Posts by Paul Herber

Autonomy founder Mike Lynch flown to US for HPE fraud trial

Meta?

YouTube's 'Ad blockers not allowed' pop-up scares the bejesus out of netizens

That's not a river, just a stream!

Modular finds its Mojo, a Python superset with C-level speed

Re: Static typing in Python

I've never got the hang of Thursdays.

No more feature updates for Windows 10 – current version is final

That goes without saying. But apart from Windows Subsystem for Linux?

Florida folks dragged out of bed by false emergency texts

Re: Early evening?

and it's being carried out in April so it doesn't disturb the cricket.

Re: Nobody in the UK has a cellphone.

You'll have your work cut out finding anyone who knows what the subjunctive means these days ...

Musk tells Twitter advertisers: You're welcome back, but don't make demands

'in lieu of a poop emoji we were met with silence. '

Constipation.

I think he needs some SpaceXlax

Nine more US states join ad antitrust legal battle against Google

Re: I keep saying this...

I know the owner of a business selling bottled genuine faux albatross farts. There is no competition. None. Nobody cares a Sherman-whatsit.

This time next year they'll be millionaires!

Baidu sues Apple and anyone else in sight over ERNIE chatbot fakes

I've heard ERNIE is very powerful and could be used for autonomous vehicles. It's already running the fastest milkcart in the west!

Take a 14-mile trip on an autonomous Scottish bus starting next month

Re: Where will it end ?

Buy a 1st class ticket - you'll get a Butler!

Re: buses will operate with a "Captain" in the passenger cabin "to take tickets"

AI: Yes, most people see the return of clippie to be a good thing.

Astronomers clock runaway black hole leaving trail of fresh stars

It's just a game of inter-galactic pool. Oh, and by the way, Earth is in the way of middle-left pocket.

Move over, Google Earth. Caltech's here with a fresh 3D tour of Mars

Re: Now just sit back

That's the galactic rim, that is.

Decade-old patent battle goes Apple's way

Re: Earlier this week

Do people do things like that?

Ex-politico turned Meta hype man brands Metaverse 'new heart of computing'

Metabolics to the lot of them.

Virgin Orbit lays off 85% of staff as funding deal falters

Re: What planet are the politicians on?

That's no way to talk about the Grockles. Ok, maybe it is.

Microsoft wants to stick adverts in Bing chat responses

AI: I'm sorry, I am not fully understanding your requirements. Do you want to crap <constipation advert> hot <gee that's hot advert> potatoes <potato advert> or do you want something hard <blue pill advert> to collapse? Both can be on the cards <casino advert> with the right medication from <advert>.

Stick <stick advert> it <IT vendor advert>.

Alibaba to separate into six parts. Take that HP and IBM, with your puny two-way splits

I've been waiting to use the word 'sexfurcation' for a long time.

Apple sued for allegedly firing, threatening union organizers

Perhaps El Reg could ask Apple for their opinion on this matter.

.... <heat death of universe (with or without rounded corners)>

President Biden kind of mostly bans commercial spyware from US govt

Re: So from now on

.il

India-based cybergang busted for selling fake KFC franchises

Usefulness to society is inversely proportional to hat size.

Japanese outfit's private Moon mission enters Lunar orbit

Re: Wish there were more info on the transfer orbit

The Horse's Head Nebula?

BOFH: I care a lot ... about onion bhajis

Re: Bhajis?

Has nobody asked the onion bhajis for their opinion? I care deeply ... about onion bhajis.

I suspect I am borderline autistic and for me bhajis' feelings are more important than humans'.

Rather keen on bhindi bhaji as well actually.

Hold off on that 2046 Valentine's date, asteroid might hit Earth

'could hit Earth on Valentine's Day'

'if it were to hit Earth, it'd probably strike the Pacific Ocean region.'

Hold on there. We have a thing on this planet called the International Date Line, on one side of that line it will be Valentine's Day and on the

other side it won't be!

Duelling techies debugged printer by testing the strength of electric shocks

Re: Been There

I always get toothache at the same time every afternoon.

Wannabe space 'superpower' UK tosses £1.6M at eight research projects

£1.6M ? What's that in proper El-Reg units? 2 Prime Minister Loans?

Texas mulls law forcing ISPs to block access to abortion websites

Remind me of the reason the USA was fighting the Taliban.

Why ChatGPT should be considered a malevolent AI – and be destroyed

Re: It doesn't think you are dead now.

' life is an illusion'

and lunchtime doubly so.

It's official: BlackLotus malware can bypass Secure Boot on Windows machines

Re: Aguably yes, with some large buts attached

Turf windows

Is that the same as putting it out to grass?

