* Posts by JJKing

726 posts • joined 5 Jul 2014

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Dutch spies helped Britain's GCHQ break Argentine crypto during Falklands War

JJKing Silver badge
Flame

A wide open land surrounded by teeth.

Some idiot Congresscritter announced in his local paper after a trip to a decoding station in Melbourne Oz that Our boys down there (it was Oz male and female decryppies) had broken the Japanese code. Japan changed the code within a couple of days of publication and it took them 3 weeks to break the new code. One of the women involved wondered how many troops were killed because some big mouthed idiot couldn't keep his gob shut.

The end really is nigh – for 32-bit Windows 10 on new PCs

JJKing Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: I honestly thought it never existed

I agree. Microsoft has been very backward.

Facebook to surround all of Africa in optical fibre and tinfoil

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: My gast is well and truly flabbered

I hope this cable doesn't get connected to all those Nigerian princes and banks that are full of dead peoples money. I've had enough emails from them in this lifetime thanks.

JJKing Silver badge
Boffin

Re: someone explaining

Why not ask the Orange Idiot at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. After all, he knows everything about everything.

JJKing Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Can someone explain?

I am sure there are some unemployed ex-SAS operators that would like an all expenses paid PLUS all the pirates you can shoot ocean cruise.

Late $440m Christmas present for HP: Judge triples damages windfall from Quanta in CD-ROM drive price-fix showdown

JJKing Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: When does HP reimburse its customers?

If 100% markup is fair; then HP should give every customer $30.

An HP Server in 1999 had a floppy drive fail a couple of months out of warranty. HP wanted $160 for a replacement floppy drive. I supplied a standard drive for $25 retail. I think HPs markup is slightly more than 100%.

And now for this evening's space weather report. We've got a hotspot of satellite-wrecking 'killer electrons' in the outer Van Allen belt...

JJKing Silver badge
Pint

Reward for each Killer Electron caught and jailed. -------->

First job for the new US Space Force is to apprehend all those killer electrons. We really can't tolerate those violent electrons anywhere near our <sarcasm on>law abiding planet.</sarcasm off>

OK. We're off. Water ice found just below the surface of Mars. Good enough for us. Let's go. Impulse power, Mr Sulu

JJKing Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Yay! A reason to go there...

Night life may suck a bit.

Yes, but think of the serenity.......ah the serenity.

JJKing Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Another study, another watery flip-flop

They were also so technologically backwards

But, but.....but, they invaded Earth in 1938. I mean it was on the radio so it must have been true. Guess they must have come after our pizza so they could travel to distant worlds.

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Long term solution...

She has hundreds of Trojans, too

NO, no, no, not ever, never, no and bloody *N*O*. In case I was not clear: *NO*!

Those Trojans will result in a lot fewer babies being born on Mars and that is not a good thing.

JJKing Silver badge

Re: Would a shovel...

No need for nukes, steam would suffice.

I believe John Carter could best answer that question. He after all has been there for a few years now.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Don't delay, buy them today.

Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Orange Whips all 'round!

I believe the Mistress of the Moon is selling those.

JJKing Silver badge
Coat

Question?

Are Necrophiliacs any relation to the Necromongers or are we due for a deadly clash of uncivilisations?

I will leave before I get dead bored.

JJKing Silver badge
Pint

Re: Mars.

Oh man, what a nice bit of alliteration. Very impressive.

JJKing Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: A very nice bit of image analysis by NASA folk and the MRO gang

Thanks for that URL Martin but does Mars really spin on a vertical axis? If it does then that would make it easier for me to walk in a straight line unlike her on Earth with its 23.5° tilt that causes me to walk funny. Life is not easy being D'Under.

JJKing Silver badge

Re: Brought to you by Elon

Apologies Kabukiwookie, I posted before I saw yours.

JJKing Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Brought to you by Elon

the chances of anything coming from Mars ..

But some guy called Terry said million to one events happen nine times out of ten. eek!

JJKing Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Brought to you by Elon

HelpfulJohn, I'll come with you. The reduced gravity will help reduce the pain from the 4 crushed discs in my back. Will work for food and a radiation proof tent.

JJKing Silver badge
Coat

Re: Brought to you by Elon

“The Moon is a Harsh Mistress”

What.........she like to spank astronauts?

Mine's the one with the RedTube URL in the pocket.

Iran says it staved off cyber attack but doesn't blame US

JJKing Silver badge
Happy

Au contraire mon Capitan.

