Posts by Paul Herber

Blast from the past: Boffins find the fastest exploding non-supernova star

pedantry ...

"When it exploded in the 19th century".

ITYM

"When the light reached astronomers' eyes on Earth in the 19th Century"

I had to edit this post, my initial posting missed out the apostrophe. Give a pedant a good kicking ...

pedantry ...

"When it exploded in the 19th century".

ITYM

"When the light reached astronomers eyes on Earth in the 19th Century"

Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

Tibet

I'm sure a mention of Tibet would be appreciated as well.

Beam me up, UK.gov: 'Extra-terrestrial markup language' booted off G-Cloud

Re: the Government, notoriously short of cash

South Ealing Technology International?

Hi Ken.

FBI boss: We went to the Moon, so why can't we have crypto backdoors? – and more this week

Re: Man on the sun

Where is Mr Neutron?

Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

IoT

Internet of Toasters.

Toasters create crumbs, hence the vacuum cleaner.

No buns, baps, bagels or bageuettes, please.

Airbus UK infosec gros fromage: Yep, we work with arch-rivals Boeing

Re: Farnborough International Airshow in Surrey

Two Farnboroughs, one must be a decoy. The RAF should drop a wooden bomb on the decoy.

Re: Farnborough International Airshow in Surrey

The mailto link loads the wrong mail client on this machine and I haven't got the round tuits to fix it yet, Just copying the link doesn't copy the subject etc.

I understand the security by obscurity, maybe the traffic problem can be fixed in the same way, the A325 and A331 are a nightmare when the show is on. But at least I get a good view from the back garden.

Farnborough International Airshow in Surrey

Hampshire, please.

'Fibre broadband' should mean glass wires poking into your router, reckons Brit survey

Do these fibre companies have a Universal Service Obligation? No, thought not.

Two-factor auth totally locks down Office 365? You may want to check all your services...

Re: Where is all this 'lost' Money?

SOFA - Security Of Financial Activities

Hope for Hutchins, Navy sinks contractor, there's another Russian hacking scandal, and more

Smart

Smart TVs, smarter than their users.

The butterfly defect: MacBook keys wrecked by single grain of sand

Could be worse

Could be dust in your eyepad.

UK taxman has amassed voice profiles of 5.1 million taxpayers

Re: opt-out

"b) some people got frustrated and didn't call again"

So, it worked exactly as required.

Former FBI boss Comey used private email for official business – DoJ

timesheets!

Good grief. Timesheets done by after the week worked? A defence contractor I used to contract for wanted the Monday to Friday timesheet filled in before the Thursday lunchtime. We were told to just fill in the hours you expect to do!

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

I forsee tribble at t'mill.

Internet luminaries urge EU to kill off automated copyright filter proposal

TWotW - 120 years old.

And Woking hasn't improved in all that time.

Trump kept ZTE alive as ‘personal favour’ to Chinese president Xi

Re: I misread the headline as...

You beat me to it!

UK comms firm Gradwell quits cloud land after 'strategic review'

They messed up the ownership and email address contact details for all (most) of the domains I used to have with them. It took one devil of a job to extricate myself. Shame, as Peter did a good job initially with his web hosting service. Then last year they started invoicing me for £0.00 for an ADSL service I'd never had with them.

ICO smites Bible Society, well fines it £100k...

Religeous types should be brilliant at IT. Moses brought down 2 tablets from Mt Sinai, I assume they were Apples, joining up with a previous story in the book. And this Job character, obviously instigated batch-processing. Numbers, well, where would data processing be without numbers? Exodus? That's Friday lunchtimes down the pub.

Four hydrogen + eight caesium clocks = one almost-proven Einstein theory

Re: This is why science rocks

I find tap water much better when diluted.

The ice must flow: Dunes of frozen gas spotted on alien dwarf

Damn, that was a good book ^H^H^H^H trilogy ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H give-up on how many.

FTFY.

Where there are dunes surely there must be giant worms!

