1. Displaying error messages in confusing jargon to cause user to assume delightful cross-eyed expression
2. designing unusable tiny keys to enhance appreciation of auto-correction feature
3. raising the device in your hand to enhance viewing the screen
4. producing loud error tones to cause embarrassment and Stockholm-syndrome-like loyalty in users with low self-esteem
5. humiliating peers with crass comparisons to farm animals having sex
6. plugging in to wall connected device to enhance battery charge
7. changing center of gravity of device to make sure it lands face down on the screen enhancing maintenance opportunities and revenue
I rmember all of this was in there somewhere....