

sleep

Machine-written application - please say hello to machine-written rejection.

AI is making Patch Tuesday (kinda) fun again

Re: Event Horizon

It has probably already happened but we don't know about it yet due to the finite speed of borkage.

Re: How many patches were generated using AI …

"... steady state ..."

I think we all know that the Microsoft steady state borkage theory is incorrect. Most informed critics are now fully in support of the exponentially expanding borkage space. Hyper-galactic cluster-fuck theory is a rich source of potential Nobel prizes over the next few years.

LibreOffice brands Euro-Office a 'de facto ally' of Microsoft's lock-in strategy

Re: or

" a fish needs a bicycle."

And here we with the phrase "fin de siècle" being used twice in the same day in El Reg articles.

Does Thunderbird need competition?

"... surely git commandline can read mail by now ..."

it's in systemd, so ...

Next stop, C:\ ... Paris Metro screen goes off the tracks

Re: Choo choo

I bet they're several times more reliable than the over-complex modern stock where the slightest fault means the whole train has to be taken out of service for 3 months until a part can be shipped.

Error 0 - fault not fault. Please refer to supplier for repair details.

In France they run Ruby-sur-Snails.

Brit maritime agency heralds fresh global rules for crewless cargo ships

Those sea-trials with the Mary Celeste would have gone better if only the ship hadn't been boarded by pirates in the pay of the competition ...

Ooo-ar, me 'arties!

England's exam watchdog frets over smart specs turning GCSEs into Google searches

Re: "insisted on us submitting the whole thing as a handwritten essay"

" ... gerunds and genitives...."

Now you're just talking dirty!

Start spreading the news: Datacenters may face one-year ban in NY

Re: Sponsored by China?

"I read somewhere that the advocates for eating cheese were left wing neo-nazi moon dwelling dictators challenging big vegetable."

Big vegetable - they're called the advocados.

(okay, it's a fruit to the pedantic, which includes me)

Re: Sponsored by China?

I read somewhere that Herby was sponsored by some foreign government. But as Herby has been my nickname in the past, who knows!!

World Food Programme breach exposes data of 600k vulnerable Gazan families

Re: Mossad

Does everyone in Mossad share the same girlfriend? Who knew?

I think it's quite reasonable that anyone requesting food aid in an area devastated by war, famine etc should require a minimum of two forms of photo ID, especially children under 10 having a driving licence and passport, as well as having all these forms of ID checked by a Public Notary, senior police officer (Chief Constable or equivalent), as well as senior rank of the local militia (Major General or equivalent).

Trump pumps federal funds into coal plants in the name of energy security

Re: All this will be undone

"He's doing it for his billionaire contributors who own the mines."

Many US billionaires are going to make even more out of their Coal and Coke empires.

Benevolent dictator Zuck will give Meta staff 30-minute breaks from keylogging privacy assault

Re: Security by leaving the door open...

Well, not sure if it's a password, but it shows asterisks in part, but I think I heard someone typing "Zuck can go **** himself".

Five Eyes: Watch out for odd LinkedIn connection requests, China's back on the hunt for state secrets

Re: Au contraire, please let them come

I fancy creating a fake profile called Big Chief I-Spy.

Grep this: Microsoft grafts (most) Linux commands onto Windows

Re: Nice, but...

QA = Questions and Answers.

So many, so little time, so little point, so what.