Posts by Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

Scissors cut paper. Paper wraps rock. Lab-made enzyme eats plastic

Re: PET

I did not know this. Every day's a school day - have an upvote

Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

RE: AC

my advice would be to buy a machine that has a good track record of reliability... for example, more or less anything but acer. I find Lenovo and HP to produce laptops that work and suffer few ill affects from MS updates...

Funny you should say that, but I did steer them towards HP. They'd already found out the hard way that Acer is not the wisest choice. And after suffering that f***ing annoying Yoga advert on the tellybox, I don't feel inclined to say any kind words about Lenovo.

Only yesterday a friend was asking me for advice on selecting a new Windows laptop and keeping it in good running order. Top of my list of advice was to disable Windows updates. For me auto-update is a ticking timebomb....one day a machine is running fine, the next it's BSODed into oblivion because Microsoft have forced it to take an update that the user has managed quite happily without up to now.

The first rule of maths class: Don't start a fight club

There was a teacher at my high school who took some delight in arranging fights *with* the kids (I say "kids" - they were 15 or so) who fancied themselves as hard cases. He wasn't that big a bloke, but he was an ex Royal Marine, so would just take them around the back of the school and knock 7 shades of s**t out of them.

At the time, we thought he was a bit of a good egg, for putting the school bullies and hardnuts in their place.

In hindsight, he was probably just a bit of a psychopath

Re: Trigonometry

I hope not, Cos that would be a Sin

Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it

Re: The cuckoo clock

The cuckoo clock

Ironically a German invention.

I forget who it was that said it, but somebody said that Germany's two greatest achievements were convincing the world that Beethoven was German and Hitler was Austrian

What most people think it looks like when you change router's admin password, apparently

Re: In parts of Latam, ISP gives Zero / NO access to Router!

Can't comment on this. I always toss the ISP-supplied router and replace with something I've bought myself and which is better than the sort of junk that ISPs pass off as being fit for purpose

Although I've updated the network name, passcode and admin password, I've never updated the firmware on any router. My reasoning is a case of balancing risk of two different events.

Possible event the first - some miscreant finds my router and manages to hack their way into it by exploiting an unpatched vulnerability in the firmware

Possible event the second - I update the firmware in good faith, only to have the router suffer because of some bug in the firmware. When I eventually get back online I read an El Reg article about how the latest firmware from <x> is bricking routers up and down the country.

On balance, I fear well-intentioned vendors more than I fear ill-intentioned hackers.

But that's just me - YMMV

UK defines Cyber DEFCON 1, 2 and 3, though of course doesn't call it that

I never got past the first row in the table. I read as far as the bit that says "co-ordinated cross-government response" and then started laughing so hard that I now can't read through the tears.

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

Re: A council wonk said:...

Spending a penny to clean off grafitti? Maybe weeing on it will be of some use, but personally I'd recommend some sort of detergent or spirit-based solvent

Facebook admits: Apps were given users' permission to go into their inboxes

What baffles me about the current Facebook news stories is the fact that people have been so oblivious to the fact that Facebook has been offering a service but never asked for a penny in return for using it.

On offer is a website that allows you to connect with people and share information, and you can use it for free....and you never question how the service provider is covering their costs

While you're using it, adverts appear which are quite closely matched to your personal interests....and you never suspect that your personal data might be being exploited for the advertisers' benefit.

And now it's suddenly "Shock! Horror! Sensation! OMGWTFBBQ! Facebook has been reading my personal data?!?!"

Are there really so many people so stupid not to question the business model behind this before sharing their data?

(for the record, I do use FB myself (a small amount of personal use, but mostly for business). However, I have always been very careful about the level of detail I share and regularly review privacy settings on my account. When I requested my personal data history from FB last week, it was reassuringly light)

Airbus plans beds in passenger plane cargo holds

Re: Glossing a commercial turd

'Even if they paid me I wouldn't spend 17 hours in any airplane in one go, in any class.'

My body clock is dreadful at adjusting to time differences, so even after a four day trip to a distant time zone, I'm still quite badly jetlagged. The one advantage of this is that once I'm on the return flight I can just bung in some earplugs and sleep the vast majority of the journey away.

Company insiders behind 1 in 4 data breaches – study

Re: Comparison

Must admit, if I'd had to guess a percentage, would have been way more than 25% for data breaches

The thing is, data can be copied and if you can do that without anyone noticing, it reasonable to expect that theft not to be counted in the percentages.

If someone hoists a physical box of widgets from the warehouse, there a tangible hole in the inventory that's easy to spot. Bits'n'bytes are all a bit ephemeral...the figures quoted must be more to do with thefts that have been detected (or maybe some speculation like statistically 'x' percent of sysadmins/DBA must be bent).

