* Posts by Ahab Returns

36 publicly visible posts • joined 31 Jul 2014

Musk bans private-plane-tracking @Elonjet on Twitter, threatens legal action

Ahab Returns

Unfortunately Musky has surrounded himself with sycophants, nobody want's to tell the Emperor that he is a swivel eyed loony, mainly because he is paying their mortgages.

GM's Cruise revises self-driving software after San Francisco crash

Ahab Returns

Wait 'till your AV is 10 years old with flaky wiring and sensors going out.

Tesla owner gets key fob chip implanted in his hand

Ahab Returns

Better solution

Just get an old car nobody wants to steal. I would be worried about having my hands cut off by the perp trying to half inch my jam-jar.

Bad news, older tech workers: Job advert language works against you

Ahab Returns

Re: Don't know about that

"There is a commonly stated “rule” of grammar that beginning a sentence with and, or any other conjunction, is a mistake. But this is just not true. This supposed “rule” has no basis in actual writing, and even formal writing features plenty of sentences that start with and and other conjunctions. "

Dictionary.com, so it much be true.

Not enough desks and parking spots, wobbly Wi-Fi: Welcome back to the office, Tesla staff

Ahab Returns


It seems we humans have only two corporate world settings. Hero worshipping the Jesus character and laying down our lives for them, or management by committee leading to British Leyland syndrome (look it up kids, we once had our own 'Auto' business, well, of sorts).

Halfords suffers a puncture in the customer details department

Ahab Returns

My MOT man charges full whack £55 roughly (I forget how much it is these days - or I choose to forget) but he gets my business because he is through, honest and knows my spannering abilities. Same place for 30 years and in a five car family that's good wedge of moolah - more than I've ever spent on buying a car, that's for sure!

EU lawmakers vote to ban sales of combustion engine cars from 2035

Ahab Returns

Diesel and Petrol products are still going to be available after 2035 and even when they are finally pensioned off my Series 3 will merrily glug down veggie oil (currently £1.30 a litre round these country parts). In fact I'll be long dead by the time the dino juice goes bye-bye.

Don't hate on cryptomining, hate the power stations, say Bitcoin super-fans

Ahab Returns

Here's an idea. How about we make some sort of physical token, maybe call it 'coin' or 'note' and distribute it to people so they can pay for things over and over again, without having to make more coin or note (apart from periodically when the old stuff gets destroyed or lost).

Ford to sell unfinished Explorers as chip shortage bites

Ahab Returns

Re: liking the new normal

I thought people were joking about that. I need to go and lie down - the stupidity of Humanity has caused a short circuit and my brain is overheating.

Tesla driver charged with vehicular manslaughter after deadly Autopilot crash

Ahab Returns

I quite like Bosch K-Jet having completely rebuilt a 2.8i version - its just a sort of carb in exploded form. You are right that EFi provides superior performance. I'm old school - I hate power steering (never needed it on my Landrover Series 2a) and even power brakes - my MG never had a brake booster, what am, some feeble wuss? ;-)

HMRC tool for measuring IR35 status is so great, employers are ditching it in their droves

Ahab Returns

Re: Parasol have gone bang after being hacked


BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.

Ahab Returns

Re: Testing 1 2 3

Nissen huts? Luxury....

US road safety watchdog decides against probe into Tesla battery fires

Ahab Returns

Indeed, highly, but that doesn't mean we should accept batteries or charging points that are unsafe.

Chinese state media describes gaming as 'spiritual opium' that stunts education and destroys families

Ahab Returns

Re: It didn't help my studies much either

Studied at school 50 years ago, lots of people know about the opium wars - gandalfcn - are you a Chinese spam bot by any chance?

Airline software super-bug: Flight loads miscalculated because women using 'Miss' were treated as children

Ahab Returns

Re: Not necessarily.

And they are only the 20th fattest nation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index

UK government review of IR35 tax reforms? Like a broken pencil, say contractors groups – it'll be utterly pointless

Ahab Returns

Re: It's over....

Chip getting a bit heavy there? Try moving it to a different shoulder, might help you balance a bit better.

Most IT contractors want employment benefits if clobbered with IR35

Ahab Returns

Ah you mean your client's CEO of course ;-)

Excuse me, but have you heard the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Chr-AI-st?

Ahab Returns

Religion eh? You couldn't make it up.

Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control

Ahab Returns

Re: Here's an idea!

Spooky - I was out in my Spridget yesterday and the throttle cable jammed approaching a roundabout. I fumbled for the key whilst braking and dumping the clutch and the bugger fell into the passenger side, with the engine still revving it's nuts off.

Fortunately I also have a rudimentary kill switch wired into the circuit so searching the dank, dark depths beneath the dash was not required.

Uber robo-ride's deadly crash: Self-driving car had emergency braking switched off by design

Ahab Returns

Sensors and electrickery may work when it is brand spanking new, but what happens when it is ten years old and getting an annual MOT, maybe?

My three 12 year old cars regularly throw up sensor faults, from oxygen sniffers to ABS - what do we do when the "don't run over that kid on the crossing" sensors go bad?

My 45 year old car has zero sensors (it only has a dozen or so wires) and no airbags. I really concentrate when driving that. Oh, and it is far more reliable than any of my moderns (or my neighbours brand new BMW that cost more than my first house).

MacBook Pro petition begs Apple for total recall of krap keyboards

Ahab Returns

Re: Issue 1 of a comic

Another vote for Asus. I've got a couple I use pretty much daily (and all day) for testing. Two years old, one Windows 8.1, one Linux. I also have a MacBook pro but apart from the nice display I don't get what the fuss is about.

