Posts by Paul

Apple Mac Pro

Drool...

and I'm not a fanboi.

If i had 10 grand It would dual boot for me too.

Boffin: Titan moon largely made of LPG, not cheese

@ CRYPT...

"..but what potential threat to "Intersolar security" can we use as a pretext to send the troops to titan?."

If you look at the image, thats no moon, thats a Halo.

So the covenant and possibly the flood would be excuse enough.

Mines the recon armour on the left...

Ex-Star Wars boffins build mosquito-blasting raygun

"and placed this fearful engine of insectoid genocide under the control of a Dell PC"

Dell PC's with frikkin lasers, Be afraid, be very afraid!

HP begins selling pay cut plan to European workers

How long is a piece of string?

Twice as long as half its length.

Any muppet (except a HP one) knows that.

.................

@ Scott Swarthout, Genius!

@ AC14:54, no there isn't, unless you spell TEAM as TEAME.

Nokia N97 price skyrockets

Hopefully...

By then O2 will have stopped trying to protect the Iphone from being overtaken by 2007/2008/2009 specced devices that also come with copy and paste, and will actually stock it.

Rather than what they did with the N96 that they held back for so long for "network isssues" -read "contract with apple"

Brit nuke subs exposed on Google Earth

If "they" really wanted to cause havok, google earth isn't required.

Using their own reasoning, why are the sun reporters (I use the term loosely) not outraged at wikipedia?

Plenty of explosives and weapons info, details of bases, and plenty other sensitive and less defended areas. For example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Richard_Montgomery

If someone decided to blow the ship up in the Thames it would cause a lot of damage.

Don't get me wrong, I think the info should be there, part of being an open society (or at least one part the government havent taken away YET) . It just annoys me that the suntards really think that censoring google maps/earth will stop terrorism.

NASA releases moon return globo-projection movie

Re: Does this mean

You can also explore the internet at www.google.com Amazing isnt it!

BT Granite slimline DECT cordless phone

"late 1990's nokia"

I have just started using my old 8210, Its a classic design,

I forgot just how good the trusty little handset is. Just got a brand new 1300mah battery for £3 and a new cover for £2 Off ebay. I might even get another 10 years use out of it.

And the call quality beats my N95 hands down.

Vista SP2 release candidate imminent?

Vista sp2...

Is Windows 7, nuff said.

Windows 7 fast track alarms technical testers

Too fast for Win 7?

Id say that its right on time for vista Sp1!

Dell confirms Wasabi portable printer

Polariod

Also have a similar product out. uses heat to make the images, on identical sized stickers.

Was launched about a year ago I think.

tis on firebox for £99; http://www.firebox.com/product/2145/PoGo-Instant-Photo-Printer

Nokia prepares to fiddle with Symbian

ok, ok blah blah...

But when can I get hold of the N97?

Tell me Nokia! TELL ME NOW!

Terabit Ethernet possibilities

All well and good

But when do I get it bult in my router and PC?

Now would be good!

EU threatens 'formal action' against UK.gov on Phorm

Arrgh!

"difficult to explain the secret trials to customers"

WELL YES, THEY WERE SECRET.

DO YOU TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS TO FORGET YOUR SPYING ON THEM AFTER YOU ADMIT IT? OR JUST NOT BOTHER TELLING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Black helecopter: For the legwork Phorm and BT are doing on behalf of HMG and Whacky Jaqui in controlling us all.

Jacqui Smith ecstatically ignores more scientific advice

@Whacky baccy Jaqui

She may have heard the evidence.

But she didn't inhale!

My 2 penneth, Sack the stupid cow, then force feed her plenty of E in a ganja smoke filled room..

You're barcoded: The sneaky under-25 route to compulsory ID

my solution..

Tried buying a crate of Tuborg at ASDA,, these were £10 exactly before the VAT dropped

I was asked for ID and didn't have any, (im 26), i just left the £10 on the till, picked up the crate and walked out.

No laws broken, I paid, I'm over 18 so they can't be fined. what can they do?

Stupid fuckers!

Microsoft SKUs Windows 7 clarity

3 words for you...

UBUNTU, UBUNTU, UBUNTU!

Nigerian car thief turns into sheep

What no credit?

I sent this to the reg this morning via [e-mail] and no bootnote saying "thanks to Paul in Leeds for the tip."

