* Posts by Paul Herber

573 posts • joined 28 Nov 2014


Nine floors underground, Oracle's Israel data centre can 'withstand a rocket, a missile or even a car bomb'

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IRTA as Nine Feet Underground, is 70s band Caravan back in fashion?

Windows 11 in detail: Incremental upgrade spoilt by onerous system requirements and usability mis-steps

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Round things, square things ... this is starting to sound like Play School (BBC children's TV).

Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram deplatform themselves: Services down globally

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My mother

My mother joined F/B yesterday. I think it's her fault.

UK's £5bn National Cyber Force HQ to be sited in Lancashire beside Defence Secretary's constituency

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The name Samlesbury always sounds like it should be in Wiltshire.

One-character bug gives away $90m in COMP tokens – recipients can keep 10% or consider themselves doxxed

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Rigorous testing and auditing. This was mentioned elsewhere on El Reg. I shall have to find out more ... sorry, no budget for that.

A crypto-trading hamster is outperforming the S&P 500, Nasdaq, Bitcoin

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Re: wouldn't be the first time

or as per Newman and Baddiel's feuding professors:

a. You see that whale in the distance?

b. I see that Cetacean surfacing ...

a. That's the size of your pet hamster, that is.

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I have a friend from Barcelona asking me whether it is the right time to invest in Siberian Hamsters.

'Nobody in their right mind would build a naval base here today': Navigating in and out of Devonport

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Left hand down a bit.

Hellfire and damnation: Two French monks charged over 5G mast arson attack

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'a Capuchin monastery'

So, monks getting up to monkey business.

Où est mon manteau ?

Space tourists splash down in Atlantic Ocean after three days in orbit

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Re: Every breath you take...

Too late


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Re: ...in one piece.

Nomination for a Bad Taste Award.

Why tell the doctor where it hurts, when you could use emoji instead?

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Re: History repeats itself

Also compare emoji sizes for testicle and brain.

Only 'natural persons' can be recognized as patent inventors, not AI systems, US judge rules

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Re: He ought to give it up

Any aliens would probably be sufficiently advanced compared to us that any patents we have would be instantly out of date compared to their technology. Who is interested in a patent for a pointy stick with rounded corners when The Traders arrive with their portable atomic powered personal shields the size of a walnut


US Air Force chief software officer quits after launching Hellfire missile of a LinkedIn post at his former bosses

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Re: So true...

It's one thing to know all about DevSecOps. But what if your speciality is SecDevOps or DevOpsSec. It's all OpsSecDevSec to me.

More cracks found in Russian annex of the International Space Station

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'It's safe to say the station generally leaks a small amount of air all the time, which the crew compensates for.'

My wife tells me that I am well qualified for this job. Icon + curry. Sorted.

Think you can solve the UK's electric vehicle charging point puzzle? The Ordnance Survey wants to hear about it

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I think this is a wind-up!

Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain

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Re: Border Bureaucracy?

Too late, too much of the country already has a huge underground infrastructure viz. the national curry sauce pipeline that starts at Southall, many local and national lager pipelines, and the newly-built kebab slurry pipe running under all the major UK motorways.

A man spent a year in jail on a murder charge that hinged on disputed AI evidence. Now the case has been dropped

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Sense of humour failure?

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The Butlerian Jihad cannot come too soon!

UK's Surveillance Camera Commissioner grills Hikvision on China human rights abuses

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Re: CCTV in England is obviouslty a new trend....

How good are they at recognising A(ussie)-list celebs out and about in HK when they should be isolating?

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Re: An Easy Equation

It's the ists who are a problem ...

terrorists, separatists, racists, psychiatrists, maoists, receptionists, sexists, florists, communists, chemists, socialists, optimists, wantedlists ...

Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland

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Re: Bampots

Bidh an fheadhainn ris an canar na romansan a ’dol chun taigh

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Re: Sumption is wrong

'When you get arrested, you have the right to a fair trial before being jailed.'

When you get arrested, you have the right to a fair trial before being hanged.


