Posts by Slappy

Scarlett Johansson unleashes voracious sexuality in steamy alien film

Giggedy

Giggedy, giggedy, giggedy.

That is all!

Mines the Quagmire shirt

UK promises 'transformative' cyber security programme

A new Buzz-Word

FFS, another one to add to the list-of -words-that-make-me-stop-listening.

Transformative, empowerment, quango, "double-dip"...

See? I lost interest already!

Miniskirted Brazilian is appealing...

Miniskirted Brazilian is appealing...

Yeah, she is!

Thumb up?

Say no more

Little Chef in 'I ♥ Charlie' t-shirt outrage

A title is possibly required

That would be "Purple Ohms", so called because of the ... wait for it... purple ohm symbol printed on them. Purple Haze is a type of weed

Erm, so i heard.

Oh, the IT angle?

Microsoft caps Ballmer bonus over mobile phone, tablet failures

Poor bastard

<Guffaw!>

/me rolls under table

Star Wars set for 3D rehash

OMFG!

WTF?

GG!

Really George?

Sony Ericsson screens wireless display for phones

Why?

Really?

I own an X10 and have no idea if it can connect to more than one BT device at a time.

So is this useless if you are already using a headset?

BlackBerry tablet boots from 'floppy disk OS'

Wow

That bloody huge bezel is a right munter!

Facebook Places checks in to UK

(untitled)

,<Sigh>

Just stop all this 2.0 bobbins.

Gmail inbox experiment auto sorts 'important' messages

Google advertiser spam to the top then?

That is all

UK privacy watchdog clears Google Wi-Fi slurp

Bunch of useless Twats

That is all

Armed with exploits, ATM hacker hits the jackpot

Windows based

Yes, i've seen an ATM local to me that displayed a Windows 2000 screen when it fell over

UK.gov slams Facebook over Moat fan clubs

David Cameron is a cock?

Apparently so according to the FB group started after he stuck his tory nose in

Mozilla stokes Firefox 4 with first beta build

Tabs at the bottom?

That mate is a bloody good point!

Mass hack plants malware on thousands of webpages

Adblock+ FTW!

That is all.

Waterstone's whips out its pendulous dugs

Title would go here

Big fat Fail!

Police send Reg hack CRB check database

Maybe the plodlet was distracted

By farmfacevilletownbook

Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

So...

How long do you have to Taze a sheep for that nice crispiness?

Do Tazers manufacturers recommend Mint Jelly or Mint Sauce?

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Any hope of

reproducing the accident?

Must get the missus a Wii!

iPhone 4.0: iAds, multitasking, and 98 tweaks

iAds

Fuck that shit, one more reason not to buy apple

/smug mode

Mandybill: All the Commons drama

What a bunch of wankers

That is all.

Smartphone app botnet experiment blows up a storm

Thanks....

...for making the app store look like a good idea :(

Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates

Looking at her mugshot

How could the cop be sure which end she was shaving?

Think software patching is a hassle? You're not alone

Free advert for PSI?

Anyone?

Google 'personalizes' one in five searches

Buzz words

"At least he didn't say "leverage" or "paradigm""

Or "Empower", how i hate that one!

Ubuntu's Lucid Lynx to Facebook and Twitter you

Smacked in the face

By the sweaty scrotum of social netwworking and web 2.xx again. FFS, i look forward to the day when i have my car, wallet and portions of my brain integrated with FartBook, Twatter and some as yet undiscovered social networking bollocks.

Why Mr Shuttleworth? Why?

'Fat birds get laid sooner, have more one-night stands'

<sigh>

Now posting "Thats 'cos they're a bunch of fat slappers" seems kind of moot.

Have beard will travel---> Coat

World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

Really?

REALLY?

FFS, I quit.

As of this point I disown the human race.

You'll get no more tech help from me.

That is all.

Google will build 1Gbps fiber networks to the home

Yeah

Hello, Google give the UK some of that fibre lovin'

To the door no less, none of this "Mother of all broadband, fibreoptic internets. Oh wait we lied it only goes to the green box around the corner, but thats OK" bollocks.

