Posts by Mr Dogshit

Decades-old UK government papers show that they tried to roll out a 'Cab-E-Net' system in the '90s. It was crap

Locust Notes

Two wrongs don't make a right: They make a successful project sign-off

Re: "circus act"

No, it's Polish, and the expression is "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

the MCAS on a Boeing 737 Max

I read that as "the MCSA on a Boeing 737 Max"

What can the 1944 OSS manual teach us before we all return to sabotage the office?

passengers?

No such thing, they're called "customers" now.

My website has raised its anchor and set sail into the internet oceans without me

It was "Mary Celeste" you dodo

And what's a nob? Is it like a knob?

'Best tech employer of the year' threatened trainee with £15k penalty fee for quitting to look after his sick mum

Re: As a woman in tech myself...

Braford? I like to keep abreast of these things.

Dell Wyse Thin Client scores two perfect 10 security flaws

LOL

Wyse guys

Just let this sink in: Capita wins 12-year £1bn contract to provide training services to the Royal Navy and Marines

Re: Thats that f88ked then

Not sure the RN use many hand grenades, but ho hum.

Apple appears to be charging Brits £309 to replace AirPods Max batteries, while Americans need only stump up $79

A fool and his money

etc

Judge strikes down another attempt by President Trump to force a TikTok US sale

Trump behaving in a "capricious manner"? Surely not.

Pure frustration: What happens when someone uses your email address to sign up for PayPal, car hire, doctors, security systems and more

Never happened to me

But I don't use gmail.

Amazon’s cloudy Macs cost $25.99 a day. 77 days of usage would buy you your own Mac

The only Mac worth buying

is a big Mac

Scotch eggs ascend to the 'substantial meal' pantheon as means to pop to pub for a pint during pernicious pandemic

World-beating!

Are these substantial meals oven ready?

Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image'

Get bent

Crooks social-engineer GoDaddy staff into handing over control of crypto-biz domain names

It's always DNS

Windows 10 installation shows shopping centre its sad face – the natural response to finding out you're in Peterborough

I really don't understand why this is so amusing.

Ex-missile systems worker jailed for breaching Official Secrets Act after last-second guilty plea

Fuckwit

If you can't keep a secret, perhaps a career in defence isn't for you.

Biden projected to be the next US President, Microsoft joins rest of world in telling Trump: It looks like... you're fired

Re: Yay! Party time!

Surely you can't pardon someone unless they've been convicted?

The car you buy in 2025 will include a terabyte of storage. Robo-taxis might need 11TB

2025?

I hadn't really planned on living that long.

I'll give you my passwords if you investigate police corruption, accused missile systems leaker told cops

" involved signing the Official Secrets Act"

No one has to sign the Official Secrets Act. It applies to everyone, whether you like it or not. That's the point.

P.S. The bloke's a twerp

Windows Server robocopy to gain auto-compression ahead of big file moves

a low-key online “Windows Server Summit”

So low-key, I didn't know about it.

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

Re: Poor On-Call this week

Not Country Durham - the article said "janitors", so that must be Scotland. They're called caretakers in England.

Software engineer leaked UK missile system secrets and refused to hand cops his passwords, Old Bailey told

Fool

"The police were nasty to me, so I gave away military secrets to the UK's enemies"

Like saying "Tesco pissed me off, so I disclosed Initech's trade secrets to XYZ Corporation".

I hope they through the book at him.

Congrats, Meg Whitman, another multi-billion-dollar write-off for the CV: Her web vid upstart Quibi implodes

Don't forget the time that silly mare bought Skype for no reason when she was in charge of eBay.

UK govt advert encouraging re-skilling for cyber jobs implodes spectacularly

Yeah

What we need in IT is more ballerinas.

Dying software forces changes to VMware’s vSphere Clients

Just give us a proper client like the good old days, rather than this stupid browser crap that barely works, you dodos.

China, Russia and Iran all attacking US elections and using some nasty new tactics, says Microsoft

Re: Oxymoron

You're the moron.

I can 'proceed without you', judge tells Julian Assange after courtroom outburst

former US Army intelligence analyst Bradley Manning actually

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

Westminster are behind this!

