* Posts by Spacedinvader

234 posts • joined 7 Aug 2014

Page:

Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Spacedinvader
Black Helicopters

Re: NHS Test-and-Tag

Wrong icon :)

Spacedinvader
Paris Hilton

Re: I always read Dido Harding...

a dildo that would run at a slow speed, be unreliable, and likely leak your personal details.

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/04/04/intimate_adult_toy_fails_penetration_test/

Spacedinvader
Pint

Re: Chair of NHS Improvement

I actually did work with a chap with that name...

NASA's Human Spaceflight boss hits eject a week before SpaceX crew launch

Spacedinvader
Stop

Re: Going while the going's good

"250m mile journey"

The moon is a tad closer than that...

Bose shouts down claims that it borked noise cancellation firmware to sell more headphones

Spacedinvader
Joke

BOSE

Buy Other Sound Equipment

Remember that clinical trial, promoted by President Trump, of a possible COVID-19 cure? So, so, so many questions...

Spacedinvader
Pint

Quinone

So we all just get shit faced on G&Ts while this goes down? Sounds like a plan!

Mine's a pint of the stuff -->

Spacedinvader
Unhappy

Re: Echo chamber aside

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/family-says-21-year-old-british-woman-with-no-underlying-health-issues-died-from-coronavirus

Young, female and healthy...

Rotherwood Healthcare AWS bucket security fail left elderly patients' DNR choices freely readable online

Spacedinvader
Joke

If it had random capitalised words throughout I'd have said Google translate was bombastic bob...

Don't break your swanky new Motorola Razr, you probably won't be able to get it fixed

Spacedinvader
Headmaster

Re: I wish they brought back the original V3i RAZR

"shirt pocket compatible"

Rub the nip right off you

--->

face when nip is sore

Microsoft ups the ante with fix-fixing patch that leaves some Windows Server 2008 machines unable to boot

Spacedinvader
FAIL

Re: MS wants us to move on...

"it's not available for mere mortals" and "disable telemetry almost completely"

So we can't get it and it still slurps? Shadow System's comment stands.

Day 4 of outage: UK's Manchester police deploy exciting new carbon-based method to record crime

Spacedinvader
Devil

Never trust a copper with a pencil

Notes can be rubbed out...

This AI is full of holes: Brit council fixes thousands of road cracks spotted by algorithm using sat snaps

Spacedinvader
Unhappy

Re: "saving more than £1m in taxpayer cash compared to more traditional methods"

They're supposed to and guarantee the work for 2 years...

We need to make it even easier for UK terror cops to rummage about in folks' phones, says govt lawyer

Spacedinvader
Facepalm

Re: Wipe Password

Not so great if you are being held i n said police station...

The dream of a single European patent may die next month – and everyone is in denial about it

Spacedinvader

Re: Brexit voters will be happy

"they dislike foreigners, which mean they're racist." Nope. Xenophobic.

It's a billion-ton, 14-million-mile long mysterious alien formation – and Earth is heading right into it

Spacedinvader
Thumb Up

Re: Meteor storms are always accompanied by a shit load of fine dust

"imbibing 10 pints which brings its own problems"

Just pee in a bucket...

We strained our eyes with Lenovo's monster monitor: 43.4 inches for price of five 24" screens

Spacedinvader
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Vertical space rules

New keyboard required!

'Peregrine falcon'-style drone swarms could help defend UK against Gatwick copycat attacks

Spacedinvader
WTF?

Re: Spiderman

Superman could just use his frikkin laser eyes instead of Spidey's web slingers...

Hard luck, Claranet. You managed to go 29 whole days without an incident

Spacedinvader
Happy

A clusterfuck then

Ebuygumm doesn't break t' Nominet rules, eBay and Gumtree told

Spacedinvader
Thumb Up

Re: In a complete about face...

Beat me to it!

We asked for your Fitbit horror stories and, oh wow, did you deliver: Readers sync their teeth into 'junk' gizmos

Spacedinvader
Happy

Cheaper still..

Would be the inbuilt health tracker they have...

Harvard freshman kicked out of US over OTHER people's posts on his social media

Spacedinvader
Stop

Re: So to gain entry into America you MUST......

Submit to facial recognition software and fingerprinting

One person's harmless japery can be another's night of LaserJet Lego

Spacedinvader
Happy

Re: ORLY?

Nah it's what the Aussies think of it they just couldn't put it on the tinny...

It's Friday lunchtime on International Beer Day. Bitter hop to it, boss'll be none the weiser

Spacedinvader
Pint

Re: 66.5 litres = 117 pints

Weekly allowance :)

Fantastic Mr Fox? Not when he sh*ts on your lawn, kids' trampoline and your soul

Spacedinvader
FAIL

RTFA

This correspondent has used myriad repellents to keep the vermin out of my carefully tended green space, ranging from liberal application of chilli powders to areas they frequent, to lion poo

It's so hot, UK needs to start naming heatwaves like we do when it's a bit windy – climate boffins

Spacedinvader
Pint

Roasting Rodger

Fnarr!

Tip for staying cool --->

'Cockwomble' is off the menu: Uncle Bulgaria issues edict against using name in vain

Spacedinvader
Thumb Up

Re: Phwoar. Katie Hopkins!

