Posts by Fungus Bob

Australia considers mass herpes release for population control

Re: Close your eyes and make a wish

OK, I was wrong.

Gonna have nightmares after looking at that pic, tho...

Re: Close your eyes and make a wish

"I'll believe Donald Trump is a mammal when I've seen him dissected."

The thing on top of his head is a mammal. Probably.

NASA photos: Dawn's December deep-dive haul arrives on Earth

Re: Sigh!

The USA on March 17th.

Imation sells off the family jewels

Re: weasels

"nobody has bothered to paint over the sign on the side of I-694 yet. actually, a bulldozer would be more like it, and could be finished and back on the hauler in an hour. just the kind of thing investment weasels would be pleased to do."

The Clinton Group is unaware of the sign as that information is on a floppy with CRC errors. Besides, it's colder than a titch's wit this week, why make some poor bulldozer driver suffer?

Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Re: There is no “safe drinking level”

There is no safe drinking level for mercury.

For beer the safe drinking level is anything that doesn't make you shit your pants while passed out.

American cable giants go bananas after FCC slams broadband rollout

Re: It's an anti-terrorism measure...

Not only that, it keeps teenagers from looking at internet porn as only adults have the patience to wait for it to load...

El Reg picked a pack of ace pic-titlers

"MORE VOLTAGE!! I NEED MORE VOLTAGE!!"

Apple swallows 7 year mobile patent payments deal from Ericsson

"So, those weren't *your* rounded corners Samsung copied?"

Nope. At this stage of my life I more closely resemble a spherical cow than anything with corners...

Apple can afford it now that Samsung is paying for rounded corners.

Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

Re: Ah joke wallpaper ...

"Not as good as the joke BSOD screensaver I used to run ..."

Ah, yes, that one got me in trouble with the wife - her response when I explained it to her was "WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE THINK THAT'S FUNNY?!"

Wasn't even my fault, damn thing was part of the default Red Hat install back around 2001.

GOP senators push FCC to kill support for local broadband

Re: But but but capitalism works........

No it doesn't. Worstall is no longer here.

IBM places Watson's IoT brains in Munich

Re: Complete with Munich Palm Tree

It's the Xmas season - "Huawei in a manger..."

Someone else has to come up with the next line.

Help! What does 'personal conduct unrelated to operations or financials' mean?

Re: ???

"Are you allowed to sack somebody for something that seems to have had no relevance to the company?"

It was the incident involving three goats and lacquer...

Kids' TV show Rainbow in homosexual agenda shocker

Re: Completely OT

"God I don't half fancy Emma Thompson.

OT I know, but I needed to share."

So you're sharing the half you don't fancy? OK, I'll take it!

US government pushing again on encryption bypass

The flaw in your argument is that you assume there is any Logic or Reason involved in the drone strikes.

Microsoft pitches lobotomized Cortana for iOS, Android handsets

Yeah, but this is Microsoft we're talkin' 'bout here. Those restrictions that are negligible to most are well nigh insurmountable to MS.

Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

@Mark 85 Re: @Fungus Bob -- The guy is the hard-core Democrat's dream.

Ah, I see you are an Optimist...

Re: The guy is the hard-core Democrat's dream.

"The Republican party has been rotting from the inside for years, and Trump seems determined to blow the bloated carcass into tiny bits."

The Democratic party is no better. Both parties are best thought of as two heads on the same beast. A beast that does what it's wealthy supporters want.

Boffins teach cars to listen for the sound of a wet road

Re: the sound of black ice on the road

"SHIIIIIT!"

Mincing Nokia's factories made Microsoft a sausage factory

Re: " Unlucky for ham-beasts, the fugly, munters, and the grizzled, so that's me out."

You're doing something wrong, Ledswinger. I have no trouble getting hired as people think anyone showing up for a job interview looking as horseshit as me _must_ be good.

Microsoft Windows: The Next 30 Years

Re: @ jake (Who colonized Japan?)

Yep, that worked out real well for us, too.

Randall Munroe spoke to The Reg again. We're habit-forming that way

Obligatory Youtube...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-a8TG-1gWY

Google takedown requests mushroom as copyright holders play whack-a-mole

Dammit, El Reg, use a different photo!

How dare you associate the sadly-missed-and-loved-by-Old-Farts Gopher protocol with copyright Whack-A-Mole!

Superfish 2.0: Dell ships laptops, PCs with huge internet security hole

This is why you should format the hard drive and install <your favorite OS> as soon as you get your shiny new PC home.

Love your IoT gadget but could you keep the noise down?

Re: Breakout areas!

Works for me.

Apple's Faulty Powers moment: iPad Pro slabs 'temporarily bricked' during recharge

Re: @englishr

"Bringing up the rear would be arseticated"

D'OH!!!

Re: "temporarily bricked"?

And, bringing up the rear, we have Busticated.

