* Posts by Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

58 posts • joined 2 Jun 2014


What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

The Kins of Zune

Billionaires showered with wealth as experts say global economy set for long and deep recession

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: whenever governments grab MORE control...

"It is SO predictable by those who understand what I just said. And so is the SOLUTION!!!"

Something tells me your solution includes "sun and disinfectant injections"...

Web pages a little too style over substance? Behold the Windows 98 CSS file

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: The Modern UI/UX

In all honesty I am quite convinced that it's the designers who insist that GUIs must be regularly changed because it's the only way they can justify their jobs.

You like JavaScript! You really like it! Scripting lingo tops dev survey of programming languages

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: It will not last ...

"Java may be on top of the heap today but it will be gone in five years."

Problem is, once Java is gone, all we will have left is Script.

Script will have 6 / 10 of the power of JavaScript.

Once Sript is gone, all we will have left is c.

c will only have 1 / 6 of the power of Script.

c will have 1 / 10 of the power of JavaScript.

Is this cuttlefish really all that cosmic? Ubuntu 18.10 arrives with extra spit, polish, 4.18 kernel

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@jake - Re: "the system has a more modern and 'flatter' look"

"... what happens when Marketing makes Engineering decisions ..."

Or when designers are good at convincing others that what they have already done is so bad that it needs to be done again from scratch.

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: RE: Forget It

It's quite sad that we can't think of an excuse to ship Diane Abbott to California as well.

It would help if anybody actually knew what she does...

Finally. The palm-sized Palm phone is back. And it will, er, save you from your real smartphone

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: I found this:

That article says that an irritating phone you don't want to use is a new concept - but what about that Nokia that had Snake instead of Whatsapp?

Maybe one day we will have mobiles with rotary dials which need coins to make calls, do not have your Contacts stored on them, and only work if you tie them to a wall.

What a time to be alive!

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Jape

Allergy, or are you a bit anal when it comes to pesticide paranoia?

Well, this makes scents: Kotlin code quality smells better than Java

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Fewer lines of code == fewer bugs?

@ a_yank_lurker - Ah, that makes sense, thanks for the reply...

It makes sense to me now. I was mainly thinking about former colleagues whose work could only have been helped by a miracle, couldn't see how less typing would have helped :-) Proper Thedailywtf grade material

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Fewer lines of code == fewer bugs?

Sounds to me like saying that if I use 40% fewer words the quality of an essay will improve

Dunno, maybe if people develop using a plain text editor rather than Eclipse? And that would just be typos and syntax errors, rather than fewer bugs.

But it's just my opinion, maybe I am missing something obvious.

Did you even sweat, tho? Plaintiffs told to amend claims in Apple headphones suit

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Found the solution. Tim Cook give me a shout if you are reading this

I have just been granted the patent for the solution to the problem.

It consists of a wire between the headphones and the device they are wirelessly connected to. It allows the headphones to use the other device's battery, which is bigger, instead of their own. That should also limit power consumption - I am not an expert, could be wrong, but they look nice so sod it - because there is no need to keep the blue tooth switched on in both devices. If you rest the wire along the perimeter of the device, it acquires visually pleasant round corners.

Huawei Honor 10: At £399, plenty of bang for buck – it's a pity about the snaps

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@Chz Re: "The problem is it makes the phone as slippery as a bar of soap."

Reminds me of my Nexus 4 - I thought whoever made it ( LG? ) had invented a material with a negative coefficient of friction

Doom and Super Mario could be a lot tougher now AI is building levels

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Selfie or it never happened!

Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Frank Blackmore's work?

Is it just me or that looks a lot like the flow of cars trying to escape from Swindon's Magic Roundabout?

Windows 10 S to become a 'mode', not a discrete product

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: ... Microsoft Store ...

@wallaby FFS = For Free Software?

IBM Java CTO: Devs shouldn't have to learn Docker, K8s, 30 other things to deploy an app

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: --->Hibernate

"an attempt to enable people who had not a clue about databases or SQL to store relational data" - fully agree, and worth mentioning is that apart from the zillions of unnecessary database hits it also is ( was? ) terribly complicated - much more than the SQL it wanted to save a developer from. I also had to use Spring on top of that, to make everything unnecessarily even more difficult. While it was clear to me what Hibernate was trying ( and failing ) to do, I never understood what the whole point of Spring was, apart from making everybody waste time and the will to live. I hope it's gone out of fashion. Other than that, I really like plain normal Java...

