* Posts by Deimos

46 posts • joined 2 Sep 2014

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

Deimos

Lovely example

It’s a pity I don’t teach infosec classes any more, this would make a perfect example to show the senior techies how a breach happens.

However from Twitters response I suspect someone found a weakness in their password reset system and they are putting up a smokescreen whilst they fix it. Either that or their separation of duties system is horrendous.

English is my first language but my sentence structure is odd when I remove the swearing.

For the price tag, this iPad Pro keyboard better damn well be Magic: It isn't... but it's not completely useless either

Deimos

iPad love affair

My new iPad Pro 12.9 inch 2020 model arrived this week, replacing my 4.5 year old iPad Pro which still works perfectly. So far since I re-entered the Apple cult around ten years ago all my devices still Function including my original iPhone 3gs now used as a music player. The only reason to upgrade has been new toy lust and the older models are still working for the female majority in my house plus assorted extended family members. The truly unique thing about The icult is that my average time between upgrades is four years, when using microsuck kit my average time was a year. The icult also keeps doing drama free updates for machines for a long time after other manufacturers, especially microsuck.

Icult kit is expensive but if you want quality with a genuinely top class interface then they are the absolute dogs danglies.

Former Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman calls on UK govt to legally protect data from contact-tracing apps

Deimos

I will not be downloading it.

Because I don’t trust anyone with that much personal info in one place.

One point about harriets change of mind, its her job as part of the opposition to point out problematic stuff in government actions and laws. When harriet was in government it was the tories job to do that. It makes changing your mind almost compulsory.

'iOS security is f**ked' says exploit broker Zerodium: Prices crash for taking a bite out of Apple's core tech

Deimos

New expressions

I’ve come up with a few

Coronafuck replacing clusterfuck

Pancession for pandemic caused recession

And of course

Boris bike current recipient of the PMs attentions.

Knocking shop replacement for party conference i.e. a gathering of folks that are easily bought.

Please blame all of the above on Pancession depression

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Deimos

Perhaps..

Microflaccid - it starts with an identifier but ends with a word that describes the company perfectly.

Their products were always middle of the road, weak, insipid and never advanced computing or the world in general.

When they did try to be bleeding edge, it was always the customer who bled (win95, windows fista and of course generations of subsurface slabs and windows phones). They abandon products faster than bojo forgets children and only have two real skills, hyperbole and paying lawyers.

Perhaps their greatest failure has been the inability to even remain as the evil tech giant of choice.

My favourite irony in all this is that Billy boy spent decades profiting from making virus friendly pc’s and then spent much of those profits fighting viruses in the human world. Go figure.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save data from a computer that should have died aeons ago

Deimos

Letting zombie code die for good.

I looked after a few walking dead type systems and did my best to pretend they were indestructible, never to be touched. So whenever it came to the time to finally shut them down the offending department always had to pay for a very expensive specialist to disinter the vital data. I usually insisted on them being hired for two weeks, gave them instructions and logins then went on holiday. It always pays to have someone to mind your office and let you know if anyone was trying it on.

And “Yes” I wrote all the cruddy old systems including the “export all, then die routines”, but having an office sitter was vital in our department (and paid well for old specialists who needed the work).

Ex-Autonomy CFO Sushovan Hussain's part in the accounting badness was 'wildly overblown'

Deimos

Autonomy was always a strange proposition

After some colleagues were thoroughly indoctrinated at an autonomy event I got nagged into a meeting with them.

The spiel was lovely but I never actually managed to find out what they did and why you needed it. Then they sent us a quote for twice our whole yearly IT budget... I then realised what it did, it identified companies with Too much money and rectified the situation.

IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen

Deimos

Y2K

I spent most of early 99 getting our monster database servers up to standard. This was done by Easter so by November I was a happy compliant tech lord ( under many layers of senior lords) and spent my free time laughing at the IT groups who weren’t ready.

