Posts by x 7

Post-pub schnellnosh neckfiller: Currywurst

" only acceptable form of consumable onion is picked"

I presume you mean pickled......

" in God's country you can get Irn Bru flavoured sausages"

strange, I never thought of IrnBru as having a market in Yorkshire. I'd have expected Tizer to be the big seller

"very long lime "

Citrus flavoured sausage? Sounds "interesting"......

? You can go to any chipshop in the UK and buy sausage curry & chips, with no risk of burning the house down....

Job alert: Is this the toughest sysadmin role on Earth? And are you badass enough to do it?

Re: Wot No Huskies?

17) If a Husky give you a lovebite you know its for real

Re: Wot No Huskies?

" Still fondly remembered by the older hands."

1) Huskies don't get jealous

2) Huskies don't gossip

3) Huskies don't worry about size

4) Huskies are easy to satisfy

5) Huskies are cheap to take out - a can of of dog food and they're yours for the night

6) After you've worn out one Husky theres another seven left

7) Huskies don't ask daft questions like "do you love me"

8) Huskies won't steal your beer

9) If a Husky says "no" you know she means it

10) You can't get a Husky pregnant

11) You don't have to bribe a Husky

12) Huskies don't worry about how much you earn

13) Huskies let you have friends

14) Huskies won't complain about you drinking

15) Huskies won't complain about your driving

16) Huskies keep you warm in bed. They don't have cold feet

"There was a fear that those pesky Canines could affect the native flora and fauna"

strange......dogs don't like eating penguins(too many feathers, too greasy and fishy) and theres little chance of a Husky catching a whale. Theres no flowering plants - just a few lichens and they're unlikely to be much affected.

must be another reason.....perhaps they really are worried about aliens?

Re: Doesn't seem to be that bad

"She even noted that during the Antarctic summer you can even sleep outside in a tent, which she was actually encouraged to do."

probably the only way to have a sex life there if you're noisy

or if you snore....

what? no need for dog handling skills?

How long does it take an NHS doctor to turn on a computer?

How long does it take for a GP to turn on a PC?

Most don't - the reception staff do it first thing in the morning because they take so long to boot into Window

Re: Get this all the time with new Dell AOI

"It's annoying when you make a call out after asking them repeatedly if they have turned the machine on then get there to find it's not turned on so turn it on and just leave."

In that statement you've just failed the first test of being a techie.

You never NEVER ever simply tell customers to "turn it on". You always describe the button and location to them, and ask them to tell you what it looks like and what markings are on it, THEN you tell them to press it. You can never assume that what the customer assumes is the power button, actually is.

You're annoyed? Think what frustration the customer feels when the help desk is manifestly incapable of providing help

"The coffee maker is designed to be operated by those who are too thick to boil a kettle...."

FIFY

Re: won't provide credentials for contract engineers to log into systems

"Hmm. Where patient data security is an issue I wouldn't expect otherwise, particularly as the word "contract" has been used.

Valid comments, but all involved were approved by the authorities involved, had full CRB checks, and the support desk had been ordered to help - but they still refused. (Besides which you don't know the company we represented - something I can't tell you, but a "significant" player in NHS support) Jobsworths

Back to the original story.........

I spend a lot of my time doing support at GP surgeries. Support for most of the Devon ones is run by a decent bunch of guys, but there are a small number or surgeries on a local South Devon Hospital COIN network and the support team there are the most protectionist bunch of jobsworth prats that you can imagine.

They won't provide credentials for contract engineers to log into systems, won't provide realistic instruction to end users, and insist on site visits for the slightest simplest problem so that "they" can be in charge. In essence, as a "help desk" they fail to meet the name. It wouldn't surprise me if this story originates from that team - in which case I'd take it with a pinch of salt as its more than likely the supposed instructions were crap

Navy engineer gets 11 years for attempted espionage

Re: I don't know what Egypt would do with the plans anyway...