MI6 did it ! They're trying to discredit Alec Salmon! etc etc

So... just 'Good' then? KFC pulls Finger Lickin' slogan while pandemic rumbles on

"It's less chavvy than McDonald's"

Police face-recog tech use in Welsh capital of Cardiff was unlawful – Court of Appeal

Re: Hold on

Your assertion that someone at the rank of constable is somehow an inexperienced noob is entirely misguided.

A police officer may spend their entire career at the rank of constable - it doesn't mean they're thick or unambitious. There is a very wide range of roles available at that rank. Perhaps an individual doesn't want to become sergeant. Perhaps they’re happy doing what they’re doing or don’t want the additional responsibility. Ranks in the UK police cannot be compared to the British Army. PC is not equivalent to Lance Corporal.

AMD helps Dell, HPE, Lenovo to cut Windows Server 2019 licence costs – if you buy tin packing Epyc Rome CPUs

ProLiant and AMD

My first choice every time.

NSA warns that mobile device location services constantly compromise snoops and soldiers

Well DUH

Who was behind that stunning Twitter hack? State spies? Probably this Florida kid, say US prosecutors

"A recent Twitter hack probably didn’t scare you. Here’s why it should."

I thought this was a good read:

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/07/twitter-hack-decentralized-internet/614593/

Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory

"This coming from a nob end who can't even get the software he bought to work properly..."

What does that even mean?

VMware to stop describing hardware as ‘male’ and ‘female’ in new terminology guide

Re: This PC subversion only idiotically makes things harder and more confusing for competent people

Are you suggesting that two male connectors (or indeed two female connectors) should not be allowed to mate? Despicable.

Brit retailer John Lewis to catapult 111 tech bods over to Capgemini weeks after dumping 244 on Wipro

Weird place

Their tills were running on token ring as late as 2003.

Keep it Together, Microsoft: New mode for vid-chat app Teams reminds everyone why Zoom rules the roost

Re: Really?

Like this?

https://www.commitstrip.com/en/2019/08/30/the-future-of-video-conferencing/?

High-flying Microsoft exec jumps to Magic Leap as CEO. No, we haven't got that the wrong way round

Rat joins sinking ship!

After 84 years, Japan's Olympus shutters its camera biz, flogs it to private equity – smartphones are just too good

"shutters"

I see what you did there

Ex-director cops community service after 5,000-file deletion spree on company Dropbox

Crikey!

An "internet address". Sounds terribly technical.

Hayfever in Haymarket, or has Windows sneezed out a BSOD?

I just don't understand why this is supposed to be hilarious

"Operating system behaves as per design". Not funny, is it?

When a crash occurs in Kernel Mode, the operating system's task is to preserve your data. Unlike a crash in Application Mode, it can't recover and continue.

Therefore, it dumps memory to disk using a cut-down device driver and displays a message. What do you expect?

And since writing device drivers is very difficult, yes, they sometimes crash. And often these are drivers not written by Microsoft.

Linux and VMware aren't immune to Kernel Mode crashes, and neither was the Amiga. So where's the joke? I don't get it.

'One rule for me, another for them' is all well and good until it sinks the entire company's ability to receive emails

Apps?

They were called "applications" in them days. Or "programs".

Yeah, great start after sacking human hacks: Microsoft's AI-powered news portal mixes up photos of women-of-color in article about racism

Who the hell reads MSN anyway?

Smart fridges are cool, but after a few short years you could be stuck with a big frosty brick in the kitchen

Fridges are cool!

Ha! I see what you did there!

Amazon declined to sell a book so Elon Musk called for it to be broken up

Oh boy oh boy

And people buy cars from this nutjob

Choose your own adventure: HP's new Omen 15 gaming laptop offers choice between AMD and Intel processors

Replaceable RAM and storage! Whatever will they think of next?

Not the Wright stuff: Bitcoin 'inventor' loses bid to sue YouTuber who called him a liar

Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Re: SERCO?

Yep. Could have used local government employees or the military, but better just to spunk a load of money on .gov's favourite outsourcer instead.

To test its security mid-pandemic, GitLab tried phishing its own work-from-home staff. 1 in 5 fell for it

Yep. Got one from my local council. It invited me not to go to https://localcouncil.gov.uk/counciltax but https://paymycounciltax.net or something stupid. Probably was legit, but I ain't clicking on it.