Then I was “invited” to apply for a more senior lordship and got the job plus much money. Met new over lord and found out that the job was actually more fun than I thought, big happy me. Until leaving overlords domain, “one last thing” he said and yes you guessed it. I was in charge of all Y2K compliance, especially the IT groups who weren’t yet ready.

December was busy but we managed it. As far as I remember the only Y2K failure I ever saw was my very NSFW Jo Guest calendar program.

BOFH: What's the Gnasher? Why, it's our heavy-duty macerator sewage pump

Deimos

Ah blood sacrifice

It’s amazing how much kit needs need bodily fluids properly sacrificed to either start their function or maintain it.

The whole of M$ original software was entirely powered by the various fluids of a dozen odorous nerds and as the

devil agreed to make the OS compulsory, more and more serious onanists were required.

The onanistic critical mass and sacrifice of said perma-virgins resulted in the “launch “ of Win 95. We all know what happened next.

If only a couple of million litres of linux holy water had been available at the right time?

Handcranked HTML and JPEG japes. What could possibly go wrong?

Deimos

The greatest jape

Can be created by taking ownership of a particular boring British standard or process (Prince 2 is a good one).

Then you can reject any work or task you don’t fancy as “non compliant”.

I watched a particularly talented work dodger do this for almost a decade and it was a truly amazing performance to

watch as she managed two decades of producing nothing but meetings. I found not laughing at meetings to be a herculean task in itself.

Unfortunately I couldn’t say anything as she taught me the trick and even told me which standard to adopt (ISO14001 the environmental one). It is nice being retired whilst “still working”.....

The time a Commodore CDTV disc proved its worth as something other than a coaster

Deimos

Re: Cup Holders

I have updated many times over the years just to play the latest media but the HD BluRay upgrade has been horrendous. I had to BUY AN XBOX ONE, the pure unadulterated horror of creating an M$ account, using the worst interface ever and a controller that causes hand cramps in minutes.

Luckily I found a remote control that isn’t totally useless and I use it only as a disk player but it still looks so Wrong sitting amongst all my decent Sony kit.

And in the end I’ve only ever bought about five of the damned HD disks....

I could throttle you right about now: US Navy to ditch touchscreens after kit blamed for collision

Deimos

iPads are great.

I use mine for 95% of my daily information intake and rare comments But on a warship bridge ? Hell no.

They are an excellent part of a CIC but not for things like rudder and engine telegraphs.

One person's harmless japery can be another's night of LaserJet Lego

Deimos

The invisible button

As all techies know there is an invisible button beside every user, which fixes the problem as soon we stand on it.

On Friday my ability to find it failed and I’m now officially retired. My gardening youngsters managed to completely kill two separate bits of electric foliage remover and nothing I did could revive them. I therefore happily hang up my techie hat and now become a happy clueless luser. My brain downgrade is booked for next week.

When you play the game of Big Spendy Thrones, nobody wins – your crap chair just goes missing

Deimos
Gimp

Re: A more satisfying outcome ...

Problem with disassembly of ops managers is all those tough sinews and tendons. It is far easier to mummify them in red tape then store them under the raised floor directly below some legacy kit running Win NT, nobody will notice the whiff.

I don't have to save my work, it's in The Cloud. But Microsoft really must fix this files issue

Deimos

Re: A very traditional story @Nick Kew

I recovered one from a dog processed memory stick, a compressed data file with the users only photos of their deceased parents. Stinky but possible, needed two days work but I think it paid some of my karmic debt.

Wanted: Big iron geeks to help restore IBM 360 mainframe rescued from defunct German factory by other big iron geeks

Deimos

Drat

You beat me to the Joe 90 comment.

Prepare yourselves for Windows 10 May-hem. Or is it June, no, July?

Deimos

My last windows device

Is a lonely win 10 laptop that only exists to run my favourite vintage games.

It has no internet connection, so it has never updated and mucked up my carefully setup options.

Everything else is tablet based, so the Apple devices get updated but never automatically.

Our Android tablets might well upgrade but I don’t care as they don’t last that long.