FFS, cmon VM I can see the box from my front window!

New cig peril: Third-hand smoke coats puffers in poison

You git...

I was really enjoying this bacon sahnie :(

LG eyes golden age of telly with retro CRT set

Munter

If the word can be applied to a TV, feck thats ugly!

The Loch Ness Stig gets pixellated

Stig FTW

Obviously...

after all, he could be Jack Bauer.

Oh, slow news day? Wasn't this posted in the original Stig at Loch Ness article?

Mozilla unfurls first mobile Firefox

Oh sweet

was the first thing through my mind when i saw the headline, then I read the article.

(I really must stop doing that, it leads to disappointment)

Damnit, no good for my viewty them :(

Brit kids failing to fall out of trees

You're all missing the point

Around here you're liable to get nicked for indulging in a bit of tree climbing... really!

From about 3 years ago

"Children arrested, DNA tested, interrogated and locked up... for playing in a tree."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-397240/Children-arrested-DNA-tested-interrogated-locked--playing-tree.html

Steve Jobs uncloaks the 'iPad'

Meh...

I'll wait till Asus/Acer et al bring out a superior machine for half the price <ducks for coat>

Google betas Flash-free YouTube sans open codec

No Chrome = No Youtube?

Sweet!

then i wont hear my kids playing the same vids (songs) over and over again :D

MS in Xbox 360 ESPN sports show talks

EPIC

Wow, more useless crap to clog up the dashboard.

Facebook... Nope. Awful, awful

Twitter... Nope. Ditto

Sky... Nope. Casttv.com FTW!

Movies... Nope, i really wnat to watch other peoples childish avatars arsing around. (I have kids and a TV for that)

LastFM... Nope. I'm the kind of bastage that turns ingame music off cos i find it distracting.

ESPN... Nope. Sport, wassat then?

FFS, if i'd wanted an entertainment platform i would have bought a fat PS3!

Microsoft predicts Linux will fail mobile 'quality' test

Well,

he would say that wouldn't he?

Men could have kids with chimpanzees - gov must act

Anyone...

Who goes out drinking in the Cradley area will know this may already have happened.

Dead Vulture pic? Thats one unattractive bird!

Robo spy-zeppelin prototype in test flight

A crusing speed of 60kts

and about 150kts all over the sky when it gets punctured by a SAM.

Top security firm: Phorm is adware

@The Other Steve

"Cockbadgers"

Thank you for a wonderful new word :D

Back dooor shenanigans?

"Targeted online advertising services should be provided with the explicit consent of ISPs' users or by the acceptance of the ISP terms and conditions"

So, we'll all be opting in by a backdoor change of some obscure section of TOCs?

Second jellyfish pack moves on UK

Re: Re: Nature v Nurture

We just need to find a use for them, Organic, self healing breast implants?

Wave power prototype sinks after seven weeks

Sorry

That went down well!

>Coat>Gone

Living brain in powerful robot body tech goes live

New overlords?

I for one welcome our new cybernetically enhanced insect overlords.

Why does this story give me mental images of thousands of these bug-bots descending onto a field of tobacco, to the tune of Ride Of The Valkyries?

dumdumdededumdum dumdededumdum dumdededumdum dumdededum

See what you've done reg? I'll never get that f'kin tune out of my head now :(

Shocked Shatner shunted from Star Trek XI

Ah well

Picard was better anyway ;p

Police tackle crime hotspots with scary warning poster

Or....

"People in this area are low IQ thieving scum, if you can read this poster, you should leave"

Robot builders hunt for a killer application

Trower said...

"Microsoft is particularly interested in robots assisting the elderly"

You have 15 minutes to comply!

Dead dog floors 68 Namibian villagers

A dog is not just for Christmas...

With luck there may be enough left for Boxing Day!

The first rule of Reg Club is...

Where's the IT....

Nevermind, i'll get me coat