Lucky Mancs could get ID cards first, Jacqui declares

@ grom

"- hardly chav-ville what with all the footballers' wives"

Err, no, thats just rich chav-ville, Take 1 chavette + talented football playing gorilla = footballers wife.

The fire was getting a bit low so I put some more logs on, Hope you don't mind.

Where's Wally Vista SP2?

Answering the sp2 question...

Windows 7 will be out late 2009 / early 2010.

No joke icon you say? Well, I'm not joking!

Take a hammer to your hard drive, shrieks Which?

@ Ryk Edelstein

Very Informative, thanks!

But a hammer or thermite, still a lot more fun.

Suffolk braces for 300mph winds

@oliver mays

Midnight til 3am is the eye of the storm.

Conficker seizes city's hospital network

"external anti-virus specialists"

Ahh yes, they installed an old version of norton 03, when that didnt work they saw some convienient pop up offers for system mega virus cleaner pro 2009 and thought, why not?

Robot set to replace science teachers

May I suggest...

that teachers replace the robots teaching *everything* at my old school.

Chinese exam cheats employing spy-tech

"...but first let's get into the groove with a bit of Adam Ant"

Adam Ant!?

Plince charming is not a party member and ridicurle is something we are scared of, prease

by-stand whire we google censor for us.

I've only shagged two blokes, insists Paris Hilton

Hmmm, @Sarah

She's blonde, dumb, and famous for what exactly? could it possibly be the video evidence of her being a "galloping slutbeast"

Your too kind Sarah! Some people would call her Americas most vacuous, shallow waste of genetic material, after all she's swallowed enough of it!

DARPA seeks spraycan wound-polyfilla* for injured troops

Not an original idea,

Biofoam, in HALO does exactly the same job.

If its good enough for the Master Chief maybe darpa should have a look... hey wait, why not just make a 7 foot tall insurgent busting guy in a suit, possibly green, complete with frikkin' (boeing - not spartan) laser and "darpa" foam.

Mines the mark 5, Recon armour.

NZ cops claim 'first Facebook arrest' of bungling safe-cracker

With a face...

that blocky, no wonder someone recognised him.

Ballmer reacquaints Microsoft with its PC past

Only noticed the important things in the article;

blah blah bla...New Halo games! FCUKIN' SWEET! blah blah...

First Windows 7 beta puts fresh face on Vista

Well

I'm sticking with XP X64, most stable windows I've ever had,

Runs great with Quad Phenom, 8GB ram and virtual memory turned off.

(Just don't try playing 9 different HD movies, COD4 and running utorrent with -/+30gb of downloads all at once, or at least more than once, I had to try :-P)

Sony Vaio P netbook taken for a spin

Sony time travel included?

"$900 blah....These are shipping the beginning of February, get yours today"

Er, well, do I get Februarys lottery numbers as well? if so I'll take 2! (ones a present)

I'm wearing my coat, its freezing in here.

Mattel bemuses gamers with 'brainwave' toy

Can't decide...

Is this for training your kids in the ways of the force? "Fighting your sister leads to the dark side my young sprog, who's turn it is matters not"

OR

The new Scientologists E-meter 2.0? *gullible fool moves ball* " Wow Sir, ever thought of battling Xenu?, and can you setup a direct debit"

Norfolk children get £310,000 of free laptops

Laptops for ahem, travellers..

Why are el reg being so sensitive about the word *Pikey* is it possiby because once thier little pikeletts get online they'll tell all thier possible fathers to "cume an beat yer".

I do applaud the giving laptops out, finally they can bring daddies' "tarmuck yer driv" business online.

Many a true word said in jest....

Pope praises Galileo, celebrates the Solstice

Pope to appear on sky at night?

Yes, apparently he's visible with the naked eye or binoculars, telescopes are a bit too powerful.

US cybersecurity defences fail to thwart mock cyberattack

Mars...

Where have you been recently?

I missed your total gibberish!

A few words to the wise....

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!

Register Hardware revamped

Looks a LOT like

the web 2.0 that the reg is always deriding.

My sister is studying media GCSE, even she can make a better looking site.

Oh and nice black and really faint grey, Not really accesible to visually impaired users, Comments about glasses, are NOT welcome, they don't make 'em strong enough for some peoples conditions.

SORT IT OUT!!!

