Posts by Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan 82 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Jun 2014
"Users of Salesforce Community – a cloud-based tool that lets businesses spin up quick customer-facing websites –"
In my professional opinion: quick my fucking arse.
Trying to do anything, even the most basic things, salesforce is a nightmare.
I guess it was some copy and paste from some marketing material?
"If someone isn't productive, likely they are not paid enough to be productive."
Or maybe they have to deal with a clunky completely non standard ( not for the better ) environment infested by point and click "technology" that makes you waste hours to fix some text in an HTML page for customer self service. Trying to build a chat bot, which basically requires a few strings and a few if statements is created using a UI spaghetti graph that makes you wonder if you really are awake or having a terrifying nightmare.
No real debug, no real sql, no real javascript, no real nothing...
The whole system is a scam to lock in customers, some of which might fall for the sunk cost fallacy and be scammed a bit longer.
I have been doing that for a whole year - as much as I adore my colleagues and the company I work for, I can't put myself through this for much longer.
I am currently, for my sins, working as a salesforce "developer". They are so talented at turning everything they touch into overpriced shit I wouldn't feel safe being anywhere near a sand castle with their name on it, let alone venture inside one of their buildings.
I wonder if they will bend over backwards to lock those renting space in like they do with those poor customers of their botched platform. The whole company is built on a "shaft thy neighbour" philosophy, and not the nice kind of shafting.
I never got this obsession about Vim.
I don't think this fad will last long.
I like to write my code using my Royal 10 Typewriter, then use my old scanner + OCR for the A4s and Bob's your uncle.
The N is missing, so I have to add them all in by hand, but hey...
I am thinking of getting rid of all this over engineering anyway, and just use card board and a single hole puncher, like normal people.
Fair enough for the dependency injection bit - but if I remember correctly there were about 150MB of Spring related libraries of death. Not sure what they did apart from making it harder to get where we wanted to get.
Hard to unit test would have been a bliss, so much better than almost impossible to deliver. Luckily I left after one year, no idea how long it took them to get a working version of what they wanted. I wouldn't be surprised if they just switched to C# or any other language which just lets you get on with things without lengthy XML prayers. At the time it was the best way to do things, apparently, rather than annotations. Can't imagine what torture annotations must have been then.
As far as I am aware Spring.NET is dead. So there must be ways to do without spring for sure.
I wouldn't be surprised if projects that use Java will eventually move on to another language unless they abandon the vomcano that Spring framework is - maybe it will become a niche technology like Cobol?
I had to use it for a whole year without understanding exactly what it does, apart from creating mile long exception stacktraces, turning simple debug operations into a nightmare. And so much complexity added, for nothing!
I understand that it can be a legacy technology because JEE used to be worse ( whatever worse than Spring could possibly be, without physically attacking and abusing you ), but at the time we were rewriting an existing one from scratch because the original one was a patchwork of different bits added over time.
Estimated length of the project was a year, at the end of which we were not even half way through ( we also had to thank hibernate and GWT for that though ). From what I heard it's not uncommon that very basic functionalities will take forever to implement just to make Spring happy.
I found myself a nice Springless job, unfortunately rare these days, learned to develop android apps - which were threatened with Spring for android for a while, until the whole idea was abandoned - and now moving on to Salesforce devving... Hoping that nobody will every be stupid enough to even consider some Spring like frameworks for that.
I am glad that they are finally listening to people.
I have had enough of complete strangers stopping me on the street to tell me that anything less than 48MP is not enough to take breakfast and dick pics.
Those also were the last words of all my dead grandparents, right before they reminded me for the 100th time that during the war people had to live with low resolution black and white dick and breakfast pics, which they had to develop, then buy stamps and envelopes for.
Nobody wants removable batteries instead, right? Screens that won't crack if you drop them from a 1-inch coffee table? Nah. They could do without batteries altogether, and maybe get rid of the screen too. I can see the future being all about screenless, non-mobile devices tied to a wall with a string, Add some rounded corners to them, and they all become premium features, with extra privacy and all.
Smut names make everything better. Even more so if unintentional!
This was another good one:
http://aliprandi.blogspot.com/2013/03/inkulator-sounds-funny-for-italians.html
I guess that was one of the very first times that being born there ( and speaking the language ) turned out to be an advantage :-)
"ergo you are the one with the problem."
It vaguely reminds me of the saudis objecting to a .baby TLD because, according to their warped minds, it would attract or even encourage paedos.
I don't think normal people's minds would have gone down that road in a million years. Or possibly a million light years, even.
I do believe that scammers have some sort of database of people they cannot con which they all share.
My own experience is with people who were trying to sell me some kind of disaster recovery strategy plan - the door to door jesus people:
I used to receive the occasional visit from people who had clear ideas on the steps to follow in order to transfer my consciousness to a place they considered super safe once my wetware would give up the ghost.
I never was a vegetarian ( back then ) campaigner, as I do what I believe is right for me and don't share opinions unless asked. But I was confronted by people who were offering opinions I had never asked for, so hey...
I had a lot of time that day, and nothing better to do, so I took a lot of time to explain that they would go to hell too, together with their favourite mythological characters, as they were probably consuming meat. A very polite conversation I could tell they didn't know how to get out of :-)
That was the last ever visit of final destination merchants at that address, from any kind of vendors. Imagine being blacklisted by one of the most annoying categories of human beings!