Real fake scam offers crypto-coin to replace frequent flier points

Cowboys

If this scam was really being run by cowboys they'd have been called Howdey Coins.

Birds can feel Earth's magnetic fields? Yeah, that might fly. Bioboffins find vital sense proteins

What's so special about birds having this ability? I'm quite able to migrate daily between home and the pub - a north-south journey. I've never got lost - yet.

Don't want to alarm you, but defence bods think North Korea could nuke UK 'within a few years'

'the communist nation could nuke Britain "within a few years".'

Must be China then because I'm sure North Korea is not in any way communist!

Re: Christ almighty...

42. No, doesn't work.

2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

Re: Size of HAL

A shoebox? Not size 9 chukka boots by any chance?

Any shoe event horizons around?

Take the dashboard too literally and your brains might end up all over it

The original dashboards were designed to protect you from all the shit kicked up (dashed up) by the horse's hooves. So, no change there.

The Register Lecture: How to build your own tractor beam

Oi can't read and Oi can't write,

but Oi don't care

'cos Oi comes from ******shire

and Oi can droive a tractor beam.

Horn star Sudan, last male northern white rhino, dies aged 45

Contemporaneous

6 syllables - not bad for nearly beer o'clock.

Google to 'forget me' man: Have you forgotten what you said earlier?

Gentleman from The Register

Madam, there are 5 reporters outside, and a Gentleman from The Times.

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

Kay Sera

When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother what would I be

Would I be clever, would I be rich, this is what she said to me

Stephen Hawking, Hawking, whatever will be will be

A cosmologist you will be, a big bang theory.

Paul Allen's research vessel finds wreck of WWII US aircraft carrier

Re: Paul Allen?

They've even got rounded corners!

Another day, another meeting, another £191bn down the pan

BLAME

The Bracknell Locality Association of Meetings Engineers is always looking for new members.

Meetings, the practical alternative to work.

Martian microbes may just be resting – boffins

just resting?

These microbes are very small, those microbes are far away.

4G found on Moon

patent that

Patent everything 3G, 4G, 5G, bluetooth, everything, but on the moon (even though the moon has rounded corners).

Patent everything 3G, 4G, 5G, bluetooth, everything, but on Mars (even though Mars has rounded corners).

Patent everything 3G, 4G, 5G, bluetooth, everything, but on Mercury (even though Mercury has rounded corners).

Patent everything 3G, 4G, 5G, bluetooth, everything, but on Venus (even though Venus has rounded corners).

ad infinitum.

<troll>

When clever code kills, who pays and who does the time? A Brit expert explains to El Reg

it is unclear whether there would have been any lawyers left to prosecute the case

"it is unclear whether there would have been any lawyers left to prosecute the case"

A town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two.

Cali cops' Clue caper: Apple technicans, in an iPhone repair lab, with the 1,600 silent 911 calls

Re: Hey Apple!

Their second album was rubbish.

Vatican sets up dedicated exorcism training course

Exorciser

Yonks ago working on Motorola 6800/6809 processors, some of the dev work was done on Motorola Exorciser development systems. A heap of dung compared with the equivalent Intel gear. Many deities had words cast at them, the gear was very appropriately named.

Re: Ye Gods

I'm Julian Calendar and this is my friend Sandy Calendar.

A dog DNA database? You must be barking

Who creates the database?

Will Crapita come into their own at last?

Boffins upload worm's brain into a computer, teach it tricks

If the worms were to start attacking each other, could this be a new era of core wars?

Wow, MIND-BLOWING: Florida Man gets an earful from 'exploding Apple AirPod' bud

> he noticed white smoke coming out

That's the snake oil burning ...

Plunk: SK Hynix drops 72-layer 3D NAND on enterprise SSD market

I have a tube of 2708 EPROMs, are these now technically redundant?

What a Hancock-up: MP's social network app is a privacy disaster

Everyone needs their half hour of fame, this is Hancock's Half Hour.

UK's iconic Jodrell Bank Observatory nominated as World Heritage Site

Not a single mention of SPAAAAAAACE.