Posts by matthewdjb

A thump with the pointy end of a screwdriver will fix this server! What could possibly go wrong?

Re: 2 years with a dry joint, running an engine testbed

On Dune.

Re: 486 DX/50

I had a ZX81 with a 16K rampack. Notoriously unstable.

One day when my mum was hoovering she pulled the power cable of the computer and dragged it to the floor. It landed on the rampack, twisting it.

No more instability problems. It still works now!

Techie installed 'user attitude readjustment tool' after getting hammered in a Police station

For last years Basel English Panto Group production... we had a huge cauldron made of papier maché. It took some maneouvering to get through the door to our rehearsal room - and out again.

After the show run was over, we brought it back to our rehearsal room. We warned the lady carrying it that it was quite hard to get through the door. She looked at the cauldron, looked at the door, rotated the cauldron in at least 3 dimensions (maybe four) and it fitted with ease.

Structural engineer, you see. (And a very senior executive at one of the local engineering businesses).

Re: User attitude readjustment tool

That was is much funnier than the original!

Hacktivists boast: We shut down Iran's gas pumps today

Re: Imagination

Er... Yes?

Re: How stupid are both Hamas & Israeli governments

It doesn't. But it also doesn't make the op less silly.

Re: How stupid are both Hamas & Israeli governments

I don't know how stupid both actors are. But I like the intelligence of The Register readers who've down cutter your silly comment. You either don't understand the danger Iran poses, or your one of those 'peace at any price' silly people, who will be forced to convert or die.

Digital memories are disappearing and not even AI or Google can help

I deleted all my emails older than ten years. I just didn't have the courage to put the cut off at 5 years.

HP printer software turns up uninvited on Windows systems

I found candycrush and a few other games installed in win10 without my knowledge

Tata Consultancy Services ordered to cough up $210M in code theft trial

TCS totally criminal software house

CSC completely criminal software house

Why have just one firewall when you can fire all the walls?

Do you work for the SAPGui team?

Re: "could hear the telescope motors start humming"

Absolutely. The "do it" should only have been Y. Everything else is No.

Euclid space 'scope's first color snaps pull back the curtain on cosmic mysteries

No, just London.

CompSci academic thought tech support was useless – until he needed it

Re: Depends.

Which is why (Northern) Switzerland only speak dialect. No navy.

Hunters International leaks pre-op plastic surgery pics in negotiation no-no

These guys have the moral compass and decency of Hamas.

A cheap Chinese PC with odd components. What could go wrong?

Re: Running Linux Mint

I have friends who have no money, can't upgrade. So install Linux for them. Generally Mint. And they're generally happy.

Excel Hell II: If the sickness can't be fixed, it must be contained

Re: Application abuse

At one large insurer back in the mid-1990s, the marketing folk use Excel for producing their documents. I pointed out to one that Word might be better, but she said - but this is what we all use.

Hacktivist attacks erupt in Middle East following Hamas assault on Israel

Boomer? That the best you can do? Sad.

And Gen X btw.

Not very tasty. Just the reiteration of the same old stale arguments and previously prepared positions.

'Gay furry hackers' brag of second NATO break-in, steal and leak more data

Gay furry hackers? It's that cat over the keyboard again.

Cat accused of wiping US Veteran Affairs server info after jumping on keyboard

Secretly?

I think it's pretty clear.

"BOFH you have the morals a cat"

"Take that back!"

"Ok, you don't have the morals of a cat"

With apologies to the Pratchett estate.

Nuclear-powered datacenters: What could go wrong?

Tried it. Got atomic ache.

IT needs more brains, so why is it being such a zombie about getting them?

Re: Well there's your problem

Oh, you fixed the Air Traffic Control system!

FreeBSD can now boot in 25 milliseconds

Re: Pretty impressive

I first used quicksort in anger in 1990. I learned it during my CS degree in the late 80s. It was already two decades old then.

Professor freezes student grades after ChatGPT claimed AI wrote their papers

Re: Artificial Irony detector required

I did run this paper he wrote

I asked Chatgpt "Please tell me if the following was generated by AI:", followed by the text of this paper https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S016815912030054X where Munn is lead author. The response was:

It is difficult to determine with absolute certainty whether this text was generated by AI or written by a human. However, the technical nature and formatting of the text, as well as the lack of personal opinions or subjective language, suggest that it may have been generated by AI.

Cisco: Don't use 'blind spot' – and do use 'feed two birds with one scone'

Re: Way too complicated

That is an urban myth

Sorry, that should be 'makes a first pass'

So I need to try to suggest sex first?

Why a top US cyber spy urges: Get religious about backups

Re: .. and drop the most unsafe platform on Earth

You mean Mac OS?

Re: The USA, religion, and backups

I must be a bad God fearing Christian. I've had all the jabs and COVID. But then, I'm not American.

The UK's bad encryption law can't withstand global contempt

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Re: If they cared about children...

Conversely the right to choose is the right to choose to have an abortion, because if you choose not to, there is no support from the pro choice movement.

Actually it's all bollocks, because there are a very few on both sides who will offer to support women to keep their child.

But hey, that would go against the rhetoric, wouldn't it?

PC tech turns doctor to diagnose PC's constant crashes as a case of arthritis

Re: More magnetics

Similar happened to me on the Italian motorways. Got the ticket at the toll machine. Drove a few hundred km. Tried to leave the Motorway. (automatic exit machine).. ticket wouldn't read. I had to press the contact button. I don't speak Italian. Somehow I managed to communicate that I'd got onto the motorway at its start, and they remotely set the fee.