Comparison

I wonder how the statistics for data theft compare against theft of other types of things, for example how much of a store's inventory gets stolen by light-fingered warehouse staff versus being shoplifted from the shop floor?

Can't view memes on London-Southampton train? It's the worst line for mobile coverage

Re: Where are we going?

That's what I thought as well - ex London Underground 38 stock

IBM swings shrink ray from workforce to mainframes

When I first started in this business I remember a mainframe as being classified as a computer the size of a room, a minicomputer as something the size of a large cupboard or two, and a micro being something small enough to fit on desk. Seeing a mainframe shrunk to the size of a single rack unit makes me realise how far technology has come, and makes me feel rather old.

Apple store besieged by protesters in Paris 'die-in' over tax avoidance

They're not really dead...

...they're just holding onto life wrong

UK 'wife'-carrying champion named

Just so long as it's not a keg, regardless of size

Virgin spaceplane makes maiden rocket-powered flight

Re: Vapourware

How long has the Virgin system been in development? Maybe it needs to reach a certain age before it goes all the way...

Re: Sub orbital

Chocolate mixed with oxygen to form bubbles? That sounds like an Aero engine to me

Shhh! Don’t tell KillBots the UN’s about to debate which ones to ban

RE: Uncertain Conventional Weapons

I think these are used by the perpetrators of disorganised crime.

O2 wolfs down entire 4G spectrum as pals fiddle with their shiny 5G band

"We're pleased with our 5G holdings, which is the most important thing for giving customers what they want on their mobiles."

I can't say I especially want 5G. What I want is availability of the current 4G services (or, in some places I have visited, even a 3G service).

I really wish mobile networks would finish the job properly with implementation of existing technologies before moving on to new ones.

Elon Musk's mighty erection fires sperm at orbiting space station

Is this an April fool?

It sounds like a cock and bull story to me

Floyd Mayweather-endorsed cryptocoin startup knocked out by fraud allegations

Re: Made $32m from thousands from investors

The article refers to investors, but in the context of them being victims. Yes, there was criminality behind this, but I can't help but think of the investors as 'victims' and 'greedy people out to make a quick buck without any real hard work' in equal measure.

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

It's annoying enough when an incorrect word gets through because spellcheck recognises it - it's worse when spellchecker recognises obscenities and allows them through. Due to the proximity of the 'f' and 'g' keys, I once wrote a specification that stated that all data would "be buggered upon receipt and then passed to the relevant component for processing"....no red flags from spellcheck for that, unfortunately.

Re: Names....

I recall that old versions of word always used to flag "jobs" as erroneous. Some reference to the Apple chief not being a friend of MS?

GoDaddy told off for reeling in punters with 'misleading' prices

Re: Maybe we should raise a petiton

Showing annual fees as monthly is standard and not really worth getting wound up about.

It's psychology isn't it? You see a lower number so get drawn in. Somehow the thought that it's a better deal sticks with you even after you've multiplied by 12 to get the annual fee.

A bit like those ads you see offering "all that for just <x> pence per day"...which is actually quite a tidy sum once you multiply by 365.

Manchester Arena attack: National Mutual Aid Telephony system failed

The above prompts the question "why didn't the subcontractor submit a bid to be the primary contractor then?"

In all my experience of contracting and sub-contracting, it's a matter of scope. A subcontractor often has skills in one area, but not the whole piece. Example, prime contractor takes on responsibility for delivering a system/solution - they know a bit about security but are not specialists....so they subcontract the security element to a specialist company who live, eat, sleep & breathe security but who don't have wide enough scope to cover other aspects of the solution, or even have the scale to manage another bunch of subcontractors who do.

Do they happen to do training during normal office hours, when the people supplying the service have enough staff available to support? If something kicks off after 5pm then they could be down to reduced/nightshift workforce who don't have the requisite knowledge, hence the resulting fiasco

I'm not defending the guilty parties here, or saying that the situation is anything other than s**t, but...

The tone in the comments here is that outsourcing is always wrong. Often it's a means of the prime contractor doing something more cheaply but, for the sake of balance, I can think of times when outsourcing is legitimately better. In fact I was talking to a friend of mine just the other day about this.

If I'm something services from someone, I'd like to thing that I'm getting the best things possible in return for my money. If there is a specialist subcontractor who can do something better than the prime, then I'd like to see that aspect of the work subcontracted out.