Well, unplugging from the Internet and taping over your USB ports is just about the most absolute defence you can have.

There FTFY.

Space Force is go, go, go! Because we have a child as President of the United States

JJKing Silver badge
Meh

Re: Wow.

despite half his head being shot away.

They could shoot the Orange Idiot right between his eyes and still miss his brain by a good 6 or 7 feet.

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Did he mix Fox up with the Sci-Fi network a few times?

Will the first ship commissioned be called "War Rocket Ajax"?

Yes, and it will go forth and clean up the approaching alien forces.

JJKing Silver badge
Angel

Re: Did he mix Fox up with the Sci-Fi network a few times?

Maybe they will call them Shlasers since they are likely to be very small sharks with lasers mounted on their heads.

JJKing Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: It Is With Such Baubles That Men Are Led.

Build the wall along the southern border

Then build one along the northern boarder

Then build one down each coast

Assuming no holes or leaks, we can now fill it with water. There, the World saved.

Sorry SB, didn't see yours was first.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Uranus or bust

Oh the pain, the pain!

Space-wrecks: Elon's prototype Moon ferry Starship blows its top during fuel tank test

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: "anomaly"

And hope he doesn't blow his top....

I imagine he gets blown quite often........lucky bastard!

The silence of the racks is deafening, production gear has gone dark – so which wire do we cut?

JJKing Silver badge
Go

Re: "in case the labels caused confusion"

Re cables, I just had several rolls of different electrical tape and a chart stating what each colour was. We didn't have a label machine so the tape was the next best thing. One of the best presents I was given many years ago was a LapLink cable and the whole thing was coloured yellow. It was easier to locate than even the tape coloured one.

Didn't know the University of Woolloomooloo had an engineering department

Is it staffed by guys called Bruce?

When the IT department speaks, users listen. Or face the consequences

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Beautiful

I've been electrocuted hundreds of times,

I grew up on a farm at the bottom of the South Island and I can only say, "Bloody electric fences".

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Beautiful

Don't forget this was the day when you could enter a password and log in to the machine using the password, or click "cancel" on the login in prompt and log in to the same machine without using the password

You could then go to the Windows folder, delete the .PWL file and reset their password. Hehehehe

Security? We've heard of it! But why be a party pooper when there's printing to be done

JJKing Silver badge
FAIL

Bloody Micro$oft

exceed the 15 - 16 character maximum that Microsoft allows!

When I created my TechNet account in 1999, I tired using a very secure password (would still be reasonably secure now) but it kept being rejected. Took a while but I finally figured out that if you kept the password to 8 characters or less then it would accept it. Guess Mirodorks haven't changed.

JJKing Silver badge
Happy

Re: One rule for you...

So LockPickingLawyer , that is how you got started.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: One rule for you...

but the ceiling tiles could be pushed open and access gained

The house that I live in used to live in is like that.

IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Mmmm

must work flawlessly each month, or they'd go on work to rule and there would be riots in prisons all around the country!

So no pressure then.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: On Call

It’s quite a fun pub game to try and invent the worst possible phonetic alphabet.

Maybe it was on the Goons or the Navy Lark but there was the Cockney alphabet. The only three that I remember were:

A is for horses

B(ee) for tea (need to say that one quick)

C is for swimming in

JJKing Silver badge
Alert

Re: Where were you 20 years ago?

20 years ago I was physically running between classrooms rolling out computers in catholic schools. All they had was a Server (NT4.0) and Win98 boxes joined to the Domain. ALL software needed to be installed, user accounts created, email accounts created. All servers had a 2GB FAT32 and 2GB NTFS partition with ZERO network storage capacity. Most had 14 tray CD towers with a drive mapped to each tray so Office 97 could be deployed and Encarta 98 gave the students research ability because a 64k ISDN line was of so inadequate for online access.

There was no deployment software (tight fisted bastards wouldn't purchase Ghost 5) so each machine had to be individually installed and configured. The company I worked for provided each school with 3.5 hours per fortnight irrespective of whether they had 10 machines in one or 180 in my largest one. I personally looked after 850 desktops, 120ish laptops, 100+ printers, 41 Servers (each school had an Admin and Curriculum Domain), 40+ 3Com (pieces of crap) SuperStack II switches that would take 6 weeks to replace even if they were DOA. One of the schools had 4 of those demon switches and I had 5 (not a typo) of them replaced in a 4 year period. In fact all 16 of my then schools had at least one switch fail in the first year of operation.

