* Posts by el_oscuro

389 publicly visible posts • joined 14 May 2014

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We beg, implore and beseech thee. Stop reusing the same damn password everywhere

el_oscuro

Re: In other news....

How did you guess my password?

el_oscuro
Boffin

Re: In other news....

If you have Firefox, try this:

https://lifehacker.com/enable-copy-paste-in-web-pages-that-disallow-it-with-a-1601848114

OK brainiacs, we've got an IT cold case for you: Fatal disk errors on an Amiga 4000 with 600MB external SCSI unless the clock app is... just so

el_oscuro
Coffee/keyboard

Oracle, Windows, and keyboards

About the same time, a user was having problems with Oracle*Forms on Windows. It would GPF all the time. I opened a service request and troubleshooted for a while. Then they asked what type of keyboard the user had. He had one of those Microsoft "Natural" keyboards, which apparently had some sort of conflict with Oracle*Forms.

Several years later, I told that story to another consultant: She was "OMFG - we had that same issue too. But we never solved it - we tried reinstalling Windows, a new PC, everything. But the one thing that was in common was the users keyboard.

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

el_oscuro

Re: Boss's hairy throat

I think I might have to have that scene in "Airplane!" where they are driving to the airport in the Mustang.

el_oscuro
Windows

Re: Boss's hairy throat

I just had my first video call today. Somehow, my picture didn't break the camera, though I think it was about to before I quietly turned it off and just listened to the meeting.

Things that go crump in the night: Watch Musk's mighty missile go foom

el_oscuro

Kerbal Space program

Using the SpaceX mod, I am able duplicate this almost exactly. Once set up on the launch pad, my starship always falls apart and explodes.

NASA's classic worm logo returns for first all-American trip to ISS in years: Are you a meatball or a squiggly fan?

el_oscuro

Should have an option for both

The worm looks awesome on the side of a rocket. The meatball should be on all letterheads and coffee mugs.

el_oscuro
Boffin

Re: Meatball

Manned missions have definitely told us nothing about Mars - since we haven't been there. 50 years later, we are still learning science from the Moon ones.

Any manned trip to Mars is by definition long term and somewhat self sustaining - if for no other reason than planetary alignment. The amount of science meat bags could collect on a trip is absolutely mind blowing.

It's time to track people's smartphones to ensure they self-isolate during this global pandemic, says WHO boffin

el_oscuro

The US system isn't health care. It is basically institutionalized price gouging and outright theft between the drug companies, insurance, pharmacy benefit managers, and providers, all over billing each other, with the poor sod who actually needs healthcare getting stuck with the bill.

It's Baaaaaack (or is it?): Microsoft Teams suffers a Tuesday totter

el_oscuro

Re: Teams is working for us...

There is also PlaysForSure, Zune, MS Passport, and the Phone to name a few more in its graveyard.

Grab a towel and pour yourself a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster because The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is 42

el_oscuro

Re: Remember the Philosophers

Which side of the pond? Both?

el_oscuro

Re: fun facts

You can play the game now on BBC:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1g84m0sXpnNCv84GpN2PLZG/the-game-30th-anniversary-edition

el_oscuro

Re: Anybody fancy a game of...

This post should be banned for abusive language.

Disk stuck in the drive? Don't dilly-Dali – get IT on the case!

el_oscuro
Mushroom

Re: In my case

In a somewhat related incident, I perpetrated what was later known as "The Ramen Event". After 30 years of successfully using a microwave, I put a bowl of ramen noodles and set it to nuke for 3 minutes. The problem was, I forgot to add water to the noodles, causing it to catch fire. Even worse, I added ghost peppers to the noodles to make it extra spicy.

I effectively pepper-sprayed the entire building. But even better, it was about an hour before a happy hour so the end result was beer o'clock started early. I have never lived this down.

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?

el_oscuro

Re: Mixed Feelings

A website I originally designed is still in production. Best viewed on Netscape Navigator 3.

We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks

el_oscuro
Coffee/keyboard

Re: obligatory link to Dilbert

Please see icon

C'mon SPARCky, it's just an admin utility update. What could possibly go wrong?

el_oscuro

Re: It wasn't me!

