Posts by Paul Herber

Capita to see wave of UK government contracts come to an end by 2025

Re: Ahh the talented government

Is this a poorly translated message to Comrade Corbyn from his masters?

Re: Ahh the talented government

Name one country where this isn't the case.

Voyager 1 space probe producing ‘anomalous telemetry data’

Re: The big dish

How does that work with wet electrolytics?

Re: The big dish

Capacitors? They were called condensors back in those days!

Google Docs crashed when fed 'And. And. And. And. And.'

Re: I can think of legit sentences with lots of ands together

We've had Partygate, and another Partygate, now it's time for Andgate. Or Not.

JK Flipflop (Mrs)

Don't hate on cryptomining, hate the power stations, say Bitcoin super-fans

' just for you to declare (honestly) if you are invested or not.'

If every politician and government advisor in every country had to declare whether or not they had had any cryptocurrency dealings at any time, past or present, directly or indirectly, how many would you believe?

a. I didn't know that was a cryptocurrency.

b. That transaction was made by my 2 year-old son.

c. I have no recollection of that transaction.

d. Somebody else must have access to my bank account!

e. I've been scammed.

f. That money was just resting in my account.

g. I resigned from that company at least 3 minutes ago.

h. I wanted to make some money to help my community.

i. <deity> told me it was the right thing to do.

j. I promise I won't do it again and lessons have been learned.

Spanish PM, defense minister latest Pegasus spyware victims

What do you want? An explanation or an apology, or is neither good for you?

Human-made hopper out-leaps rival robots in artificial jumping contest

Re: Just one jump?

Code written in Cobol. Helps it jump with grace.

Elon Musk flogs $8.4bn of Tesla shares amid Twitter offer drama

'martin schekel'

ITYM Martin Shkreli

MIT's thin plastic speakers fall flat. And that's by design

Re: Interesting tech!

'Although I do foresee a dystopian future where every surface that isn't an ad-screen is a speaker surface spouting inane muzak.'

Although I do foresee a dystopian future where every surface that isn't an ad-screen is a microphone listening to everything everywhere.

FTFY

Dropbox unplugged its own datacenter – and things went better than expected

Re: Let Met Just Say...

Ha, BOFH's plan has worked. Smug mode never lasts for long ... I can't wait for the next stage, and I'm sure the timing will be perfect.

Microsoft fixes Point of Sale bug that delayed Windows 11 startup for 40 minutes

Re: P.O.S.

P.O.S.

Poxy Old Sh*te

Oracle already wins 'crypto bug of the year' with Java digital signature bypass

Re: :D--

It's a smiley combined with a D-- to go with the C++.

++

:D--

repeat(money++) until (all money in Oracle)

There is a similar bug in all of Oracle's customer compliance tools. Even if the number of users = 0 and the amount of usage by these users = 0 then the compliance tool shows that the customer has got to pay Oracle some more money.

When the expert speaker at an NFT tech panel goes rogue

Re: So it's not just me.

I suggest people investigate where the sunlight comes from and try to put the cucumbers as close as possible to that source!

Beijing approves first new video games in nine months

Re: Do books need to be approved as well?

Banned - Jane Eyre and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland! What next? Winnie-the-Pooh?

Russian media watchdog bans Google from advertising its services

Re: Fascism 101

Don't bring the Irish into this!

How do China's cyber-spies snoop on governments, NGOs? Probably like this

Yes, I know. Just wanted to give someone the opportunity to start the full list ...

'espionage campaign against .... religious groups,'

Who are the targets here then? Methodists? 7th Day Adventists? Druids? Mormons?

Happy birthday Windows 3.1, aka 'the one that Visual Basic kept crashing on'

Re: Registry, ugh

I raise you Visual SourceSafe.

Re: If You Ask Me

So many things I never think of ...

Re: If You Ask Me

' trying to reinvent the wheel'

I think someone has an axle to grind.

<Pedant mode>you could zip up a bare install of Windows.

</Pedant mode>

Sorry.

DARPA says US hypersonic missile is ready for real world

Re: Missile Gap

hot gravel?

First Light says it's hit nuclear fusion breakthrough with no fancy lasers, magnets

Happiness

Happiness is a warm gas-power gun

IBM deliberately misclassified mainframe sales to enrich execs, lawsuit claims

Re: Unethical business practices

I Blame Marketing

Beijing to build Communist training college in a metaverse

what happens when people disappear from the metaverse?

