Posts by Paul Herber

Tesla on the wrong tracks with Fail Self Driving, Senators worry

Re: Not the first time I've seen a video like that

A train doing about 40MPH !!!! Whoever heard of such a thing!!!!! Looks very dangerous to me, a peril to car drivers. Ban them!!!

< / s >

FSD - Fatal, Suicidal, Deadly.

UK splurges £4.4M on drones, e-planes, and other flights of fancy

Re: OXCAM

The cash boost will give it wings.

UK to roll out mandatory digital ID for right to work by 2029

Re: IDs..

Ah, so that's Mr Ed Balls to you.

EU starting registration of fingerprints and faces for short-stay foreigners

Re: Not enough

Red Dwarf had its mind probe, detecting criminality guilt.

PC memory costs to climb as fabs chase filthy lucre in servers and HBM

I've got some 4116 16k x 1 200ns DRAM chips, 7 of them. Am I going to become rich?

UK chancellor Putin the blame on Russia for cyber chaos, but evidence says otherwise

Re: Evidence

No Minister

Hmmm, most of the cast of Yes Minister are dead. I can't imagine who could be involved in a re-imagining. Maybe some non-entity will weasel their way into it.

Slow Wi-Fi? Add houseplants to the list of suspects

Re: Microwaves don't pass well through water?

Humans are bad for your wifi. Remove all friends and family from your home ... oh, sorry, most of you don't have friends! <troll>

Basically, kill all humans!

Nice try, sinners: Pope nixes idea of AI pontiff blessing netizens

Re: How about an in between

Many people think Marilyn 36:23:36 is preferable.

P.S. The hoi polloi? Tut tut.

On a horse, under a tree, next to a river.

Microsoft boasts about humongous datacenter on abandoned Foxconn site in Wisconsin

Re: "Ten times faster than the world's largest supercomputer"

In Jacksonville they have two sheds.

French jet left circling while Corsican controller caught Zs

Re: "Pay attention. Get off the iPad"

Spherical geometry.

Oblate-spheroidal geometry.

Re: "Pay attention. Get off the iPad"

Would he fly Easyjet?

Why Microsoft has the name of an old mouse hidden in its Bluetooth drivers

Their own specification that the device would be identified with a text string containing a character not allowed within the Bluetooth spec. Somebody at MS would have decided that.

Of all the outfits in all the world why is it only Microsoft who are unable to read and follow specifications created by Microsoft?

OpenAI says models are programmed to make stuff up instead of admitting ignorance

Re: I have countless transcripts

I know it was a typo but, how about

CharladyGPT

TaxiDriverGPT

HairdresserGPT

BartenderGPT

PoliticianGPT

All good for ill-informed advice!

Microsoft pens $15B love letter to the UK with 23,000 Nvidia GPUs attached

"Microsoft pens $15B"

Too expensive.

Overmind bags $6M to predict deployment blast radius before the explosion

"Overmind bags $6M"

My wife wants an Overmind bag now and wants to know what colours are available.

Icon: yes, she'll be wanting a new jacket to go with it ... and shoes ...

;-)

China slaps 1-hour deadline on reporting serious cyber incidents

Meanwhile a different country relaxes the notification rules if only customer data is involved, or if there could be a detrimental effect on the stock price.

Half of tech firms plotting restructures as AI hype bites

"I've reduced it from 9,000 heads to about 5,000 because I need less heads,"

I wish I hadn't sacked my human assistant as I would then have learned about the word "fewer".

Starlink outage knocks tens of thousands offline worldwide

'you just have to wait until the bit you want comes around'

Just like Alice's Restaurant then.

Here it comes ...

" allows customers to access the internet with just a receiver,"

Er, how do you tell the system what you want to receive?

Or is this a case of downloading the whole internet onto one floppy disk?

After deleting a web server, I started checking what I typed before hitting 'Enter'

Re: code that ate itself

Only if it dies on Gaz-patch-io Tuesday.

