* Posts by FBee

79 posts • joined 9 Jun 2014


Ransomware encrypts files, demands three good deeds to restore data


Also Cheeseface the dog on cover of NatLampCo's Death Issue

"If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Kill This Dog" January 1973 "Death" issue of Nation Lampoon Magazine. Sadly, Cheeseface was actually shot and killed by a hunter a couple of years later.

You can keep your old ERP system, but you'll still need ServiceNow, CEO tells The Reg


Re: SNOW Sucks

SNow takes a breezy shoulder-tap request - from a customer to a tech - and turns it into an immense hurricane of emails/forwardings/incidences/work orders/work order tasks and dog knows what else involving a dozen or more individuals throughout multiple continents and time zones. Back in the Goodle Days, there would have been a single filled-out ticket sheet which was then stabbed onto a check spindle, fini!

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout


Dick Brush - Head of Custodial Services

Presumably he delegated bog-swab duties...

IT blamed after HR forgets to install sockets in new office


...and ceases, too

Both words appropos!!

Amazon Alexa can be hijacked via commands from own speaker


Software guy smashes through the Somebody Else's Problem field to save the day


Some Days You Eat The Bear And Some Days The Bear Eats You

1974 album by Ian Matthews

OK, boomer? Gen-X-ers, elder millennials most likely to name their cars, says DVLA


My Yugo was named Slavia

...with a state-issued vanity plate to match. Speaking of match, I met my wife (at the time also a Yugo owner) via ol' Slavia as she thought that was the cleverest vanity plate ever.

While her car was soon traded in for a VW Golf, Slavia was eventually driven into the ground years later with the only major repair being a carburetor replacement while still under warranty, although he did suffer a major incident when a neighborhood thug ripped out the duct tape-attached cassette deck taking the entire heating system box with it.

Luckily the adjustment cables remained so I could still regulate heat/defrost although there was a learning curve to understand which cable did what...

When civilisation ends, a Xenix box will be running a long-forgotten job somewhere


Re: .MRE Lifespan

I just finished off the last carton of Nestle's Double Chocolate Quik Powder (Best if used by 10/2008 presumably manufactured circa 2006) which I've been rationing for almost 15 years.

While here in USA the similarly-named 14-ounce ready-to-drink Nestle's Quik Double Chocolate Lowfat Milk is still available, the powder version has not been around since 2007.

I much preferred the stir-in powder form as, even upon vigorous mixing, there remained tiny crunchy "nuggets" of the mix creating a delicious (to me) bonus in every glassful. This phenomenon occurred even whilst fresh back in the Early Aughts and remained so right up to my final quaff.

While speculating this very effect might have led to its demise/end of manufacture, I have so far resisted searching for vintage containers on Fleabay etc. as MY stash was always stored in a cool dark location buried deep in the closet...

Firewalls? Pfft – it's no match for my mighty spares-bin PC




When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers


Re: Haynes Manuals

Protip - WD is up to version WD-40

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light


Re: Old school methodology.

But who enables WMI access on each and every machine? Never seen 100% WMI availability...

The black screen of BIOS borkage haunts Space Shuttle Discovery's new home


My Dell 755 is running Win10 21H1 quite fine thank you

although boosted to a max capacity of 8GB RAM from original 2GB albeit on equally-old spinning rust and the stock Core 2 Duo @ 2.66 GHz CPU. Sadly, looks like no Win11 in its future.

Bug at payments processor WorldPay swipes £2k+ per ride ticket from Brighton Pier revellers


Re: I May Be Cheap...

I don't log into my bank app after every $1.75 soda purchase but mayhaps I should start to do so, eh?

Vissles V84: Mechanical keyboard hits all the right buttons for Mac power users


2 thumbs up for Malvina Reynolds reference

Little Boxes - Malvina Reynolds 1962

Pete Seeger had a 1963 hit record during the Great Folk Music Scare but I have always preferred her own version with her slightly creaky-sounding voice adding even more authenticity.

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes made of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes all the same

There's a pink one and a green one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

And the people in the houses

All went to the university

Where they were put in boxes

And they came out all the same

And there's doctors and lawyers

And business executives

And they're all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

And they all play on the golf course

And drink their martinis dry

And they all have pretty children

And the children go to school

And the children go to summer camp

And then to the university

Where they are put in boxes

And they come out all the same

And the boys go into business

And marry and raise a family

In boxes made of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

There's a pink one and a green one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

Tech scammer who fooled Cisco, Microsoft and Lenovo out of millions jailed for more than seven years


Often the system doesn't work for VALID claims...