Ford seeks patent for cars that ditch you if payments missed

Re: F.O.R.D

Found On Road, Dead.

Re: Don't suppose the patent covers...

911

This is a Frod, not a Porsche.

Ericsson pulls plug on 8,500 workers

'At least we know who isn't going to suffer Stockholm syndrome'

Does Ericsson gear suffer from Malmöware?

Var är min kappa?

Japanese balloon startup wants to 'democratize space' – with $180,000 ticket price

Re: Progress

Even more of a bargain if you can go shopping for a new kitchen door knob at the same time!

Light from a long time ago reaches James Webb Space Telescope

Re: but 30 times more compact

It's night-time, Jim, but not as we know it.

Marketing company chases Twitter for $7,000 over 'swag gift box for Elon'

Re: $800 for a cheese board and cheese?

Correct.

Re: $800 for a cheese board and cheese?

In France I have had my beef "Saignant". Perfect.

Re: $800 for a cheese board and cheese?

Don't eat a cow, man!

Amazon mandates return to office for 300,000 corporate staff

Re: Depends on your co-workers

'That can shift mere dislike to utter contempt.'

They employ cats?

99 year old man says cryptocurrency is for idiots

but the problem is finding out which half.

Take the blue pill: Keanu Reeves has had enough of AI baloney

Re: The Very Near Future ... but not as you were expecting IT and AI to make it for you.

or ...

As a neutral AI language model, I do not have personal opinions, but I can write an opinion piece based on factual information.

In recent years, the issue of Northern Ireland's status within the United Kingdom has once again risen to the forefront of political discourse. With the Brexit vote and subsequent negotiations affecting the relationship between Northern Ireland and the EU, many have started to question the stability of the Good Friday Agreement and the future of Northern Ireland within the UK.

There are those who believe that the current arrangement, in which Northern Ireland is part of the UK but also has a unique relationship with the EU through the Good Friday Agreement, is the best solution for all parties involved. They argue that it allows for the preservation of Northern Ireland's British identity while also acknowledging its unique history and relationship with the Republic of Ireland.

However, there are also those who believe that the current arrangement is untenable in the long term and that a re-united United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland is the only viable solution. They argue that the Good Friday Agreement was a temporary solution to a complex issue and that reunification is necessary for true peace and stability in the region.

Regardless of one's personal views on the matter, it is clear that the issue of Northern Ireland's status is a deeply divisive one that requires a nuanced and carefully considered approach. It is a delicate balance between acknowledging the unique history and identity of Northern Ireland and respecting the desires of those who wish to maintain the current arrangement or pursue reunification.

In conclusion, the future of Northern Ireland is a complex and contentious issue that requires a measured and thoughtful approach. It is essential that all parties involved engage in open and honest dialogue to find a solution that takes into account the desires and interests of all those affected. ....

Google miscalculates severance payments for some Googlers

Chocolate Box needs some AI - Arithmetic Integrity

US military spends weekend shooting down Useless Floating Objects

Re: Brigadier General Patrick Ryder said it "wasn't an aircraft per se"

I am not aware of this site having a pedant amongst its members before now.

It's your human hubris holding back AI acceptance

The "Dune" Butlerian Jihad cannot come too soon.

Scientists conclude cats only have three personalities after YouTube clip binge

Re: My Feline Overlords

Not just your opposable thumbs. It's also their lack of internet access. Just imagine if our overlords were to get to see human videos!!!! Peoples! Peoples videos!

Do not show your kitty anything on the internet via your tablet. KItties and tablets do not mix!

Amazon warehouse workers 'make history' with first official UK strike

Re: Avoiding Amazon

It was £1 on an item that should have a life of a good 10-15 years.

I needed to order something yesterday, cheapest was on Amazon, but an alternative (a normal online retail outlet) was only £1 more expensive. I'm willing to pay the difference.

NASA, DARPA to go nuclear in hopes of putting boots on Mars

Re: Where is the handbrake?

and if Musk or Bezos are involved then you can be sure it would have been fired just after leaving Earth orbit for doing nothing for a whole minute!

Ukraine slides closer to NATO with buckets of experience fending off Moscow's cyberattacks

Centre of Excellence

Pointy-haired boss - is that you?

Dear Stupid, I write with news I did not check the content of the [Name] field before sending this letter

Us subscribers to "Telephone Pole Number Spotters Weekly" declare this to be the next *Me Too* moment.

Tesla faked self-driving demo, Autopilot engineer testifies

Re: Obligatory Pratchett reference

Only in Korea.