Re: Never delete the old web site, only rename it

and website.old.temp

and website.old_v2 (copy) that isn't a copy.

Re: Wilma ...

They're having a barney.

Bharti big shots storm BT boardroom after £3.6B raid

Those jokes about BT being Bangalore Telecom ...

BOFH: These office thefts really take the biscuit

Re: Good Job it wasn't me.

And it is for stories like this that we pay our TV licence fee subscribe to El Reg.

Re: South Up Map

English-French menu translations? You are going down a linguistic cul-de-sac there. Beware of any tout suite you find in the en-suite.

Zut alors.

Re: South Up Map

Apparently a female cat is preferable.

"Wrong, but interesting."

Have you been talking to my wife?

The inverted jaffa cake conclusion? Mornington Crescent!

"I am so glad I didn't go into accountancy for a career....."

So you went in for lion taming instead?

US House Appropriations Committee saves NASA budget, Prez holds the veto pen

They can use it to house the homeless. Well insulated. Comfortable seats. Just one thing. No pets.

Microsoft folds Sales, Service, Finance Copilots into 365

Re: Wait

That'll make it Coco The Clown.

Space Command gets Trumped out of Colorado, voting conspiracy cited

Re: Message from Donald J Trump, President Of The United States

I Xi what you did there.

Reg readers have spoken: 93% back move away from Microsoft in UK public sector

Sorry, vultures are a non-native species here. Can we make do with red kites instead?

Re: What if.....

For art students, and MS Paint is not a database!

Word to autosave new docs to the cloud before you can even hit Ctrl+S

Re: Auto spyware

Oblast? Surely you come up with stronger words than that!

Re: Wrongthink

What's this? Linux migration timetable? Room 101 doesn't have windows!

Microsoft tweaks Windows Out of Box Experience for enterprises to adjust control freakery

Out of Box Experience

more like

Out of Body Experience

Bug bounties: The good, the bad, and the frankly ridiculous ways to do it

'finance, fame, and fixing it'

finance, fame, and totally f*ing it up

I think that's what you meant.

OneNote for Windows 10 support clock counts down

One note? B flat.

Orange Belgium mega-breach exposes 850K customers to serious fraud

Re: Orange Belgium

At least 2 Bruges don't understand puns.

Re: Orange Belgium

The stupid Ghent.

Trump's gold-plated smartphone can't seem to decide which design to copy

Trumpmobile! I heard he had a thing about being Pope, but maybe wanting his version of the Popemobile was what was all about!

New Yorkers will soon be able to yell 'I'm walkin here!' to Waymo robotaxis

Taxi: Get in the car.

You: I'm walking.

Taxi: It has been determined that you are 25% likely to jaywalk within the next 10 minutes. Get in the car.

You: I'm walking.

Taxi: It's 1 degree below freezing. It's not good for your health. You might slip on ice. Get in the car.

You: I'm walking.

Taxi: There are looters within 3 miles of here, 1 homeless person within 1 mile, and you have walked more than the recommended exercise limits for New Yorkers of your age group, which is highly suspicious, Mister Gorsky of Apartment 27, Grungeway Heights. Yes, we know all about you. Get in the car or this vehicle will enforce City Ordinance 175825 which means we start to get mean.

How low can colo go, asks JLL, as datacenter vacancy rates near zero

Re: Spying is expensive

What's the point of being a multi-billionaire if you have to wipe your own arse?

August update leaves Windows reset and recovery dead in the water

Re: Pushing Windows 11

One day there is going to be an update that breaks Win 10/11 so badly that it all becomes unrecoverable.

Microsoft's Nuance coughs up $8.5M to rid itself of MOVEit breach suit

Someone at MS 1: "Secure File Transfer Program", do we have any secure files?

Someone at MS 2: Not any more!

Someone at MS 1: Thought not, scrap that idea then!

/s

Minority Report: Now with more spreadsheets and guesswork

That sort of organisation can't exist in a vacuum.