I also use an Xbox one X as a hd blu ray player, it was updated once to play brand new disks that appear to have

An updated version of the blu ray standard.

In other words MS fine for niche uses but for every day use I trust it as far as you can spit pizza underwater.

UK pr0n viewers plan to circumvent smut-block measures – survey

Deimos

Re: Unintended consequences

Yup should be sorted in no time like brexit, knife crime and anything current government has tried to touch.

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight

Deimos

Surface in the NHS ?

In days gone by I spent many years advising the NHS buyers on IT. We would rather buy cheap efficient thin clients or repurpose ancient machines as “skinnies” than ever buy MS thickies.

As for surface kit, I suppose they might have sold 3 to the public sector since they were first launched but their local NHS BOFHs have ensured that they are buried in the same carpets as their buyers.

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour

Deimos

Dear Martian

As usual your words inspired me to open the good stuff, keep keeping on bruder.

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

Deimos

All the world should celebrate thanks giving

And give Thanks we are not Americans...

Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

Deimos

Re: Gabrielle Drake

Indeed SID was the best actor in the series, like Orac in Blakes 7. But those costumes for the moonbase and skydiver Lady crew members were magnificent.

The box sets of UFO and Space 1999 are sitting next to my chair and competing with Solo for tonight’s viewing, quite a quandary.

Deimos

Machine names

Ours were all from scifi machine names

So hal, orac, slave, data and many more but anyone remember sid ? Without using the internet to identify it of course.....

Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

Deimos

Re: "...hashland would sound silly."

Interrobang would be used at the end of the sentence

“You shut down the what “.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Deimos

The best unlock ever

I’ve spent years hacking away at locks and passwords but my favourite is still the first. I was working in an old church used as a museum, we found the proverbial “old locked desk drawer”.

After much mucking round it finally gave in and contained nothing but forty year old stationery and a pair of old photo negatives. I had a quick look at the negatives “Queenstown 1912 april 11th” and two mid distance shots of a ship.

Yup, you guessed it, I was holding the last two photos of Titanic ever taken. As this was before Ballard found the wreck they were unique.

I’ve opened up lots of locks since then but only ever found crud, that day was a good day.

Citation needed: Europe claims Kaspersky wares 'confirmed as malicious'

Deimos

Kaspersky got the shermans annoyed

By correctly detecting official USGOV naughty products as “spyware”, apparently due to a mistake by a USGOV human. What annoyed them most was that it sent the signature of the naughty ware back to mother Russia, as this is where Kaspersky is based.

Now (shock horror) Kaspersky products not only block this state sponsored naughty ware but also appear to be able to stop newer versions with different signatures. I doubt that they block Mr Putins patented naughty ware but neither d any other AV products.

So do you prefer Mr Putins favourite AV or Dear Donalds red, white and blue solutions?

Pity there isn’t a neutral solution? Or is there ?

Doctor, doctor! My NHS Patient Access app has gone TITSUP*

Deimos

EMIS

Ah yes the Excement maintenance info sys, one of several reasons for my second heart attack.

Although it would cause much screaming and pain, I would love to have one final, fully funded, fully supported try at replacing all the legacy IT crud that drags the NHS down.

It’s probably impossible but it would be a hell of a way to go. One huge team 50 % NHS human and 45 % devoted NHS loving techies, then try to find the best NHS IT Managers for the last 5%.

In my better dreams it succeeds (and I’m not old, fat or medically retired).

'Lambda and serverless is one of the worst forms of proprietary lock-in we've ever seen in the history of humanity'

Deimos

Thats it

Just came to this article from the one about huge amounts of crypto currency being borked.

So it's time to admit that an IT career that started in 1980 is Over, I can no longer stand by watching things repeat themselves.

I am retired due to multiple crippling heart attacks but I do help out the odd charity case, got a nice little job today - no money of course but nice to leave the house.

But its time to admit that I don't want to do this anymore, it hurts too much.

The generation before mine went to the moon, my generation made the PlayStation then Facebook.

