Posts by Paul Herber

Rhyme is the key to set AIs free when verse outsmarts security

Peas, honey and dead swans instantly come to mind ...

UK minister ducks cost questions on nationwide digital ID scheme

"UK minister ducks"

I would very much like to see ducks become eligible to become ministers within the UK parliamentary system. They might do a better job than the lizards. Mind you, ducks need duck ponds and duck houses and then the expenses really start mounting up!

<icon=looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, weighs the same as a duck ...>

Linux admin hated downtime so much he schlepped a live UPS during office move

Re: There is uptime ...

"6 months" ?

I've heard about a computer somewhere with a really dull name that had a planned up-time of seven and a half million years!

Systemd 259 release candidate flexes musl support – with long list of caveats

Re: Caveat emptor?

Defectus sensus humoris.

Where is Gloria? Is she still in transit?

Re: Caveat emptor?

It's one community versus another. I'm sure both sides have bona fide reasons for their stance, but will there ever be consensus? No while someone has an ego.

Windows boss defends 'agentic OS' push as users plead for reliability

<looks up at sky>

oink, oink, oink.

AI music has finally beaten hat-act humans, but sounds nothing like victory

Lament by King Crimson:

I guess I tried to show you how

I'd take the crowd with my guitar

And businessmen would clap their hands

And clip another fat cigar

And publishers would spread the news

And print my music far and wide

All the kids who played the blues

Would learn my licks with a bottleneck slide

But now it seems the bubble's burst

Although you know there was a time

When love songs gathered in my head

With poetry in every line

And strong men strove to hold the doors

With my friends, I passed that age

People stomped on dirty floors

Before I trod the rock 'n' roll stage

I'll thank the man who's on the phone

And if he got some time to spend

The problem I'll explain once more

And indicate a sum to lend

That ten percent is now a joke

Maybe 30, even 35

I'll say my daddy's had a stroke

He'd have one now, if he only was alive

I like the way you look at me

You're laughing too down there inside

I took my chance and you took yours

You crewed my ship, we missed the tide

I like the way the music goes

A few good guys who can play it right

I like the way it moves my toes

Say it when you wanna go and dance all night

Source: Musixmatch

Retro Games opens pre-orders for THEA1200, a full-size working Amiga replica

I predict ...

... that in 30 years time there will be an emulator for Windows 11 so everyone can run their favourite retro AI apps.

Happy holidays: AI-enabled toys teach kids how to play with fire, sharp objects

I want my fire-knife to be nasally inhalable. And green. And matches that don't go on strike.

States that aren't nice to ICE still sharing key database full of personal info

Re: hamper law enforcement efforts,

You have lawmakers. They will need to make up new laws.

Prisons gotta make money!

AI pilots keep crashing, mostly because firms skip the prep, survey finds

TL;AI;DR

Apple knits up $230 sock for your iPhone in time for Christmas

Re: The bullshit these people come out with

If your toes are anything like British Rail sandwiches then they will need ironing.

Obviously not for those a bit down at heel.

First stellar Coronal Mass Ejection detected beyond our Sun

"The CME flinger was a red dwarf, as are many stars in the Milky Way that have planets orbiting them."

I'm sure it's more likely to be a garbage pod.

MS Task Manager turns 30: Creator reveals how a 'very Unixy impulse' endured in Windows

Task Manager was my 101% fave Windows app.

Australia’s spy boss says authoritarian nations ready to commit ‘high-impact sabotage’

Re: while addressing greedy stooges

"...grannies and grumpy old sods posting memes..."

Grannies and grumpy old sods don't even know what a meme is!

Microsoft's lack of quality control is out of control

Re: Well, it compiles!

We're coding along on the crest of a wave ...

Well, it compiles!

Well, it compiles!

Foxconn hires humanoid robots to make servers at Nvidia's Texas factory

Re: Don't worry

Is that like Silicon Heaven, Mr Lister, sir?

