Posts by Donkey Molestor X

WordPress blogger patch foot-drag nag: You're tempting hackers

Meth^H^H^H^HPHP: not even once.

"But Facebook uses PHP!"

I rest my case.

Students, graduates, amateurs: Win £10,000 in Cyber 10K challenge

Re: I'm perhaps oversensitive

u triggered bro? y u triggered bro?

Linux kernel dev who asked Linus Torvalds to stop verbal abuse quits over verbal abuse

Re: So is this all about a clash of personalities?

> So is this all about a clash of personalities?

I searched for movie Joe Pesci's commits in github but I couldn't find any. He might have seemed successful because he's typecast in movies as a certain type of personality. Those particular personality traits didn't do his characters any good in the end in "Goodfellas" or "Casino", quite the opposite really.

Tesla X unfolds its Falcon wings, stumbles belatedly into the light

but why do people need electric cars anyway?

my lord and master Lewis Page told me that greenhouse gases and anthropogenic climate change are an evil lie by those demon scienticians and that i just need to pray on the altar of the internal combusion engine to have my sins redeemed!

Infosec lady flings sueball at Microsoft over 'gender discrimination'

Re: It's not really about asking for a raise....

> Still, she's said she's a victim so it must all be true.

I'll bet you're a hit with the ladies.

Bruce Schneier: 'We're in early years of a cyber arms race'

Re: We have met the enemy...

> You may have met your enemy, but I'm still waiting to meet the dingbat(s) who pretended Java was realtime, performant, secure, or indeed "write once, run anywhere." When said parties are met (and dealt with), we may rest briefly, safe in the knowledge of what has been done, before resuming with the advancement of mankind.

Oh look, it's yet another poster who doesn't know the difference between enterprise Java and applets from 15 years ago. Yeah if you run Java on the client side and install it from the GUI like some rube then you're going to get the Ask toolbar. At least in Java, strings are a first-class object. Meanwhile in the 21st century, all the so-called REAL programmers using C and C++ still fail to do basic bounds checking on their strings and then shrug as the stack gets smashed.

Mumsnet founder 'swatted by misogynist griefers'

If this had been news of a pick-up-artist or an MRA getting swatted everyone in this thread would be in full pearl-clutching and couch-fainting mode. When it happens to some woman the bro-nasty populace of this site instead trips over itself looking for why swatting is justified or not really a crime or the victim doesn't really deserve the same rights as their ingroup. Pathetic.

Small number of computer-aided rifles could be hacked in contrived scenario

Wow, Lewis. Chill out. It's not like they claimed that there could be as such a thing as anthropogenic global warming or anything crazy and scientific like that.

Security tool bod's hell: People think I wrote code for Hacking Team!

Re: Regrets, he's had a few

Why should he have regrets? He hasn't killed anybody with it. The CIA DOES kill people with drones and they don't regret it :)

The Register's resident space boffin: All you need to know about the Pluto mission

Re: Quote of the Year

> "If Neptune had 'cleared' its zone, Pluto wouldn't be there."

no kidding, eh? i keep wondering if we're still talking about planets here or hockey players :)

150,000 angry Redditors demand Chairman Pao's head on a spike

Re: Headline not literal

> Given all the stories I've read recently about rape & death threats on the Internet, I had to wonder if the headline was literal. It's sad that it's completely within the realm of possibility that some Internet users would actually call for someone's head on a spike. Misleading headline is misleading.

Well, it's a bit of a "boy who cried wolf" effect. Reddit and imgur host a loud population of angry angry neckbeards who are perennially frustrated about the "friendzone" and "feminazis". We're so used to their sputtering sexism that when a woman comes along who may actually be reasonably criticized for poor performance at her job then the criticism from them becomes more suspicious than it would otherwise.

Lesson for up-and-coming master-debators: sometimes "poisoning the well" is a gift you give to yourself.

SAVE THE PLANKTON: So much more than whale food

What is this envi-RO-mentl FAGGOTRY doing on this site? I worship at the church of Lewis Page and Tim Worstall and believe that all environmentalists are evil hippies and that nuclear power plants are safe and never killed anybody never no how nor ever made large swaths of the earth uninhabitable and solar power plants and electric cars come from the DEVIL.