I've never taken one apart, but the iPads I've tried to repair in the past resembled cheap cigarette cases with components randomly glued in place. By contract, my Nexus had all the components nicely mounted on a little aluminium chassis.

I'm from the sixties so I expect stuff to last.

eBay has locked me into undeletable Catch-22 trap, complains biz bod

Ahab Returns

Re: Bollocks.

Exactly the same thing here.

Listed a printer three times last month and every time a massive bid from a zero feedback account that was deleted minutes later. My guess is dodgy dealers who don't want "their" customers getting a bargain.

As long as Ebay stops zero feedback bid blocking this is going to continue. Ebay needs to change or expire gracefully.

I eventually sold it through Gumtree.

IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

Ahab Returns

Re: 20W50

Still fit it to my 45 year old MG - mind you, it does seem to come out of every orifice known to the A series. I wonder if there is a 50W50?

80-year-old cyclist killed in prang with Tesla Model S

Ahab Returns

Re: The Man Who Fell To Earth

"The Tesla S 90D is an expensive sports car." This is a saloon car (or a Sports Saloon if you prefer).

Tesla used to market a rather nice sports car but I don't think they sell it anymore.

Not all sports cars are fast (mine is 45 years old won't even get close to 100mph) and there is nothing to indicate that this vehicle was being driven at excessive speed, nor that the cyclist didn't have a heart attack and fall beneath the wheels of the car, unless you have information beyond that provided here and elsewhere of course?

Landlubber northern council shores up against boat-tipping

Ahab Returns

Doncaster? Don't they mean Hull?

80% of IT projects in public sector delayed due to IR35 – report

Ahab Returns

So go contracting if it's that brilliant.

IBM: Remote working is great! ... For everyone except us

Ahab Returns

Good Managers

Understand that techies are often more productive outside the office. Noise, meetings and general distractions don't make for productive coders in my experience.

UK.gov job ads entice IT bods with promise they will be OUTSIDE IR35

Ahab Returns

Re: What?

Aha, but as a self employed person operating via a Ltd. company (supplier), that individual's company (or rather insurers) may end up paying millions of quids in compensation, should the "worker" drop a bollock.

Dieting cannibals: At last, a scientist has calculated calories for human body parts

Ahab Returns

I wonder if Vegetarians and/or Vegans would have fewer calories than we carnivores?

Certainly, it would be useful to know the eating habits of the food source, simply as part of the selection process (unless you can have a veggie cannibal of course).

Irish Stripe techie denied entry to US – for having wrong stamp in passport

Ahab Returns

Similar experience first time I visited New York - they wouldn't accept England or Great Britain as a place, and when I wrote "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" they thought I was taking the piss.

Its a bit like the visa form that asks if you have ever been a terrorist - what the fuck do they expect you to write? I fear the same pen pushing, hat wearing, goose stepping idiots are gradually taking control of Brexit Britain. Welcome to the "UK", please check your brain in with security and collect it on your way out.

And now it's raining - God I need to get out of here!

Should Computer Misuse Act offences committed in UK be prosecuted in UK?

Ahab Returns

Re: A historian writes...

As I understand it, and I date from when the map of the world was one quarter pink so I may be wrong or senile or both, take your pick, Britain is the Roman name for what we call England and Wales, so yes, Britain does exist.

Great Britain would indeed cease to exist if if Scotland left the union (England, Wales and Scotland), but the United Kingdom would remain, minus the "Scotland" bit, as The United Kingdom of England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Scotland would remain part of the British Isles, as indeed is Eire.

Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot

Ahab Returns

I remember, back in the day, seeing people driving in fog, their sat nav glowing a foot away from their faces in the centre of the screen - doing 80 mph. Meanwhile we proles, devoid of the mighty Sat Nav, had to stick to sub 30 mph.

The greatest tech in the universe would be hard pressed to save the stupid from themselves. I am firmly in the no thanks, I'll stay a Luddite brigade when it comes to driving.

Samsung's little black box will hot-wire your car to the internet. Eek!

Ahab Returns

Re: They day will never come that they are mandated

Surely insurance costs are going to drop if driverless vehicles deliver fewer accidents?

Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

Ahab Returns

Re: The more they push - the harder they will fall

I just built a fresh desktop box for a non-techie relative and Ubuntu was the obvious choice for a peaceful tech support life.

A couple of years back it would have been Windows 7 for me, but now, Ubuntu just works. No half life, no licence fees, no admin user installing nasties and everything they need is Web based.

Sporty in all but name: Peugeot 308 e-THP 110

Ahab Returns

Re Citroen C5 Xantia etc. as an impoverished petrol head I ran BX then Xantia for many years, and then a decade ago I bit the bullet and stumped up for a nearly new 2001 C5 HDi 110.

I am happy to report that having now done 226,000 miles including many being filled with firewood and driven twice a week down 2 km of rough dirt tracks to the sailing club nothing of any significance has gone bang and I can still easily get 60 mpg.

Best £3k I ever spent, and now has a 2006 Peugeot 407 coupe sharing the driveway, similar bargain (£2k) but I will tell you if it is as good as the C5 in ten years time :-)

It isn't just the posh makers that do galvanic coatings and double glazing by the way, and none of the 20 French cars I have owned since the late 70's has ever died on me, unlike pals BMW forced induction diesels that appear to munch their turbos with alarming regularity. Smug mode off...

Robot cars to hit Blighty in 2015

Ahab Returns

"no-one's been seriously hurt or killed by an Austin in years..."

Depends on how you define seriously hurt. My Healey Sprite fell off it's axle stands onto my foot last week, hurts like a bugger and I think that's quite serious.