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@ onefang Re: Lame name options IMHO

"I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity"

That's why Spring and Hibernate were invented. To teach those who though a select query couldn't be a time consuming processor hammering nightmare a lesson. The software equivalent of chopsticks - in my case at least :-)

And we return to Munich's migration back to Windows – it's going to cost what now?! €100m!

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@Rob Telford

I only searched on Google for "Munich Vertu", to confirm that there really were two, and it returned only one. But I am quite convinced there was a second one at some stage... I remember reading about Vertu being liquidated, but I am not an expert and assumed liquidation didn't have to be immediate and they were allowed to go on for a while to sell as much stock as possible. Their own website seems to confirm that all their shops have now gone. Thank you for the correction :-)

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

I have friends there, and from what I saw, the place does have money to burn. I can only see one Vertu shop now, but I am pretty sure there used to be two :-)

If my impression is correct, the reason why they do have money to burn is because they don't do burn it. That seems to be changing now though?

Team Trump goes in to bat for Google and Facebook

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Trump will want to be re-elected

@thegroucho Better the swamp monster you know?

First iPhone X fondlers struggle to admit that Face ID sort of sucks

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Couldn't they buy the technolody from whoever build Nexus 4

I think it was LG, but I might be wrong. You had the option of still eyes or blinking to avoid people unlocking it using pictures. It used to work fine, I asked other people to test it and not a single false positive. It would have been cheaper and more reliable than reinventing a buckled wheel

Ex-sperm-inate! Sam the sex-droid 'heavily soiled' in randy nerd rampage

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Gimmi!

I'm no expert myself, but from what friends tell me I think these dolls can be quite an investment. 3 grand is nothing, unless they need more leccy than a furnace, compared to what some long term XX wetware ( no pun intended ) require.

IKEA flat-packs TaskRabbit to crack assembly code

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@ Joe Werner - Re: Reading a manual

"A manual is a set of instructions to follow in a logical order, just follow the steps one by one. Nobody's asking to perform a quadruple bypass off a manual, so just get on with the basic stuff. If you can't do *that*, then there's something wrong with you" - that's what I used to tell myself until I became friend with a guy who has a degree in biosomething who could not put together a cabinet despite the clearly explained instructions. What would have taken me 10 minutes ended up taking 45 instead because he wanted to help. Then he cooked can't remember what, the food was delicious and it suddenly dawned on me: he assembled ingredients. No matter how easy the recipe is, I follow the steps one by one, but it just doesn't taste nice, or the way it's intended to taste, and the mess is the same as if I had cooked for everybody in India and China. Same with fixing punctures in my bike - some kids could do it in a few minutes, I'm 41 and ended up having to buy solid tyres ( which are a great invention ). I cycle everywhere, but GPS on phones changed my life because I'm useless at reading maps - I was in Barcelona with a non particularly bright ex and we went for a long walk. At some point he stopped before I could realise he brought us back to the hotel, through the maze of many tiny streets, without a map. All very basic things which I realised are my Achille's heels, while it comes natural to other people.

So, in my experience at least, the Y chromosome can be very selective in what it decides to allow you to be able to do. I will never criticise anybody ever again for their hopelessness with something I find piss easy. Turns out I'm often equally useless with some stuff that others can do effortlessly

PS - I am not saying you were criticising anybody in your comment! :-)

Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@ AC Hipsters

"No doubt the people involved in that will now be engaged in new startups"

Yes, that, or impossible.com. It still exists, I just checked

Java 9 release back on track, community votes 'yes'

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan


Yes, you can find all about it on the Internet.

Looking for an Ubuntu Unity close cousin? Elementary, my dear...

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: "An"? I had no idea!

"Red Hat" is pronounced "reddit". That's why their website is "reddit.com". It's all written in javascript ( silent "script", it is pronounced "java" ) and HTML ( pronounced "hotmail" )

Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Does using metal instead of plastic actually make sense?