Prudish Indian censors cut James Bond Spectre snogging scenes

Re: Melonfarmer

I, to, like the TV version. Especially the vended food scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzD8RHkrq_4

'Shut down the parts of internet used by Islamic State masterminds'

Slugs 'n' Grubs

That's all you find in DC now.

Google, didn't you get the memo? Stop trying to make Google+ happen

Re: They did their dash with me

"So I guess I'll go with the one that doesn't charge me to spy on me? Least shit option of a bunch of really not very appealing options."

There is always Option 4, Trevor - build a fire in the back yard, cook a chunk of dead cow over it and invite some friends. And have beer. There must be beer.

Shit! Just remembered Google has spy satellites too, I guess there is no Option 4...

US govt just can't hire enough cyber-Sherlocks

Re: So who do they have?

I'm guessing a "DOS For Dummies" book in a bottom desk drawer.

Slovakians seek funds for battling drone squadron

Somebody set up us the bomb!

All your Drone n Base are belong to us

You have no chance to survive make your time

US military readies drone submarine hunter

Re: WTF, ok i may be a little late to the party but !!!

"my super military grade calculator still comes nowhere near ....."

Did you factor in the toilet seats? A manned vessel will need a lot of crappers and toilet seats cost the US military around $700 apiece.

Re: This is a game changer

gerdesj, you really ought to be fined or spanked with a piece of wainscotting or something for using the term "game changer".

Stoned train in multi-million-dollar wreck

Re: Why?

"I can't imagine what would posses a person to steal a train?"

I can. This sort of thing is done by the same people who think driving a speedboat off the barn roof is fun.

UK government looks to harness the potential of open data through APIs

Re: Reg owes me money...

Sadly, this version is no longer supported. And it rusted shut.

Re: Reg owes me money...

My Buzzwordometer is so old it runs on kerosene...

Top FBI lawyer: You win, we've given up on encryption backdoors

Re: 4BillG

STOP CALLING ME SHIRLEY!

TPP: 'Scary' US-Pacific trade deal published – you're going to freak out when you read it

Re: Jingo

Looks like this thing has set several commentard's Jingo-Bells ringing...

Linus Torvalds targeted by honeytraps, claims Eric S. Raymond

Old Vulcan Proverb

Only Linus could say "Fuck You!" to Nvidia.

Biggest problem with virtual reality: It can be a little too real for people

Re: Please use English.

He did use English. Used and degraded it

UK cyber-spy law takes Snowden's revelations of mass surveillance – and sets them in stone

Re: Probably for the better

"If they could arrest for the contents of minds..."

If they were to attempt to read my mind they'd go blind. The screams would be incredible.

Is the world ready for a bare-metal OS/2 rebirth?

Re: Pity

Looks like 11 people here like OS/2.

Or don't remember IBM's horrible marketing...

Re: Pity

Hey, its OK - OS/2 will obliterate your hard drive.

China's glorious five year plan will see 'online environment cleaned up'

Re: We could do with that ...

" we could have a map showing serious pollution"

Be careful what you wish for. Accurate measurement of the brain-fart you released could end up having your head declared a Superfund* Site.

*For our Yurpeen friends:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superfund

Music lovers move to block Phil Collins' rebirth

Re: Quite

"There is no such thing as good or bad music, its purely a matter of personal taste!"

Wrongo! "Puberty Love" is just, plain Bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsxwwhJ6GrY

Opera Jon's sparkling Vivaldi proves the browser isn't dead

Re: Linux didn't take over the desktop, it took over the browser

Silly boy, that uses the Trident engine....

Linux didn't take over the desktop, it took over the browser

More than half of the web browsers in use are running some variant of KHTML, the rendering engine for the KDE web browser.

KHTML - Konqueror (newer versions can use Webkit too)

Webkit (Apple fork of KHTML) - Safari, Amazon Kindle, Dolphin, Rekonq, Midori, Steam ingame browser

Blink (Google fork of Webkit) - Chrome, Chromium, Iron, Opera, Vivaldi

This is not an exhaustive list. I left out a bunch of really obscure browsers.

PC sales will rise again, predicts Intel, but tablets are toast

"Today there are more than a billion PCs that are more than three years old

In other words, thats more than a billion PCs that are nowhere near useless yet.

The only GOOD DRONE is a DEAD DRONE. Y'hear me, scumbags?!

Re: Quick

"revoke his passport before he can get to the US and cause more gun crime than they've already got"

No, no, no, its alright. We enjoy gun crime. That's why we have so much of it. Yes, it is a national insanity; maybe its caused by groundwater contamination or the 60Hz powerlines messin' with our brainz. But whatever the cause its our national insanity so you Yurpeans can just keep drinking your soy lattes and driving your wee, little scooters* and stay on your side of the Atlantic. At least we have the good sense not to wear speedos.

*We are also torque-crazed. Each and every last one of us. Even little girls with Hello Kitty dolls. We don't know why, we just go with it.