* Posts by Donkey Molestor X

127 publicly visible posts • joined 7 May 2014


Linux.org domain hacked, plastered with trolling, filth and anti-transgender vandalism

Donkey Molestor X

Destroy All Mosnters: are you trying to justify hatred against trans persons and vandalism of a website because a transgender person beat somebody else up in an MMA fight?

That is incredibly childish.

If you are really committed to hatred of trans persons I urge you to put your money where your mouth is and dash your smartphone on the floor. After all, you wouldn't want to be any where near the ARM instruction architecture once you find out that Sophie Wilson, it's designer, was born Roger Wilson.

IPv6: It's only NAT-ural that network nerds are dragging their feet...

Donkey Molestor X

guess who has fifteen psuedopodia and got 17/20 on ipv6-test.com?

funny that folks are getting riled up about IPv6 again because i just got an IPv6 address on my home router after my last reboot. i'm getting 17/20 on ipv6-test.com. i can see regmedia.co.uk coming over IPv6 in IPvFoo. Guess I don't need my HE tunnel anymore. And my mobile phones have been getting IPv6 addresses over LTE for at least a year now.

It's not all fun and games being behind CGNAT. Just wait until you get blacklisted from a service because of something that someone else did who shares or shared your public IPv4 address did. You won't be praising IPv4 after that, I'll bet.

I got banned from 4chan once completely innocently because some other miscreant behind my public IPv4 was a bad boy/girl. And then I couldn't post memes and that made me sad. Yes, I'm too cheap to get a VPN.

Dirty COW redux: Linux devs patch botched patch for 2016 mess

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Huh?

> There's no language, methodology, tool or analyser that can stop code having bugs.

You are suffering from a basic confusion. You believe that just because you have never and will never take a systematic approach to software safety that that somehow implies that anybody else taking a systematic approach to software safety is doomed to failure. Either that or you're peddling the old dodge that a methodology or technology that only solves SOME of the problems instead of literally ALL the problems ever is absolutely worthless.

"Bugs happen!", you say, while chuckling, and then you, and everybody else who thinks like you, gleefully inflict them on others.

It's like finding a car dealer who only sells Ford Pintos and then, when a steady stream of maimed and burnt customers shamble back in says "Ford Pintos are perfectly safe! All you have to do is never let anybody crash into your car from behind! Man, I'm sure exhausted from solving all the problems!"

SpaceX 'raises' an extra 100 million bucks to get His Muskiness to Mars

Donkey Molestor X

Andrew Silver, this is article is low effort trolling.

Andrew Silver, this is article is low effort trolling.

Seriously, putting "scare quotes" around "completed"?

The ghost of Lewis Page is going to greet you tonight and hit you in your dick and balls with a ball-peen hammer!

Some 'security people are f*cking morons' says Linus Torvalds

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Can't disagree..

> Otherwise, frankly, the Linux community will start experiencing the joys that Windows customers have lived with for years, basically the user and business community being their beta testers and the "out the door now, we'll fix it later" mentality.

Hahahaha! You think Linux users aren't already involuntarily deputized testers? Try installing a new kernel update the day it comes out on a (hopefully not production) server. Watch all kinds of shit that you never thought could break suddenly break.

Screaming swears at your scurrying minions like Linus is NOT a software development lifecycle.

Munich council: To hell with Linux, we're going full Windows in 2020

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Libre Office formatting vs MS Office

> The Numpties that run our IT dept have put a rule in place that stops me disabling OneDrive. When I'm travelling, I'd have to connect to the internet, fire up the corporate VPN, login and then connect to OneDrive just to refresh the list of recent documents.

There's one piece of information that you could tell us that would determine whether this is a good idea or a bad idea. Does your work laptop support AND have full drive encryption? If you're not using full drive encryption and you forget your laptop in an airport bathroom or it "disappears" from your luggage then locally stored work documents become a HUGE problem for your employer compared to your personal annoyance of learning OneDrive.

Don't worry about those 40 Linux USB security holes. That's not a typo

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Wasn't that the primadonna maintainer project

> Hmm... Wasn't that the primadonna maintainer which could not stand Linus blowouts? That figures.

Given Linus's track record, the maintainer was probably punished for pointing out and trying to fix security holes. Linus is famous for his disrespect of security researchers, considering them no better than "masturbating monkeys" - his words not mine.

He also thinks that people who displease him should have the brake lines on their cars cut. He's pretty sick like that.

Linus's apathetic attitude to security concerns is a tax that every computer user gets to pay - every time another Linux-enabled piece of IoT crapware DDoSes the 'net to oblivion.

