* Posts by Glenturret Single Malt

287 posts • joined 30 Apr 2014


Beware the fresh Windows XP install: Failure awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Alternatives are good.

On the theme of self-inflicted pain: pouring liquid nitrogen from thermos flasks, you might occasionally splash some on bare hands but without damage as it evaporates so quickly. However, if some of the liquid gets trapped even briefly under a ring on your finger or a wristwatch or is absorbed into the cuff of a shirt or jumper that you are wearing, excruciating pain may result.

Someone got so fed up with GE fridge DRM – yes, fridge DRM – they made a whole website on how to bypass it

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Advertent FUD

AND: the frequency of deaths from heart disease is lower in hard water areas than soft.

UK.gov announces review – not proper inquiry – into Fujitsu and Post Office's Horizon IT scandal

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Sigh of Relief

"Or something with boiling oil..." (The Mikado)

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Thoughts and prayers

In recent weeks, I have seen the word "gaslighting" used a lot. What does it mean?

For the price tag, this iPad Pro keyboard better damn well be Magic: It isn't... but it's not completely useless either

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: A pokey terraced house in Middlesborough for a month

I lived in Durham for a couple of years in the 70s and travelled all round the county but until I read this article I had never heard of Teeside parmo.

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

Glenturret Single Malt

Surely every husband of any worth washes the dishes from time to time, With the mixed cutlery in the sink and the tap running to rinse off food remains. And why is there always a spoon lying just where the jet from the tap meets the sink surface. Result, water spraying everywhere and caustic derisory comments from certain other quarters.

Microsoft doc formats are the bane of office suites on Linux, SoftMaker's Office 2021 beta may have a solution

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Softmaker

I am glad to echo your comments about SoftMaker office but, unfortunately, hyphenation can only be switched off for the document you are currently working on, Permanent switch-off is not possible using the settings menu.

Glenturret Single Malt

> you'll be stuck with the version you buy, no annual updates.

I have been using SoftMaker 2018 for Windows at home (not a business) for several years now (and am currently testing the beta versions of SO2021). From time to time (for SO 2018 and its predecessors), I get an update at no additional cost. Formerly, this had to be downloaded and installed manually but nowadays it happens automatically.

I also notice the following on the SoftMaker website:

"Includes a free upgrade to SoftMaker Office Professional 2021 upon its release."

I do not stretch the capabilities of the different programs to the limit and have found no problems of compatibility with Word or Excel either sending or receiving.

We're in a timeline where Dettol maker has to beg folks not to inject cleaning fluid into their veins. Thanks, Trump

Glenturret Single Malt

Bleach is strongly alkaline, not acidic. Just as nasty when in contact with the human body.

Vivaldi browser to perform a symphony of ad and tracker blocking with version 3.0

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I'll have to give it a go on Android.

It should but, in practise, I have not found it to be very good when looking for UK-based returns.

Facebook sort-of blocks anti-quarantine events – how many folks are actually behind these 'massive' protests online?

Glenturret Single Malt

Scotland's secret bunker:


Getting a pizza the action, AS/400 style

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: A real pizza

I come to a skidding halt in the first line. Russets are apples.

Mayday! Mayday! The next Windows 10 update is finally on approach to a PC near you

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: It's Micro$oft ...

My 1994 edition of Chambers Dictionary has second to none defined as "supreme, best, unsurpassed".

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: It's Micro$oft ...

Second to none means that there is nothing better (or ahead of every other rival).

The exact opposite of what you said.

This hurts a ton-80: British darts champ knocked out of home tourney by lousy internet connection

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: A home tournament ?

oche (but pronounced as you wrote)

A paper clip, a spool of phone wire and a recalcitrant RS-232 line: Going MacGyver in the wonderful world of hotel IT

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Portakabins in Schools were "temporary" also.

Also post WWII prefabs as "temporary" housing in areas that had suffered badly in the blitz. In my home town, they were still there when I was going to school in the 50s.