I admit I don't know much about physics, but is there any reason behind the use of metal instead of plastic?

Or is it just so that mobile manufacturers can shaft their customers a little more?

If I remember correctly, the "holding it wrong" malarkey only happened because the case was made of metal. I could be completely wrong here, but that's how I remember it.

So - long story short: they make you pay more to shave a millimetre from your phone. I guess it's really important for people to be able to keep an extra bookmark in their pockets / bags. Fair enough.

Then they use metal, for no reason I can understand. But I am happy to be corrected if there is one. So they also a buy a plastic cover, making, effectively, the back of the phone made of plastic. An extra millimetre thick.

Am I missing something?

El Reg just saved your Wikipedia Xmas

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan


Your comment made me read the article again and then I noticed that there is a brief mention of lobbying, so thanks for that ;-)

It seems to me the focus is more on the promise being broken than a non properly disclosed use of the funds, but not an excuse to completely miss it as I did

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

If my "FREE" website contained nothing which is illegal or considered immoral by the vast majority of human population, I would personally ask for phone number of every person who complains about what I decide to publish in it. So I could personally reverse charge ( does that still exist? ) call them to inform them that they have my approval to incessantly fuck themselves until the 31st of December 2117.

You donated me money so that Wikipedia can continue to provide content and I spend that to fund a religious group / leader instead? I deceived you, I deserve it.

I reached my donation target but then I decide to keep a banner asking visitors if they would consider donating a bit more - but no worries if you don't, you can still use all the content of the website without limitations? Don't forget to include your international dialling code.

Have ( some ) people really got to the point of expecting to dictate what free stuff must look like? Or am I missing something?

Virgin Media costs balloon by MEEELLIONS in wake of Brexit

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: They are a media company ( import costs )

I believe their main investment is importing the tons of paper that they use to spam every single household as often as humanly possible. Including those that are already with Virgin Media. That must come from abroad.

Also, the guy on their ad on the telly who can move his feet really fast must be paid in dollars, so that must have gone up too...

Wham, bam... premium rate scam: Grindr users hit with fun-killing charges

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Are we talking about a parallel universe I'd like to live in?

I am a gay man too, and I do get the impression that our lot are a bit more prone to complaining about things. But it could just be my experience :-)

Also, again maybe it's just a personal experience, but it's interesting that tongue in cheek comments about women, Windows users, straight or LGBT fanpeople, fandroids, straight men or any kind of stereotype about a category is immediately recognised as such. If it's about gay people it's likely to outrage.

Honestly, did you find my original comment offensive? Really? Or maybe were you just trying to confirm that I was bringing up a good point there?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Gotta love the excuse

Don't really know how it exactly works - but if they have a way to filter ads from a certain source, they will just serve more from another one? Again, I might be wrong.

If it is the case, they don't even have the excuse of loss of revenue...

Also, and that's another genuine question, shouldn't it be the operating system's job that makes sure no dialing happens without making it really obvious to the user?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan
Paris Hilton

Are we talking about a parallel universe I'd like to live in?

"Tom echoed concerns that gay men were cynically being targeted because they might be less likely to complain."

Wow. Just wow.

Tesco preps for Big Data Engine dump: Laters, Clubcard dev

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan


=> Sainsburys' terminals even says "Greet Customer"

To make the experience even more pleasant, they could have a display for the customers that says "Start looking for your preferred method of payment now" where queues begin.

FFS, people crawl along the checkout for a good 5 minutes, and only when all their items have been scanned they realise they need to pay for them?

Sometimes I wonder if they usually go to shops where all their stuff is scanned purely for stock control and once they're done they just walk away with it.

Lonely this Xmas? Nerds, n00bs and no-hopers' guide to dating apps, Pt.1

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: You city types with your fancy ways

"Our bull's got a bigger one"

If that message goes viral, there will be a big increase in tourism from within the M25.

So much so that I wouldn't be surprised if Thomas Cook started to offer package holidays.

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Rugged?????

My pet hate is "discreet"

I still can't understand what they mean when they use that. So I copy and paste a list of questions hoping to get an answer. Nobody ever gives me one...