British defence supplier Ultra Electronics to be sold for £2.6bn to US-controlled firm

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Re: doesn't bode well for Britain's industrial future

Marconi, Racal, GEC, Plessey, Dowty, Ferranti, Lucas, Decca ....all gone.

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Selling England By The Pound

Tired: What3Words. Wired: A clone location-tracking service based on FOUR words – and they are all extremely rude

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Homophones has got nothing against you either. Can't say the same about other Greek philosophers though.

You can now live life like Paul Allen on Microsoft cofounder's luxury yacht for '£1m a week'

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"It turns out if you go 1,000 ft down in the ocean, it's really dark, and the animals are really strange. But if you put on some Pink Floyd, it's fantastic."

Sounds like one of Neil's lines from The Young Ones.

Woman sues McDonald's for $14 after cheeseburger ad did exactly what it's designed to

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We could reap the Bounty of the seas!

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Does this help them to talk in tongues?

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Please stay on-topic.

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Re: The Sin of Gluttony

'cos the sin of pi is always zero.


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Re: Can I make a suggestion?

Give her a voucher, for use in Burger King.

Hey, AI software developers, you are taking Unicode into account, right ... right?

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Thorn (Þ, þ) and Eth (Ð, ð) are in Icelandic (and Eth is in Faroese), not Norwegian. (sorry to be a pedant).

84-year-old fined €250,000 for keeping Nazi war machines – including tank – in basement

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'the tank's restoration had been his "life's work." '

It's a beautiful tank!

What is your greatest weakness? The definitive list of the many kinds of interviewer you will meet in Hell

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Re: ...weakness?

The usual management thing of 'not invented here'

Good news: Jeff Bezos went to space. Bad news: He's back

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Pointy stick?

(This was from before the days of warfare involving soft fruit)

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There were many jealous people when it was announced that one of the super-rich owned two rocks!

Who needs two rocks?

Our Friends Electric: A pair of alternative options for getting around town

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Re: The door

It counted as a motorcycle (motorcycle + sidecar combo).

Not only is Hubble back online after outage, it's already taking photos of the cosmos

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Re: Life without the shuttle

'Good hardware can do a lot without humans in the picture.'

You have an appointment with Lord Bender at 2.30 this afternoon.

Happy 'Freedom Day': Stats suggest many in England don't want it or think it's a terrible idea

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In some countries if it's not illegal then it must be compulsory, or is it the other way round?

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Re: Well?

If this *were* Facebook. I hang my head in shame!

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Re: Well?

If this was Facebook it would have been posted as a selfie with the OP next to a well, in imminent danger of falling down said well. Cliffs, bridges, high buildings, aircraft are also available.

This page has been deliberately left blank

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You are just cowed by your true overlords to the north, Judith of Durham and her mate, Geordie Girl. Xenophobes have their own anthem - World of our Own.

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Britney Houston

Great Britney

Britney To The Church On Time


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Support the Hayling Island Popular Front !

Buyer of $28m Blue Origin space ticket has a scheduling conflict – so this teen will go instead

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Blue Origin Ticket

Blue Origin Ticket

Anyone interested?

This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has a ticket

for a flight on Blue Origin. He paid $28 million, but he didn't

realise when he bought it that it was going to be the same day as his

Covid 19 postponed wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for

someone to take his place.

It's at Pontypridd Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The Bride's name is

Megan, she's 29, about 5'4", quite pretty, has her own income and

is a really good cook.

<paraphrased from a rugby ticket joke>

This is the data watchdog! Surrender your Matt Hancock smoochy-kiss pics right now!

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Re: Would they have bothered ...

Let's say I visited some government building for some legitimate purpose, used the facilities but forgot to do up my fly on the way out, this was caught on the CCTV and a picture of me with my fly undone was released by person unknown to an astonished public. Would I be happy?

UK's biggest trade union takes aim at Amazon over 'price gouging' allegations

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respect for ...

a union exec whose statement is not :

blah blah blah ... my members ... blah blah blah



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