Also, check out Specsavers...

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean Google isn't listening to everything you say

Spacedinvader
Happy

why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can

Guy is booted out of IT amid outsourcing, wipes databases, deletes emails... goes straight to jail for two-plus years

Spacedinvader

Re: Silly man

Sounds like you are speaking from experience...

Oh good. This'll go well. Amazon's Alexa will offer NHS advice

Spacedinvader
Trollface

They've had a data breach already?

"Customer trust is of the upmost importance, and Amazon take privacy seriously."

Amazon: Carbon emissions from our Australian bit barns aren't for public viewing

Spacedinvader
Happy

Re: Any laws being broken?

"perhaps heat can cause gold"

It can...if you 'splode a star...

Reach out for the healing hands... of guru Dabbs

Spacedinvader
Happy

Re: Ah, you have "the glare"...

No glare here. Literally get called over to just stand there. 90% of the time I don't even look at the offending machine. The other 10%? I don't even reach the users desk before the damn thing starts working normally.

"Must've been the threat of you coming over!"

Microsoft has Windows 1.0 retrogasm: Remember when Windows ran in kilobytes, not gigabytes?

Spacedinvader
Happy

Re: I did that...

Yep

Spacedinvader
Trollface

I did that...

by rolling the OS back to 7

I got 502 problems, and Cloudflare sure is one: Outage interrupts your El Reg-reading pleasure for almost half an hour

Spacedinvader
Trollface

Is El Reg

pondering if maybe they depend on its services just a little too much?

Iran's blame-it-on-Bitcoin 'leccy shortage probably isn't a US hack cover story... yet

Spacedinvader
Flame

I certainly wouldn't run dishwashers, washing machines or anything else with a high power draw while I slept. Apart from the noise;

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-48841038

https://www.cheshirefire.gov.uk/public-safety/home-safety/washing-machine-and-dishwasher-fire-safety

2001: Linux is cancer, says Microsoft. 2019: Hey friends, ah, can we join the official linux-distros mailing list, plz?

Spacedinvader
Happy

Could be interesting

Mr Torvald's next rant that is...

Comms room, comms room, comms room is on fire – we don't need no water, let the engineer burn

Spacedinvader
Flame

Re: And then some fool fills up a car with Li-ion...

Drop a lit cigarette on a petrol spill and it will go out. I know, I've done it. Movies suck :(

A $4bn biz without a live product just broke the record for the amount paid for a domain name. WTF is going on?

Spacedinvader
Happy

Scotland. Just got my first gov ID (driving license), I'm 38. Have ft job, rent my flat, have utilities, bank acc (just took out a loan), made high value purchase (spending said load), mobile contract, broadband, all without a gov ID...

When customers see red, sometimes the obvious solution will only fan the flames

Spacedinvader
FAIL

Go to the users desk

"random lines were appearing on the website for a customer"

Yeah, just nip along to the users desk, in Auchtermuchty (wear the fox hat?) ...

These boffins' deepfake AI vids are next-gen. But don't take our word for it. Why not ask Zuck or Kim Kardashian...

Spacedinvader
Thumb Up

Comment of the week needs to come back!

Oblivious 'influencers' work on 3.6-roentgen tans in Chernobyl after realising TV show based on real nuclear TITSUP

Spacedinvader
WTF?

iPhone?

Are you commenting on the correct article? Or just being offended for offended sake?

Apple strips clips of WWDC devs booing that $999 monitor stand from the web using copyright claims. Fear not, you can listen again here...

Spacedinvader
Happy

Rectangle with rounded corners?

Think they have it covered!

Spacedinvader
Stop

Re: Streisand Effect

Not selecting the text and searching the internet isn't...

Strewth: Hackers slurp 19 years of Oz student data in uni's second breach within a year

Spacedinvader
WTF?

Seriously...

"ANU said it had "been working in partnership with Australian government agencies for several months" to fend off the attack."

Pull the fucking network cable out!

Malware spotted doing unspeakable, filthy things to infected Macs – injecting Bing results into Google searches

Spacedinvader
Trollface

So THIS is how Bing is used in 34% of searches

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/06/04/microsoft_bing_is_10/

:D

Musk loves his Starlink sat constellation – but astroboffins are less than dazzled by them

Spacedinvader
Happy

Re: Debunked?

12,200. Not had coffee yet?

Mozilla returns crypto-signed website packaging spec to sender – yes, it's Google

Spacedinvader
Meh

Re: Web, the new desktop...

They could just right click - open with - word...

Chinese bogeyman gets Huawei with featuring in EE's 5G network launch thanks to bumbling BBC

Spacedinvader
WTF?

Bit steep

10GB for £54 a month? Currently get 100GB 4G for £20 (100GB rolls over if not used)...

Senator: US govt staff may be sending their smartphone web traffic 'wrapped in a bow' to Russia, China via VPNs

Spacedinvader
Facepalm

Re: It's not really surprising.

That one? --->

Intel unveils Project Athena: Chipzilla tells lappy makers how to build their own kit

Spacedinvader
Thumb Up

Was my thought too...

As I do the very thing myself! It's also very easy to do...

Page:

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020