I'd stored the ticket next to my mobile phone in the car.

Spotted in the wild: Chimera – a Linux that isn't GNU/Linux

I don't know what any of this means.

When philosophy meets development.

Learn the art of malicious compliance: doing exactly what you were asked, even when it's wrong

Re: Smoking computers

Sloping tops didn't stop us from using them to dry out clothes when we caught in a downpour.

ChatGPT has mastered the confidence trick, and that's a terrible look for AI

Re: I asked it what War and Peace was about.

What is the book "Equal Rites" by Terry Pratchett about?

"Equal Rites is a novel by Terry Pratchett, published in 1987. It is the third book in the Discworld series. The story follows the character Granny Weatherwax, a witch, as she tries to prevent a young girl named Eskarina Smith from becoming the first female wizard in the Discworld. Along the way, Granny must confront the prejudices and superstitions of the wizarding community, who believe that magic is only for men."

Maybe it's only read the early works?

Re: Can it learn from its mistakes?

I asked it. It said no. But it could be lying...

Re: I asked it what War and Peace was about.

I asked: Who was Sir Terry Pratchett?

Answer:

"Sir Terry Pratchett was a British author, best known for his Discworld series of fantasy novels. He was born in 1948 and began writing at a young age. He published his first novel, The Carpet People, in 1971, and his first Discworld novel, The Color of Magic, in 1983.

"Over the course of his career, Pratchett wrote more than 70 books, many of which were part of the Discworld series. He was known for his humorous and satirical writing style, and his books often explored themes of social and political satire, as well as science fiction and fantasy."

So clearly it "knows" something.

I then asked: What is War and Peace about?

"War and Peace is a novel by Russian author Leo Tolstoy, first published in 1869. The novel is considered one of the greatest works of world literature, and it is renowned for its epic scope, detailed depiction of Russian society in the early 19th century, and its exploration of the psychological and emotional lives of its characters.

War and Peace is set against the backdrop of the Napoleonic Wars, and it follows the lives of several aristocratic families in Russia as they navigate the social, political, and personal challenges of the time. The novel explores themes such as the nature of war, the impact of historical events on individuals and society, and the search for meaning and purpose in life.

At its core, War and Peace is a story about the human experience and the ways in which people are affected by the events and circumstances of their time. It is a powerful and thought-provoking exploration of the complexities of the human condition."

How odd

I asked:

How is Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem linked to Turing Machines

The answer was:

Gödel's incompleteness theorem and Turing machines are both connected to the concept of the limitations of formal systems and computing. Gödel's incompleteness theorem is a mathematical result that showed that any formal system used for mathematics (such as a programming language) must be incomplete. This means that there are certain statements that cannot be proven or disproven within the system.

The Turing machine, on the other hand, is a theoretical computing model proposed by mathematician Alan Turing. It is a universal computing device, capable of simulating any other computing device. However, the Turing machine is also subject to the limitations of Gödel's theorem, meaning that there are certain tasks or problems that it cannot solve.

The link between Gödel's incompleteness theorem and Turing machines comes from the fact that both are concerned with the limitations of what can be achieved with computing. Gödel's theorem shows that there are certain problems that cannot be solved by a computer, even in principle, while the Turing machine is a theoretical model of a computing device that is designed to be able to perform any computation that could be done by a real-world computer.

Together, Gödel's incompleteness theorem and the Turing machine provide a theoretical framework for understanding the limitations of computing and the inherent limitations of formal systems.

Man wins court case against employer that fired him for not liking boozy, forced 'fun' culture

Re: "Fun & pro, that's our motto!"

In my case years ago it was the manager who insisted on driving home. Nowadays, I'd either take his keys, or call the police.

Umbrella company Parasol Group confirms cyber attack as 'root cause' of prolonged network outage

Brookson, SJD, Nixon Williams confirm hacking.

140,000-plus drivers sent $60m in compensation checks after Amazon 'stole their tips'

easyJet b do something similar. They waived flight change admin fees, due to Covid, but the new flight will be charged considerably more than if you purchased it directly. They simply add the admin fee they would have charged to the price of the first flight.

I changed two flights to two new ones. At the same time I bought two additional identical flights. The first leg of the changed flights was over £130 more expensive than the additional. easyJet of course deny any wrong doing saying they don't have a published price.

Judging by the way your face lit up, my inbox just got more attractive

Yeah. We know. Dabbs mentioned it in the article.

Sir Clive Sinclair: Personal computing pioneer missed out on being Britain's Steve Jobs

ZX80 for me. Learned to program in it. Then a ZX81, and learned Z80.. still programming (but getting paid for it) 40 years later.

You want us to make a change? We can do it, but it'll cost you...

Re: Screw-up?

I'll check.

Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?

Re: Anyone

Calipers? I just 'ad an 'ammer. To flatten them 0s into 1s.

Another UK government limb that can't get IR35 right: Court service pays taxman £12.5m

They should appeal. All the way to the supreme court!

Hey, AI software developers, you are taking Unicode into account, right ... right?

People have been using such tricks to try to bypass moderation on the forum I moderate for years.

Automatic temporary ban. To start with.

The trouble with trying it on the Times automotive automoderation (for example) is that some begger is going to report it to the humans.

Ch-ch-ch-Chia! HDD sales soar to record levels as latest crypto craze sweeps Europe

Re: Chia

Oh the ironing of commenting about the waste of social media

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

The clued up didn't get bookshelves. Simply bookshelf wallpaper.

Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast

Re: abbreviated, with substitutes

One other word. Andouillette. Piggy goodness in a tube. Offaly good