Fuck the plankton and fuck this gay Earth. I'M ROLLIN' COAL

ISS 'naut: How we collect our POO and DROP it FLAMING on hapless Earthlings

you bastard! i nearly suffered a catastrophic failure of laughter containment here at work.

Bored with Blighty? Relocation lessons for the data centre jetset

Re: Free Cooling!

Did that unnamed company see fit to mention that using Lake Ontario for water cooling was already a thing?

(http://www.enwave.com/district_cooling_system.html)

Of course if the red tape you're fighting is big enough and dumb enough then pointing out a precedent wouldn't help at all.

Tin-rattlers want to digitise lady engineers' historic exploits

>Remember: an Engineer is somebody who wares a hard hat for work. That's appears to be the message from the Register, and from WES too (see their website).

"I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?"

Re: Sexist shite

> Sexist shite

> So there's a society for recently-unemployed Booth Babes ?

> That's nice.

Lighten up, Francis.

China's BYD ramps up 'leccycar battery production in challenge to Tesla

Re: Sorry I had to...

> Is that pronounced Giga or Jiga?

just pronounce it any way you like and the good Lord will provide

*suddenly gets struck by lightning*

Grab your pitchforks: Ubuntu to switch to systemd on Monday

in some sense i've been on both sides of the "to systemd or not to systemd" fence in my own life. to wit: I used to only manually install windows updates and I used to slipstream the service packs on my own windows install CD-Rs. i felt like I could guarantee my computer's flawless operation by making a decision about each security patch and by reading its kb article. after about the 5th year and the 300th buffer overflow description I eventually said "fuck it" and went with automatic windows updates instead.

in a sense, an admin who is still grovelling through /etc/rc.d or init.d and adjusting runlevels with vi or the command line tools is already behind the 8-ball. better to do that for a bit, but then use cfengine, ansible, puppet, chef, or func to provision a VM based on its role and just nuke the VM if it comes out wrong. immutable infrastructure is where its at - or where its going to be for a while.

it'll make booting a little faster because it uses an optimized and centralized binary configuration in lieu of the old init scripts and runlevels. if you're not running a desktop and you want to tightly control the services on a server, their runlevels, and their start order, then that binary configuration will, at least initially, have a higher learning curve than the older, more comfortable init scripts.

The Rise of Islamic State, Touch and I Am Radar

Re: "Where did ISIS come from?"

I know that FX is probably scared of the legal ramifications but I can always dream of a quadruple ISIS crossover episode of Archer where Mallory Archer's staff, daesh, the defunct prog-metal band, and the Egyptian goddess all fight over that valuable trademark.

Iran hacks America where it hurts: Las Vegas casinos

Re: "the magnificent cultural institution"

> Read "the separating fools from their money institution".

that works. also valid: "the tax bureau for people who are bad at finite math and statistics"

It's not just the big boys either. I was planning on going to one of the off-strip casinos in Las Vegas but now it looks like I'll have to be damned careful about that too. Here's Affinity Gaming's data security notices for 2014 and 2013 right on the front page of the Silver Sevens Hotel & Casino website:

http://www.affinitygaming.com/datasecurityeventnotice.php

http://www.affinitygaming.com/datasecurityeventnotice2014.php

In this case, the baddies got credit card numbers too. Do I even want to know if there's going to be a datasecurityeventnotice2015.php coming soon? The year is young :}

UN negotiations menaced by topless women. Or not

if the topless ladies are emitting mayonnaise then IT'S A TRAP /admiralackbar

Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

We're going to surf Hale Bopp to heaven!

I love the picture of Jony and the rainbow circle gradient. Was the photoshopper who did it inspired by Marshall Applewhite/Do from Heaven's Gate I wonder?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/df/Marshall_Applewhite.jpg

Former Mrs Dotcom hooks up with Xbox 'toyboy'

less news about who's porkin' who and more news about IT. plz and thx.

HTTP/2 spec gets green light: Faster web or needless complexity?

Re: This says it all...

It doesn't matter where the Snowdens are. You saw what everybody did in response. They made some brief, loud disapproving noises and then slumped back into their Barca-Loungers and La-Z-Boys and shoved more episodes of Amurican Idull and Big Brother into their flaccid brain-holes.

