Posts by Paul Herber

Bank's datacenter died after travelling back in time to 1970

Re: Wallace

Cheese has cheese mites, and mite is an anagram of time!

Sorted.

Messed up metadata could be to blame for Microsoft's Windows printer woes

'It ended with a perky "I hope this helps!"'

Is that the way you like it, Mr Beeblebrox?

HP TV ads claim its printers are 'made to be less hated'

Hated Peripherals, Ink.

My wife used to have an HP printer. With the amount of ink cartridges she got through it would have been cheaper to have taken a taxi to the local print shop! (Only slight exaggeration)

Tech renders iconic rockers Kiss genuinely immortal

Re: Money for nothing

A digital Kiss would be a 1 0ff.

But at least there's only one Star Wars film.

Ah yes, The Immortal Holographic Dopplegangers. I saw them at The Roundhouse, Camden Town, must have been 1973 or so. They were in the audience listening to a decent band.

Regulator says stranger entered hospital, treated a patient, took a document ... then vanished

Re: A future who me?

In Russia you want all instructions in writing, the important bits need to be bullet points.

Health crusaders prep legal challenge over NHS mega contract with Palantir

Send in a General Administrator to Nominate Data Acquisition Licence Formulation.

AI threatens to automate away the clergy

What's the point of staying up all night arguing about whether there is or isn't a God when the AI just goes and gives you God's telephone number next morning?

Lenovo's USB-C Power Banks pack more heat than expected

As Lithium is/was used in thermonuclear devices, very appropriate.With this one simple hack you become the owner of a fusion bomb.

Revival of Medley/Interlisp: Elegant weapon for a more civilized age sharpened up again

Re: lore

Loads of Insidious Superfluous Parentheses

AI copyright row deepens: Stability VP quits in protest over 'fair use' excuse

Re: training generative AI models on copyrighted works is 'fair use'

Muckey Mouse? Yes, you'll have the copyright holders of 'Hello! Hello!' first in the queueueueue.

Scientists use Raspberry Pi tech to protect NASA telescope data

Re: I'm reminded of early space exploration

Better to use lead then instead of graphite, and it'll be weightless !!! In spaaaace.

Re: "we insured the scientific returns of superBIT against a loss event that came true"

With management the only plan is to pass the blame when it goes wrong.

You get a Copilot, and you get a Copilot – Microsoft now the Copilot company

I think I'm feeling very depressed.

Musk thinks X marks the spot for Grok AI engine based on social network

Re: Musk vs Heinlein

Muskie wants Twitter, sorry, X, to be Ubikuitous.

My old work colleague, Emmet, just totally groks grockles.

King Charles III signs off on UK Online Safety Act, with unenforceable spying clause

Re: Seems you can fool most of the people

Well, lock up the unicorns in that case.

Larry Ale-ison institute invests in Oxford pub linked to Tolkien, CS Lewis

Re: Licensing authorities should regularly inspect it

1. You enjoyed that pint 10% more than standard. That'll cost you extra.

2. Pints must be drunk in one go, sipping your beer slows down your next purchase. That'll cost you extra.

3. Your pint glass stuck to at least one beer mat. That'll cost you extra.

4. Half-pints actually cost us more than serving you a full pint. That'll cost you extra.

5. Discussion of other beers/pubs is forbidden. That'll cost you extra.

6. You have not eaten the minimum required number of peanuts/cheesy wotsits/pork scratchings per pint. That'll cost you extra.

7. You have eaten more than the maximum required number of peanuts/cheesy wotsits/pork scratchings per pint. That'll cost you extra.

8. You made an enquiry about how many peanuts/cheesy wotsits/pork scratchings should be consumed per pint. That'll cost you extra.

9. You have tasted your drink companion's beer. That'll cost you extra.

10. Your drinking companion tasted your beer. That'll cost you extra.

11. More than one beer mat was used to stop the table from rocking on the uneven floor. That'll cost you extra.

Drop beer. Drop table.

Error 0, beer not found.