Twenty years ago was a very exhausting time for me.

You'e yping i wong: macOS Catalina stops Twitter desktop app from accepting B, L, M, R, and T in passwords

JJKing Silver badge
Linux

Re: Apple's Annual PC OS "Upgrade" Cycle

Obviously neither should happen after an update, but if I was forced to have a choice, I know which one I would pick

Err, would that choice be a Linux flavour? :-)

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Steve Jobs

I guess a visit from "Call me Tim" just doesn't carry the same, ahem, motivational gravitas.

I imagine he just might offer to pick up your bollocks for you.

JJKing Silver badge

Only if your password is your name.

Isn't that a line from the movie Sneakers?

Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?

JJKing Silver badge
Trollface

Re: PEBBAP

single line printer - very fast, very noisy

Wasn't an Oki was it as I remember the 9 pin dot matrix ones being oh so noisy.

My brother worked in a place that had a line printer. I was told if the "catching tray" was removed, the paper shot up 12 feet into the air. 12 may have been an exaggeration but even 3 or 4 feet would have been impressive. 1200 lines a minute was the print rate if my memory serves me correctly (but I have doubts these days.

JJKing Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Been there...

I thought this was worth watching and surprisingly refreshing..........for the machine.

Waterboarding a laptop

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work

JJKing Silver badge
Unhappy

Deceptive smells.

Was walking, along with a teacher, past a row of computers in a school. I stopped and said I can smell bakerlite and thinking a PSU may have had a very hot power IC, I started sniffing for the offending machine before the PSU went BANG and possibly caused some damage. Teacher pulled me aside out of students hearing and said one of the students (about 8 or 9 years old) had parents who were VERY heavy smokers and what I smelt was the poor boys clothes. Poor little bugger and seemed like such a nice kid.

Republican senators shoot down a triple whammy of proposed election security laws

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Honesty? NOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm M-E-L-T-I-N-G!

imagine the consternation among the congresscritters

Remind me again which House actually voted on the Bill and forwarded it to the "House of Denial" aka the Senate.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Totally correct.

Reality is that people vote for parties, often blindly, at all levels.

I have always voted for the Unicorn Party because my parents did and their parents did and so did theirs.

Just to move to the other side of the Pond now. There was some Republican guy (sorry, too hard to narrow down) who was accused of sexual assault but republicans were told to vote for him on the basis that he was a Republican. Didn't matter that he was the scum of the earth but that he was a Republican party member.

JJKing Silver badge

Re: BWAHAHAHA

In Britain we have the Advertising Standards Agency, which does indeed insist on truth in advertising.

Well that worked so well on the £350 Million sign on the big red brexit bus.

(Yes, I do realise brexit was not an election but still it was a very divisive lie for such a massively important referendum that effected everyone in the United Kingdom).

'We go back to the Moon to stay': Apollo vets not too chuffed with NASA's new rush to the regolith

JJKing Silver badge
Flame

I want money. That's what I want; according to the Flying Lizzards.

So I take it you don't think any of these things ever helped anyone:

Artificial Limbs

Water Purifiers

Adjustable Smoke Detectors

etc

etc

The same new technologies are being created on the ISS. Is that a waste of $$$Billions as well?

The world can't find the money to stave off starvation or ways to provide clean drinking water but there is always, ALWAYS enough money for making weapons that destroy people's homes and kill the citizens of countries you have a political or religious dislike for.

Second MoD Airbus Zephyr spy drone crashes on Aussie test flight

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Needs to be renamed.

With the brilliant failure rate of two out of two crashed, I think it should be called MissHAPS.

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

JJKing Silver badge
Thumb Up

Need that.

I wish I had a keyboard that could type like a giggling little school boy. Need that Monday laugh; Thank You!

When the satellite network has literally gone glacial, it's vital you snow your enemy

JJKing Silver badge
Coat

Re: Satellite in the 90's

The ISP didn't believe us till we sent them some photos...

Did they tell you then that you had something to crow about?

I'm leaving before Alfred Hitchcock makes his usual cameo.

JJKing Silver badge
Coat

Re: LOL

Must have have been a powerful laser.

Please, please, please tell me that these lasers were attached to shark's heads (or even an agitated bass with attitude).

Mine's the one with Mini Me in the left hand pocket and a henchman's eye patch in the right one.

JJKing Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: LOL

Freudian. Shurely

Und tell me, vhat zort off dreams do you haff about your Muzzer?

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