You guys are smoking moldy banana peels if you take anything Poul-Henning Kamp says seriously. Guy thinks he's the Yngwee Malmsteen of data structures just because he found (or rediscovered) a novel tree structure to use in Varnish to reduce CPU cache thrashing in ten year old architectures. He's just upset because nginx slaps varnish's balls around like a rabid howler monkey and he won't do anything about it. (Doubly hilarious because nginx isn't a biiig evul corporashun for sheeple either. They're just so much better than him at everything he's ever wanted to do.)

To wit: https://bjornjohansen.no/caching-varnish-or-nginx

From the donkey's mouth: https://www.varnish-cache.org/docs/trunk/phk/ssl.html

Kanye West: Yo, DNS... Imma let you finish, but this gTLD is one of the best of all time

> Wow. Racist much?

Yes, people who point out racism are the real racists.

People who point out sexism are the real sexists.

People who point out horses at dressage events are THE REAL HORSES.

*neigh*

In this thread, we have the lily-white commentards of El Reg foaming at the mouth at the antics of the "uppity" "negro".

Don't worry boys, Kanye's not going to lynch you like your people lynched his people.

Kanye can disrupt a hundred fucking Grammy's for all I care. Whites keep stealing black people's music, making insipid versions of it, and then falling all over themselves to award each other awards for the most insipid, unoriginal knockoffs of it.

Twin Adam Sandlers shake El Reg's movie unwatchablathon team

your heart is in the right place but I don't think the professionals HAVE medicine to fix what's wrong with me

:)

Re: dogged, Uh..... no, I'm at work....

> Uh..... no, I'm at work.

> God, I dread to think about the "suggested images" on that one.

Understandable. If its any consolation, the images related aren't controversial. It mostly leads to search results with lots of copypastas and thread drama where someone inexplicably seems to be getting tumblr-sanctimonious about the suffering of a virtual (???) animal?

about this "unwatchablathon" thing... (by the way my compliments on that portmanteau 'unwatchablathon' (it's a veritable 'hapax legomenon' for El Reg as per Google!)) has anyone here watched The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle starring Robert DeNiro (?????) yet? May I suggest it as fodder for any future unwatchablathons?

in defense of Jack and Jill:

1. it has a clever blink-and-you'll-miss-it dig at Tom Cruise

Notice when Katie Holmes denies that she changed her religion when she married Jack how defensive she is? That HAS to be a dig at her ex-husband Cruise and the CoS.

2. the special effect of the cockatoo bathing in the chocolate fountain lead to awards for the VFX company involved and a hilarious tumblr meme.

Google "listen here cumslut" and all will be revealed.

Wanted: Brit Facebook and Twitter trolls for counter-jihad psyops

Re: Tomorrow, people?

> We're getting a British Army PsiOps unit? That's so bad-ass.

Sigh. Why must you tease me? A secret unit of Scanners that make jihadists head a splode from a distance would be so much cooler than a secret unit of desk pilots posting LOL U SUX on a jihadist message board.

Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Hey, to bring things back to Ben Affleck: anyone else here obsessed with Reindeer Games? This movie tried to be so clever and Charlize Theron was rocking the no-makeup look with excellence here. The cast was pretty packed between Gary Sinise, AFLAC, Charlize Theron, and Dennis Farina. Yet somehow the movie bombed like a Stuka.

Personally, I thought the various Santa deaths should've been more gory. It wouldn't have taken much to have turned that movie into a warped Christmas classic on par with the first Die Hard. Oh well.

Re: I should not have

true story:

My manager at a former job said he liked funny movies so I told him I had a funny movie that he could borrow called "Freddy Got Fingered". When he gave it back to me he practically stuffed into my chest while scowling poisonously. "What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Why did he do that to that deer? What the hell is wrong with YOU?". GodDAMN it was so worth it :) I was never going to have a long career there anyway.

Re: Soo... Battlefield earth...

oh c'mon, they showed them faffing around in the simulators for all of 30 seconds. surely that was enough!

Re: Computer Games Movies

One of the most favorable reviews I've ever heard of the Wing Commander movie came from a friend's girlfriend after we left the theater: "I haven't slept so well in a long time!" Now I'm getting wistful thinking of pre-terrible-cosmetic-surgery Saffron Burrows who was in that pile of dreck with Matthew Lillard and Freddie Prinze Jr. What might've been but for some body image issues. Sigh.