Native Client d**k-swinging met with fake Googasm

Its all a secret plan...

(In best Arnie voice)

On August 29th 2011 at 18:17 eastern time, Google becomes self aware, at 18:56 it launches an all out attack on its rivals in Redmond and Cupertino.

The counterattack destroys the remaining opposition. skyn- *ahem Google then rules the planet, installed on every machine. A few survivors running ubuntu on EEPC's with 3 mobile broadband start a resistance, the plan is to send a BOFH back in time....

#music#

Duh-du, duh ,duh, duh, Duh-du, duh ,duh, duh, wahwawahhh, wah, wah, wah....

Fujitsu looking to sell hard drive unit

Fujitsu looking to sell hard drive unit

All these years and they've never sold a hard drive?

Yes, the taxis already booked.

Brit ISPs censor Wikipedia over 'child porn' album cover

Have just reported the truly shocking images on...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevermind

To the internet thought police via their handy homepage.

Save us from record covers you can buy in the shops!

Or a better plan would be save us all from the STUPID FUCKTARDS that censor 30 year old, publicly available content, on wikipedia.

Where the hell are we? China??

Phorm, Norman Lamont, and the Broadband Stakeholder Group

WOO, YAY and HOUPLA!

"Whatever prompted the split, the pressure on CEO Kent Ertugrul now is immense. Phorm's last set of financial results showed it lost £13.8m in the first six months of 2008. With only £24.9m in the bank and a third trial with BT still ongoing, time isn't on its side.

Further fundraising in the current economic environment is likely to be difficult."

The first positive effect of the credit crunch!

Long may the losses and lack of funding continue (for Phorm)

For everyone else, happy Christmas and a prosperous, profiling free, new year.

More Tasers for cops: not in London

Capital sticks with traditional methods!

Would that be shooting innocent Brazillians or just giving people a kicking and a dna swab when they refuse to stop taking pictures -legally-.

DARPA wargamer calls for US X-Men superplane fleet

Halo

Really Whats needed are Orbital Drop Shock Troops, ODST's.

Launch 'em in a stealth capsule from space, complete with all supplies. or maybe a couple of spartans, complete with thier Frikkin lasers. that'll get the job done :-)

Gamers voice NXE woes

"Play a waiting game"

Well no, actually I'd just like to play COD4 and Halo3, Is that really too much to ask?

Fu*kwits!

Lewis Hamilton mulls riding Virgin

Shatner...

"I do want to go up but I need guarantees I'll definitely come back"

As its Sub-orbital, I'm guessing gravity would be your guaruntee.

In what manner you return however, is not.

Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar

OMFG!

Quote-The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".- Unquote

I laughed so much I could hardly breathe after reading that!

"Bouts of wrestling" *chuckle*

"homemade sex aid" *chuckle chuckle*

"jack russell terrier" *die of laughter*

IT? who gives a fuck?!

Retro piracy - Should the Royal Navy kick arse?

"with gunmen in speedboats seizing entire ships as often as once a week"

How / how often do they seize 2/3 rds of a ship! :-)

Life ain't a bowl of funding at CherryPal

@ Cherrypal 419

Damm you sir, you beat me to it, I had same thought here as soon as I read:

We had a firm and binding funding agreement with a UK based African-born family," Seybod began. "Unfortunately they never followed through and left us high and dry."

Although the boys from Lagos would probably like a cheap low power machine to scam people on.

Blundering workmen cut major Docklands fibre

Its still SLOOOOOW

Has been for the past couple of days and doesnt seem to be getting much better, I usually get 14 megabits down, service is now intermittent at best.

Northrop scoops DARPA laser RIFLe cash

SWEET!

FINALLY I GET MY FRIKKIN SPARTAN LASER!

Took long enough....

UK.gov plans 'consensus' on PAYG phone registry

Petition to stop communications data bill...

All regtards must do thier duty....

"More details from petition creator:

The Communications Data Bill would give the Government the legal authority to collect a database of every phone call, e-mail and time spent on the internet by the public. Even though the Government insists that this bill would reduce terrorism (which it probably will not), this is an intolerable intrusion into the privacy of free citizens and a step towards a dystopian "Big Brother" state. The Bill must be quashed to protect civil liberties and halt the slippery slope towards an Orwellian 1984-type nightmare."

http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/no-to-1984/#detail