I've sent APC at least 75 claims for their infamous power strip recall involving more than 15,000,000 units. Despite following proper procedure involving taking/sending closeup scans of each unit, individually as determined by their cryptic serial numbering system to determine eligibility, we've received exactly ZERO replacements.

Stale and past its best. Are you talking about Windows or the pizza you're waiting for?


Ham & Mushroom

One of those accidental combinations that is now a favourite in the FBee House!!

WTH are NFTs? Here is the token, there is the Beeple....


Internet Meme "victims" are now profiting via NFT

Aprops on Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with you...) some folks who have been (mostly) UNfortunately turned into internet photo memes (see: Star Wars Kid) can now see money in their pockets by selling said NFT meme photos. Surely The Kid deserves a few million for all the embarrassment he's been through...

So what if I pay peanuts for my home broadband? I demand you fix it NOW!



Immortal album but the narrator's observations of The Lamb Opening the Seals is the best part. What a Revelation!!

A trip to the dole queue: CEO of $2bn Bay Area tech biz says he was fired for taking LSD before company meeting


50's housewife on LSD

"It's so sad that you can't see it...you'll never see it..."


ESC key for escaping reality!

Something went wrong but we won't tell you what it is. Now, would you like to take out a premium subscription?


You have not responded for two minutes...

We will close this ticket if no response is forthcoming.

TICKET CLOSED (ONE SECOND after "You have not..." appears on the screen). And you can see the one-second-later time stamp on your CLOSED ticket.

Don't be a fool, cover your tool: How IBM's mighty XT keyboard was felled by toxic atmosphere of the '80s



just nudge your car's fuel cap between the pump trigger and finger guard and let go away!

What happens when cancel culture meets Adolf Hitler pareidolia? Amazon decides it needs a new app icon


No logo, just the name...

Unfortunately, now out-of-business but they had a lot of balls - C.O.Jones

Microsoft fixes four zero-day flaws in Exchange Server exploited by China's ‘Hafnium’ spies to steal victims' data


Note: Hammer needed to break the seam to enter their heads

Pirate Bay co-founder criticises Parler for its lack of resilience


Their backup is currently available for download/restore on archive.org

See: Wayback Machine

IT Marie Kondo asks: Does this noisy PC spark joy? Alas, no. So under the desk it goes


Re: Location location location

We weren't in the lavatory, but rather the closet underneath, in the basement, with the flushing pipes right behind our desks. We always took lunch break right AFTER the rest of the building as otherwise we could barely hear each other over the din...

Good news: Euro sat spots liquid pools on Mars. Bad news: Under ice, saltier than someone who put last penny into a failed crypto biz


Dragon's Egg by Robert L. Forward

Life as we know it?

Outage: Faulty UPS at data centre housing London Internet Exchange causes grief for ISPs and telcos alike


uninterrupted power supply??

I'd say it WAS interrupted! Uninterruptible Power Supply STAT

SAP blogger reveals top tips for keeping clients happy: Don’t swear, remember to write a pithy subject line, and TURN OFF CAPS LOCK


Weird Al Yankovic "Word Crimes"

I hate these word crimes

Like 'I could care less'.

That means you do care

At least a little...

I hate these word crimes!

You really need a

Full time proofreader.

You dumb mouth-breather.

Well, you should hire

Some cunning linguist

To help you distinguish

What is proper English...

If there's a lesson to be learned in these torrid times, it's that civilisation is fleeting – but Windows XP is eternal


DOSbox didn't work...

My wife is Receptionist/Billing Clerk/Etc... for an older about-to-retire 80-year-old Doctor who refuses to upgrade to a federally-mandated "modern" billing system, for good reason as he will soon be Former Doctor.

At any rate, he insists on using a home-grown billing system his buddy wrote up in DOS back in the 80's-90's who knows when? A couple of years ago, with his old non-supported Windows XP machine still online, and Win7 about to be decommissioned as well, and my concerns over OS security (medical office and all that implies...) I finally convinced him to buy a new computer.

Well, he was at least willing to upgrade to a used Win7 machine (why should I but new? I'm retiring soon...) but, alas, the DOS biller would not run under Win7. Even DOSbox would not resolve the problem. I finally set up the Win7 machine as the main office computer for online use including the all-important printer/fax machine and attendant answering service and, via a KVM switch (for my wife's convenience) the XP machine with its DOS program. With the XP machine now totally offline, but still needing to print billing receipts etc. I used a crossover cable attached to a newish printer (no printer port as on the oldish XP machine) so now my wife simply swaps between XP/Win7 until that fateful day when BOTH get switch off for good!

Now that's a train delay Upminster with which London travellers shall not put

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Re: 1241 Minutes - it could be worse - MTA in Boston

Thumbs up for "Charlie on the MTA" reference. Love That Dirty Water!!