IoT botnet Linux.ProxyM turns its grubby claws to spam rather than DDoS

Donkey Molestor X

do not ask for whom the monkey masturbates

Let's all give a round of applause to Linus Torvalds for declaring that security researchers are a bunch of "masturbating monkeys". He's made this and many other "SQL Slammer" moments not only possible but inevitable in his toy OS.

Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

Donkey Molestor X

Re: That clip about them furreners stealing jobs..

> It's funny, but I noticed that people who talk that way seem never that inclined to actually accept the job of the person they accuse of stealing it. Weird.

Hey, you don't know my life! I was totally going to accept that job of picking strawberries for pennies a day until someone stole it from me!

Petition calls for Adobe Flash to survive as open source zombie

Donkey Molestor X



Let Lord_Beavis die. At least you can play free, fun games with Flash. The only fun, free games I can play with Lord_Beavis are games with his stinking, rotten corpse.

Gone daddy gone: GoDaddy offloads its cloud businesses

Donkey Molestor X


> Seriously, what the fuck is any of this stuff.

I wouldn't brag too much about not knowing AWS products or not knowing about new technologies in general. If you don't keep up with the times you could get left behind. Then you'll be another sad sack in the comments, complaining that they "took your job" and gave it to somebody in Hyderabad.

(I always thought that people should "do" their jobs, not "have" their jobs but whatever.)

Create a user called '0day', get bonus root privs – thanks, Systemd!

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Where are they?

> There seems to be a distinct lack of posts from angry systemd defenders in this thread. I wonder why.

We're waiting for one of you drooling systemd haters to hold Linus's spaghetti code to the same standards. I think we'll be waiting a long time.


Lok Technologies , a San Jose, Calif.-based maker of networking gear, started out using Linux in its equipment but switched to OpenBSD four years ago after company founder Simon Lok, who holds a doctorate in computer science, took a close look at the Linux source code.

“You know what I found? Right in the kernel, in the heart of the operating system, I found a developer’s comment that said, ‘Does this belong here?’ “Lok says. “What kind of confidence does that inspire? Right then I knew it was time to switch.”

GitHub flub spaffs 8Tracks database, 18 million accounts leaked

Donkey Molestor X

> To me the big question is why the content of the database was ever on Github. Structure, sure, I get that. But the records inside?

I'm guessing that the dev got complacent and started treating a remote repo like a personal disk volume.

Linus Torvalds slams 'pure garbage' from 'clowns' at Grsecurity

Donkey Molestor X

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

If there is a way to defeat an entire class of errors (heap-stack collisions) would it not make more sense to implement it than play whack-a-mole in one piece of code at a time? Rather than writing it off as "pure garbage" just because you don't personally like the source of the fix?

I guess Linus's attitude is good for the security industry as security researchers get to find the same vuln. in program after program and pretend they're doing original research each time. As long as it is the users who pay the price what does he care?

SpaceX spin-out plans to put virtual machines in orbit

Donkey Molestor X

one hot use case coming up

here's why you want a vm on a satellite ya cucks:


say you have an sdr and you have firmware updating software and drivers installed on a vm on the satellite. you do some experiment or run some test that needs certain characteristics from the sdr. then you test a new one with your vm on the ground. when you get it the way you want you just upload the image to the satellite and you can update the firmware updating software which updates the sdr knowing that you tested the whole deal on the ground.

Oracle hatches 'incubator' OpenJDK APIs idea

Donkey Molestor X

foot, meet bullet?

hey, if Oracle WANTS to scare people away from its enterprisey, bloated, cash cow programming language, far be it for us to stop them!

they can keep Java. i'd rather write Python anyway

Penguins force-fed root: Cruel security flaw found in systemd v228

Donkey Molestor X

> I wish its creator have never been born, though - or at least gets to one of the more unpleasant corners of hell once he is no longer with us.

Linus, is that you?

> Unfortunately, it is by now impossible to avoid this abomination if you have to stick with a major distribution.

Write up a costs/benefits analysis for your employer. If you can prove that the business is losing money in sysadmin labour-hours dealing with systemd then maybe you can switch.

AI and robots? Will someone think of the jobs, says HPE CEO Whitman

Donkey Molestor X

don't you believe it

a universal income robot utopia isn't in our cards. when has humanity ever planned? when has humanity ever restrained itself? nope, everybody is going to have a job in the future: hacking other people's computers and preventing their computers from being hacked by everybody else. the future will be Hobbes promised war of all against all. nature, red in tooth and claw, in bit and byte :)

'F*cking crap' aside, Linus Torvalds says Linux 4.9 is coming along nicely

Donkey Molestor X

> Sigh... I wish we had a Linus here at work. Someone willing to call a spade a spade and weed out the stupid crap.

