Posts by Mr Dogshit

Smart ovens do really dumb stuff to check for Wi-Fi

• AEG hasn’t existed for years

• Microsoft has a specific domain for testing for Internet connectivity: www.msftncsi.com/ncsi.txt

Virgin Orbit doesn't

Re: "crashing down on the Canaries."

Leave Norwich City out of this

Here we go, Gromit!

You couldn't get more British than this. Like the Beagle 2 failure, Branson can't get it up.

Elon Musk to step down as Twitter CEO: Help us pick his replacement

Re: How could you

Liz Truss killed the queen.

That. is. a. disgrace.

Re: I nominate ...

You mean "TV's Matt Hancock"

Killing trees with lasers isn’t cool, says Epson. So why are inkjets any better?

PC LOAD LETTER

Rackspace customers rage as email outage continues and migrations create migraines

On-prem seems a better choice now, no?

Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday

"an on-prem email server"

Or "email server" as we used to call them.

Twitter begs some staff to come back, says they were laid off accidentally

The oozlum bird

Twitter is the oozlum bird. Let's hope so, anyway.

Microsoft's Chinese website reveals free PC Manager utility

They've invented CCleaner!

WordPress-powered sites backdoored after FishPig suffers supply chain attack

Wordpress

Just say no.

Atos investor says turnaround plan 'too ambitious and complicated'

It seems their strategy of continuously snaffling up other companies and guaranteeing annual pay rises for the senior management and guaranteeing dividends to shareholders whilst screwing their employees and customers isn't working then.

Goodbye, humans: Call centers 'could save $80b' switching to AI

This shit has never worked and never will.

Gartner and their Magic Quadrant can fuck right off.

Lenovo launches face-mounted monitor

April fool!

Meta offers $37.5m to settle location tracking lawsuit

Plaintiffs were shocked

Shocked, I tell you!

We were promised integrated packages. Instead we got disintegrated apps

I'm so glad I don't participate in this shitfest.

Bloke robbed of $800,000 in cryptocurrency by fake wallet app wants payback from Google

Oh dear

How sad. Never mind.

The many derivatives of the CP/M operating system

Apps? Apps?

We called them applications back then.

Infosec not your job but your responsibility? How to be smarter than the average bear

Re: Smarter than the average bear

I'm just here for the pickernick baskets

Rejoice! System Administrator Appreciation Day (SAAD) is nigh

That web site is "Proudly powered by WordPress"

Are we sure these are sysadmins?

My Big Coin founder is – you guessed it – a $6m crypto-fraudster

Oh dear, how sad, never mind

Microsoft intros clothing line that is absolutely not leftover conference swag

Just in time for SysAdmin Day

Florida man accused of selling fake, broken Cisco devices from China to hospitals, schools, military

"could have died"

Well did they, or didn't they? Evidently not.

P.S. If it's worthwhile counterfeiting Cisco kit, then Cisco kit is overpriced.

British Army Twitter and YouTube feeds hijacked by crypto-promos

Let's face it

Both these things are likely to have been outsourced to Capita

Record players make comeback with Ikea, others pitching tricked-out turntables

Re: Looking forward to the Techmoan review

Okay, let's cut to the chase. Pictures of it don't show a lid and show the RCA sockets on the right hand side, not hidden round the back. That's two epic fails for me already.

Makers of ad blockers and browser privacy extensions fear the end is near

Extension Rebellion

Microsoft delays next Exchange Server release to 2025

There's always Domino

IBM's self-sailing Mayflower suffers another fault in Atlantic crossing bid

Mary Celeste.

UK opens up 'high-potential individual route' for tech worker immigration

"London was the tech capital of Europe"

Really?

UK government seeks views on cloud, datacenter security

But do you have the necessary hashtags?

Ad-tech firms grab email addresses from forms before they're even submitted

Facebook involved

NO! Surely not?

Microsoft adds unscheduled breaks to most certification exams

Cool

Or it would be, if Microsoft offered certification in something which interests me. But they don't.

If you've got Intel inside, you probably need to get these security patches inside, too

Re: Let me guess....

The smart people have always bought AMD.

Jeffrey Snover claims Microsoft demoted him for inventing PowerShell

Re: I would get it fired for inventing Powershell

Ugly syntax for sure.

You'd think equals would be =

Nope. It's -eq

Greater than >

No. -gt

Samsung unveils hardened SD card that can last 16 years if you treat it right

16 years?

I hadn't planned on living that long.

Robots are creepy. Why trust AIs that are even creepier?

Now steady on

You can't call a Travelodge a hotel. That's like calling McDonald's a restaurant.

Europe twists YouTube's arm to get better cookie consent popups

Google has a product manager for privacy, safety, and security

And FIFA has an ethics committee.

Dell trials 4-day workweek, massive UK pilot of shortened week begins

There is no such verb as "to trial"

Something is either "on trial" or it is "being tried"

Meta sued for 'aiding and abetting' crypto scammers

"Those unlucky enough to fall for the fake ads"

"Those stupid enough to fall for the fake ads"

The right to repairable broadband befits a supposedly critical utility

Meanwhile, people in Ukraine are eating snow.

Ford to sell unfinished Explorers as chip shortage bites

No rear seat HVAC controls

#firstworldproblems

Dell opts out of Microsoft's Pluton security for Windows

HP declined to answer questions on its stand on Pluton,

because they don't design anything any more, and just flog rebranded Foxconn and Wistron kit.

Reg reader rages over Virgin Media's email password policy

This is Virgin on the ridiculous

Microsoft Teams unable to send and receive calls for some after update

"Something went wrong"

Lovely error message, "Something went wrong".

Microsoft wrote the application, Microsoft wrote the damn operating system, and the best error message Microsoft could come up with is "Something went wrong".

Vice Society said to be behind digital break-in at UK umbrella and accounting group

Re: Hole in the ground

And what's that gonna achieve?

More to the point, why can't "Vice Society" be rounded up, put in a cage, and shot through the head?

UK.gov threatens to make adults give credit card details for access to Facebook or TikTok

Oh well

Back to the Littlewoods catalogue then.

Microsoft to block downloaded VBA macros in Office – you may be able to run 'em anyway

Re: Macros are the only real differentiator left between MSOffice and LibreOffice, bar one.

Fifteen years and you're still whining about the ribbon.

This is going well: Meta adds anti-grope buffer zone around metaverse VR avatars

I'm sure Nick Clegg's got this under control.

HMRC tool for measuring IR35 status is so great, employers are ditching it in their droves

Re: Parasol have gone bang after being hacked

Tell me more

Not looking forward to a greyscale 2022? Then look back to the past in 64 colours

Newspapers?

Get you, Grandad!