Do they disappear in real-life too? And vice-versa?

I think we need a really good, solid definition of life.

NASA will award contract for second lunar lander to a biz that's not SpaceX

If competition is so important ...

If competition is so important why is there only one moon?

Testing for COVID with the sound of a cough? There’s an app for that

But the cost is not to be sneezed at.

How not to attract a WSL (or any) engineer

looking at the

Looking at the picture associated with this article, maybe they want someone who can work outside the tickbox.

Microsoft Visual Studio: Cluttering up developer disks for 25 years

Visual Studio - the 1st time I heard it mentioned I assumed from the name that it was graphics editor.

How experimental was Microsoft's 'experimental banner' in File Explorer?

'browsing for binaries'

Some in the LGBTQ+ communities might not like that ...

An open-source COBOL contender emerges

A well-known computer centre used to often run out of toilet paper and old cobol dump printouts were put in a bin to be used in such emergencies - hence the phrase - take a dump.

And not many people know that.

Re: "COBOL-2002, which introduced object oriented programming"

Ancient history.

So, now we all know the Blondie song written in Object Cobol:

This.picture my telephone number

Get a pocket computer

What I'm telling you is one and one

Stop (FFS stop)

Are we springing into a Y2K-class nightmare?

Re: USA change its date format ...

It's not the weight of a Saturn V in pounds that is the problem, it's the weight of Saturn in pounds!

There's an idea to be floated.

Re: historical memory loss

In a truly free society everyone would have their own personal time zone and carry it around with them. Like their own personal space. Everyone needs their own personal space-time.

Re: Daylight Daylight Savings Time

I think we should change the clocks every day during winter, they should run at 1/2 speed at night and at double speed in the daytime, then we could all (apart from the night-workers but nobody cares about them in daylight saving discussions!) get up in daylight and have long sunny evenings even in the winter! Works for me. Sunshine icon.

Re: USA change its date format ...

There was nothing wrong with the ancient Egyptian standard sizes for papyrus in my opinion.

We never should have moved to vellum!

UK, EU regulators probe Google and Meta's 'Jedi Blue' ad deal

Re: The pole

Thank you for your order for 40 lashes. You might like to know that we have a very special offer on at the moment for 41 lashes for the price of 40 lashes. What the deuce, lets make it 42!

New Windows 11 build boasts inbox updates and UI tweaks

"The search box in Start and Search will periodically update with content, including fun illustrations, that help you discover more, be connected, and stay productive,"

Ah, paperclip Mk II

Europe's largest nuclear plant on fire after Russian attack

Re: Evil mastermind or incompetence at work?

I really must object most strongly to your adjectives describing President Putin. Diplomatic incidents, nay, even wars have been started over less! Whether you hate him or love him, there is no need to use the word "little". He is no shorter than many other dictators! And if I were in his shoes then I'm sure I'd be taller!

The zero-password future can't come soon enough

Re: 2FA problem

I'm sure the password would be asked for next ...

2FA problem

One problem I've found with 2FA not relying on a password is having the wrong phone number attached to the account. I have a Paypal account like this, all I'm asked for is to respond to the 4-digit code sent to a phone number, which I no longer have access to, it's now a dead number. I can't even get as far as using the password, or any of the secret answers. I've spent an hour on the phone with Paypal support, the one thing they can't change is the phone number. Blah. There's only a few tens of pounds in the account, but it could be so much worse.

BOFH: All hail the job cuts consultant

Re: "Gerard's going to recommend firing the board."

A French-speaking Gerard who is an actor, ah, Comrade Depardieu. Bet he's glad he handed back his French passport now! Bon chance!

Re: "Gerard's going to recommend firing the board."

Try putting that through on expenses. Accounts would go ballistic!

US imposes sanctions as Russia invades Ukraine

Re: Opinions from ...

Ah, I have now looked up what these two have been saying!

Re: Here's a thought....

'Lastly, the older I get the more I wish people and nations would just learn to play nicely '

42. No, that doesn't work.

Opinions from ...

We have yet to hear the opinions of Trumpski and Corbynov. All I hear is silence.