"But a Type 45 destroyer is an incredibly powerful vessel!"

until its sunk - it has no effective defences against ballistic missiles, or against a "swarm" attack of cheap drones which would rapidly deplete its limited supply of boxed missiles. When that happens then game over for the T45 and any carrier its escorting.

"What's Guantanamo got to do with it? This is a US citizen they have bang to rights. There's no need for "special rendition" or any other type of cloak'n'dagger stuff here."

Nothing to do with special rendition or cloak'n'dagger

He spied for a foreign nation - potentially for a terrorist organisation within that nation. The yanks don't have to send him to trial - they can simply treat him as an enemy combatant, put him in a cell and leave him to rot

whats the betting he never comes to trial, and instead vanishes into the system at Guantanamo?

Re: I don't know what Egypt would do with the plans anyway...

"Because of this, they are usually surrounded by entire fleets of destroyers, cruisers, submarines, and other miscellaneous craft bristling with defense and offensive weapons. "

Unless its a British carrier, which will have to make do with a solitary Type 45 destroyer. If you're lucky.

Apple quietly swaps out MacBook Retina displays to fix skin-peeling stains

i dunno if that photo is representative, but that machine definitely looks the victim of some kind of substance abuse - an acid attack, or more likely a washdown with bleach or caustic soda

Self-driving vehicles might be autonomous but insurance pay-outs probably won't be

autonomous cars won't be safe for routine use until they can negotiate Wrynose and Hardknott passes at night in mid winter in a snowstorm.

and thats on top of the need to be safe on "normal" roads like city centres and motorways.

I'd love to see Google send their vehicles over the Lakeland passes - they'd be foxed by the first hairpins and single-track passing spaces, not to mention the 40% inclines. And as for the suicidal Herdwick sheep.....

so what happens to the car if the software hangs? or crashes......

does a software crash result in a real crash? if the software has a hissy fit at 90mph on a motorway does the car stop dead in the road? if so, anyone inside could become also dead very quickly

Steve Ballmer praises Twitter job cuts after buying 4% stake in ailing micro-blab site

Re: Twenty comments in and nobody has said:

"tweet, twet, tweet,tweet...........................................................tweet, twet, tweet,tweet"

More intelligent than Balmer's usual missives

Ballmer's "tweet" proves that he still has not yet learnt the basics of the English language.

Microsoft offers to PAY YOU to trade in your old computer for a Windows 10 device

Re: MS are idiots

@ Grumpenkraut

you said " Let me just say that I suffer from "shitty BIOS" right now: power up sometimes works, but mostly only starts the fans. I have to power down and up again to get the fucker booting. Power-off works mostly, when not, I have to cut mains. "

You've got a f'cked motherboard. Some or all of the capacitors are u/s and aren't generating enough voltage to start the machine

Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

Re: Some names to snort over...

What? No Seymour Butts?

"Did they have an older sister?"

Happily no, no weeds around

A friend of my sister named her twins William and Benjamin

Seems OK until you shorten the names

Re: Mini Cooper - er NOT

Of course its Paris

thats the only place other than Turin where you'd get a Mini with those oversized bolt on bumpers

In Italy some of the Innocenti Coopers had the "wrong" radiator grille like the one in the photo, but thats not an Innocenti Cooper. Looking at the 1970's style "Mini" badge on that grille I'd gamble on it being a Belgian Seneffe built one? Thoughts anyone?

Re: What about

Austin Healey once stated on the TV that if he'd had a sister his father intended to name her "Jensen"

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Itty-bitty pyttipanna

"cheaper to run down morrisons"

1) Morrisons tend not to be open at pub chucking out time

2) ever heard of the drink driving laws?

Re: Bah!

"should measure the ingredients in "handfuls"."

Except for beans, which are measured in "fartfuls"

Re: Fat lot you know about culinary superpowers

"only the late great Escoffier "

I always thought an escoffier was someone who ate too much.......fat lardy Billy Bunter types

French for scoffing a lot

"Salmonella Surprise" ?

an Edwina Curry?

