* Posts by Paul Herber

420 posts • joined 28 Nov 2014


No need for more asteroid-blasting attempts, NASA's OSIRIS-REx has more than enough space dirt

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Re: Isolation

Hull, the mystic east!

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I hope this regolith will be put in isolation for a while in case it comes back with some nasty, alien virus.

How the tables have turned: Bloke says he trained facial recognition algorithm to identify police officers

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fuzzy logic?

coat ...

Thought the FBI were the only ones able to unlock encrypted phones? Pretty much every US cop can get the job done

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shut up kid

The 8 by 10 colour glossy photos after the Thanksgiving littering incident would make very poor evidence in comparison with what Officer Obie can get away with these days.

FYI: NASA appears to have scooped dirt from an asteroid 200 million miles away and plans to bring it back home

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Re: "While you were out..."

That last bit got delivered to the wrong country. France is that way ->. Or is it that way <-

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: "While you were out..."

They need Planet Express, but then Bender will steal it, or Hermes (as in Hermes Conrad)

LibreOffice rains on OpenOffice's 20th anniversary parade, tells rival project to 'do the right thing' and die

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Re: "We were caught quite off guard"


What's that, Lt Lassie? Three terrorists have fallen down a well? Strap on these AR goggles and we'll find 'em

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Techno-specs, ex-NASA, fantastic for walkie-talkies!

Robot wars! Scandi automation biz AutoStore slings patent sueball, claims it owns Ocado warehouse tech

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'storage bins stacked vertically'

Prior art ...


NHS COVID-19 launch: Risk-scoring algorithm criticised, the downloads, plus public told to 'upgrade their phones'

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Covid-19 side-effect

2 million >3 year-old phones dumped.

Did this airliner land in the North Sea? No. So what happened? El Reg probes flight tracker site oddity

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onboard IRS

I had an email from my onboard IRS the other week. Apparently I'm due a refund from my onboard IRS.

.UK overlord Nominet tells everyone not to worry about 'distorted' vote allocations in its board elections

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Re: Nominet has lost its way

I see he went to the Kellogg School of Management. Does this make him a serial entrepreneur?

'Mindset reset' contributes to £1bn extra costs and another delay – 2 years this time – for Emergency Services Network

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Re: Dildo

turd polishing

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I want my automatic upgrades to go all the way up to 11G

Tesco self-service separates innocent Reg reader from beer after collapsing into heap of Windows dialog boxes

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Re: Self Check-out

Sounds like a euphemism for a Suicide Booth.

Infor pays UK construction retailer Travis Perkins £4.2m settlement following cancelled upgrade of 'Sellotape and elastic bands' ERP system

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Re: It's there, on the shelf. There, right in front of you, you idiot!

Whatever they want, you just know it'll end up a brick in 6 months time!

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'its relationship with Travis Perkins.'

The older brother of Dorothy Perkins.

All part of the conglomerate owned by Sue Perkins and her cats.

No, it's not the trailer for the new Dune, it's the potential view from the 'Super Hi-Vision Camera' on Japan's 2024 mission to Mars

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Re: There And Back Again

That's not the Muskie I was talking about!

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Re: Raccoon

Looks more like Muskie to me, so which planet is Deputy Dawg?

Server buyers ask Lenovo for made-in-Mexico models instead of Chinese kit

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Let's hope China doesn't tacOffence!

Borking all over the world: At home or abroad, you're never more than 6ft from a BSOD

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Re: with all the resilience of a snowball lobbed at a blast furnace.

... and what us wrong with the standard whelk in a supernova?

You Musk be joking: A mind-reading Neuralink chip in a pig's brain? Downloadable memories? Telepathy? Watch and judge for yourself

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' walked around, ate things, broke wind, and did other things pigs do, '

That's just the reassurance to men that it covers most of our basic needs. Most.

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

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Re: Double Dutch

Now understand why the French (and Parisians in particular) look at us Brits in frank bewilderment when we try to speak Franglais!

Mere si beau coupe.

'ad you, mais.

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Re: If you want irony ...


Be very afraid! British Army might scrap battle tanks for keyboard warriors – report

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That was indeed the very nub of my gist.

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I can see where this will go, the opposing armies will email lethal jokes to each other.

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

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Re: Different countries, different flavours

Yes, but in Australia it's Kangaroo Feet and Claws.

