* Posts by Paul Herber

759 posts • joined 28 Nov 2014


Good news for UK tech contractors as govt repeals IR35 tax rules

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Re: Wake me up

But the cheese is good.

Amazon accused of singling out, harassing union organizers

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Re: The Commons

Hence the troll.

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Re: "what staff can and can't do in break rooms and other non-work areas"

$5? I can do it for $4.50 with free postage.

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Re: The Commons

An Amazon-Meta merger?

Emissions-slashing hybrid trains to hit tracks in Europe

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Re: Wow thats new

Oooo, can't wait for the first report of a fusion-powered loco. Maybe 30 years away?

US accident investigators want alcohol breathalyzers in all new vehicles

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one in three traffic fatalities on US roads involve alcohol

'one in three traffic fatalities on US roads involve alcohol '

which means that two out of three accidents were caused by sober drivers! We need a minimum intake requirement. Hic. Need a troll icon as well.

Tesla Megapack battery ignites at substation after less than 6 months

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Re: Look to Dinorwig

I'd suggest not mass populating much of California in the first place, starting n hundred years ago.

In Rust We Trust: Microsoft Azure CTO shuns C and C++

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Re: Rust fixed that for you

The PHB has had it with C and C++ because he never could write anything that compiled.


Queen's shooting star was actually meteor, not SpaceX junk

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Re: Thats Pretty Close

'Southern Canada'

Is this a new country? Are you declaring independence? I think you'll be a bit late to get an invitation to Westminster Abbey!"

Rare hexagonal diamond formed by crash of dwarf planet and asteroid, scientists believe

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Mohs scale up to 11?

Demand for software experts pushes tech salaries higher in UK

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Re: Over in the US, analysts at RBC Capital Markets!?

Move the border a few miles south. Vermont can become South Quebec and North Dakota can become South Manitoba.

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'Disgusted Of Tunbridge Wells'

Well, I didn't vote for you!

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Re: Over in the US, analysts at RBC Capital Markets!?

RBC might have an office in the USA!

Chinese researchers make car glide 35mm above ground in maglev test

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I'd like to see a maglev train run from pole-to-pole.

Rest in peace, Queen Elizabeth II – Britain's first high-tech monarch

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Re: She was a good one

'when it comes to meat the French have a dozen subtle degrees between raw and barely warm'

As I found out a few weeks ago when a slight misunderstanding about which beef was au point. Still, nice to find out that it is possible for steak to be more chilled than the Sancerre.

NASA sees our space future as both government and privately run

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Some people need access to the GREEN CRAYON key.

Chances good for NASA Artemis SLS Moon launch on Saturday

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Re: Massive Moon Rocket


Make Mars Rusty Again

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Re: Sausage Rolls.....

Hope you don't all end up with heavy nose bleeds after your "special" sausage rolls!

Former Microsoft UX boss doesn't like the Windows 11 Start menu either

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"to make 'S' and 't' align beautifully for the word 'Start'"

Well, that's just fine and dandy for English, but what about the rest of the universe?

Tesla faces Autopilot lawsuit alleging phantom braking

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Re: an alleged malfunction that makes vehicles stop for nonexistent objects

The vehicle behind is a van(gelis)

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Re: an alleged malfunction that makes vehicles stop for nonexistent objects

The car behind will be toast.

NASA scrubs Artemis SLS Moon rocket launch

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Yes, NASA, none of this Nasa nonsense I've seen in the last few years.

Compound that 'remembers' phase transitions could have uses in computer memory

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up to three hours

'up to three hours'

I can forsee a time when a 3 hour memory will, er, something, and who are you?

PanWriter: Cross-platform writing tool runs on anything and outputs to anything

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Re: What's it for?

'Vade retro Satana'

Loved their music back in the 70s. Abraxas was the best.

Musk tries to sell Tesla's Optimus robot butler to China

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walk fast in small steps

Will the Chinese approve of a robot's mincing gait?

Google promises to adjust search algorithm to favor 'people-first content'

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Re: A good start….

How many here will admit to having looked for crumpet? Hot, buttered crumpet.