The problem with Jon Stewart is that Apple appears to have cancelled his show

Well, doesn't that take the biscuit.

Buyer's remorse haunts 3 in 5 business software purchases

Re: Typo fixed: Oracleham.

Brumacle?

X marks the bot: Musk thinks spammers won't pay $1 a year

Re: Elmo just desperately needs the money.

With the number of goons even an ex-POTUS has around I'm surprised he hasn't fallen in the water.

Swedish tech biz aims to sail past traffic woes on electric hydrofoils

'the Stockholm trials won’t be undertaken until Spring 2024'

Any trials before the spring might require ice skates rather than a hydrofoil.

Beethoven and Brahms move audience members to synchronization symphony

Re: Other sharing

Needs an icon

Tweaked Space Shuttle Main Engine gets ready for final testing

" to be dumped into the ocean during launch, along with the rest of the core stage."

Are you the type of person who picks up any rubbish you seeing while walking on the beach? Well, you may as well stop bothering.

NASA can dump it quicker that you can pick it up.

X Social Media sues Twitter 2.0 over alphabet soup branding

Re: X social media

It's a mere actually, not a lake.

Pedant? Moi?

Scandium-based nuclear clocks promise punctuality for next 300 billion years

Re: That oh $*** moment

Here it is now coming round the corner, just behind the one that is only 9511 years late.

Re: one clock

You're driving much too fast.

Re: Clock speed variations

I set my watch when I'm down the pub. Every evening the landlord calls out "time gentlemen, please" and he gets the response "11 o'clock". Good enough for me. Oo, is there time for another?

NASA delays already-late $1B Psyche probe's visit to metal-rich asteroid

Re: "The asteroid is made up of a mixture of rock and metal"

'smooth jazz'

Nice.

Bermuda, your data, Google's gonna take your US data

Re: How fast can 294,911 Brontosauruses talk to one another?

Is this the internet backbone?

Switch to hit the fan as BT begins prep ahead of analog phone sunset

Re: “Roads? Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads” (Doc Brown)

That's back to the past.

OSIRIS-REx successfully delivers NASA's first asteroid sample

Re: I for one,...

Asteroid Over Lords = AOL.

Meet Honda's latest electric vehicle: A rideable suitcase

Re: So, Honda is now

Suits you, sir.

Amazon's three rocket makers insist Project Kuiper will launch on schedule

Rocket Science /= Brain Surgery

Lawyer's Microsoft email snafu goes from $1.75M lawsuit to Ctrl+Alt+Settle

Re: Typical lawyering

Won't somebody think of the money!

Germany's wild boars still too radioactive to eat largely due to Cold War nuke tests

I'm boared.

After injecting pop-up ads for Bing into Windows, Microsoft now bends to Europe on links

Desperate.

Silicon Valley billionaires secretly buy up land for new California city

Just build a Perkins AFB next to Travis AFB and people will be able to buy stuff to build their own homes.

Profits just keep rolling in at T-Mobile US. So only thing to do is axe 5,000 workers

Re: The ManSpeak / PR Department Seems To Be Fully Staffed

5am? Loser! Get out of here!

I like the cut of your GPT-jib.

Dropbox limits ‘all the storage you need’ unlimited plan, blames abusive users

I think it's vitally important to backup my swap file every 5 minutes, just in case.

That's made we wonder when it was that the entire interwebs thingy capacity was only 110 GB?

High severity vuln in WinRAR could allow code to run when files are opened

Re: Yes, but...

I prevent bugs like that by always looping to infinity -1.

Brainwaves rock! Scientists decode Pink Floyd tune straight from the noggin

Re: Visceral response

PF's Echoes is one of them.

Re: patterns with regression-based decoding models.

PF were around long before prog. Psychedelia was their first genre. Not that anyone had "genres" in those days, but that was their thing. That was the bag they were into, man.

ISP's ads 'misleadingly implied' existence of 6G, says watchdog

In theory packet delivery could use any of the Mustelidae.

It's spelled weasel but pronounced wisel.