Elon Musk: Wanna see a multimillion-dollar rocket EXPLODE? WATCH THIS

at least there can be no doubt as to the location of the kaboom.

there really was an earth-shattering kaboom!

Kiss your Glass goodbye: Google mothballs techno-specs (for now)

the killer app that could've been

You know what would've made me interested in Google Glass? A pedestrian-friendly minimap. How cool would it have been if you could give it a destination and then have arrows "projected" in front of you to follow to get to it? I've used Google Maps on my phone while walking on city streets with reasonable success but that always carries the risk of having a collision while you're glancing down to the phone. If you could've had translucent arrows guiding you in Google Glass instead - THAT would've been a killer app.

It's hacker jihad: Islamist skiddies square up to Anonymous

OH NO THEY DI-INT

you do NOT fuck with notepad++. i love notepad++ so much i donated to them last year.

these skiddies, whoever they are, just earned my undying antipathy. (i know i kind of made it just sound like i care about programs more than people but... yeah, i'll cop to that).

i gon donate to them again. fuck a skiddie. in the ear.

Silicon Valley WAGE-FIX: Tech firms mull new deal to kill staff lawsuit

Re: No settlement, EVER....

> All these companies need to be fined by at least 10% of revenue and there needs to be full legislation > against their employment "Cabal" ever raising its ugly head again.

I have no idea who downvoted you but to whoever that person is: please do the game-theoretical "right thing" and defect from the sad dilemma you've imprisoned yourself in. Whatever money you're getting thrown on AMZN mTurk or elance to do pro-bigcorp vote brigading and shilling is chicken-feed compared to what you could make in a job market where salary-fixing cartels are regularly exposed and punished. Just do a MOOC or a codecademy course. Get an education and get an honest job. Stop shilling and get on our level.

You have nothing to lose but your chains!

Suits vs ponytailed hipsters: What's next for enterprise IT

we've killed the word "hipster". we've killed it so dead. when a slight preference for certain types of deployment technologies can make you a hipster then every damn thing is a hipster.

What was it Syndrome said in The Incredibles again? "When everyone's a hipster... NO ONE will be."

No, the Linux leap second bug WON'T crash the web

Re: Time lords in Paris

> She's bigger on the inside than the outside?

Have you ever thrown a hotdog down a hallway?

Ever park your VW Beetle in a zeppelin hangar?

Intel offers big bucks for black women

My impression of the average redditor^WEl Reg commentard:

*commentard's 19-man, 1-woman IT shop hires another woman, becomes 19-man, 2-woman IT shop*

commentard: "OH MY STARS AND GARTERS the number of women at my workplace just went up 100% in a single day! THE PENDULUM HAS SWUNG TOO FAR. TEH WHITE MANS is an ENDANGERED SPECIES. I'm going to have to tamp down my puerile patter of dick jokes and Star Wars references to a DULL ROAR."

Re: What about male under-represented career fields?

Nurses have to clean up blood, puke, and other body fluids. Elementary schoolteachers have to corral screaming children and mark assignments after work. In the United States elementary schoolteachers frequently pay for their classes' school supplies from their own pocket.

IT workers can spend the day in chairs in air-conditioned offices and have more upward career mobility than either of those two women-dominated occupations.

Tell me: as a man, if you are a man, in all honesty, would a million dollar campaign be enough to blind you to these facts about these jobs and make you switch careers?

I don't know why all of you are so dead-set against efforts to get more women into IT jobs. You lot have been convinced and pressured by your bosses to spend so much time at work that the only way you're ever going to MEET any women is at the workplace.

Finnish bank takes cricket bat to wave after wave of DDoS varmints

ITT OP IS A FA...

had to check what site I was on for a second.

Ofcom mulls selling UK govt's IPv4 cache amid IPv6 rollout flak

* hits self in head *

d'oh, I see from several google search results it's to get around throttling. slowpoke.jpg goes here.

are there any uTorrent users noticing that a LOT of their peers have IPv6 addresses? it's usually more than half for me. is there any technical or cultural reason for that? hell, I guess I'm part of it too because I got myself an HE 6to4 tunnel, set it up on my router, just so I could try for their free certificate.

google is ipv6, fark is ipv6, i kind of wish El Reg was but all in good time, 4chan WAS all ipv6 through cloudflare but I heard it made bans harder. i think their CDN is still ipv6 though? need to check the IPvFoo extension again when I'm at home.