I hope to reincarnate as a Spaniel.

Good luck boys and girls, it has been quite fun and always funny.

BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss

Deimos

Re: Why

I think the dead robot was twofer, it stopped the first batch of "stupidlivesmatter" candidates and hopefully landed on/close to someone who needed a gentle / less than lethal reminder.

Being a great BOFH isn't all about thinning the herd by fatal means, you need variety to avoid getting

careless or worse caught.

A scared workforce is far easier to control with constantly needing to terrify new staff, remember you need people to sign your invoices and purchase orders.

Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

Deimos

Japanese motorbikes

For every story of successful evolution there are many stories of failure, I'm thinking of the glorious Eastern European bikes like the MZ50. Not all newborns survive and that's without their massive death cult (I may have misspelled that) mentality and thousands of drone operating uber nerds that oppose them. Add in all the Russian cyber nutters, Anonymous keyboard killers and western intelligence agency geeks.....

I hate tp daesh their hopes but I think most will be collecting their virgins fairly soon.

PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Deimos

The broken projector

My personal favourite and I used it as an interview question for years after.

Back in 2000 l worked as IT bod in a typical little gov.uk place, lovely staff and a joy to support.

Got a call from top floor, big meeting, projector not focusing, tried everything, help!

Sensing panic we sent up our pfy, five minutes later HELP ! Big guest just arrived, projector still bad.

Sent our junior bofh, no joy, big guest now grumbling.

Grabbed spare projector and ran upstairs, then removed red hot lens cover and quietly left the room.

Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

Deimos
Gimp

I suspect the dark side is showing

I think the win 10 phone version and many other M$ products are actually the output of a huge misery producing AI. After trying to setup my first personal M$ crud in five years (a laptop and Xbox one s), I finally reached the conclusion that M$ are actually fuelled entirely by pain and suffering.

Obviously mainstream products have dedicated teams of pain goblins to cause enough horror to feed the dark lord bill but what of rarer products? How can you ensure that every tiny bit of Redmond crud reduces people to gibbering insanity?

Thus was born the super pain AI, itself entirely powered by people's despair at trying to not crap-grade to win 10. An AI designed to do nothing but hurt people, so entirely undistinguishable from actual interaction with M$.

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

Deimos

Alas no

Moriarty or to be exact Artie Murray (the bastard contractor from hell) met a nasty end in 1999. I seem to remember some reichenbach fallers being involved. The incident was so traumatic that the Bastard took many months to reboot.

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

Deimos

I do love scam calls

Mine are all from India and contain truly horrible mispronounced names, mostly because I gave a "survey which will never pass on your details" a name of someone who has been dead for 45 years.

So far my very dead ancestor has been involved in all sorts of adventures and ordered all sorts of stuff. The most fun is explaining to superstitious scammers that they were talking to the house poltergeist, which normally causes death by fear (pinched that plot from various Ring movies). Always get a kick from asking them (very seriously) how tortured the ghost sounded.

Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

Deimos

The book is superb

I read the book in the year before the film was made and still think its one of the greatest sci

fi novels ever. The film and tv series are both excellent in different ways, but I think the

actual novel is almost unfilmable. I also put "hardwired" and "the forever war" into the same category.

Great but almost impossible to film. Read all three of those novels asap, your life will be better for it.

Don't read Dianetics unless you have a real need to punish yourself and if you've been that evil recently- then goodbye Mr President.

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

Deimos
Happy

BOFH plus kids =

I foolishly let my eldest child read my BOFH archive plus "The Prince" and Kevin Mitnick..

She now works at a nice admin job managing real rocket scientists and sending stuff to crash on Mars. I was worried that my library might be a bad influence so I didn't give her siblings access, they all work in retail.

Suffice to say that I'm leaving my library to my grandchildren and seeding the books with fivers to encourage reading them.

Sony Pictures in IT lock-down after alleged hacker hosing

Deimos
Facepalm

Re: Predictable and not going away

Yup I am also very fond of the castle / bastion approach, it is also a great image to have on the screen when doing security awareness training.