Google teaches robots to serve humans – with large language models the key

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Re: Asking the robot something like "I just worked out, can you get me a healthy snack?"

Bite my shiny metal apple!

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If I had a robo-butler

I'd call it Banter.

Software developer cracks Hyundai car security with Google search

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How about Doom Bar?

<Obvious icon>

PC store told it can't claim full cyber-crime insurance after social-engineering attack

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Re: Closer to being insurance fraud

They'll save loads of money next year, on insurance, 'cos nobody will cover them! Wanna buy a barge pole?

More datacenters coming to Ireland, despite energy concerns

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Re: As a geologically stable country surrounded by ocean

Nukes in Ireland? That's a bit beyond the pale.

Keep your cables tidy. You never know when someone might need some wine

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Re: fail - over?

American Pi in some states.

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a long drop into the inky blackness

'... a long drop into the inky blackness.'

Otherwise known as the Marketing Dept.

AI laser probe for prostate cancer enters clinical trials

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Prostate tests have been digital for a long time.

Microsoft: Outlook desktop app crashing due to missing identity setting

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In an outfit the size of MS I very much doubt that it is an intern determining any UI change like that. These changes go quite high up the committee feeding trough.

UK wants criminal migrants to scan their faces up to five times a day using a watch

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Re: What has immigration status got to do with criminal punishment?

Is it important whether the cake is coffee and walnut coloured or carrot coloured? I have to admit to being cakeist!

Scientist shares spicy pic of 'James Webb' discovery

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I find a colander works better in the kitchen.

Claims of AI sentience branded 'pure clickbait'

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Re: "When I look at my toaster, I don't feel it has those things."

Ah, you're a waffle man!

The many derivatives of the CP/M operating system

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Some here may remember Intel's development system OS, ISIS. I seem to remember reading that Gary Kildall used ISIS to write CP/M and PL/M.

Bad news, older tech workers: Job advert language works against you

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Re: Decision made


Paul Herber Silver badge

Decision made

I declare that I shall no longer apply for non-existent jobs, nor shallI create non-existent jobs, nor create or suffer harrasment in the workplace, never again shall I be late in the morning, or cause embarrassment by wanting to work late in the evenings. No manager shall ever complain that my work is not up to scratch, or doesn't meet the spec. When other people ask me how something works, never again shall I say "look in the documentation I wrote last week", nor will I be short with cow-orkers, whatever the provocation, for this week I come of full retirement age, and do I thank ****!

Suspected radiation alert saboteurs cuffed by cops after sensors disabled

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There's the perpetrator - quick - caesium!

NASA's Lunar Orbiter spots comfortably warm 'pits' all over the Moon

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yes, but my wife would still be wanting to wear thick socks and a nice warm scarf amd telling me to wear a jacket.

Windows Start Menu not starting? You're not alone

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'maybe turn it off and turn it on again'

Maybe turn it on and then off permanently.

My smartphone has wiped my microSD card again: Is it a conspiracy?

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I can visualise a modern version of The Four Yorkshiremen sketch based around the usage and woes of SD cards.

Personally, I swear by Ee-ba-gum brand, but keep away from that Ecky-Thump rubbish.

We've got a photocopier and it can copy anything

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Re: Don't know if it's just that my coffee hasn't kicked in yet...

and that's what you pay your TV licence fee for!

(Chris Packham)

Google: Kremlin-backed goons spread Android malware disguised as pro-Ukraine app

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Kremlin-backed goons

Pres.Putin needs to be very careful with that lot around. Keep away from the Caspian Sea, Black Sea etc.

He's fallen in the water!

British boffins make touchless computing tech on the cheap

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Re: Fitness for programmers

Waving hands in the air and talking ******** is generally know as testiculation.

Meta's Giphy buy could be back on after watchdog agrees to reboot investigation

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Re: We'll be back in jiffy

Yes, but they renamed it as ciffy some time ago, but everyone ignores that.

Amazon gave Ring video to cops without consent or warrant 11 times so far in 2022

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Re: One up on Stalin

20 feet, in some places that is all the way across the street and into the house opposite!



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