* Posts by Andrew Kelly

30 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Jul 2007

Kevin Bacon avoids slapped wrist after TV pipe-fatness claims

Andrew Kelly

Slightly off-topic

I can't believe that Sky have been allowed to get away with their "Al Pacino on a piano" advert that implies that to stream music from the internet you need fibre-optic broadband.

Talk about using a sledgehammer to crack an egg.

Tech City UK quango rearranges Shoreditch

Andrew Kelly

Moorgate / Liverpool Street

Oh no, they've moved Moorgate and Liverpool Street stations. That's an extra 15 minute walk into work now.

Christmas shoppers hit by BT fire

Andrew Kelly

@ those who've never worked in telecoms

Could they please explain how to design around the last two miles (or in the case of most central London exhanges, the last few hundred yards) of copper being distribued from a single exchange?

The biggest flash drive in the world

Andrew Kelly

How big?

Memory stick sized would ge good but micro sd would be even better.

In 10 years time we'll all be saying "Remember when they brought out that 100TB SSD that was the size of a wardrobe? Those were the days!"

Another 0.03% of Blighty goes wind powered

Andrew Kelly

How are these wind generators built?

Can they be built using less energy than they produce? If not, then it seems pretty pointless.

Govt powers up electric cars with £5k subsidy

Andrew Kelly

@By michael Posted Thursday 16th April 2009 12:26 GMT

Your comments might carry more weight if we could understand what you had written.

BTW how do I transport my wife, 2 kids and luggage (including baby's pushchair) 150 miles to the Isle of Wight in an electric car?

I can't see us all getting into a G-wiz, Smart Car or Mini.

Andrew Kelly

carbon emissions

Out of interest, how much carbon will be produced in burning fossil fuels to produce the electricity that these cars will run on?

BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

Andrew Kelly


Where have you been hiding for the last 40-odd years?

Chingford, Enfield & Edmonton are very much in London.

Google Street View hits UK streets

Andrew Kelly
Black Helicopters

Have you seen anyone acting suspiciously?

A colleague at work had a knock on his door about 5 minutes after this picture was taken. The guys loading the lawnmomers on the van asked him if he had seen anyone acting suspiciously as their lawnmowers had just been knicked.


National Express to 'ban' trainspotting

Andrew Kelly


They installed gates at Hertford North a couple of years ago. They are only allowed to be operational when they have 2 Revenue Protection Officers (ticket inspectors to me & you) in attendance. When there aren't 2 RPOs around, the gates are left open. This tends to be after 7pm when all the non-fare paying scrotes use the trains.

Also had an incident a few months ago where an RPO challenged someone on a train who clearly didn't have a ticket. This person got off the train at the next stop and the RPO carried on checking tickets on the train. When asked why he didn't try to get the offender's details and issue a fine, he said that it's not his job to chase after these people.

Hardly surprising they're losing so much money. Sack all the RPOs and don't put in any more gates - they'll save millions.

Robbie Williams, Billy Bragg et al say downloads aren't illegal

Andrew Kelly

Chairman Bragg

Billy Bragg on the board of directors. Whatever happened to the angry young socialist?

Prof: Save up fossil fuel reserves to fight the next ice age

Andrew Kelly
Thumb Up


We all move to Spain.

Problem sorted.

World's smallest working fuel cell developed

Andrew Kelly


I think you will find that power is measued on BallmerJobs. Ballmers per Jobs is current divided by voltage which I will leave to some other clever dick to tell us what that is.

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

Andrew Kelly

One thing that the interweb has taught me

There are an awful lot of people out there who can't spell even the most basic words.

My only comment on the Brand-Ross-Manuel saga is: how can Brand be described as a comedian?

Blundering workmen cut major Docklands fibre

Andrew Kelly

Centre of London?

Do you know where Docklands is?

