Posts by Mr Dogshit

HMRC tool for measuring IR35 status is so great, employers are ditching it in their droves

Re: Parasol have gone bang after being hacked

Tell me more

Not looking forward to a greyscale 2022? Then look back to the past in 64 colours

Newspapers?

Get you, Grandad!

Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes found guilty of fraud: Blood-testing machines were vapourware after all

Still, not a bad looker, eh?

Zuck didn't invent the metaverse, but he's started a fight to control it

Obligatory Commitstrip

https://www.commitstrip.com/en/2019/08/30/the-future-of-video-conferencing/?

What a Mesh: Microsoft puts Office in the Loop, adds mixed reality tech to Teams

Can't wait.

Schools email marketing company told us to go away when we told them of exposed database creds, say infoseccers

Schools Marketing

Two words which should never follow each other in that order.

Hellfire and damnation: Two French monks charged over 5G mast arson attack

It's almost as if

these monks believe in unproven fairy stories.

So I’ve scripted a life-saving routine. Pah. What really matters is the icon I give it

Zut alors!

You can 'go your own way' over GDPR, says UK's new Information Commissioner

Your 568ml glass, you mean.

Wipro wins $44.5m deal for data centres and managed services at UK's National Grid

Re: Whoopee !

Surely not? You DO surprise me.

McDonald's email blunder broadcasts database creds to comedy competition winners

I’m lovin’ it™

Microsoft previews free Visual Studio Code for the Web

Why?

What's the point?

Brit says sorry after waving around nonce patent and leaning on sites to cough up

Samsung: We will remotely brick smart TVs looted from our warehouse

Re: Let's include DENON

Yeah yeah. When you bought that device, ten bucks went to vTuner. That business model no longer works, resulting in what you're seeing.

Solution is to use ycast, see

https://www.avforums.com/threads/vtuner-internet-radio-stop-working-marantz-denon-3-case.2269858/

US govt scores a point against Assange in run-up to extradition appeal showdown

Facebook gardening group triumphs over slapdash Zuck censorbots

Ho ho ho!

Former ad exec sticks Steve Jobs' 1973 job application in a scanner for physical-versus-digital NFT auction

"to pen" is not a verb.

I no longer have a burning hatred for Jewish people, says Googler now suddenly no longer at Google

Re: When I was ten...

You are literally Hitler.

Google fined €500m for not paying French publishers after using their words on web

Re: Thick skin

There is no such thing as "fair use". Even the US reluctantly signed up to the Berne Convention

eventually in 1988.

You cannot rip off other peoples' work, it's as simple as that.

Lenovo says it’s crammed a workstation into a litre of space – less than three cans of beer

Fugly

Looks like it was designed by Škoda circa 1986. And I want AMD, not Intel.

Richard Branson uses two planes to make 170km round trip

Space Cadets

Yawn... man takes a short trip in an aircraft that goes slightly higher than most. Hardly Star Trek is it?

The PrintNightmare continues: Microsoft confirms presence of vulnerable code in all versions of Windows

Re: The final death knell of kernel-mode printing

Hang on...

Are you saying device drivers need not run in kernel mode?

How much would you pay me to develop a COVID tracking app that actually works? Ah, thought so: nothing

Zut alors

I wish I had pangolins in my garden

The future is now, old man: Let the young guns show how to properly cock things up

One of the switchboard operators where I used to work would take a backup every afternoon, and take that floppy home in her handbag. Off site backup!

She thought she was backing up the directory of 2500 users, but in fact it was just the preferences for her console.

In China, the Smart TV watches you, shares IP address, Wi-Fi SSIDs, viewing habits, and more

Suppose they don't make a profit on selling the actual telly any more, and the data slurping is what generates income.

Microsoft demotes Calibri from default typeface gig, starts fling with five other fonts

Re: Microsoft’s new default font options, rated

Well DUH

33 'unsustainably loss-making' Dixons Travel outlets set to be shuttered affecting 400 staff

Oh dear

How sad. Never mind.