Cloudflare outage caused by techie pulling out the wrong cables

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Cables with labels on

I haven't read all the way to the end of the comments on this thread but I am surprised that no one has mentioned the possibility that the labels could all be white and the the function is denoted by a shape. I am sure most people who drive in the UK will have seen the diversion signs or signs guiding you to a specific location which are usually yellow with black squares, circles, dots etc.

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Glenturret Single Malt

I am the treasurer of a small voluntary organisation with a reasonably sized accumulated reserve in the bank. In order to pay our bills I send a cheque but, for security, the bank requires one of two other named office-bearers to countersign it. How does this work with internet banking?

Remember that clinical trial, promoted by President Trump, of a possible COVID-19 cure? So, so, so many questions...

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: It's not LOW and behold, people


Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Donald Jenius Trump

Your probability calculations are correct but only if the individuals in the samples are all identical. Any such sample has to take account of other human variables such as age, sex, height and weight, general state of health etc. etc, which means that the sample has to be significantly larger in order to be meaningful.

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Vax keeps sucking

Nothing to do with sucking but I was seriously tempted to vandalism by the notice outside the local Baptist church proclaiming "Jesus Saves", I wanted to add "With Nationwide"

Disk stuck in the drive? Don't dilly-Dali – get IT on the case!

Glenturret Single Malt

Chemical fun

As a PhD student in the distant past, I had a still set up to give me supplies of extra dry solvent. Each morning, I switched this on and it would gradually heat up and bubble away until I had enough solvent for my needs. Until the morning that I forgot to switch on the water on the condenser whereupon hot vapour emerged from the top just beneath the heat sensor on the ceiling. I had disappeared to the gents for my morning call and was caught, ahem, with my pants down when I heard the sound of the fire alarm followed shortly by the fire brigade who had been called automatically. Fortunately nothing actually caught fire and the situation was remedied by turning on the water at the condenser.

'An issue of survival': Why Mozilla welcomes EU attempts to regulate the internet giants

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: If you want to see this in action.

"last month Google maps became unusable on Firefox"

I do not understand the comment. I am using FF 73.0.1 and Google maps without any problems.

Social media notifications of the future: Ranger tagged you in a photo with Tessadora, Wrenlow, Faelina and Graylen

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Due diligence

Another story from the distant past seen in the Sunday Post (a Scottish newspaper) concerned a shopowner whose shop had the name A Swindler in front. When asked why he didn't put his full name to avoid confusion, he said that his name was Adam.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Due diligence

An old story that I may have dug out before but I once saw an article in The Times about an engaged couple called Tracy ........ and Mr ....... Tracey.

Bada Bing, bada bork: Windows 10 is not happy, and Microsoft's search engine has something to do with it

Glenturret Single Malt

George W Bush lives

I see that the problem has been "remediated". When was it mediated? There's a syllable too many - what's wrong with remedied? Sounds like the comedians on Radio 4 mocking the late, great Dubya.

Tea tipplers are more likely to live longer, healthier lives than you triple venti pumpkin-syrup soy-milk latte-swilling fiends

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Sold as seen

The smell of herbal tea is its only attractive feature in my experience.

'Buyer's remorse' drove HP's legal crusade to go after Lynch, High Court told

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Re: Sold as seen













Language, eh!

50 years ago, someone decided it would be OK to fire Apollo 12 through a rain cloud. Awks, or just 'SCE to Aux'?

Glenturret Single Malt

Since carbon fibre is graphite and at least partially conductive, balls of diamond might be preferable. Or, perhaps even more appropriately, balls made of buckminsterfullerene, C60 (don't know how to get subscript here) which is, of course, the "football" molecule. But it hadn't been discovered fifty years ago.

Traffic lights worldwide set to change after Swedish engineer saw red over getting a ticket

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Pedant alert

Scientific definition of a split second: the time between the light changing to green (you are the front of the queue) and the driver behind hitting the horn.

Action to be taken: get out of your car and go slowly round it while asking the driver behind if there is a problem with your car.

A trio of boffins scoop the Nobel Prize in physics for the first exoplanet discovery and big bang model

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: We have signed emails

The subheading on the article is correct but in the daily digest I receive, it says that the two lesser prizewinners "share" a quarter so that only threequarters of a Nobel prize is accounted for.