NASA to send Perseverance, a new trundle bot, and Ingenuity, the first interplanetary helicopter, to sniff out life on Mars in July


Well, at least the solar system's largest...

Space is a Big Place!

HTC breaks with tradition to push out 2 phones someone might actually want to buy


Audio specs?

Loved my M8 with stereo 24-bit speakers...came with Harman Kardon earbuds to boot!

Bite me? It's 'byte', and that acronym is Binary Interface Transfer Code Handler


Mericans, too, see City of Worcester (Massachusetts) pronounced "WOOsta"

Chicago: Why I just grin like a dork... It's my kind of Bork


CTA Band/Banned

Chicago is an American rock band formed in 1967 in Chicago, Illinois, calling themselves the Chicago Transit Authority in 1968 before shortening the name in 1969. After the release of their eponymous (debut) album, the band's name was shortened to Chicago to avoid legal action being threatened by the actual mass-transit company of the same name.

Sometimes one can go a little too far in search of isolation

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Re: That reminds me...

...it will fall over" end quote. See also Teslicle's Deviant ("What comes in, must go out").

Facebook sort-of blocks anti-quarantine events – how many folks are actually behind these 'massive' protests online?


Live Free AND Die

OK, I'll stop...


Give Me Liberty AND Give Me Death

Available in other countries as well...

Vietnam bans posting fake news online


Re: Late to the party?

"Everyone says that the 1973 award is the “most unpopular” Nobel award ever, and that is probably true. But the nature of the unpopularity is worth pondering. The critics mainly objected to the half of the prize going to Kissinger, not the half going to Le Duc Tho. They thought it outrageous that the American secretary of state had won the Nobel prize, not so much that the representative of a totalitarian and mass-murdering dictatorship had done so. It is legend that Tom Lehrer, the American musician-satirist, gave up his career after Kissinger won the peace prize. That is not true: He had bowed out before. But he did say that “political satire became obsolete” when Kissinger won."

-Jay Nordlinger

I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go: Yes, Sony's Xperia 1 II has a 3.5mm headphone port


Re: Who is watching movies on their phone?

Some newer phones have "Miniview" which presents a, umm, mini view for one-handed usage. My Miniview is even adjustable for screen coverage, whether ham-handed (75% screen) or all the way down to Trumpian (25% coverage)...

Internet's safe-keepers forced to postpone crucial DNSSEC root key signing ceremony – no, not a hacker attack, but because they can't open a safe


"identical set of equipment on the other coast" ??!

Wait a minute...is this some sort of quantum security?

Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent


Re: About the same time that ...

Thumbs-up for Firesign Theatre reference!

Wikipedia notation - Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers is the Firesign Theatre's third comedy album, released by Columbia Records in July 1970. In 1983, The New Rolling Stone Record Guide called it "the greatest comedy album ever made"

Vote rigging, election fixing, ballot stuffing: Just another day in the life of a Register reader


Re: "aren't the Dropkick Murphys an American band?"

But-but-but they're from BOSTON!!

After 10 years, Google Cloud Print will finally be out of beta... straight into ad giant's graveyard


NO-O-O-O-O Think about the Children's...Chromebooks in Classrooms...

In the US, at least, where many school districts L-O-V-E cheap-as-dirt Chromebooks, kids need to print their homework, eh?

Guess what's on the receiving end of more NASA dollars for SLS?


2024...hmm...Trumps 3rd term??!

Pushing the deadline back from 2028 to Keep America Great for Our Fearless Leader's Perfect Legacy!!

Of course, by 2024 Trump will either be enjoying his newly-created constitutional right to unlimited terms or, lacking that ploy, will surely be in office for at least the two extra years he has mused that he is owed due to Democrat's stalling of The Don's initiatives (2018-2019) equaling at least his inevitable (?) 2nd term + those 2 extra years = a decade-long debacle...

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again


What the Dormouse Said - a real trip

Literally - LSD and the birth of the Modern computer Age. A trippy hallucinogenic tale of fuzzy warm counter cultural mores meets cold logic computer chips. T'was no tale, forsooth. Feed Your Head indeed...

Windows is coming to Chromebooks… with Google’s blessing


Re: Don't need it, thanks.

The big problem is your local Apple-outfitted school that can't print assignments from all those iPads and carts full of Chromebooks with the same issue...

Cracking the passwords of some WPA2 Wi-Fi networks just got easier


Nice Model M KB in piccie

IBM clicky keys rule!

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield


On the other hand, his cover of "Common People" (with help from Ben Folds) is essential listening.



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