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

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and towels

Warehouse management software biz SnapFulfil hit by ransomware: It's not just the big dogs getting KO'd

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I get knocked down, but I get up again

Not one of Yes's more successful songs.

Linux kernel maintainers tear Paragon a new one after firm submits read-write NTFS driver in 27,000 lines of code

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Re: Bit harsh

'Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes'

Is that the Timeo Danaos who plays for Barca? I didn't know he was with that Dona Ferentes these days!

Want to hear our beloved David Attenborough narrate your life? Thanks to the power of machine learning, you can

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'slight tinny sound'

I think it needs a more woody sound. Attenborough, now there's a good woody word!

SAP blogger reveals top tips for keeping clients happy: Don’t swear, remember to write a pithy subject line, and TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

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'never use the word "wanker"'

Schoolboy sniggers for Wayne Kerr Electronics ...

Eagle-on-EGLE* violence: American icon sends govt-flown drone hurtling into the waters of Lake Michigan

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' into four feet (1.2m) of water'

In years gone by their first thoughts might have been "Get Jacques Cousteau".

Android user chucks potential $10bn+ sueball at Google over 'spying', 'harvesting data'... this time to build supposed rival to TikTok called 'Shorts'

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Re: I've been using lockbox ...

I used the other Lockbox from 10 years ago until about 6 years ago. No longer. Happy?

If you read the article .... go on .... it is about something called Lockbox.

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So, if you tick the "yup I am happy to be spied upon" box, you get spied on?


Paul Herber Silver badge

I've been using lockbox ...

I've been using lockbox for about 10 years already ...


Mozilla warns more Firefox website breakage to come because devs just aren't checking for SameSite snafus

Paul Herber Silver badge

Why the problem?

On website for domain xyz.com only cookies relating to xyz.com should be accessible. Nothing else.

Any code within that page that accesses some other domain e.g. facexyz.com can only access cookies for facexyz.com for that instance, and cookies for xyz.com are not accessible. Simples. One cookie at a time.

And it's off! NASA launches nuke-powered, laser-shooting, tank Perseverance to Mars to search for signs of life

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can't get my head around ..

That mass going from 0 to supersonic in just over 30 seconds! Awesome.

'I think the police are here...' Feds reveal Skype, text chats of Canadian trio charged with $8m crypto-coin fraud

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They can't just mention "a sleepy town in Surrey" without telling us which one! So many sleepy towns, so little time.

Anyway, to quote AbFab "Lacroix, darling, Lacroix!"

It must have been love, but it's over now: Rockset tries to break up storage and compute, meet transactional, data-warehouse systems in middle

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Rockset? Does that name have the Dr Feelgood factor?

The world's nonsense keeping you awake in middle of the night? Good news. Go outside and see this two-tail comet

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: "For the UK, the comet is circumpolar"

Just not the lager. Please, not the lager!

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: re: relatively quiet

" a nice change of pace"

So, how is the cricket going?

Shopped recently in a small online store? Check this list to see if it was one of 570 websites infected with card-skimming Magecart

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: I won't shop at a small site

But is that really the body shop's website or a version with, say, one or more of the 'o' characters replaced with a non-standard look-alike? bоdyshоp.com for example.

Microsoft takes tweaking tongs to Windows 10's Start Menu once again

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Re: My supermarket has not changed it's aisles for at least 5 years

That's going a bit overboard!

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Clearly I've missed something but

If the M27 is very busy try Lymington -> Yarmouth, drive to Cowes, over the floating bridge to East Cowes, drive to Fishbourne, ferry to Portsmouth. Shop, Return.

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Clearly I've missed something but

Change for the sake of it.

Fasten your seat belts: Brave Reg hack spends a week eating airline food grounded by coronavirus crash

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such a horrible word.

I can just imagine Alan Partridge looking forward to a nice evening out enjoying a beverage at the bar of local civic centre. Euck!

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Re: Australia's most-polluted waterway: Alexandra Canal

Two pints of beverage and a packet of comestibles, please.

Belief in 5G conspiracy theories goes hand-in-hand with small explosions of rage, paranoia and violence, researchers claim

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Re: We have our own US-based All-American 5G Conspiracy Theory!

I hang my head in shame!

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: We have our own US-based All-American 5G Conspiracy Theory!

resistance is futile? Blimey, the Vogons are involved too! Ah, Bill Gates and Hillary Clinton are both Vogons, that explains everything about Microsoft and Bill Clinton! Sorted.



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