My fear isn't the Nation-state grade tools, it's the tools inside the walls who effectively tunnel under the walls, leave the gates open at night and store all our crown jewels in a shed in the middle of town labelled "Jewels - keep out please".

I do wonder though why Sony appear to get hit so often, bad at Security or a campaign by MS to make XBOX dominant in the marketplace.

London police chief: City bankers, prepare for a terrorist cyber attack. Again

Deimos
Devil

Jolly alert !!

He was originally handed a bit of paper saying

"We have managed to get a couple of our chaps on continuous holiday in New York !!. All you have to do is host a couple of Yank holidaymakers in London and find a way to explain it to the great unwashed. Something to do with criminal bearded types or protecting children. Use your best judgement and you get to go to regular review meetings over there."

Hide your Macs, iPhones and iPads: WireLurker nasty 'heralds new era'

Deimos
Facepalm

Re: " trojanise " !

Yes it is, see my fine example below.

Under new laws in California, all male performers in the sex industry must use condoms.

A spokesman was quoted as saying "Guys have got to Trojanise or no work".

Deimos

Re: so once again

Probably right there, all my apple toys are IOS fondleslabs and I haven't really used desktop version since 1980's.

So it's not Apple, the bad guys are those naughty men from a certain non-democratic etc..

Deimos
Coat

so once again

We have malware that only infects those who leave the Apple walled garden (for the first infection that is).

Only effects those who used a dodgy Chinese site I believe, also sophisticated code and appears to only monitor the user. Hmmmm looks like a certain non-democratic Government doesn't it me old China ? Or could it be Apple making sure we never leave the walled garden ?

Sorry I'm going out now, I may be gone some time.

One Windows? How does that work... and WTF is a Universal App?

Deimos
Devil

the same O/S on everything

actually I don't think this will be a problem.

How many windows phones and surface pro tablets will still be around by the end of 2015 ?

Now subtract all the older than 2015 devices as they won't be upgradable.

Finally subtract the 99% of users who aren't daft enough to pay for a new O/S.

We are left with 2000 corporate users all based in Redmond or Nokialand and a couple of dozen seriously mad folks.

the only universal apps needed for Windows phone and Surface Pro will be Maps for finding Microsoft offices and a practical guide to muttering on trains whilst dribbling.

Don't buy that phone! It ATTRACTS CRIMINALS, UK.gov will tell people

Deimos

Re: And meanwhile in the real world

The not very bright

Drug addicts

The very impulsive

Grandiose narcissists who think they are cleverer and more important than anybody else

Psychopaths who think everybody else is a stupid sheep who only exists to be exploited.

You will readily work out that most of these people are poor at evaluating risk.

You had me until you got to narcissists and Psychopaths, you mean managers and BOFH's ?

While managers are lousy at evaluating risk, BOFH's are master at calculating Risk - then making sure the resultant risk comes true for the manager.

NUDE SELFIE CLOUD PERV menace: Apple 2FA? Sweet FA, more like

Deimos

Re: Deleted data stolen?

Let Me translate.

Picture taken on Phone A.

Deleted on iPad B.

still in photo stream.

Deimos

so it's finally arrived

The Internet of Thingies.

Sorry, couldn't resist it. going now.

Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

Deimos
Holmes

list of suspects

So - long time-frame, multiple devices, multiple O/S and quite a small group of prime clickbait.

1. was it a "free WiFi" access point at the Emmy or Oscar awards ?

2. someone in the NSA cloud monitoring team just got his prize swag stash onto a USB stick and out of the building ?

3. it really was that simple password vulnerability on the "find my iPhone app" plus said celebs moving photos from other sources to their icloud (or getting them sent from people with other devices) ?

4. a cynical attempt to either sell a security service or discredit Apple ?

just my very non comprehensive list, any better suspects ? but please remember "Investigating or commenting on any high profile leak is like trying to hug a hedgehog, the harder you try the more pricks you encounter" and I'm just the first....

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