Re: The girl in the photo looks like

" at my age, any female under 40 is looks young "

You old perve

US Navy grabs old-fashioned sextants amid hacker attack fears

Re: Near the coast

"pull into shore and just ask a native where the f@ck you are."

People like William Dampier tried that but.....

1) the shore was too rocky to land

2) the natives ran away

3) the locals didn't speak English. Or French. Or Dutch...or Spanish or......

Pretty amazing he managed to circumnavigate three times (100 years before Cook) but then he was an expert navigator and cartographer so had real skills to fall back on

Re: Back to Basics

"Dutch rutter"

Is that an Amsterdam working girl? Is that the origin of the word "sextant"?

The fact is you can't rely on modern electronic navigation aids.....

A story told to me by a former captain on Jimmy Sherwood's UK Seacat fleet.......apparently if you went over 20 knots the radar suddenly halved the reported distance of reflected objects. Obviously a programming glitch, but one that couldn't be resolved (or at least not during his career on the catamarans). My understanding is that the problem is still there now.

What other software glitches are there out there, maybe unrecognised?

UK drivers left idling as Tesla rolls out Autopilot in US

Don't forget - Roads in the USA go in straight lines. Roads in the UK are bendy,,,,,,except for the few the Romans built for us

WIPO punts Cambridge University over attempt to grab Cambridge.com

Re: Land grabbing by Cambridge University

"A College or University is NOT a commercial entity."

British ones are....very much so

Laser razor binned from Kickstarter resurfaces on Indiegogo

what happened to the Kickstarter money? Was it returned?

Researcher messes up Wi-Fi with an rPi and bargain buy radio stick

Isn't this how Benny Hill jammed the traffic lights and cameras in "The Italian Job"???

Hurrah! Doctor Who brings us a bootstrap paradox treat in Before the Flood

@Wzrd1

"In other words, you've *never* watched Doctor Who."

to the contrary, I can still remember watching the first episode of the Hartnell era

And the story was literally "unfathomable" because theres no way of explaining how a burst dam can create the supposed permanent deep lake the base was in.

If you can't keep up with the flood of thought I suggest you go home and have a long lie down. Maybe re-engage your stream of awareness

Re: Osgood

"The killed Osgood "smelled bad" according to Missy. Thus, posssibly it was Zygon Osgood that got vaporised?"

That theory sounds a bit fishy to me. Could be she was just overly hormonal....

Re: Time 'pardox'

'pardox'

sounds like bath salts for curing indigestion...

Dr Who wrote Beethoven's 5th?

That explains why everyone believes Beethoven was deaf

A thousand mile Atom merci mission: Driving from Monaco to London in an open-topped motor

Re: Thing is...

."it's quite difficult to finder "proper" lubricants in aerosol cans. WD40 on the other hand works as a lubricant and can be sprayed into those hard to reach places."

I keep telling my that to my other half but she still objects to cans of WD40 stored under the bed

Re: Another go?

"touring Ireland by motorcycle."

never done that, but toured it a few times in wet weather on a pushbike.

Not to be repeated again - two weeks in wet weather with soaking shorts on a diet of Guinness and soda bread produced the most gargantuan haemorrhoids imaginable. Couldn't sit on the bike at the end - had to peddle standing up just to avoid the pain. It was so bad I had to endure the ferry back to Liverpool standing as any attempt at sitting risked blood loss.

Never been back - too many memories.........

Re: Not So Clever

Honda C70? "working alternator"??????

My C50 (admittedly very old - original "G" registration so ~ 1967 vintage) had 6V electrics and a dynamo

Miss Brittany dethroned for posting 'nude' Facebook pics

Re: Immature attitude

" Women may enjoy sex, but unlike men, they don't seem to think they 'need' it, "

Who fed you that one?........you're either ugly or mixing with the wrong type of women