Posts by Paul Herber

Tesla faces Autopilot lawsuit alleging phantom braking

Re: an alleged malfunction that makes vehicles stop for nonexistent objects

The vehicle behind is a van(gelis)

Re: an alleged malfunction that makes vehicles stop for nonexistent objects

The car behind will be toast.

NASA scrubs Artemis SLS Moon rocket launch

NASA

Yes, NASA, none of this Nasa nonsense I've seen in the last few years.

Compound that 'remembers' phase transitions could have uses in computer memory

up to three hours

'up to three hours'

I can forsee a time when a 3 hour memory will, er, something, and who are you?

PanWriter: Cross-platform writing tool runs on anything and outputs to anything

Re: What's it for?

'Vade retro Satana'

Loved their music back in the 70s. Abraxas was the best.

Musk tries to sell Tesla's Optimus robot butler to China

walk fast in small steps

Will the Chinese approve of a robot's mincing gait?

Google promises to adjust search algorithm to favor 'people-first content'

Re: A good start….

How many here will admit to having looked for crumpet? Hot, buttered crumpet.

Google teaches robots to serve humans – with large language models the key

Re: Asking the robot something like "I just worked out, can you get me a healthy snack?"

Bite my shiny metal apple!

If I had a robo-butler

I'd call it Banter.

Software developer cracks Hyundai car security with Google search

How about Doom Bar?

<Obvious icon>

PC store told it can't claim full cyber-crime insurance after social-engineering attack

Re: Closer to being insurance fraud

They'll save loads of money next year, on insurance, 'cos nobody will cover them! Wanna buy a barge pole?

More datacenters coming to Ireland, despite energy concerns

Re: As a geologically stable country surrounded by ocean

Nukes in Ireland? That's a bit beyond the pale.

Keep your cables tidy. You never know when someone might need some wine

Re: fail - over?

American Pi in some states.

a long drop into the inky blackness

'... a long drop into the inky blackness.'

Otherwise known as the Marketing Dept.

AI laser probe for prostate cancer enters clinical trials

Prostate tests have been digital for a long time.

Microsoft: Outlook desktop app crashing due to missing identity setting

In an outfit the size of MS I very much doubt that it is an intern determining any UI change like that. These changes go quite high up the committee feeding trough.

UK wants criminal migrants to scan their faces up to five times a day using a watch

Re: What has immigration status got to do with criminal punishment?

Is it important whether the cake is coffee and walnut coloured or carrot coloured? I have to admit to being cakeist!

Scientist shares spicy pic of 'James Webb' discovery

I find a colander works better in the kitchen.

Claims of AI sentience branded 'pure clickbait'

Re: "When I look at my toaster, I don't feel it has those things."

Ah, you're a waffle man!

The many derivatives of the CP/M operating system

ISIS

Some here may remember Intel's development system OS, ISIS. I seem to remember reading that Gary Kildall used ISIS to write CP/M and PL/M.

Bad news, older tech workers: Job advert language works against you

Re: Decision made

Bullgaria?

Decision made

I declare that I shall no longer apply for non-existent jobs, nor shallI create non-existent jobs, nor create or suffer harrasment in the workplace, never again shall I be late in the morning, or cause embarrassment by wanting to work late in the evenings. No manager shall ever complain that my work is not up to scratch, or doesn't meet the spec. When other people ask me how something works, never again shall I say "look in the documentation I wrote last week", nor will I be short with cow-orkers, whatever the provocation, for this week I come of full retirement age, and do I thank ****!

Suspected radiation alert saboteurs cuffed by cops after sensors disabled

There's the perpetrator - quick - caesium!

NASA's Lunar Orbiter spots comfortably warm 'pits' all over the Moon

17C

yes, but my wife would still be wanting to wear thick socks and a nice warm scarf amd telling me to wear a jacket.

Windows Start Menu not starting? You're not alone

'maybe turn it off and turn it on again'

Maybe turn it on and then off permanently.

My smartphone has wiped my microSD card again: Is it a conspiracy?

I can visualise a modern version of The Four Yorkshiremen sketch based around the usage and woes of SD cards.

Personally, I swear by Ee-ba-gum brand, but keep away from that Ecky-Thump rubbish.

We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything

Re: Don't know if it's just that my coffee hasn't kicked in yet...

and that's what you pay your TV licence fee for!

(Chris Packham)

Google: Kremlin-backed goons spread Android malware disguised as pro-Ukraine app

Kremlin-backed goons

Pres.Putin needs to be very careful with that lot around. Keep away from the Caspian Sea, Black Sea etc.

He's fallen in the water!

British boffins make touchless computing tech on the cheap

Re: Fitness for programmers

Waving hands in the air and talking ******** is generally know as testiculation.

Meta's Giphy buy could be back on after watchdog agrees to reboot investigation

Re: We'll be back in jiffy

Yes, but they renamed it as ciffy some time ago, but everyone ignores that.

Amazon gave Ring video to cops without consent or warrant 11 times so far in 2022

Re: One up on Stalin

20 feet, in some places that is all the way across the street and into the house opposite!

US military contractor moves to buy Israeli spy-tech company NSO Group

Re: More than five…

The French technology est Fermé Dimanche et Lundi and sometimes on Mardi. And it will just stop working at random for its 2 week annual holiday whenever it feels like it, then want to retire at 50 on a full pension.

if not the USA

then I'm sure buyers could be found in China, Iran, Russia, N Korea ...

Microsoft's sought-after tabbed File Explorer gets closer to release

Re: Sought after by who(m)?

Free Commander XE is pretty good as well.

Meta slammed with eight lawsuits claiming social media hurts kids

Re: Obviously social media is terrible for kids

If you look at what many of the parents do and look like then you will see the problem!

Record players make comeback with Ikea, others pitching tricked-out turntables

Re: Digital transmission?

Nem veszem meg ezt a trafikot, karcos!

Re: Too good is bad

" I like the sound of that room..." ... Ahhhh! I see what you did there.

That spiral groove on a record reminds me of something. Oh, yes, I know ... the approved path around an IKEA store!

Alibaba sued for selling a 3D printer that overheated, caught fire, and killed a man

Lost face.

GitHub drops Atom bomb: Open-source text editor mothballed by end of year

Re: GOD Works in Mysterious Ways for/at/with Microsoft

'Perly Gates'

No relation to Bill.

Photonic processor can classify millions of images faster than you can blink

Re: The actual test involved classifying hand-drawn "P" and "d" characters projected onto the chip

ndsıpә pomu, Shirley.

Re: Yawn!

Peeps on the interwebs need to know difference between cats and KITTENS!!!!!

Japan's asteroid probe reportedly found 20 amino acids

Re: But then the free thinker / crank / conspiracy theorist would argue ....

But if I'd written cobblers instead on cobollers the pun wouldn't have worked, and some people would still not have understood.

Re: But then the free thinker / crank / conspiracy theorist would argue ....

The universes are all a load of cobollers.

Taser maker offers electric-shock drones to stop school shootings

'Doing what the rest of the developed world (more or less) does.'

What? Go metric?

That time a techie accidentally improved an airline's productivity

That's how the band ZZ Top got their name.

Re: From the headline

Error P1NT - drink not attached.

Fixed.

Quantum computing startup probed in report, securities suit

Present for you ----->

They'll need a modern version of Hughie Green to do that.

I designed a binary counter once, whenever I added 1 and 1 it resulted in an answer of 0. Absolutely useless!