Posts by Paul Herber

Technoking of comedy? Elon Musk to host Saturday Night Live

Re: We have to consider ourselved lucky

Have you had an accident in your Tesla recently and destroyed a tree as well as written off your car? Give lawyers Nole Skum a call right now, hey, we'll call for you!

What next for Visual Studio? Microsoft's monster IDE can't please everyone and 64-bit will not solve legacy problems

javascript

'trying to get developers to migrate Office add-ins to JavaScript '

Can javascript source code be hidden from the user? No.

Is it suitable for commercial Office addins? No.

Adobe co-founder and PostScript co-creator Charles Geschke dies, aged 81

Re: I understand

Good for him, hope he got good marks and gets to a good college.

I understand

I understand 'died'. I understand 'passed on', I understand 'passed away', but not just 'passed'. You pass tests, exams etc.

Pentagon confirms footage of three strange craft taken by the Navy are UFOs (no, that doesn't mean they're aliens)

I saw a UFO once, I was walking across a cornfield on a hot bright summer's day and saw a bright dot of light travelling quickly across the sky in front of me, so much faster than any aircraft could fly, and certainly not a satellite, but as I was watching it changed course and the dot of light changed into a bumble bee. Aaaah (no, that's not the sound of the anal probing).

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user

I actually meant Dr Father Dougal!

Ted, is that you?

Dr Father Ted.

Vote to turf out remainder of Nominet board looks inevitable after .uk registry ignores reform demands

Simon Blackler's business, Krystal, are good.

(Just a happy customer)

Listen, son... Monster trucks just aren't cool anymore. Real winners drive Tesla Roadsters

Re: Happy Meal tat

' 3D dinosaurs..'

Must be a triceratops then ...

Mine's the one with the scaly skin and 6" teeth.

Jackie 'You have no authority here' Weaver calls on the UK to extend Coronavirus Act provisions for online meetings

I want to stand for Dunny-in-the-Wold.

Let's have the residency aspect for MPs as well, n years before any election.

A keyboard? How quaint: Logitech and Baidu link arms to make an AI-enabled, voice-transcribing mouse

Re: That's odd, because ...

I'll raise you a Dally Llama and Winston La Pooh.

Mr Tibbet has bought my cow.

Average convicted British computer criminal is young, male, not highly skilled, researcher finds

Some people might say that the median computer programmer is “young and male, with mental health and development disorders over-represented in their number"

Re: Sampling Bias anyone???

What about the non-binary computer hackers? Can an analog computer be hacked? Sample-and-hold-and-hold-and-hold ...

Bless you: Yep, it's IBM's new name for tech services spinoff and totally not a hayfever medicine

New offshoots in the future: Kynnayl and Kynamma. It all end up Kyntytsup.

Prince Philip, inadvertent father of the Computer Misuse Act, dies aged 99

Re: No TV

'One of the big benefits of moving overseas, and to a republic no less, is that we don't get forelock tugging enforced mourning periods.'

I'll raise you a China, Cuba, Russia, North Korea ...

Airline software super-bug: Flight loads miscalculated because women using 'Miss' were treated as children

Re: 11 stone..

Seems a touch optimistic for the average weight of a child on a TUI flight out of the UK....

'Imagine' if Virgin Galactic actually did sub-orbital tourism: Firm unveils new chrome job on SpaceShip III

At least they are the right shape! Where's the Vicks Nasal Stick icon?

Re: How time flies,,,

Pointy Haired Boss: anything you don't know about must be easy.

Ok then Mr Musk and Mr Branson, if you're both clever enough to create spaceships, you tell us what colour they should be!

Something fishy is going on in Taiwan as folk change name to include 'salmon' for free sushi

No bones about it, we need an annual International Fish Pun Day.

Microsoft fixes the thing it broke via another dose of out-of-band patching to deal with BSOD printing problems

I have only one thing to say, and I shall only say it once ...

