Posts by Paul Herber

I built a shed once. How hard can a data centre be?

Re: I got paid for xmas overtime.

An IT episode worthy of Ripping Yarns.

As Uncle Sam continues to clamp down on Big Tech, Apple pelted with more and more complaints from third-party App Store devs

Re: Has Big Tech gotten too big?

Cowardly Custard, Inc. will be all over them!

Re: You don't enter into a relationship with Apple...

are Apple worse than the Romans?

Windows might have frozen – but at least my feet are toasty

Re: Cold breeze

Socks? With sandals? Fashion crime (yeah, I know, as if that matters to a computer user)!

You can be my wingbot any time – US military successfully runs AI system on spy plane

AI used to mean

When was the crossover date when AI changed from meaning Artificial Insemination to Artificial Intelligence?

HP bows to pressure, reinstates free monthly ink plan... for existing customers

Customer Service (Complaints Division) has now become *the* major profit centre.

Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

US aviation regulator issues safety bulletins over flaws in software updates for Boeing 747, 777, 787 airliners

Maybe Boeing are trying to make their planes compatible with Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Back to the Fuchsia, part IV: Google's in-development OS now open to community contributions

Back to the Fuchsia

'Back to the Fuchsia'

Groan.

Apple appears to be charging Brits £309 to replace AirPods Max batteries, while Americans need only stump up $79

Things that have a limited lifespan

Apple anything, universes, celebs compliance with covid rules, my attention span ...

Microsoft pokes Cortana's corpse to give her telepathic abilities on Windows 10

' in their SharePoint or OneDrive for Business storage'

Does it work with Dropbox?

Where's the mysterious metal monolith today then? Oh look, it's atop a California mountain

Re: “Clump of plinths”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cambridge_Footlights_Revue

One day you have just one plinth, soon you'll have a whole clump of plinths.

Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah

Re: Simple explanation

It reads "Restoring Earth-backup-2020. Found 42 corrupt sectors. Found 1 virus".

NCSC's London HQ was chosen because GCHQ spies panicked at the prospect of grubby Shoreditch offices

Re: mandarin-friendly Victoria

The year 2020 was mentioned in the episode I saw.

mandarin-friendly Victoria

'mandarin-friendly Victoria'

Just who are running GCHQ?

Ericsson warns investors: This Biden fellow coming into the White House may look to resolve China trade dispute...

Re: Hint:

Have you not heard of the elite, socialist, deep-state media?

<sarcasm>

Bad software crashed Boeings. Now it appears the company lacked a singular software supremo

Type approval invalidated.

Windows 10 quite literally projects its deepest, darkest fears on to New Zealand

Petulant child

Haven't had one of them in the news for a long time.

No need for more asteroid-blasting attempts, NASA's OSIRIS-REx has more than enough space dirt

Who has given me thumbs down for this!!!!

Re: Isolation

Hull, the mystic east!

I hope this regolith will be put in isolation for a while in case it comes back with some nasty, alien virus.

How the tables have turned: Bloke says he trained facial recognition algorithm to identify police officers

fuzzy logic?

coat ...

Thought the FBI were the only ones able to unlock encrypted phones? Pretty much every US cop can get the job done

shut up kid

The 8 by 10 colour glossy photos after the Thanksgiving littering incident would make very poor evidence in comparison with what Officer Obie can get away with these days.

FYI: NASA appears to have scooped dirt from an asteroid 200 million miles away and plans to bring it back home

Re: "While you were out..."

That last bit got delivered to the wrong country. France is that way ->. Or is it that way <-

Re: "While you were out..."

They need Planet Express, but then Bender will steal it, or Hermes (as in Hermes Conrad)

LibreOffice rains on OpenOffice's 20th anniversary parade, tells rival project to 'do the right thing' and die

Re: "We were caught quite off guard"

Visio.

What's that, Lt Lassie? Three terrorists have fallen down a well? Strap on these AR goggles and we'll find 'em

Techno-specs, ex-NASA, fantastic for walkie-talkies!

Robot wars! Scandi automation biz AutoStore slings patent sueball, claims it owns Ocado warehouse tech

'storage bins stacked vertically'

Prior art ...

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/society.php

NHS COVID-19 launch: Risk-scoring algorithm criticised, the downloads, plus public told to 'upgrade their phones'

Covid-19 side-effect

2 million >3 year-old phones dumped.

Did this airliner land in the North Sea? No. So what happened? El Reg probes flight tracker site oddity

onboard IRS

I had an email from my onboard IRS the other week. Apparently I'm due a refund from my onboard IRS.

.UK overlord Nominet tells everyone not to worry about 'distorted' vote allocations in its board elections

Re: Nominet has lost its way

I see he went to the Kellogg School of Management. Does this make him a serial entrepreneur?

'Mindset reset' contributes to £1bn extra costs and another delay – 2 years this time – for Emergency Services Network

Re: Dildo

turd polishing

I want my automatic upgrades to go all the way up to 11G

Tesco self-service separates innocent Reg reader from beer after collapsing into heap of Windows dialog boxes

Re: Self Check-out

Sounds like a euphemism for a Suicide Booth.

Infor pays UK construction retailer Travis Perkins £4.2m settlement following cancelled upgrade of 'Sellotape and elastic bands' ERP system

Re: It's there, on the shelf. There, right in front of you, you idiot!

Whatever they want, you just know it'll end up a brick in 6 months time!

'its relationship with Travis Perkins.'

The older brother of Dorothy Perkins.

All part of the conglomerate owned by Sue Perkins and her cats.

No, it's not the trailer for the new Dune, it's the potential view from the 'Super Hi-Vision Camera' on Japan's 2024 mission to Mars

Re: There And Back Again

That's not the Muskie I was talking about!

Re: Raccoon

Looks more like Muskie to me, so which planet is Deputy Dawg?

Server buyers ask Lenovo for made-in-Mexico models instead of Chinese kit

Let's hope China doesn't tacOffence!

Borking all over the world: At home or abroad, you're never more than 6ft from a BSOD

Re: with all the resilience of a snowball lobbed at a blast furnace.

... and what us wrong with the standard whelk in a supernova?

You Musk be joking: A mind-reading Neuralink chip in a pig's brain? Downloadable memories? Telepathy? Watch and judge for yourself

' walked around, ate things, broke wind, and did other things pigs do, '

That's just the reassurance to men that it covers most of our basic needs. Most.

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

Re: Double Dutch

Now understand why the French (and Parisians in particular) look at us Brits in frank bewilderment when we try to speak Franglais!

Mere si beau coupe.

'ad you, mais.

Re: If you want irony ...

Splitters!

Be very afraid! British Army might scrap battle tanks for keyboard warriors – report

That was indeed the very nub of my gist.

I can see where this will go, the opposing armies will email lethal jokes to each other.

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

Re: Different countries, different flavours

Yes, but in Australia it's Kangaroo Feet and Claws.

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

tea

and towels

Warehouse management software biz SnapFulfil hit by ransomware: It's not just the big dogs getting KO'd

I get knocked down, but I get up again

Not one of Yes's more successful songs.

Linux kernel maintainers tear Paragon a new one after firm submits read-write NTFS driver in 27,000 lines of code

Re: Bit harsh

'Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes'

Is that the Timeo Danaos who plays for Barca? I didn't know he was with that Dona Ferentes these days!

Want to hear our beloved David Attenborough narrate your life? Thanks to the power of machine learning, you can

'slight tinny sound'

I think it needs a more woody sound. Attenborough, now there's a good woody word!