From the way-back machine, I had a Commodore 64 and as a teenager had no money for the $35 macro assembler cartridge. So instead, I wrote a very simple one in C64 BASIC that supported JMP labels and such. But since the C64 didn't have a built-in editor, I also had to write one in BASIC. And it was based on EDLIN.

25 years of Delphi and no Oracle in sight: Not a Visual Basic killer but hard to kill

el_oscuro

Re: Language!

We *still* have production P*w*rB**ld*r apps in use. In 2020.

And while I never used Delphi, I made extensive use of Borland C++ builder which had the IDE and VCL fully implemented as classes. Despite it's GUI emphasis, I wrote server apps with it and made extensive use of the VCL classes for backend processing.

The most significant was a OCI web app that processed up to 3m calls a day until we migrated to Linux in 2011.

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance

el_oscuro

Re: Seen in the wild - gloopy

I guess Gloopy is the Russia translation for Goop.

el_oscuro

Re: Seen in the wild

In the old days, we had Grid Laptops (before they were bought out by Tandy). These had titanium cases and DOS in ROM.

Occasionally we had to perform a "drop test" to reseat those ROMS. This involved dropping the laptop onto a flat surface from about 3 feet high.

Vendor-bender LibreOffice kicks out 6.4: Community project feel, though now with added auto-█████ tool

el_oscuro
Devil

Re: LibreOffice Draw

Many years ago, I was working on a project where I had to open a document in Office 2007. What is the very first thing I needed to do? Print it of course. Having never seen the ribbon before, I couldn't find the print button. So I asked the system admin and he admitted he didn't know either. But he gave me a trick: The old DOS shortcut Control-P still worked, along with other standbys like Control-S for save and Control-O for open.

I have been using these ever since, and the work in LibreOffice and practically every other program. I have been ignoring the ribbon ever since. Best productivity gain ever!

Chrome suddenly using Bing after installing Office 365 Pro Plus... Yeah, that might have been us, mumbles Microsoft

el_oscuro
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Phew!

No additional comment required

el_oscuro

Re: Antitrust

I had to fix a friends XP computer which had so much crap installed that it took 1/2 hour to boot.

With a Unix background I used the "rm -rf" method. I told them I would be deleting every app that wasn't something like office or photoshop. So it went something like this:

1. Attempt to remove it with control panel which would probably fail

2: c:\> rd /s "c:\program files\crap"

3: c:\> reg delete "hklm\software\crap"

4. regseeker and ccleaner (back when those were good)

5. Lather, rinse, reboot, and repeat

6. Install firefox, a decent free AV, delete IE icons, set browser defaults, etc

They were like "oh my god, this is a like a new computer". I wonder how long it lasted.

Beer necessities: US chap registers bevvy as emotional support animal so he can booze on public transport

el_oscuro

Re: Trains and Boats and Planes

Visiting New York last year, one of the locals told me: "If the subway car is empty, *do not* get on it. Don't ask me why."

el_oscuro
WTF?

Re: You don't eat your support animal!

Did you get the get the latest Microsoft update?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/01/22/office_365_bing/

el_oscuro
Pint

Re: You gotta shoot...

When I was stationed in Germany Budweiser (the American one) was actually illegal to sell off the American bases. There were a few dusty six packs of it in the PX, probably still sitting there from the 1970s.

Meanwhile, I would be off to pick up of a case of Parkbrau at the local Esso station.

BTW, if you ever happen to come by the Czech Budweiser, you need to try it. It is *really* good.

Windows 7 back in black as holdouts report wallpaper-stripping shenanigans

el_oscuro

Re: Will they replace the start-up sound as well?

I think Microsoft bought out Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to obtain their Genuine People Personalities technology. We should see Marvin's remaining diodes installed in an office assistant soon.

EA boots Linux gamers out of multiplayer Battlefield V, Penguinistas respond by demanding crippling boycott

el_oscuro

Re: Few things jump out

I have a Slik-stik arcade cabinet with a Wells/Gardener CRT, HAPPS controls and a Tornado spinner. Originally, I had Windows, but all of the games were like crap. So I installed Lincade, a dedicated gaming distro with built-in drivers for the ArcadeVGA graphics card, and the difference was like night and day.