Spy agency GCHQ told me Gmail's more secure than Microsoft 365, insists British MP as facepalming security bods tell him to zip it

An AOL account?

Can't be that difficult to trace then.

Bless you: Yep, it's IBM's new name for tech services spinoff and totally not a hayfever medicine

About as dumb as DERA becoming QinetiQ and Royal Mail calling themselves Consignia.

Oh boy

Sounds like a Scandinavian gnome.

Quality control, Soviet style: Here's another fine message you've gotten me into

Not a translator

An interpreter. Completely different job.

If you can't log into Azure, Teams or Xbox Live right now: Microsoft cloud services in worldwide outage

Don't use DNS

Just use a hosts file instead.

Intel accused of wiretapping because it uses analytics to track keystrokes, mouse movements on its website

Re: How many times?

I would gladly use a greenscreen TTY terminal to buy stuff from Amazon. I don't give a crap about the stuff they shove in my face - pictures of Jeremy Clarkson I find particularly offensive.

UK prime minister Boris Johnson reluctant to reveal his involvement in the OneWeb deal

Mr Speaker, this is undoubtably a great deal for Britain. It ah ah will prove to be the jewel in the crown, or testes canis as the Romans might put it. We shall ah ah strain every sinew in order to ah ah reach the sunlight uplands hereto denied to us by the ah ah dastardly EU.

We can now smell the olfactory stimuli that ah ah certainly herald the imminent arrival of fresh blossoms. Was it not Lucian of Samosata who said per certamen ad infernum ? And how very true that is, how very true indeed.

Re: When is he going to build a bridge

Why would anyone want to go to Northern Ireland?

Following Supreme Court ruling, Uber UK recognizes drivers as workers, offers min wage, holiday pay, pension

They've lost their USP

Uber can't obtain cars cheaper than anyone else, or fuel cheaper than anyone else, the only differentiator is that they pay their drivers a pittance. Now they can no longer do that. And they've never made a profit, so file this under Ponzi scheme.

UK.gov about to release £500m funding for Shared Rural Network targeting countryside 4G notspots

Re: I have to hang over the bathroom sink

It's not a sink, it's a basin.

Facebook’s new world domination ploy is a two-megabyte Instagram app tested in India and Brazil

Keep on delivering joy, Zuckerborg.

Microsoft previews Windows Server 2022: Someone took a spanner to core plumbing features

New Windows Server - but the company would rather talk about Azure

I signed up for Ignite this morning, and was prompted to indicate my interests. Windows Server wasn't even listed as an option.

Oh, and hands up everyone who's seen server core in production use... Yeah, me neither.

Seagate UK customer stung by VAT on replacement drive shipped via the Netherlands

Re: It's a UPS issue

Great! I'm sure we'll "prosper mightily" in the "sunlit uplands" now we've overthrown the shackles of Brussels bureaucracy.

But, but

Look at all this lovely sovereignty we've got!

Microsoft announces a new Office for offline fans, slashes support, hikes the price

Yay

Gotta love opening spreadsheets in a browser.

Ex-American football player attempts to breathe life into failed lawsuit claiming Gears of War used his likeness

To be honest

They all look the same to me.

Fancy a £130k director of technology role with the UK's Ministry of Justice? All you need to do is 'fix the basics'

I might apply for this.

After all, I have the necessary hashtags.

Fujitsu scrapping fuel card benefit to cut costs, threatens dissenters with fire and rehire

Mr. T says

I pity the fuel

Groupware is not dead! HCL drops second beta of Notes/Domino version 12 and goes all low-code and cloudy

God

I feel ill just thinking about it.

Supermicro spy chips, the sequel: It really, really happened, and with bad BIOS and more, insists Bloomberg

Why Supermicrobe?

Surely most people buy Dell or HPE?

This scumbag stole and traded victims' nude pics and vids after guessing their passwords, security answers

If you don't want people to see you in your birthday suit

don't make pictures or videos of yourself in your birthday suit.

No joy for Julian Assange as Uncle Sam confirms it will keep pushing for WikiLeaker's extradition to America

Oh dear, how sad, never mind.