ISBN 1-55615-551-4

Holes patched in Russian segment of the ISS though pesky pressure loss continues

Re: Time to start bailing

There's a hole in the bucket!

Out of this world: Listen to Perseverance rover fire its laser at Mars rocks as the wind whips around it

Re: Someone needs to reread their copy of

Martians are People, too!

Another Windows 10 patch that breaks printers ups ante to full-on Blue Screen of Death

Voted down for paraphrasing Red Dwarf? Shame!

What do you want a printer for? Printers are for losers!

Huawei's first desktop PC to be sold outside China is a sleek business machine with optional 'smart' keyboard

Re: "like your favourite coffee table book."

Presumably because it gets on teh internets and thus has a huge supply of "cat pictures".

Fixed for you.

Delayed, overbudget and broken. Of course Microsoft's finest would be found in NASA's Orion

What do you want Oxygen for? Oxygen's for losers!

The bank of Bitcoin: MicroStrategy's share price rides high on the back of cryptocurrency investment

Re: Investment? Speculation!

This time next year when I'm a millionaire I'll invest all my funds in the derivative tulip futures market.

SpaceX small print on Starlink insists no Earth government has authority or sovereignty over Martian activities

Re: Remember 1776 ......

Let's have any putative Martian constitution be written by the nation that first colonises the place, so that'll probably be China. Happy?

Has Amazon finally gone cuckoo? Bezos' behemoth turns to crowdfunding for Alexa-powered timepiece

Re: "Amazon ultimately wants to become the Everything Store"

'Store' is derived from the Norse word Storr meaning Large, so there is the target!

I can help ...

I've got a few spare cuckoo clock parts here. I can give Amazon the bird.

You don't have clearance for that: Microsoft ups the paranoia with a preview of Azure Firewall Premium

IPv6 support "is under investigation"

IPv6 - we've heard of it ... is it new?

Watch this space: Apple offers free repairs for the self-bricking Apple Watch SE and Series 5 wearables

I love

my brick!

Better buckle up: Volkswagen puts Microsoft in driver's seat to deliver 'automated' platform

Re: Automotive Clippy

Not Beachy Head, but ....

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-56017248

Nobody was in the car!

NASA offers foodies, boffins $500,000 to find ways for astronauts to make their own dinners on the Moon, Mars

Re: Ok,

Of course you'll need potatoes, you can't make a prawn vindaloo without potatoes!

Re: White on very light grey, NASA?

People don't go to Cape Canaveral to see NASA do live brain surgery!

Ever wanted to own a piece of the internet? Now you can: $1 for a whole gTLD... or $2.8m if you want a decent one

I want

.meh

NASA to have another go at firing Space Launch System engines because just over a minute of data won't cut it

Re: Schedules

"people's lives are more important than glory"

You've never been in politics, have you!

Tab minimalists look away: Vivaldi introduces two-level tab stacks

Re: Some people

Nobody will ever need more than 640K tabs!

Fujitsu opens door, invites '200 to 250' staff from UK Delivery team to walk out

vacancy

My local post office needs to hire a new postmaster. Might suit some ex-Fujitsu employees if there is nothing else on the horizon ...

Microsoft emits 83 security fixes – and miscreants are already exploiting one of the vulns in Windows Defender

Right, Microsoft, no more new features to be added until the monthly patch count is down to single figures!

No pudding until you eat your dinner.

Waterloo! Windows defeated, your sign is screwed. Waterloo! Promise to bork you forevermore

Re: Now, alas, it plays host to Bork.

They were designed to be all different!

Waterloo

Gare d'Austerlitz

Checkmate.

Boffins store text message inside E coli bacteria using electromagnetic signal – and you'll never guess what it says

The message will be ...

This virus brought to you via a 5G network.

Brit infrastructure stuck in neverending restart cycle... and that's just the Microsoft 365 admin center

I think you want the Telegram article which is ---> that way.

Bug? No, Telegram exposing its users' precise location is a feature working as 'expected'

'fake Bitcoin investments'

Is there any other type?