Besides my arcade cabinet and RetroPi, I also have thousands of hours on games like Kerbal Space Program, FTL, Strike Suit Zero, and Dying Light. All on Linux. I have had to upgrade motherboards and power supplies to properly drive my NVidea 1080 - so my Linux games have a good frame rate - on Linux.

TikTok boom: US Army bans squaddies from using trendy app on govt-issued phones

el_oscuro
FAIL

Re: social media data hoovering is an obvious security risk

I was in the Army many years ago and the entire certification exam for the computer programmer MOS 74-Foxtrot was nothing but cybersecurity.

How are these Army issued phones anything other than locked down milspec issue?

Deadly 737 Max jets no longer a Boeing concern – for now: Production suspended after biz runs out of parking space

el_oscuro

Re: Alternate 737MAX design kludge

I think the issue is that the bigger engines become an actual lifting body like a wing when the angle of attack is increased, i.e when approaching a stall. Because of the forward placement, they tend to re-enforce that stall and make it worse.

el_oscuro

Re: Welcome to Seattle

One of the very few things that Douglass Adams didn't get right in the HHGTTG: The Sirius Cybernetics marketers will not be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. They will have to get in line behind these people.

el_oscuro

Re: Complacency!

On this side of the pond, when I heard that Brexit had passed, I knew we were doomed and that The Donald would get elected. The exact same type of rot that led to Brexit was here and driving it too.

iFixit surgeons dissect Apple's pricey Mac Pro: Industry standard sockets? Repair diagrams? Who are you and what have you done to Apple?

el_oscuro
Boffin

Re: "...the equivalent of a two-bedroom terraced house in West Yorkshire on a computer"

Over on the other side of the pond one of these fully tricked out will set you back a cool 73k. At least you don't have to pay the Microsoft tax:

https://system76.com/desktops/thelio-massive-b1/configure

Since the FCC won't act, Congress finally moves on robocalls by passing half-decent TRACED Act

el_oscuro

Re: Robocalls cost cell phone companies money

Over on this side of the pond, it is definitely about land lines. We still have an "unlisted" one and it is relentlessly robocalled. It is to the point that we don't answer unless we know the caller.

On the other hand, our cell phones have remained relatively robocall free.

As pressure builds over .org sell-off, internet governance bodies fall back into familiar pattern: Silence

el_oscuro

Re: Indeed

Kind of the opposite with "2001 A Space Odyssey":

IBM -1 == HAL

Bad news: 'Unblockable' web trackers emerge. Good news: Firefox with uBlock Origin can stop it. Chrome, not so much

el_oscuro
Big Brother

Actually, pi-hole could prevent this easily:

1. Resolve DNS alias to real A-record

2. Check if on block list

3. Optionally add new record to blocklist

So if x-d.example.com really points to tracking.doubleclick.net, x-d.example.com would be added to the pi-hole block list and eventually all of these faked subdomains aliases would just become additional blocked entries

el_oscuro
Pint

Re: Come the revolution...

Telephone sanitizers are especially important these days as the ones everyone are carrying around aren't particularly clean.

IT protip: Never try to be too helpful lest someone puts your contact details next to unruly boxen

el_oscuro

Re: Overtime

On a former contract, I worked as 1099 and got paid the hours I worked. In every real way, my timesheet was a legal document and any inaccuracies could get you canned. I had already seen it happen to more than one coworker.

So when our shitty subcontractor decided that we needed to complete our timesheets a day early - before the work had actually been performed. Included on the document was a legal statement, something to the effect that: "I certify that this timesheet is accurate to the best of my knowledge and reflects all hours actually worked."

After a dust up with the PHB of the subcontractor, I complied with the new policy. But I changed the legal statement to say something like:

"I certify that this timesheet is a best estimate of the future hours I will work this week, and may require adjustment in the event that hours actually worked differ from the estimate."