We actually do, but he's a Snr. VP and by the time things get to him, they're already too deeply screwed.

See the cute thing about this sentiment is that you think your crap isn't the stupid crap that will get weeded out. I'll bet if Linus was actually at your workplace, he'd run a goddamned train on you, and you would go crying to HR to make the bad man go away before you piss your trousers in dismay.

ESMA urges companies to disclose potential Brexit impact

Donkey Molestor X

i got your risk right here you Yuropeein' sons of bitches:

there is a risk that due to the hojillions of pounds of cash no longer being paid to Crooked EU that the savings will all be plowed into the NHS and blow the UK into Superland!

Helpful illustration of Superland included herewith:


Dirty COW explained: Get a moooo-ve on and patch Linux root hole

Donkey Molestor X

Re: But I thought Linux was the height of security

> *laughs*

> Yeah, clearly.

> And with Linus swearing about people writing crappy code, then this happens... Oh the irony.

didn't you get the memo from The Register Linus Fellation Brigade? you should NEVER develop systematically and you should NEVER automate regression testing. you never blame the defective system or defective processes. just blame whatever developer fights back the least from your bullying.

all you need is to get yourself a project manager who is a foul-mouthed Finnish butter-troll to swear incoherently at your developers whenever the heinous spaghetti code fails!

just do the opposite of everything discussed in this article (https://www.fastcompany.com/28121/they-write-right-stuff?show_rev_content) and then throw your shitty OS over the fence to cause trillions of dollars of damage in the real world.

it's the Linus way!

May blocked plans to bring in more Indian IT workers – Vince Cable

Donkey Molestor X

> The immigration problem from the sub-continent is not skilled IT people from Bangalore and Hyderabad, but unskilled from Mirpur near Kashmiri India. Many sadly marry 1st cousins and most end up driving taxis

ToddR, if you think a British taxi driver is in danger of losing their job to somebody from Mirpur whose parents were 1st cousins and gave his scrambled chromosomes - then maybe that British taxi driver isn't a very good taxi driver, hmm?

The exploding Note 7 is no surprise – leaked Samsung doc highlights toxic internal culture

Donkey Molestor X

based on the level of profanity alluded to in this article, all of the Linus fanboys on this site should be champing at the bit to go work for Samsung. or is being insulted and degraded only enjoyable when it's done by a schlubby Finnish autist who excretes non-functioning kernel releases full of buffer overflow and use-after-free exploits?

Windows updates? Just trust us, says Microsoft executive

Donkey Molestor X

Re: El Reg sat down with....? Wow!

whoever from MS sat down with somebody from El Reg probably knows that most people who threaten to "leave Macro$$$uck 4evar" are just the loud minority and that they aren't worth the attention.

i'm practically a philanthro-fucking-pist for endeavouring to do so, right now:

easily 99% of you who say that Windows 10 is the last straw said that about Vista and said that about Windows 95. then you moved to Linux and then tried to listen to an mp3 or print a file or read a Word document or, I don't know, LOCK YOUR SCREEN, and it fucked up in some incredibly esoteric or stupid way.

you think i'm going to show my fucking parents the difference between Xfce or GNOME or KDE and play "find the start bar" for them or "what fucking workspace am I in now?" you think I'm going to explain the difference between an rpm, tgz, or deb? if you hate microsoft so much, YOU fucking do all that shit for me, for free. your payment will be the ineffable, warm-and-fuzzy joy you get knowing that you're "really sticking it to" a multimillion dollar company by sacrificing hours a week playing BOFH: The Home Game.

Dumb fucks.

Linus Torvalds admits 'buggy crap' made it into Linux 4.8

Donkey Molestor X

I wish we could get Linus to read this article about the programmers who wrote software for the Space Shuttle.


The tl;dr is 1) have a collegial but firewalled and adversial relationship with QA. When they stop a buggy release and detect a new bug, they win, and they want to win. 2) don't blame the developer who did the bug, blame the meta-bug in your system that tolerated the bug's creation. Fix that meta-bug and you've got a better pipeline and you don't just stop that specific occurence but reduce the chances of future occurences of said bug.

Maybe buggy Linux kernels can't kill seven astronauts like buggy Space-Shuttle code could've but the economic damage they CAN do needs to be used to make a business case. The business case is to create a build pipeline optimized for success rather than blame-passing, personal humiliation, and scatalogical vituperation.

SpaceX searches for its 'grassy knoll' of possible Falcon rocket sabotage

Donkey Molestor X

watergate must've seemed far fetched at the time too

While I also want to withhold judgment on this theory it does remind me of a previous scandal:

Watergate must've seemed far-fetched at the time too.

