Re: So let me get this right
You are talking about an ideal and using it as the basis of your argument. Furthermore the problems that gay people face are different throughout the world. Problems in the west are very different to say problems in the east, middle east or in Africa were people are jailed or killed as a result of the sexuality.
Paraphrasing an ideal then using it as a gotcha misses the point. In the real world you have to grab and make use of what you can to make life better for yourself, a concept hardly limited to the gay community.
I don't get the point behind .gay. That said it's existence hardly maligns the gay community.