"Discreet meaning? You are going to wear a hood? Peppa Pig mask? Marigold gloves so you don't leave fingerprints? A wig, and those plastic glasses with no lenses, plastic noses and moustaches underneath? Or do you think I want to pin you against Nelson's column at 1.30pm?"

Maybe somebody on here can explain what "discreet" means in that context?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Pictures of one's privates

Nigel, rough trade indeed!

My local one is the one down the Old Kent Road, it adds to the experience.

Can't beat that - just like its prices -

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@ Mark - Re: Pictures of one's privates

Market research is always important :-)

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Pictures of one's privates

I - and I guess most guys on "dating" apps - use them for a quick fix rather than looking for the love of the month. For the latter, knowing that a person is *less than 1 km from you and online now* is not as relevant :-)

A bit like going to the corner shop for a bag of crisps, when you are too hungry for the full but not immediate Pizza Hut treat

That's what I meant, adding that even if it wasn't requested, few guys would object to receiving revealing pics.

If a nice fella pulled his pants down in a different environment, say while queuing at a Lidl checkout, I'd find it a bit inappropriate and would make me decline an invitation to know each other over a pint.

PS: I'd still look though ;-)

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Pictures of one's privates

Maybe that's a regional thing then? Here ( London ) That's what gets asked within 3 minutes of the conversation...

At least on Scruff - don't use Grindr because I really don't like the interface

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Pictures of one's privates

"That doesn't, of course, mean that that it's perfectly acceptable to send just anyone pictures of your privates. Trust me, guys – even on a gay site, it makes you look a dick. We all know you have one; if that's what you're proudest of, move on."

I guess the author of the article doesn't have many gay friends :-)

Speaking in Tech: Android 5.0 Lollipop is a TRAIN WRECK

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Updated my Nexus 4

Battery seems to last longer. Having said that, straight after the update it wasn't possible to use the Contacts, Text and Phone app. Whattsap, which apparently is linked to the Phone one would crash too. No mobile connectivity possible, but WiFi was still working.

A few *basic* things that they didn't bother testing on a nexus 4... Odd!

Factory restore to wipe out all the data, and it's been ok since then.

Hadn't I been a techie I would have just given up, but I'm stubborn and persisted...

Google turns on shiny new .google top-level domain – but WHY?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

@ Lee D

The word Ferrari itself doesn't mean anything, however you were right in recognising that it comes from the Italian word "ferro" ( iron ).

It was the nickname given to many smiths ( ref, in Italian : www.paginebianche.it/cognome/ferrari.htm ), more or less the equivalent of iron-er, just like build-er is to the verb to build.

I've just learned something new myself, I would never have even realised that the word "Ferrari" was so similar to "ferro" without your comment :-)

The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

RIM jobs good for those who still have one?

GPs suggesting their patients to watch and be inspired by "The human centipede" and "Two girls one cup", saving the NHS billions of pounds?

Why can't a mobile be more like a cordless kettle?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Charging time?

I have a nexus 4 which I believe could be charged this way, but never felt the need to.

Out of curiosity, does it take longer - the same - less time?

And does it just work or do I need to switch on extra stuff, like NFC? That would have even more impact on charging time, if necessary...

Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan


That thing, from what I understand, doesn't have a screen. Where's the output going to be printed?

Or is it going to be audio?

Echo what time is it

( from the speakers ) "what time is it"

Facebook sticks vid ads on faux retro photo app biz Instagram

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: Help

So you are suggesting that they should introduce a subscription option for people like you who'd pay for it rather than seeing ads?

Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from God'

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

he obviously doesn't read the register!


Or, I guess it is worth the risk ;-)

Swedish 'Future minister' doesn't do social media

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Re: I'm wondering

@ JDX - Because twitter and facebook have developed those sophisticated anti bollocks filters?

T-Mobile US chief SUCKS UP to Apple, gently ridicules rivals over SIM lockdown play

Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

Alternative easier approach

Can't Apple just set up its own proper or virtual mobile network, charge twice as much as anybody else and then force those who buy their devices to stick to AppleMobile?



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