"Why would Nixon's cronies orchestrate a bungled burglary at the campaign offices of the Democratic party?"

"Why would they then break into the offices of an adversial lawyer's psychiatrist looking for dirt?"

"How could the optics of having hours of crazy paranoid recordings but THEN having an 18-minute gap in them not be understood to be terrible?"

"How can you order the deputy attorney general to fire the special prosecutor in charge of the case and not think that would give off a bad smell? - a smell amplified by the subsequent resignation of the deputy attorney general and the attorney general in protest?"

It all seems crazy when summarized like that but, in hindsight, all that crazy shit took place! Some powerful, otherwise intelligent people, decided that that would be a winning game plan!

So, yeah, I gotta say I'm pretty interested in how this SpaceX/ULA thing shakes out.

SpaceX's used flight-proven rocket to loft Euro satellite this year

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Flight Proven

...enough hot air in that phraseology that they can use it for a RCS thruster?

...enough waffle in that phraseology that they can use it for a grid fin?

wakka wakka

Having offended everyone else in the world, Linus Torvalds calls own lawyers a 'nasty festering disease'

Donkey Molestor X

Re: So?

counterpoint: ken and dmr built Unix, the very system he has made a mere clone of, and they managed to build it without being assholes.

counterpoint the 2nd: Eldon Hall, Margaret Hamilton, et al. working on the AGC weren't fucking assholes and nevertheless the Apollo missions were wildly successful.

assholery is neither a necessary, nor sufficient condition for genius. Linus will be bypassed when more people see through the bullshit and understand that Linux succeeds despite him and not because of him.

Oh... mention to him how he wouldn't have anything around the kernel without the FSF and watch him blow steam out of his ears. That can be fun.

Donkey Molestor X

I wonder if he has the same scorn of the lawyers that IBM gamefully paid for to fight off SCO. Nobody in the Linux business would have a pot to piss in if they hadn't had their own 800-lb. gorilla to save them that time.

I would love it if Intel, Red Hat, and everyone else that pays kernel devs to put up with his abuse just forked the kernel and let Linus break his toys and kick and cry by himself in his playpen.

Patch ASAP: Tons of Linux apps can be hijacked by evil DNS servers, man-in-the-middle miscreants

Donkey Molestor X

Re: I'll bet...

aww the poor Lintard babies had to downvote your post. a little bit too much reality for them. when the revolution comes you little Lintards will be the first against the wall. actually, a firing squad is too good for you. we'll just stick you in an elevator whose microcontroller has had its software written to exacting GLoonix Open Sores standards. (i.e.: code written by twisted sycophantic knob-polishers running around like headless chickens avoiding the retarded vituperation of that quadruple chinned Finnish bloatwagon named Loonis)

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Not Good

Don't you know? REAL programmers don't need to bounds checking. Getting screamed at by Linus in the LKML is totally a reasonable substitute for secure coding standards and processes.

iPhones clock-blocked and crocked by setting date to Jan 1, 1970

Donkey Molestor X

oh noes my ZUNE got bricked by the leap year!!!!!

wait a minute... this is an iphone?

2038 can't come soon enough

Microsoft: Yes, we are going to kill off Enterprise Agreements

Donkey Molestor X

Re: This lube&fukkery promotion can't die soon enough

you told him dawg?

Is that you, Hella Jeff?

Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Donkey Molestor X

cute strawman. maybe try this exercise again with corn, potatoes, and chickpeas.

in the post-scarcity future we'll all just have food-grade, high-speed 3d printers anyway. it'll be like the replicators in star trek. not even the plants will need to get hurt for our daily bread.

CloudFlare intros HTTP/2, so we can ‘spend holiday time with our family’

Donkey Molestor X

HTTP2SP1RC3? Sounds like you've sprinkled CRISPR/Cas9 on your HTTP RFCs. Are you trying to genesplice an abomination?

IETF's older white men urged to tone it down

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Important RFCs by women ?

if software is a meritocracy then the metric for measuring merit is:

How many new Javascript frameworks can be excreted into github per week.

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Oh, for fuck's sake.

> It's a fucking meritocracy!

> the software industry:

> meritocracy

> contains and tolerates major websites made with PHP and JavaScript


Donkey Molestor X

I think we can all agree that the Linux Kernel Mailing List is a social cesspool as far as manners and comportment are concerned. It's too bad that with a minimal amount of research you can discover that, despite the prevailing belief among the commentards of El Reg, being an asshole is not positively correlated with code quality:


"... I started to feel a little embarrassed by what we have as our own [Linux] kernel. The more I looked at the [OpenSolaris] code, the more it felt like it pretty much did everything the Linux kernel has been trying to do for ages. Not only that, but it's built like an aircraft, whereas ours looks like a garage job with duct tape by comparison..."