Senate bill would require companies to report AI layoffs as job cuts reach 20-year high in October

Re: Good

"a token effort to show they care"

... without actually doing so.

Re: But.... The Dear Leader has said....

"Gas is $1.98 a gal and he has 17trillion on the shelf"

His gas, his 17T, his shelf.

Malware-pwned laptop gifts cybercriminals Nikkei's Slack

Re: There's a lot of it going around

What are your suspected malware symptoms?

UK space sector 'lacks strategic direction,' Lords warn

Re: Space sector?

"... never really registered on my radar"

Stealthy Secret Space Sector.

"Only the most forward-looking and strategic states will be able to reap the benefits of the expanding and changing space economy — those who do not adapt will be left behind."

If the need for a sovereign spaceport is paramount then Andorra, San Marino, Luxembourg and Liechtenstein stand no chance.

China uses Mars orbiter to snap interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS

This interstellar object is small, that one is far away, small and moving very fast.

Keeping the lights on takes up nearly all police IT spending in England and Wales

The Weddell Gyre takes some beating ...

Re: That's good.

mode=Homer

mmmm, Duff, mmmm

The police take a long time to introduce new technology. New Scotland Yard is still waiting to go metric.

For me NAO will always be the North Atlantic Oscillation.

Not my favourite dance move.

'What the hell, Microsoft?' Users hit with incorrect ESU and LTSC Win10 out-of-support messages

Re: Ms Patch Tuesday

... also missed out an n from the middle of one word.

365? They don't make numbers like that any more!

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Tesla board wants to grant Musk $1T in stock, Norway wealth fund says nope

Re: Hmmm "the world's largest such fund,"

Norway used to be the poor man of northern Europe.

Re: Musk needs to reconsider his position

"... don't believe in 'green' anything ..."

Has anyone suggested to Elmo about putting a good ol American V8 cast iron lump in a Tesla. Or two V8s. Call it a dual-motor!

Cybercrooks getting violent more often to secure big payouts in Europe

"upscale Peninsula Hotel"

When did upscale take over from upmarket?

AN0M, the backdoored ‘secure’ messaging app for criminals, is still producing arrests after four years

"the presence of two Harley Davidson motorcycles among the restrained assets, a likely hint to the affiliation of some of those arrested."

Is this The Blubbery Belly and Bushy Beard Brigade?

Microsoft, Alphabet throw more cash on the AI bonfire

It'll be so difficult to find your way around that you'll also need a navigator.

Maybe Windows 11 will be the last version. It's just a typical 'off by one' error.

Gullible bots struggle to distinguish between facts and beliefs

"... in your toaster ... "

Oh no!

Robotic lawnmower uses AI to dodge cats, toys

Re: Untrustworthy Company

You could try suing them but the lawyers will just tell you they are untouchable.

Developer puts Windows 7 on a crash diet, drops it to down to 69 MB

Re: Weather...

Wouldn't it be a brilliant idea if every country used their own temperature scale? And weights and measures? And currency? And laws? And language? And laws of chemistry, physics and mathematics?

Actor couldn’t understand why computer didn’t work when the curtain came down

Welcome to Thursday.

Re: The Devil is in the details

"2 Corinthians 11"

Rubbish cricket team though.

APL?

"if the holy spirit was entering the mainframe on Sundays"

using modern(-ish) English instead of some translation into a language such as, say, Latin, Greek or even Aramaic!

Microsoft gives Windows 11 a fresh Start – here's how to get it

I really like that category view. All that's needed now is for each category to be in its own window. Oooh, hello Win 3.1 Program Manager, welcome back!

Dame Emma Thompson gives the 'AI revolution' both barrels

Bring back Power Pup.

https://www.wussu.com/humour/images/tywych04.gif

Sole trader dispatched almost 1M spam texts to hard-up Brits, says watchdog

"Those that replied in the affirmative..."

What sort of person does so?