Careful now, UK court ruling says email signature blocks can sign binding contracts

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: We have signed emails

That takes me back a bit to when we learned the synthesis of ecdysone in final year chemistry.

Microsoft spreads the Cortana love to more Insiders with new Windows 10 preview

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Cortana: tell me a joke. No, I don't mean the terms and conditions...

It tickled your funny bone?

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned

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Re: Let's face it, who amongst us hasn't lost a tie to the...

Cathartid to refer to a single specimen; cathartidae is the name of the family. Compare arachnid/arachnidae.

How do you like dem Windows, Apple? July opening for Microsoft's first store in Blighty

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: When they eventually close it..

What is a BSOD? I have never seen one.

Bug-hunter reveals another 'make me admin' Windows 10 zero-day – and vows: 'There's more where that came from'

Glenturret Single Malt

"...the main problem in the West are greedy people..."

And this isn't a problem elsewhere too?

Essex named sexiest British accent followed closely by, um, Glaswegian

Glenturret Single Malt

Just as long as you don't pronounce Clydebank with the emphasis on the first syllable (confusion with Clydeside, compare Tyneside, Wearside).

I remember the revelation when I went to university in Glasgow and met my wife-to-be's family (Vale of Leven and Dumbarton) and friends from various points across central Scotland between Glasgow and Edinburgh. There is a continuum with subtle differences as you move west to east and so an undefinable number of different accents.

So, that's cheerio the nou to Dundee Satellite Receiving Station: Over 40 years of service axed for the sake of £338,000

Glenturret Single Malt

Scottish pronunciation

It is more likely that any Scotsman worth his salt would pronounce now as noo (rhyming with moo). See also coo (cow) and doo (dove/pigeon).

Make America Infringe Again: Trump campaign video pulled over Batman copyright

Glenturret Single Malt

And discreetly too.

The butterfly defect: MacBook keys wrecked by single grain of sand

Glenturret Single Malt

Reminds me of bread sold in Co-op supermarkets which is labelled Parisien Baguette, presumably in order to try and add some "authenticity". Its a pity that their marketing people hadn't done their French homework and would have appreciated that baguette is a feminine noun and (more subtly) that the adjective would be after the noun as in Baguette Parisienne.

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

Glenturret Single Malt

Recidivism my algorithm

The "cidivism" part of recidivism is pronounced with the same emphases as algorithm (and its anagram logarithm) so if you can pronounce one you pronounce the other. (OK, I know it was a joke, but just saying).

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Not sure...

My (ancient) keyboard has a non-detachable cable. Would that go in the dishwasher too?1

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: The room doll was removed

That is actually the first time in the many years of my chemical life that I have seen that spelling mistake that way round. Does this mean that computers and their inside bits are now more commonly encountered than furniture polish?

Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Don't believe ANY of it

Re Gene Cash

You state a view that I have often observed myself. I have frequently been shocked/appalled/disappointed by the inaccuracy of detail in newspaper articles about a familiar scientific subject (in my case, chemistry). As a consequence, I now mistrust any articles on other areas of science with which I am less familiar.

What happens when a Royal Navy warship sees a NATO task force headed straight for it? A crash course in Morse

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: After you. No, after you!

When walking towards someone on a pavement just wide enough for two people to pass, my tendency is to pass on the left (must be the Scottish Country Dancing experience). Unfortunately, an awful lot of people seem to have the opposite tendency leading to the "Shall we dance?" moments as described, if not actual collision.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Great article


LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

The Americans have a lot to answer for with span (spun), dove (dived) and fit (fitted) among those I can immediately think of.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

In a similar vein: I was once in a pub where the gents facility was just to one side of the bar.Which led to the scribbled inscription on the wall saying "the beer in this pub is the next thing to piss".

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Glenturret Single Malt

Whoops, difluoride.

Second most common spelling mistake I ever met in school chemistry (after "seperate").

The lead/led confusion (see an earlier post) I find funny.



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