* Posts by Timmy Cratchit

10 posts • joined 18 Aug 2014

Italy's High Court orders HP to refund punter for putting Windows on PC

Timmy Cratchit

Re: If

WOAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH..... There RICHTO! Lay off the crack - you've clearly had enough. You're confusing SOFTware and HARDware. Shirely someone who works in the marketing dept of a large software concern should know the difference?

>I bought a car and then decided I didn't like the engine, I wouldn't expect to be able to just pull the engine out and ask for some of my money back.

If I bought a car and then discovered the dealer had stuffed a Celine Dion CD into the player I'd feel disgusted, violated and terrorised.

If I bought a car and then discovered the dealer had stuffed a Celine Dion CD into the player. Then discovered they'd defaced *MY* brand new car with "Made for Celine Dion" stickers festooned all over the bodywork. Then discovered those Celine Dion stickers were made with extra-cunning-practically-impossible-to-remove-and-guaranteed-to-destroy-the-paintwork-if-you-try(tm) "adhesive". Then discovered they'd CHARGED(!!!!ONE!) me EXTRA(!!!!ONE!) for the heinous unsolicited and unwanted CD and advertising sticker attack I'd... SUE THE FUCKERS... just as this Italian Gent appears to have done. Should have added professional cleaning costs for the palmrest-fungus to his damages.

There, FTFY 0:-)

Good on the litigant. ..and good on the Italian courts for standing up for the rights of the consumer over the whim of some foreign cartel.

Can't help thinking the judgement will be overturned by Europe 'though. I might be out of date but didn't the EC and cartels contrive a decree a few years ago to (largely successfully) drive diversity and the small, agile PC assembly concerns out of the market? Something along the lines of "all computers must be sold in an expensively and long-windedly tested and certified 'ready-to-use' configuration." Under a depressingly sarcastic "consumer protection" excuse too! Perhaps this'll prove to be an opportunity to get that abomination fixed! (If it hasn't been fixed already) Fingers crossed!

Raising my pint to the Italians BTW ------>

Ex-Autonomy execs: HP's latest wad blows apart fraud allegations

Timmy Cratchit

Re: Sounds like typical buyers remorse.

> Sounds like typical buyers remorse.


1) Buy something you don't understand and have no idea what to do with, against the advice of YOUR OWN experts. Just so your competitors can't get it.

2) Smash it up.

3) Demand a refund!

Sounds more like psychosis to me.

The curious case of HP vs. capatilism.

I have a neighbour I dislike... If HP manages to pull this scam off, do you think I'd be able to persuade them to do the same to his house? That'd fix him!

SAN-free, NAS-free? Scottish PHDs lift kilt on how they'll pull storage out of the aether

Timmy Cratchit

Re: Re: Pen-y-gors What happens when...

Good God man, you nearly gave me a massive Connery.

Have you had a stroke? ..or stopped reading The Daily Mail? ..or discovered (dietary) fibre? ..or something?

Please tell! ...and whatever it is, KEEP IT UP!

NHS grows a NoSQL backbone and rips out its Oracle Spine

Timmy Cratchit

Re: "Basho claimed Riak is up to two times cheaper than Oracle..."

> ... so Riak must be more expensive than SQL/Server then...

On the reasoning that the "cheapness" quotient of Oracle's stuff must be negative? Does seem like the only remotely coherent interpretation :-|

Methinks English is not the author's native tongue.

Vote NOW for LOHAN's arboreal avoidance algorithm acronym

Timmy Cratchit


Routines for Evading Hazardous Attractive Branches

OK. No more, I promise 0:)

Timmy Cratchit


Heuristic Operations Hamper Arboreal Nastiness

Oh God. I think I've got psychonaut's disease.

Timmy Cratchit

BAAAAAAPS in SPAAAAACE!!!!!!!!one!!!

Best Arboreal Avoidance Algorithm Achievable After Paltry Spending

This is so much more fun than doing anything productive.

Timmy Cratchit

Bugger! Missed all the fun...

...still feel strangely compelled to splaff my spleen into SPAAAAACE* though... so...


Instrument for



Snarfus by

Adjustment of







Identification &



*Uncanny. Remarkably quiet and lonely around here. In SPAAAAACE no one can hear you splaff :(

Munich considers dumping Linux for ... GULP ... Windows!

Timmy Cratchit

Re: Apparently the problem is more "botched administration"

Damn that pesky security. There's probably never been a more sound reason to migrate to Microsoft.

Take the shame: Microsofties ADMIT to playing Internet Explorer name-change game

Timmy Cratchit

Re: Condition

I've always found "Idiot Exploiter" to be profoundly pithy, succinct and almost supernaturally accurate. Comes with the huge advantage of retaining the existing "IE" abbreviation too. Perfect!.. so they won't choose that then.

No doubt $MSFT will want to *appear* high-brow and businesslike. So, what about "Iliua Equi"?


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