Donkey Molestor X

listen... dude... just listen.... listen to yourself.

this is what you sound like:

feminists: the culture in IT is hostile to women

el reg commentard: oh my God how could those feminazi bitches say that the culture in IT is hostile to women? those evil fucking bitches dare to say that we're hostile to women? fuck those stupid whores!

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Important RFCs by women ?

y'all motherfuckers talking about meritocracy and all you can do is write C code with no bounds checking or CRUD apps full of injection exploits.

if there was a real meritocracy in software half the commentards in El Reg would be on the fucking street

Donkey Molestor X

that's a nice strawman, comparing people who are fighting for social justice with people who believe in a flat earth.

let me guess, your definition of "oppression" is having to hear somebody SUGGEST that maybe people born with natural advantages should try giving a shit about people who don't have it so hot for maybe two seconds out of their precious fucking lives.

poor baby. go back to your hugbox on /pol/ and try not to go on any shooting sprees.

Finding security bugs on the road to creating a verifiably secure TLS lib

Donkey Molestor X

it's cynics like you that make me happy you're working on some CRUD app and not designing a bridge or a ignition shaft detente. the term "software engineer" can't die soon enough for me.

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Invisible features

or as motorcyclists say, "You dress for the crash, not for the ride."

Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Its the wrong way to get off this planet

i would hope that someday some eccentric rich person puts a Gauss-gun type mass driver up the side of a mountain near the equator and pointing east. that could give a payload a substantial boost, maybe even allow a rocket to reach orbit with one less stage.

Cement company in sacks out for the lads rumpus

Donkey Molestor X

Re: Are you guys for real?

> If you still need someone to spell it out for you, ask your daughter, wife or sister.

To ask their daughter, wife, or sister, the vast majority of men who comment on this site would have to first CARE about their daughter, wife, or sister. /g/, /pol/, and /r9k/ are leaking and the quality of the Reg forums are poorer for it. redpilled, former "nice guys" as far as the eye can see.

they hate feminists and wish they would "lighten up" but as soon as they see a picture of a woman drinking from a cup labelled "Male Tears" they start crying to doxx her and going "dat means jizz buhuhuhuh"

guys, let me break it down for you. you didn't get the date because you were "too nice". you didn't get the date because you were too ugly. try to be less repulsive to the opposite sex. she doesn't want to know about your Figma collection. do a fucking sit-up, maybe a fucking push-up. the girl you had a crush on was beautiful, not ugly, right? so, if you want to be desired it would probably be a good idea to be handsome, not ugly.

Linus Torvalds targeted by honeytraps, claims Eric S. Raymond

Donkey Molestor X

Wait ... is the waiter a man or a woman?

That depends. Are you anonymous or are you a coward?

Donkey Molestor X

Man has a full glass of water. Woman has an empty glass of water.

Waiter comes along and pours water in the woman's empty glass.

Man who deliberately and disingenously misunderstands the purpose of feminism says "hey I want you to pour as much water into my glass as you poured into her glass".

After the poor man fusses and moans long enough the waiter just relents and pours water into the man's already full glass which instantly overflows and spills all over the table.

Am I getting through to you?

Donkey Molestor X

Re: The feminist movement has evolved into something indistinguishable from mental illness

The treatment that Adria Richards received was completely disproportionate to the unnamed donglejoker. Her personal information and her father's personal information was posted on 4chan and she was deluged with death threats and bullshit. It is incredibly vile how the mostly male abusers play the victim but the mostly male commenters of El Reg eat it right up. This thread is just one huge circlejerky testament to that fact.

Linus Torvalds fires off angry 'compiler-masturbation' rant

Donkey Molestor X

you make ken and dmr sad

got a thought for y'all:

Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie did the real heavy lifting by designing and building the original Unix.

They managed to do this without being assholes.

So why does anybody think you need to be an asshole just to make a mere copy of Unix?

Donkey Molestor X

wow, we got all the balls in the world in this thread.

you guys all talk a big game about how you would go "yes, linus, may i please have another?".

if he were actually your boss you would either complain or you would just walk off the job.

what are any of you actually complaining about? moving bounds checking and overflow checking to the compiler using special functions? if your difficulty with that is that it is not in the C spirit of things i'll certainly cop to that. the C way of doing things is to never bounds check and leak resources everywhere and let your stack get smashed because "real" programmers certainly never check their math more than once.

this is why you are all being replaced by Indians who do the work for 1/10th the salary and 0/10ths of the ego.