Posts by Paul Herber

Cloud to be an American: Congress votes to kick China off remote GPU services

Re: Europe needs to follow suit

' dubious utility as worker replacements'

With suitable model input an AI might even take over El Presidente's job soon...

Maybe it already has!

Affordable housing site goes live with meme-laden test data

Re: Darn, they must read El Reg.

password won't work. They're probably 133t hakkerz. Try p455w0rd.

Danish dev delights kid by turning floppy drive into easy TV remote

Re: WTF

... or even worse, Noel Edmonds!!!!!

Re: Ahhh... reminds me of Star Trek

... and where are you going to find anyone who can clean out or replace the chicken soup nozzle?

ISS stint ends early as NASA aborts Crew-11 over crew illness

I would hate to get toothache while in space, or earache even, or even a paper cut!

But you're not going to be going up there if there is any sign of tooth decay.

Microsoft Windows Media Player stops serving up CD album info

Re: consumers are returning to physical media like CDs

'.. CDs smeared with jam!'

Best way to make sure the peas stick to the CD.

Re: consumers are returning to physical media like CDs

I understand that problems often occur on a Monday but by Tuesday they're not so bad.

(Yes, I know, but these are the words I want for the song in this context.)

Yes, criminals are using AI to vibe-code malware

What a Carry On

"dangling attack"

Sounds like something from Carry On Cyberattack Coding.

Oo-er. you keep your danglies to yourself!

The last supported version of HP-UX is no more

That was the start of Bill and Dave's Excellent Adventure.

Icon: Both divine beings.

Indeed.

And they were known as Hewlett Packard, not plain old HP!

From this article you might gather that once upon a time HP was a well-respected company that made interesting, industry-leading, technically proficient hardware and software.

Who knew?

Try telling that to the kids of today ...

Capita tells civil servants to wait for chatbots to fix pension portal woes

Helping to make "Lower Your Expectations" one of your life mantras.

Starlink to lower orbits of thousands of satellites over safety concerns

'pooh-poohed the notion'

Nothing worse than being pooh-poohed. Before you know it the pooh-pooh will get pooh-poohed and then that pooh-pooh will get pooh-poohed. We will end up with a pooh-pooh Kessler Syndrome.

Former IBM CEO Lou Gerstner passes, aged 83

Re: It must have been an awkward burial

'As soon as the casket was lowered it started spinning'

which gave someone an idea for a new quantum memory device ...

Re: Too big

Trouble is that the marketing dept. have become the customer.

Re: Do typographical 'letters' have carbon footprints?

In the past, typesetters used to receive monetary compensation depending upon the alphabetical length of the er, thingy wotsits.

A bit late in life to be taking his driving test, was my first thought.

Seville: Famed for blue skies and now Blue Screens of Death

Re: "Sevile"

If it had then got -> gotten, Shirley.

Worst limerick, ever!

Stop the slop by disabling AI features in Chrome

Re: DuckDuckGo

You are an individual.

Humanoid robots are still novelty acts, but investment is surging to make them real tomorrow

Re: God would have given all of us two digits instead of five with opposable thumbs

So T. Rex was almost there.

Windows is testing a new, wider Run dialog box. Here’s how to try it

If the button is not provided then you do not need it.

Oracle's new AI-enhanced support portal leaves users fuming

AI has made things better, said nobody, ever!

Uber and Lyft rolling Baidu robotaxis into London next year

Re: bringing another safe and reliable travel option to Londoners

That's the point of rails.

Hacktivists scrape 86M Spotify tracks, claim their aim is to preserve culture

That 300TB is all Never Gonna ...

The ultimate Rick Roll.

The Roomba failed because it just kind of sucked

Saying that makes all other vacuum cleaner companies see red!

New boss was bad, his attitude was ugly, so the tech team pranked him good

Re: "Have you used tech to prank colleagues, and gotten away with it?"

"... did not end with summary dismissal."

We need no more reminders of The Ashes please!

AI-authored code contains worse bugs than software crafted by humans

Re: Spelling errors were 1.76x more common in human PRs

Really takes the biscuit.

Re: Accountants

AI accounting software will tell you that 6 x 9 = 42

The very idea make me very depressed.

China turns on a vast experimental network it says is an heir to ARPANET

"72 terabytes of data"

A small porn collection by modern standards.

NASA tries savin' MAVEN as Mars probe loses contact with Earth

Re: Geeez

Was it a local shop?

Re: "tumbling and off it's predicted trajectory"

Well, I've had two accidents recently, I died in the first one but luckily survived the second!

But now the steaks are higher.

Aliens.

England keeping pen and paper exams despite limited digital expansion

Re: Waste of time and money?

"but no-one sane writes code on paper."

What, exactly, is wrong with the back of a cigarette packet?

MI6 chief: We'll be as fluent in Python as we are in Russian

I bet you can't guess what this does:

Microsoft security update breaks MSMQ on older Win systems

Windows version 22H2 renumbered to H5N1.

US freezes $42B trade pact with UK over digital tax row

Re: Making a deal with Trump..

"really hot vindaloo"

Making deals is just meat and potatoes to some people.

Re: What's the safe word?

of?

I'll let the missing apostrophes go... I'm kind like that.

Re: “European country”

"Sir Nigel"

Gresley?

Re: Tactical Option?

... he's a very naughty ... ooops, wrong scene.

Re: Tactical Option?

The tat comes from China. Where is the tit?

"that Trump's replacement will be any better."

Jr.

Roomba maker iRobot gets cleaned out in Chapter 11

Do we pre-fir fish puns or tree puns?

The CRASH Clock is ticking as satellite congestion in low Earth orbit worsens

Re: Starlink Collision Avoidance

Mr Muskmate will declare that he has come up with a Starlink Collision Avoidance Methodology. It's an ology, the best ology, and the biggest ology ever!

BOFH: If another meeting is scheduled, someone is going to have a scheduled accident

Sometimes powers users need to be introduced to real power in the form of V x I.

Trump's AI 'Genesis Mission' emerges from Land of Confusion

Re: Genesis?

Just tell it to Foxtrot Off.

US extradites Ukrainian woman accused of hacking meat processing plant for Russia

Re: Statement of Vulnerability

Yes, so why do at least 16 down-voters not recognise such in my post? Maybe I'm too much of the heretic instead of the iconoclast.