Example - Cosworth make better engines than Ford, so that's why Ford subcontracted engine manufacture to them for some models of Sierra and Escort. (I fear I may be showing my age with this example)

Bottom line. Subcontracting is not inherently bad. Doing it just to cut corners and save money is. Doing it in order to get a better quality specialist product or service is acceptable.

Software gremlin robs Formula 1 world champ of season's first win

Re: Follows old adage...

Talking about teams having freedom to innovate....which team was it that built a car with a GBFO fan that sucked the car down onto the track? IIRC correctly it totally dominated one race and then the car design was withdrawn because it was seen to be *too* competitive, like bringing a (machine) gun to a knife fight.

Re: Follows old adage...

Tyrell Elf built the 6 wheeler, the P34.

Two of them still around and in working order. If you watch closely, they both make cameo appearances in the Ron Howard movie "Rush".

PwC: More redundos at HQ of UK 'leccy stuff shop Maplin

Re: heads

Yeah, but what about the fate of their bodies?

I assume they'll be given the elbow

UK's data watchdog seizes suspected Scottish nuisance caller's kit

They'll be railing against it

Ex-ZX Spectrum reboot man threatens sueball over unpaid invoices

Re: Sir Clive, where art thou?

A knight coming to the rescue atop his trusty white steed C5.

Prof Stephen Hawking's ashes will be interred alongside Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin

Re: 'Physics ace'

Wheely clever person?

YouTube banned many gun vids, so some moved to smut site

Gun fans exercising their right to bear arms, and pronsters who want to bare all the other parts of their bodies.

Fancy a viaduct? We have a wrought Victorian iron marvel to sell you

Re: Why a duck?

OK, so apart from the aqueducts, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Horn star Sudan, last male northern white rhino, dies aged 45

The obvious answer is to find some way of poisoning the horn in a way that doesn't harm the rhino,

Some wildlife reserves actually cut the horns from the rhinos who seem to be able to copy OK without them. Without the horn in situ, there is no reason for a poacher to point his gun at the beast.

Extinction

I recently read the rather excellent "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari. He says that you can chart primitive mankind's progress around the world by looking at the time that megafauna in that location began to go extinct. Once sapiens moved to a new area, the large easily-hunted megafauna would be hunted at a faster rate than they could reproduce, and be extinct within the course of just a few generations.

Or, put another way, mankind is generally a bit of a s**t.

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

@ Dave K - Re: out of paper!

Reminds me of one of my favourite Dilbert cartoons of all time... http://dilbert.com/strip/2008-06-15.

YouTube plan to use Wikipedia against crackpots hits snag

Re: PooTube had ad revenue?

I'd class myself as a "small time content creator" - uploading a video roughly once per week, and about 1200 subscribers. I can't say I've had any problems with Google not paying up. Ad revenue creeps steadily towards the threshold, and I get a payment straight into my back account.

It's Pi day: Care to stuff a brand new Raspberry one in your wallet?

@Pen-y-gors Re: Dates

A very well put together post - please have a guinea from me for your troubles

Do you really need Gb to "play" with containers. I'd of thought the lack of grunt in the CPU would slow it down enough to worry abut throughput.

That was my initial thought - if you're going to be shunting huge amounts of data around very quickly, you still need something at the end to be able to work with that data, so you become bound by the capacity of the device to process data.

Please, Hammond ... don't hurt 'em: 'Suggestions' time for UK digi tax clampdown

"positively Tigger-like"

A 2-dimensional cartoon character, from a Mickey Mouse organisation? Sounds like a good description of a lot of politicians.

Your entire ID is worth £820 to crooks on dark web black market

Re: How Are They Obtained....

It can be easier for the criminal to find someone on the inside of the security barrier who will obtain the information on their behalf in return for a cash reward. Saves the effort of figuring out how to break through the layers of security, and distances them to a degree from the actual theft.

Given the level of wages in public sector and call centres, I would expect that the financial incentive could be tempting for some.

More importantly how much are myspace logins worth?

The fact that someone has an active MySpace login could be of some value to a crim. Knowing how much a mark does or doesn't embrace technology/trends could be a clue to what else you could harvest for them, how likely they are to spot ID theft straight away, etc.

Compare with the spelling/grammar errors in Nigerian scammer letters. Most people will spot these as evidence that the proposal is fake. Those who are a little more hard of thinking won't...and so may be easier to pull into the scam.

Administrator PwC chops Maplin staff

<sniff> Not a dry joint in the house

Too many bricks in the wall? Lego slashes inventory

I treat the model I buy as something nice to build once, for the interest, then disassemble to fuel my next project

Probably the most succinct description of the spirit of Lego that anyone could come up with - have an upvote