I submitted timesheets with that statement for 2 years afterwards with that legalese. No one ever complained.

A stranger's TV went on spending spree with my Amazon account – and web giant did nothing about it for months

el_oscuro
FAIL

Re: All those precautions and 'they' left out the most obvious one

I have had to kill credit cards to get rid of "pre-authorized" charges. You sign up for some service and they start billing your CC automatically "for your convenience", and then make it impossible to close the account. First offender was AOL but there have been plenty since. I no longer even bother trying to close the account - I just get a new credit card. A good way of cleaning out the leeches that attach to any card over the years. Anything I actually still use will get the new card number.

But the worst offender was PayTrust after they got bought out by Intuit. Since it was a bill paying service, they had my bank account on file and made cancelling the account even more hyperimpossible than learning to fly or making something invisible.

So I put a stop payment on any charges from paytrust - even that didn't work for awhile - they just kept running up charges until after about 6 months they gave up.

Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?

el_oscuro
Pint

Never had a soda incident, but did commit alcohol abuse by spilling a beer on my rather nice Microsoft keyboard, which I replaced with an IBM model M.

A cautionary, Thames Watery tale on how not to look phishy: 'Click here to re-register!'

el_oscuro
Coat

Re: Why no subdomain!?

What happens if someone is named "O'Water; drop table customers; --"?

'We go back to the Moon to stay': Apollo vets not too chuffed with NASA's new rush to the regolith

el_oscuro
FAIL

Clean drinking water is also a pretty big requirement for any permanent Moon colony. Except the Moon makes the Sahara look like a paradise. Don't you think the technology used to manage water on the Moon might solve some of those same problems on Earth?

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

el_oscuro
Devil

Re: Hardware Testing

On the other side of the pond, we had the Applications Security System.

Microsoft: Dynamics 365 to hook up online, physical retail... 'cos we love tracking so much we want it offline too

el_oscuro

Re: "alert staff of long queues at checkouts"

On the other side of the pond, our local K-Mart had a big sign up: "If there are more then 4 people in any line, we will open up more registers"

Of course this was with 2 registers open and 20 people in line.

Management quickly fixed that. They took down the sign.

HP printer small print says kit phones home data on whatever you print – and then some

el_oscuro
Devil

Re: Trustworthy?

For added irony and spite, set the job to run on the printer itself. There is probably a default admin password, and probably a cron job already set up. You just have to modify it a little depending on your requirements.

Justice served: There is no escape from the long server log of the law

el_oscuro

Re: ... very few people would notice...

Here on the other side of the pond, it is called "payola"

Equifax is going to make you work for that 125 bucks it owes each of you: Biz sneaks out Friday night rule change

el_oscuro
Devil

I'm going to make them work to not pay me

First I asked for the $125, of course.

Then they said they said they need who provided my credit monitoring. So I gave them the name of the one provided by my corporate overlords. Took 10 seconds.

Soon they will ask you to upload some proof. So I will get either a screenshot of the email or even better, a scanned printout with a really crappy scanner.

That way they have to use an actual person to look at my attachment.

After it is all done and said, they will have probably spent a lot of billable hours to avoid paying the $125.

Then I'll take them to small claims court, and include all of the time spent trying to collect the $125.

Bus pass or bus ass? Hackers peeved about public transport claim to have reverse engineered ticket app for free rides

el_oscuro

Re: Which software do you want to have been used in this plane?

Nope. An Kindergartner would have probably made a paper or balsa airplane and known what would happen if you pointed the back wing down that much.

Y2K, Windows NT4 Server and Notes. It's a 1990s Who, Me? special

el_oscuro
Mushroom

Re: Even to this day...

5 timezones just happens to be difference between Canada and Scotland. I was remotely rebooting a database server in Hallifax which I thought was in Scotland. It was actually in Canada and I rebooted it right in the the middle of the day.

Another rewrite for 737 Max software as cosmic bit-flipping tests glitch out systems – report

el_oscuro
Coat

Re: So...

I've had aircraft that flew like that. All you have to do is make a paper airplane and turn the flaps on the back all the way down. It will fly just like that.

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