I am fairly neutral when it comes to brands - I don't like iphones and I don't buy them, just like I don't like cucumbers and I don't buy them either. I have no strong feelings against either.
Having said that, I find it odd that people can be excited for a company selling stuff at an higher margin, and therefore ripping its customers off more than its competitors do.
Oh, my ex was just like her despite his immensely humbler origins. Only difference was that he could barely count and organise a piss up in a brewery.
I would say that privilege, wealth and coddling had no part in his small scale grifting. Given the lack of those prerequisites, maybe it just means he was just an over achiever when it comes to narcissistic personality disorder?
"I'm kinda baffled how on this IT news forum so many people have trouble understanding the difference between HP and HPE."
Exactly! And let's hope they don't invent languages with a similar name and syntax, but running on different environments...
Can you imagine if, for shits and giggles, they created one called Java and another one Javascript? It would leave people baffled for generations...
"Java may be on top of the heap today but it will be gone in five years."
Problem is, once Java is gone, all we will have left is Script.
Script will have 6 / 10 of the power of JavaScript.
Once Sript is gone, all we will have left is c.
c will only have 1 / 6 of the power of Script.
c will have 1 / 10 of the power of JavaScript.
That article says that an irritating phone you don't want to use is a new concept - but what about that Nokia that had Snake instead of Whatsapp?
Maybe one day we will have mobiles with rotary dials which need coins to make calls, do not have your Contacts stored on them, and only work if you tie them to a wall.
What a time to be alive!
@ a_yank_lurker - Ah, that makes sense, thanks for the reply...
It makes sense to me now. I was mainly thinking about former colleagues whose work could only have been helped by a miracle, couldn't see how less typing would have helped :-) Proper Thedailywtf grade material
Sounds to me like saying that if I use 40% fewer words the quality of an essay will improve
Dunno, maybe if people develop using a plain text editor rather than Eclipse? And that would just be typos and syntax errors, rather than fewer bugs.
But it's just my opinion, maybe I am missing something obvious.
I have just been granted the patent for the solution to the problem.
It consists of a wire between the headphones and the device they are wirelessly connected to. It allows the headphones to use the other device's battery, which is bigger, instead of their own. That should also limit power consumption - I am not an expert, could be wrong, but they look nice so sod it - because there is no need to keep the blue tooth switched on in both devices. If you rest the wire along the perimeter of the device, it acquires visually pleasant round corners.
"an attempt to enable people who had not a clue about databases or SQL to store relational data" - fully agree, and worth mentioning is that apart from the zillions of unnecessary database hits it also is ( was? ) terribly complicated - much more than the SQL it wanted to save a developer from. I also had to use Spring on top of that, to make everything unnecessarily even more difficult. While it was clear to me what Hibernate was trying ( and failing ) to do, I never understood what the whole point of Spring was, apart from making everybody waste time and the will to live. I hope it's gone out of fashion. Other than that, I really like plain normal Java...
"I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity"
That's why Spring and Hibernate were invented. To teach those who though a select query couldn't be a time consuming processor hammering nightmare a lesson. The software equivalent of chopsticks - in my case at least :-)
I only searched on Google for "Munich Vertu", to confirm that there really were two, and it returned only one. But I am quite convinced there was a second one at some stage... I remember reading about Vertu being liquidated, but I am not an expert and assumed liquidation didn't have to be immediate and they were allowed to go on for a while to sell as much stock as possible. Their own website seems to confirm that all their shops have now gone. Thank you for the correction :-)
I have friends there, and from what I saw, the place does have money to burn. I can only see one Vertu shop now, but I am pretty sure there used to be two :-)
If my impression is correct, the reason why they do have money to burn is because they don't do burn it. That seems to be changing now though?
I think it was LG, but I might be wrong. You had the option of still eyes or blinking to avoid people unlocking it using pictures. It used to work fine, I asked other people to test it and not a single false positive. It would have been cheaper and more reliable than reinventing a buckled wheel
"A manual is a set of instructions to follow in a logical order, just follow the steps one by one. Nobody's asking to perform a quadruple bypass off a manual, so just get on with the basic stuff. If you can't do *that*, then there's something wrong with you" - that's what I used to tell myself until I became friend with a guy who has a degree in biosomething who could not put together a cabinet despite the clearly explained instructions. What would have taken me 10 minutes ended up taking 45 instead because he wanted to help. Then he cooked can't remember what, the food was delicious and it suddenly dawned on me: he assembled ingredients. No matter how easy the recipe is, I follow the steps one by one, but it just doesn't taste nice, or the way it's intended to taste, and the mess is the same as if I had cooked for everybody in India and China. Same with fixing punctures in my bike - some kids could do it in a few minutes, I'm 41 and ended up having to buy solid tyres ( which are a great invention ). I cycle everywhere, but GPS on phones changed my life because I'm useless at reading maps - I was in Barcelona with a non particularly bright ex and we went for a long walk. At some point he stopped before I could realise he brought us back to the hotel, through the maze of many tiny streets, without a map. All very basic things which I realised are my Achille's heels, while it comes natural to other people.
So, in my experience at least, the Y chromosome can be very selective in what it decides to allow you to be able to do. I will never criticise anybody ever again for their hopelessness with something I find piss easy. Turns out I'm often equally useless with some stuff that others can do effortlessly
PS - I am not saying you were criticising anybody in your comment! :-)
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