Having had first hand of these hairy arsed navvies I would put the blame firmly with them. Dig now, worry about the consequenxces later is their motto. And then try to a pull a fast one so you don't have to pay for the damage.

TfL considers life without Oyster

Andrew Kelly


Why doesn't the government implant a chip in all of us? Could be used for all sorts of ID purposes.

Mine's the one with my oyster card in the other one.

Hadron boffins: Our meddling will not destroy universe

Andrew Kelly

Nothing to worry about

I'm sure that ET and his pals are keeping a close eye on proceedings. If they thought that there was a possibility of anything untoward happening I'd like to think that they would appear within plenty of time (7 seconds from switch on I would imagine) and put a halt on things.

Or maybe this is just a big ruse to get ET to show himself?

Lag log leaks - Home Office contractor loses entire prison population

Andrew Kelly

What worries me

is not the loss of data but this statement from the BBC website:


"The data on the stick also includes information from the Police National Computer of some 30,000 people with six or more convictions in the last year."

Have I read that right? 30,000 people have six or more convictions in the last year. How the hell does someone tot up six or more convictions in one year?

Mine is the one with its pocket being picked.

Premiership tackles Ukranian football streaming site

Andrew Kelly

@ Lex & The Cube

Do a little research. This site was showing games that weren't being shown live in this country, i.e. games that kicked off at 3pm on a Saturday.

However, as others have said, it's incredible that this site was getting away with charging £9.95 for something that other sites give you for nowt. As the saying goes "there's one born every minute".

UK.gov will force paedophiles to register email addresses

Andrew Kelly

Someone must be setting her up for a big fall

She is put in the public eye and given a load of rubbish to spout but she appears to believe that what she has been told to say is factually correct.

I can't believe that the opposition parties haven't ridculed her yet.

Women overtaking men in tech abuse

Andrew Kelly

Ha ha

Another April Fools joke. Almost caught me out.

Beer set to hit four quid a pint

Andrew Kelly

Could this see inflation spiral out of control?

With many a good deal being closed in the pub over a pint or ten and those pints being claimed back as expenses and those expenses claimed back from the client via increased costs, could we be seeing compound inflation (have I coined a new phrase?) on the way?

Woman admits fleecing shopping network of more than $412,000

Andrew Kelly

@ david

You should go and give yourself up at your local police station immediately.

Cops pull plugs on TV-links, claim 'facilitation of infringement'

Andrew Kelly

What about Google?

A Google search will bring up websites that link to copyrighted material.

Will the British bobbies be sent to Google HQ to arrest their top bods for something that they're not really sure of?

BT home router wide open to hijackers

Andrew Kelly

A thread purely for BT broadband

How about El Reg starts a thread purely for BT broadband horror stories. I reckon I could post 30+ straight away. It could be under some sort of fiction heading as most people wouldn't believe that a company could be run so badly and stay in business.

Britannia triumphs over Johnny Metric

Andrew Kelly

If we have a common measuring system...

...is the next step a common language?

Eurostar inaugurates UK high-speed track

Andrew Kelly

Is it just London to Paris today?

I'm sure our continental cousins would be well impressed with a 2hr 15minute journey from Paris to London and then queueing for 2 hours for a bus/taxi due to the underground being on strike.

Yangtze river dolphin is an ex-cetacean

Andrew Kelly

How clever are dolphins?

I can't believe they are that clever. How many have won mastermind?

VoIP services must offer 999, says Ofcom

Andrew Kelly

Users need to weigh up the risks

As long as users are informed that they can't call the emergency services, then it is their decision to decide whether or not to go with VoIP.

The choice is there, they are not being forced into it.

Harry Potter and the Chancers of eBay

Andrew Kelly

I wonder...

...if JK Rowling ever read The Wall Around The World by Theodore Cogswell?

A story about an orphaned boy who lived with his aunt & uncle who treated him poorly compared to his cousin. He went to school where wizardry was taught and he had a flying broomstick, blah, blah, blah.